Title: Life's Little Lessons
Author: Shadow Arashi
Fandom: Bleach
Pairing: implied Aizen x Grimmjow
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5111
Summary: Aizen decides it's time to teach Grimmjow a lesson and to get his destructive tendencies under control, and settles on an unusual method to do so.
Warnings: Swearing due to Grimmjow's colorful language, humor, mpreg, some fluff and probably a good dose of OOC.
Disclaimer: Bleach and its characters belong to Tite Kubo. I own nothing and am doing this for entertainment only and don't make any profit of it.

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"This can't be allowed to continue, Aizen-sama! He is a menace and needs to be put down or tamed once and for all!"

Tousen yelled, his voice raising amazingly high and into the realm of whining by the end of his speech.

Aizen merely kept smiling serenely at his subordinate.

"I understand your concern Kaname, but I won't get rid of one of my best elements because of something as insignificant as a slightly rowdy behaviour."

"But Aizen-sama-!"

The dark shinned shinigami tried again, only to be quickly shot down.

"Now did I say I would do nothing to remedy to the situation? I merely wish to find a less damaging solution to Grimmjow's aggressiveness. I need him to be in good condition to be a part of my army after all."

The master of Las Noches finished with a wave of his hand, indicating that the matter was closed as far as he was concerned. When Tousen opened his mouth to complain once again, Gin stepped forward.

"Aizen-sama, Tousen, may I suggest something?"

He asked lightly, his usual smile plastered on his face. Aizen smiled back and nodded his consent.

"What are you thinking about?"

Gin's grin widened even more than normal, before he whispered something in Aizen's ear. The other man's eyes visibly lightened up in glee.

"This is a wonderful idea. Kaname, go and fetch Szayel for me."

The blind man hesitated, looking as if he wished to add something but seemed to think better of it, nodding once before walking out of the room.

----

Szayel Apporro Grants was a busy man and a genius. Others would call him crazy or a mad scientist, though none of those inferior life forms mattered to him anyway.

Still there was only one person he could honestly consider above himself in every ways, and he was currently kneeling in front of them.

"You asked to see me Aizen-sama?"

The pink haired man asked as politely as he could, slightly worried he was being called due to the failure of another of his experiments.

"Indeed, Szayel. I have a mission for you."

The eight Espada allowed him to relax then, though he shown no outward indication of it.

"It will be my pleasure to serve you to the best of my abilities."

"Perfect." Aizen smiled gently at him "I want you to find a way to deal with Grimmjow's aggressiveness. Gin actually suggested a very interesting solution, and I know you can make it come true with your brilliant brain."

"What do you require of me, Aizen-sama?"

Szayel asked, inwardly thrilled and his scientific mind already caught with the promise of more experimentation.

"You see it's like this…"

And that was the beginning of the end.

----

"Grimmjow," the blue haired man glared at the pale arrancar who was standing before him with a blank look on his face "you are needed in Szayel's laboratory in ten minutes."

"What the fuck Ulquiorra? Why would I want to go there?" He snarled.

Like he would want to spend anymore time than necessary with that pink haired freak.

"It's an order from Aizen-sama."

Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed just enough to convey his distaste for the being before him. Grimmjow snorted right back at him.

"And I care because…?"

This time the Cuatro's face visibly tensed in annoyance.

"I will drag you there myself if I need to."

The Sexta almost snapped at the smaller man, and bit his lips lest he say something he would (not) regret.

Any other days and he would have gladly jumped at the chance to fight the Cuatro, but he had only recently been reintegrated as an Espada and he didn't want to compromise his status again so soon. As much as he hated to admit it, he owned Aizen for not killing him outright the first time.

So he turned away with a shrug, promptly ignoring Ulquiorra.

"Tch, fine. Don't get your panties into a twist…"

And with a huff, the panther like arrancar stormed off toward Szayel's quarters.

He would obey and get it done and over with, but only because the sooner it was done the sooner he could move on with his life. That and he really didn't want to deal with another of Ulquiorra's rants right now. That was all, honest.

----

"Ah Grimmjow, I was waiting for you."

The blue haired arrancar merely glared at the pink haired arrancar, glancing around the crowded lab warily. He was almost expecting ones of the deformed creatures locked in the large glass tanks filling the area to come alive and attack him any seconds. He really wouldn't be surprised if they were still alive.

"What do you want and how long must I suffer your company."

Better to get this done and over with fast, before the freak got any idea of experimenting on him.

"Why you-" Szayel bristled like an outraged peacock, before adjusting his glasses with a snort "Well never mind. Here, drink this."

He handed a small transparent bottle to Grimmjow. A pale liquid swirled inside it, subtly changing colors every few seconds.

"What the-" Grimmjow stared; and stared some more, before finally exploding "The hell?! What make you think I'll drink anything that you made?!" He yelled, already feeling the veins in his forehead throbbing with anger.

"Because it's an order from Aizen-sama."

Szayel answered haughtily. Grimmjow merely rolled his eyes at the typical answer.

"Oh please, I'm the last person that would work on."

He snorted, and was about to toss the bottle away when Szayel tore it from his hand with an offended look. The scientist then waved the clear vial in front of the panther's face, looking definitely unhappy but strangely determined.

"You can either drink it of your own volition, or I will force it down your throat."

Szayel would have never dared to say such a thing in normal circumstances. Grimmjow was two ranks above him after all. But Szayel was currently under Aizen's order, and keenly aware that the violent Sexta could do nothing against him at the moment, lest he pissed of their lord.

Inwardly, the pink haired arrancar allowed himself a laugh as he thought of the fate about to befall the panther. Revenge was sweet.

Grimmjow didn't seem to share his glee though, as the Sexta let out a low growl, barely restraining himself from kicking the eight Espada and his fuckin' experiments all the way to Soul Society.

"Ah! I would like to see you try!"

He barked, sharp pointed teeth bare in mockery and defiance.

"Fine, as you wish."

Oh how he was going to enjoy this.

Later Grimmjow would be unable to remember what happened exactly, except that it involved Szayel pinning him against the wall, tongues, a warm and itchy sensation in his stomach and a bitter, vile tasting liquid being forced down his throat.

His last coherent thought, as he staggered out of the lab, was that he really ought to kill that freak for the stunt he had just pulled. As soon as his head stop spinning that is…

----

Three weeks later and Grimmjow was truly ready to kill Szayel, and accessorily everyone in Las Noches.

Since his forced visit to the lab he had been feeling sick, faint, dizzy, had been throwing up the content of his stomach regularly and had been over all absolutely miserable.

"Uggghh… I don't know what that bastard did to me, but if it's Aizen's idea of a joke then it's not funny."

He hissed to himself, before growing pale and vomiting for the third time this morning.

A knock of his door pulled him from his musing as he flushed the toilet, shakily pulling himself onto his feet.

"Grimmjow, are you alright?" Ulquiorra's voice echoed faintly into the room, muffled by the door "Aizen-sama is requesting your presence in the meeting room."

"I'll be there in a minute."

He gasped out, struggling to catch his breath and threw a quick look at himself in the mirror. His face was slightly flushed from exertion, but otherwise he looked healthy.

His sharp ears caught the faint sound of Ulquiorra's footsteps fading away then and he sighed. After getting rid of the awful taste in his mouth and running a hand through his hair, Grimmjow left his quarters.

By the time he reached the meeting room he thankfully didn't feel like he would faint anymore. He was even almost able to summon the energy necessary to glare at Szayel when he noticed that the scientist was present for the meeting. Ulquiorra was also there, standing faithfully by Aizen's side as usual.

"You asked for me, Aizen-sama?"

Grimmjow said with a bit less energy than normal, not bothering to butcher or drop the honorific to his master's name, a detail that did not escape the attention of the others men in the room.

"Indeed my dear Grimmjow," Aizen said, giving the panther that god-awful smile he couldn't stand "tell me, have you been feeling sick or any different lately? Please be honest as this is very important."

The Sexta paused and narrowed his eyes at this, before he spun around to face Szayel with an angry snarl.

"YOU! It's your fault isn't it?!"

"Grimmjow," Aizen admonished the feline arrancar gently "this is not the time for this. Now answer the question."

With a last glare in Szayel's direction, Grimmjow gritted his teeth and answered reluctantly.

"I've been feeling sick for the last few weeks."

"Symptoms?" Szayel interrupted, already holding a pen in one hand and a notebook in the other.

"Fainting and dizzy spells, throwing up… overall I've been feeling like shit. Still am. Now what I wanna know is why. And I know it has something to do with what you did to me the last time I was in your lab, you bastard."

Grimmjow growled, hands twitching and itching with the need to claw the pink haired arrancar's pretty face off.

The scientist either ignored the tension in the Sexta or didn't notice it, writing down a few notes before nodding to himself and turning to face Aizen.

"Those fit all the parameters, Aizen-sama. The experiment was obviously a success. I will need to monitor Grimmjow for a while though, as a preventive measure of course."

Szayel concluded, and the former shinigami captain's smile widened.

"Perfect. Thank you Szayel."

That was the last straw for Grimmjow.

"WHAT THE HELL?! What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! What did you do to me?!!"

He hissed wildly, now visibly shaking with the need to fire a cero at the two men. If he had been in his release form his fur would have been standing on ends. Aizen raised a hand, trying to calm the agitated feline.

"Calm down Grimmjow. I merely asked Szayel to create something to help you control your more… aggressive urges."

"And getting me sick is supposed to do that?"

The Sexta dead-panned, obviously not convinced. He nearly had another fit when Aizen started laughing.

"Of course not. This experiment has nothing to do with getting you sick. Szayel merely used what I think is a very effective, if unorthodox, method to keep you busy and help redirect your aggressiveness somewhere else."

Grimmjow actually paused before speaking again, and blinked slowly. He did not like where this was going.

"Okay… so what's wrong with me then? What did he do?"

He hated himself for asking, he really did, but he decided it was better to find out now than to wait for it to come back and bit him in the ass later. He could always destroy a few hollow afterward to release his frustration and anger.

"It's very simple actually, Sexta." Szayel intervened again "The process itself and the mechanisms would be too complex to explain it to you, so I will make this as easily understandable as I can: in short, you are officially pregnant. Congratulation."

Silence.

"Can you run that by me again? I don't think I heard you correctly the first time."

Grimmjow finally said, looking completely dumbfounded.

Szayel smiled benevolently - the fuckin' bastard - and clapped his hands excitedly.

"You, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, are pregnant. Isn't it wonderful? It was Gin-sama's idea. He proposed to get your feline parental instincts to kick in to help curb your violent attitude and keep you busy. It was not easy but I'm rather proud of what I achieved with this project." The pink haired arrancar continued, not noticing Grimmjow's horrified looks "I had to do some tests to figure out the correct dosage of hormones to get your body ready for the process - this is what the liquid you drunk was for by the way - and then I had to graft the artificial womb-"

"Womb??" Grimmjow shrieked.

"Yes, one of my finest creations if I dare say so." The scientist actually puffed his chest slightly at this "I created a perfectly working artificial womb so you can carry the child safely. The male body wasn't meant for this after all. I had to sedate you to operate, which is why you probably didn't remember anything of what happened in the lab that day. Also, I must warn you that your hollow hole will naturally disappear because of that addition in the next few days to make place for the child and-"

"STOP!" The Sexta looked ready to pass out, having gone far past the realms of shock, horror and disbelief. "I can't fuckin' believe- you- this is-"

The blue haired arrancar was hyperventilating, obviously having been struck hard by the news. Szayel threw a concerned glance at his leader, wondering if he should sedate the feline hollow again until he was calm enough to deal with the news of his incoming motherhood.

He didn't have to however, as Grimmjow abruptly stopped and stood still. The Sexta slowly faced the two men, face pale and body trembling imperceptibly.

"If… I'm really pregnant…" his voice nearly broke down "and assuming this is not a joke… who is the father? And PLEASE tell me it's not you Szayel, or I may have to kill myself."

The scientist huffed slightly, but chose to let it drop when Aizen laughed out loud. The man then rose from his throne and approached the traumatised Sexta.

"Oh no, don't worry Grimmjow. I assure you that the father is not Szayel. I specifically asked him to use the spiritual energy of-"

"Wait, spiritual energy?"

Grimmjow couldn't help but ask, latching onto the question in spite of himself to try and drown his brain in information. Maybe then he would realise this was all a very bad dream. Then he could finally wake up.

Aizen just smiled (again) and nodded.

"Yes, Szayel used the reiatsu of the two fathers to extract the necessary information for the fertilization of an artificial egg. Had we been humans, Szayel would have used blood to extract the needed genetic code. But since in this case both parents are men and not humans, he used reiatsu signatures instead as it is more reliable."

Grimmjow nodded dazedly, feeling completely and utterly overwhelmed. Right now he was ready to cero his own face just to get the hell out of this nightmare.

"Alright, but that still doesn't tell me who is the father."

Fuck, was it really him saying that- that word? Was he really going to run along with that?

Aizen's smile just turned warmer, and Grimmjow nearly had a heat attack.

"It's me my dear Grimmjow. We are going to have kittens, isn't it wonderful?"

Grimmjow did the only thing he could.

He fainted.

----

That was the start of what would be later called The Nine Months of Hell by the inhabitants of Las Noches, with month one already well on its way.

----

Month Two…

"FUCK YOU!"

Grimmjow howled as he threw his tea mug straight at Stark's head. The primera barely managed to dodge the projectile and dived under the table for protection. He quickly raised his hands in surrender, slowly popping his head over the table while keeping wary eyes on the spitting inferno of feline rage.

"No need to get angry, I was just askin-"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS SO GIVE ME A BREAK!"

Stark let out a long suffering sigh and dropped his head onto the cold marble table. He had just been asking for the apple juice.

"How much longer did Szayel said the mood swings would last again?" He asked Ulquiorra tiredly.

"About two months."

"Fuck…"

----

Month three…

Yammy watched in terror as Grimmjow stopped yelling at him abruptly, his face becoming as white as his uniform before he collapsed onto the ground in a crumpled heap.

Immediately, Szayel seemed to materialise out of nowhere and went straight to the fallen arrancar's side.

"Damnit Yammy! You know all arrancars have been told to not upset Grimmjow, his fainting spells only get worse when he gets excited! Aizen-sama will have your head if he hurt himself."

Yammy looked at the out cold feline, whimpered, and ran away screaming.

"ULQUIORRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

----

Month four…

The Espada had reached the point where they were torn between kissing Aizen's feet, or cero his head off.

Grimmjow was actually having mixed feelings as well, though he was leaning more toward the second option at the moment.

While many arrancars had been dubious in the beginning, Grimmjow included, the reality was that Aizen's scheme was currently proving to be viciously efficient.

And as much as he hated to admit it, the Sexta had noticed that he had been slowly but surely growing so busy with taking care of himself and his unborn children (yes, children as in plural, 'cos Aizen couldn't at least have the decency to knock him up with only one kid but three) that after so long he was actually starting to loose his touch.

Most of the arrancars who were running away from him in fear not so long ago merely ignored him now, mainly because he was spending much of his time in his room sleeping or in Szayel's lab (something he still hated with a passion, but he tolerated it for the kids - oh god damnit -). He was also finding it harder to gather the energy (and will) to rant at people, which only made it worse.

And most of all, he was starting to show.

Him. Grimmjow Jeagerjaques.

Oh sure, Szayel kept telling him that he was barely showing and that with three kittens on the way he was a medical wonder (and the envy of all the female arrancars), but he was still.showing.

Muttering every swear words he had ever learnt under his breath, Grimmjow struggled to put on his new uniform and cursed the day he met Aizen Sosuke.

----

Month five…

"-and this is why we-"

Ulquiorra tried very hard not to let his eyes and attention wander. He really did. Aizen-sama was talking and he should be giving his lord his whole attention.

However, the Cuatro found that task to be incredibly difficult due to having a sleeping Grimmjow sprawled onto the meeting table next to him. Ulquiorra was pretty sure that nobody else could hear it, but the Sexta was purring in his sleep.

It was… disgustingly cute.

Finally loosing his inner battle, Ulquiorra glanced at the resting feline. In spite of the situation, not once did the thought of waking him up ever crossed his mind. The last few months had actually been very tiring for Grimmjow, and the feline arrancar needed all the rest he could get.

Considering the mood swings, fainting spells, and now the cravings the other man was going through, Ulquiorra couldn't blame him for sleeping even more than usual.

At least he wouldn't be a danger to himself and others while he was sleeping, the Cuatro thought as he listened to the gentle purring.

He didn't notice when the soft sound ended up lulling him into sleep himself, causing him to fall face first into his cup of tea in front of all the Espada.

----

Month six…

"So how is our mommy to be today?"

Nnoitra grinned widely at the Sexta, who was currently busy eating his third helping of rice with tomato ketchup and shrimp chips.

Ever since the inhabitants of Las Noches had been told about Grimmjow's unexpected pregnancy, Nnoitra had made it his goal in life to annoy the smaller feline and did it with admirable stubbornness, in spite of Aizen's orders.

Grimmjow didn't even bother answering him, and gulped down another spoon of rice.

Pissed at being ignored again, Nnoitra flopped down onto his chair next to Szayel with a disappointed expression that suspiciously ressembled a pout.

"Fuck, the kitty got really boring since Aizen-sama knocked him up. He doesn't even fight back anymore."

The dark haired Espada complained, only to find himself under the reproachful glare (or as much as the expresionless arrancar could glare) of the Cuatro.

"May I remind you that this is exactly what Aizen-sama wanted, Jigura? Or did you forget what happened in the last few months? Grimmjow has only recently begun to show signs of calming down. I do not think it is in anybody's interest to rile him up again."

Nnoitra fidgeted a bit on his chair, glanced at the oblivious Grimmjow, and shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah, but things are dead boring now. At least he knew how to liven up the place before. Now all he does is eat and sleep. The only time he ever does complain or snap at people anymore is when they get too close to touching his stomach, and that's if they do it without his consent."

Silence fell upon the two arrancars again. Then their eyes slowly, almost against their will, settled upon the still eating Sexta.

"Well at least Aizen-sama's plan is working."

Ulquiorra stated, watching the blue haired man as he finished his meal and left the room silently with an almost… content look on his face.

Both arrancars shivered.

Maybe a happy Grimmjow wasn't such a good idea.

----

Month seven…

"Ulquiorra, do you know where I can find Grimmjow? I need him in my lab for his check-up."

The pale skinned arrancar did not raise his head from his book as he answered the panicked looking scientist.

"He was curled up in a ball on his bed the last time I saw him, as usual."

"Not anymore. I just checked his room and he is not there."

Ulquiorra finally putting down his choice of literature and stared at the other man.

"Did you check everywhere?"

"Yes! His room, the kitchen, the training room," Szayel started to pull at his hair "even though he knows better than to use it by now… hell, I even checked the quarters of the others Espada!"

The Cuatro groaned inwardly and rubbed the bridge of his nose in an uncharacteristic display of annoyance.

"We will have to ask Aizen-sama then. He probably knows where the Sexta is."

He said tiredly as he pulled himself from his chair, Szayel following right behind him. They reached the throne room after a few minutes, Ulquiorra opening the massive doors with a single push of his hand before they both stepped inside.

Nothing, however, could have prepared the two arrancars for the sight that greeted them.

The very feline they had been looking for was right there, fast asleep on Aizen's lap and purring happily while the leader and God of Las Noches alternatively petted his soft blue hair and now well-round stomach.

Szayel made a choking sound, eyes growing wide while Ulquiorra stared blankly, though his own eyes looked slightly more opened than usual.

"Szayel, Ulquiorra. What can I do for you?"

Aizen asked pleasantly, never letting off on his petting.

Ulquiorra was the first to recover, and he bowed slightly before speaking.

"Szayel was looking for the Sexta for his check-up, Aizen-sama."

Aizen nodded, moving slightly to sit straighter on his throne and causing a sudden flash of white to catch the attention of the two arrancars.

As Szayel and Ulquiorra attempted to identify what they had just saw; they finally noticed for the first time that Grimmjow was actually in his released form. The flash of white had been his feline tail, which was flicking gently in his sleep.

"Of course," Both arrancars jumped, startled, as they had nearly forgotten that they were still waiting for their leader to answer "I guess Grimmjow finally hit the point in his pregnancy where he had to resort to shifting into his final form to maintain his level of reiatsu. Most of his energy is going to the children after all."

The shinigami continued to play with the long hair of his Sexta Espada as he spoke.

"Ah… Yes." Szayel adjusted his glasses, trying to get his composure back "Should I wake him up now or come back later, Aizen-sama?"

"Let him have his rest for now. This is taking a heavy toll on him and I'm proud to see how well he has managed so far. This is turning even better than I hoped."

Szayel and Ulquiorra exchanged a look and quickly left the room, praying to every deities that would listen for the whole ordeal to be done and over with soon.

----

Month eight…

It was becoming an increasingly common sight to see Grimmjow sprawled on Aizen's couch (since his previous hiding place, which used to be his private quarters, had been 'accidentally' destroyed by Nnoitra) in his pantera form and purring gently, either in his sleep or at anyone who would pet him as they pass by him.

Most arrancars had stopped whatever they were doing to gawk at him in the beginning, but now female arrancars (and even a few males) would gather around him to pet his ears and squeal at how happy the Sexta looked and to exchange gossip and advices for his upcoming litter.

Grimmjow accepted it all with a content look, unless his admirers ventured too close to his stomach without asking first, which scared the hell out of the rest of the Espada more than anything else the Sexta had ever done before (with the exception of Halibel, who tended to join the lower arrancars in their admiration of the Sexta more often than not).

Even Nnoitra had stopped making fun of the feline after being kicked in the nuts by a pissed off fraccion who hadn't like the way he had been yanking on the Sexta's tail (figuratively and literally speaking).

Somewhere in the back of the room Sun Sun let out another high-pitched squeal, and the nine strongest arrancars in Aizen's army turned just in time to see an awestruck Tesla rubbing the stomach of the purring feline.

Nnoitra's tea mug met an unfortunate end that day as it collided with the back of Tesla's head in a fatal accident. The tea cup was well mourned.

----

Month nine…

Szayel stumbled into the kitchen at 8am with bloodshot eyes, pale and nearly tripping over his feet. This unusual event caused the members of the Espada who were sitting at the kitchen table to stop talking immediately, before they all looked at him questioningly.

"Oi, what's wrong pink freak? You look ready to kneel over."

Said pink freak glared at the oh-so-graceful Nnoitra, who merely grinned before taking another bite of his muffin.

"It's nothing, at least nothing that concerns you."

Szayel muttered tiredly and rubbed his eyes. He then staggered toward Aizen, who had been observing everything in silence.

"Aizen-sama, I just wanted to let you know that Grimmjow just gave birth. They are all resting in the Sexta's room. Now if you will excuse me, I need to... recover from…"

The poor scientist swayed on his feet, and promptly collapsed on the spot.

The whole room fell into shocked silence.

Until Aizen quickly rose from his chair and nearly knocked it over.

"Gin," he turned toward the silver haired man "You're in charge."

The master of Las Noches then proceeded to run out of the kitchen like his coat was on fire under the stunned gazes of his Espada.

Stark was the first to react this time as he let out a long sigh of pure relief.

"Thank god it's finally over. I'm finally going to get full nights of sleep again."

Gin cackled at this, smiling brightly at the tired and traumatised Espada.

"Oh no, this is only the beginning! Grimmjow is going to need some help to take care of three kittens. Aizen-sama won't let him do it all by himself, the poor kitty will drop of exertion otherwise!"

More silence.

And the joined, perfectly synchronised screams of eight traumatised arrancars and one excited Halibel echoed into the room.

----

A week later…

"Well, who would have thought that the kitty would make such a great mommy?"

Gin babbled happily as he watched Grimmjow take care of his three children, all perfectly healthy with adorable little kitten ears and tails like their mother. Szayel had swore those would go away when they learn to seal their true form, to the joy of their sire.

The little kittens were the spitting images of their parents, the litter having two brown haired boys with blue eyes and one little girl with blue hair and dark eyes. And if their mother couldn't be prouder of his kittens, Aizen was completed enamoured with his children.

Ulquiorra stood as stoically as ever by Gin's side, keeping an eye on the little family as ordered until the return of Lord Aizen.

"I think the past few months were pretty clear indicators of that possibility. Let us hope that it will last."

The pale arrancar murmured almost to himself.

The silver haired man just smiled wider.

"Oh don't worry you pretty little head, Ulqui-chan! Aizen-sama already thought of that."

"Really?"

Ulquiorra asked, and immediately regretted it when he saw the unholy glint of mischief in the eyes of his superior (even though they were closed, yes Gin is just that amazing).

"Yes. Aizen-sama said that if getting pregnant is what it takes to keep the kitty under control, then all he has to do is to get him with kittens again!"

The Cuatro blinked, brain furiously trying to make sense of what he had just heard.

His brain valiantly refused to compute the horrifying statement, and Ulquiorra did the only logical thing a rational being such as he could do.

He promptly screamed and fainted.