Courage
Rating: M
Summary: And as Eric took in the sight of her - chin raised in defiance, feet planted firmly and beautiful eyes daring him to make his next move - he knew she had found her courage. He had never thought that it would be against him.
Notes:
- Starts before Eric's choosing.
- Initiation age is 18.
- Follows the same OCs in my Differentiate/Contrast stories.
Disclaimer:
Veronica Roth owns Divergent and characters within. OCs are property of missalohahula.
"Don't give up all your romance... A little bit is a good thing. Not too much, of course, but keep a little of it." - L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
Eric never enjoyed the first seminar of the day. He always believed that grouping the students together - from different factions - were disruptive to the learning process. Of course, that learning process wouldn't matter. At least not this year. This year he was given another task - one that his mother and Aunt strongly believed in. He sat down quietly writing formulas in his attempt to drown out the nonsense that was strolling into the room.
Unfortunately for him it hadn't completely worked. Muffled giggles could still be heard. In fact, they appeared to be getting louder. A soft body bumped into his side, causing his arm to jerk, the formula now ruined. His perfectly formed numbers and words were all askew.
"I'm so sorry," a girl's voice stated.
Eric bit the bottom of his lip. "It's alright," his hand tightened momentarily on the pen before he grabbed the paper and stood up to throw it away.
"I hope you forgive me and my friends for ruining your chemical displacement theory," her voice followed him.
It was an Amity that much he could tell - especially from the cheerful tone and smell of flowers in the air that followed the girl. However, what caught him off guard was the fact that she stated something along with her apology. Eric turned around to see the girl standing before him. Yes, she was an Amity - the dark red skirt was unlike any other color he had seen girls from Amity using. Her white blouse fitted her form. And what a glorious form she had, Eric thought as his eyes roamed her body.
Her long brown hair fell around her face and he spotted a pink flower behind her ear. Her brown eyes sparked innocence and curiosity. And her smile. He understood why artists and writers had been so captured with the painting of a woman's smile. Originally Eric had thought the notion to be frivolous. But there was something behind this girl's smile - something so mysterious and unknown, something untouched and untamed. She looked lovely.
White, he shook his head. Why was an Amity using a white blouse?
"It's a little early don't you think to be working on your displacement theory," she asked.
Eric shook his head again and looked down to see her hand gesturing to the paper clenched in his. He had momentarily forgotten that this bewitching person caused him to make an error. He should have been upset with her, he was upset with her. But one look into her eyes and he had forgotten. And was she talking about displacement? How would she know what he was writing?
"I've heard that the reaction - if negative - should be changed. May I see your work," she took the paper from his hand and began to unfold it.
Eric thought it was the most exquisite thing he had ever seen. Her eyes took in every word and number he had written. And before he knew it she was speaking to him again. The only problem was that he couldn't hear what she was saying - totally mesmerized by the way her lips moved as she spoke or how her eyes squinted in concentration. Every muscle that ticked on her face, her cheeks, her lips - she was something out of a romance novel. Not that he had ever read one. But he had often wondered how a male could describe a female's anatomy as something alluring. He found the answer.
"Class, take your seats."
The Amity smiled politely at the teacher before turning her attention back to him. "Well, I wanted to apologize again. My friends were being a little giddy. There's a lot to occupy the mind, especially since this year we will be choosing," she prompted. "Don't you think?"
From what Eric could gather, she wanted to have a conversation with him. He opened his mouth and found that he couldn't form a single intelligent response. Why was he suddenly speechless?
"Please take your seats," the teacher appeared next to them. Eric looked over to see that it was Jeanine Matthews. He gave her a nod and turned to look at the Amity. But when he returned she was already walking back to her seat. "Mr. Coulter?"
"Yes, ma'am," Eric mumbled and went back to his seat.
He turned around to see the Amity girl talking to the other girls she had entered the classroom with. He had never seen her before. Actually, he had never noticed any girl before until now. What was it about her that had captured his interest, had piqued his curiosity, enslaved his thoughts?
Looking back down at his desk he noticed that the paper sat there, placed in a way that he could only assume she attempted to take out the crinkles he had made. He touched the paper before turning to look at her once more. The Amity girl was looking straight at him, a soft smile on her lips as she blushed - actually blushed in his direction. He never found anything so delightful as the tint on her cheeks.
"Mr. Coulter?"
Eric turned back to the front of the classroom only to see Miss Matthews standing in front of him.
"You will speak to me after class for your lack of interest in what we are learning about. Now," she turned on her heels and walked back to her podium without waiting for a response from him. Not that she needed one, he thought as he glanced at his Aunt before returning back to his paper.
The teaching was basic knowledge - at least to Eric's standards, and possibly a few other Erudite kids, judging from their bored expressions. Normally the itinerary for the hour consisted of Faction history. It always did. Miss Matthews enjoyed conversing about the negative and positive attributes of not just the faction system but also the various factions. Eric had heard it many times. It wasn't necessarily 'dinner-conversation', but the topic of the faction system was definitely his Aunt's conversation.
He waited patiently, continuing to write in his notebook before he noticed a few glass tablets were placed on the certain students' desk. He - and a good percentage of the Erudite children - had been given a glass tablet. A new form of technology that was to revolutionize the city and how people communicated or stored massive amounts of information. A couple Dauntless and Candor students had also been given the glass tablet. No Abnegation - surprise, surprise. But to Eric's shock and joy, one certain Amity student had been given a tablet. She clutched it tightly to her chest as her friends marveled at her.
"As I've stated earlier, every student with a tablet has been selected by the educators here to further the learning process," Miss Matthews stated. "You are the future of this City, the future of your faction. Knowledge is power. I will see those select few at my noon session and afternoon seminar. Class is dismissed."
Eric stayed in his seat as all the students began to file out. He looked towards his Aunt to see her staring at him with a pinched expression. He had done something wrong.
Just as he went to stand, a hand fell on his shoulder. Looking up, his eyes met the Amity. A brilliant, excited smile was on her face.
"So, I guess this means that I'll see you at noon. Perhaps we could get an early lunch. I'd really like to hear more about your displacement theory." She paused and rolled her eyes. "Of course, I don't enjoy working with serums - which sounds odd for me to say, since I am an Amity. But it would be interesting to learn more about your idea for upgrading serums. We always seem to be on the brink of advancement," she held the tablet, shifting it in her hand before clutching it back to her chest as though it were a lifeline for her. "I truly feel honored that I've been hand-picked by the..."
"Miss Summers."
The Amity turned, and the spell was broken. "Yes, Miss Matthews," she replied before looking over her shoulder at Eric one last time. She smiled politely at him. "I'll speak with you later."
His eyes followed her as she walked - more like glided about the room. Was she promising him that they would meet? What did that even mean? Was she engaging him in some sort of social norm that he was expected to follow? He wanted to follow, he thought.
And just as Miss Matthews cleared her throat, the Amity walked pass his desk and out of the classroom. The scent of her lingered briefly before it disappeared completely. The smell of books and machine now occupied the room in her absence. He missed her already.
"No attachments."
Eric turned back to his Aunt and nodded.
"Your mother and I discussed this with you at length. You know my plan, what I need, what is required to get done, why we are..."
"I understand, Aunt," Eric interrupted. She pressed her lips in annoyance and Eric cleared his throat before standing. "The Amity was merely having a conversation with me. There was nothing else."
His Aunt smiled. However, it became apparent the reason for her look a second later. "The male body responds to female persuasion sometimes with just a touch, other times," he gestured to his pants. Eric glanced down to see that his body had experienced a hormonal arousal because of the Amity. "Other times all it takes is just a look. The eyes can deceive you. She's just another pretty face, Eric. Don't be fooled by some silly romantic notion," her voice was firm.
"Yes, ma'am," Eric shifted, the arousal significantly decreasing under his Aunt's scrutiny.
"I don't want this family to fail all because of another distraction."
JoyAnna walked into the library, her eyes scanning the room before her. Finally, they settled on a group of Erudite. Their blue clothing attire was hard to ignore. The library was often filled with Erudite, so naturally the sight of her walking inside had caused a slight stir. Her brother Jordan would incite a ruckus by his entrance into the library when he was still attending school. It came to no surprise that he had defected to Erudite.
Perhaps the others were wondering - making assumption about her as well. She smiled politely at everyone and continued to walk towards the group of blue-clad individuals. One of the girls paused as they spotted her, indicating her presence to the others at the table with a blink of her eye and a nod of her head.
"Forgive me for intruding, and I hope that I don't appear rude in my asking," JoyAnna began as a few of them smiled at her apology. Typical Amity behavior, she supposed they were guessing. "I was hoping that one of you could point me in the direction of where I could locate a Mr. Coulter."
Majority of the Erudite crowd looked at one another in shock.
"And what would you need with Eric, tree-hugger?"
"Calm down, Hera," one of the other girls teased her good-naturedly before turning back to JoyAnna. "She meant no harm. But the question still remains, what do you need Eric for? I didn't think that he socialized much with those," her eyes roamed JoyAnna's attire dismissively, "outside of Erudite."
"We have a few lessons together and I was hoping to discuss some of the material the teacher gave us."
"Eric in Amity seminars," one of them whispered in a scandalized tone.
"Surely, his mother - or even his Aunt - would have placed him in advanced..."
"Hush," the first girl - whom JoyAnna could only assume was named Hera - chastised the two gossipers before she stood slowly to study JoyAnna. "Eric doesn't take any seminars on agriculture. Surely you're mistaken."
"I am not," JoyAnna lifted her chin in the air as Hera's eyes widened. "I have lessons on chemicals, sociology and statistics. Mr. Coulter is in those lessons and I wanted to have a word with him."
The way that the group studied her, she was certain that they didn't believe a word that she was saying. Surprisingly another young Erudite - one that she had seen in their lessons - crossed the library and nodded in her direction.
"I can vouch for Miss Summers attending those seminars," she replied before stepping closer to JoyAnna. "Miss Matthews won't take kindly to an Amity seeking out her nephew. You've been trying to talk to him all day," she said in a soft tone so that the others wouldn't hear. "I believe that his Aunt sent him home for study hall."
JoyAnna nodded in understanding. She glanced around the table to see the group of girls straining to hear the conversation she was having with one of their associates. "Thank you for being so helpful. I will leave you all to your studying. Peace be..."
"With us, we know," Hera finished before shaking her head and looking down at her book.
JoyAnna quickly exited the library finding herself in distress at not being able to locate Eric. She just wanted to apologize for this morning. Then, when she discovered that he was in the rest of her lessons, she couldn't contain her enthusiasm. He was adorable - in an awkward, sensible, intelligent sort of way. And she was interested in his theories and ideas.
During their statistics lesson, she sat down next to him and proceeded to question him about his numbers and then had him correct her numbers. She could have sworn that she saw him smile impressively at her work. She couldn't understand why she was suddenly desperate for the approval of someone she had just met - who wasn't even a family member or a faction member. But he intrigued her.
And then when it became apparent that he would be present during her other lessons, she smiled with excitement. Here was a person that she could finally talk to about all the things that was on her mind. Serenity and Felicity couldn't understand her. And Hannah often reproached her when she prattled about nonsense. JoyAnna was described as being too opinionated and too stubborn. Those weren't traits befitting a good Amity wife, Hannah often explained - with a gentle heart of course.
"Why do you look so down," a voice caught her attention. She turned to see Gregory sitting on a bench.
"First day at school. I'm sad it's over," she shrugged.
Gregory laughed and shook his head. "There are at least a few months left for you to enjoy before your choosing day." He took something from his pouch, twirled it around his shoulders before tossing it in her direction. She caught it, smiling that he was sharing a mango with her.
"I didn't know that these were still available," she replied, stepping forward to sit by him on the bench. "Thank you."
"I packed it since I had to travel into the City today for work," he explained in a tone that said he was attempting to intimidate her. The notion wasn't lost, and it caused JoyAnna's cheeks to warm. Of course, not in the same way that it did when Eric Coulter had looked at her.
She shook her head before thanking Gregory again.
"Anytime, JoyAnna," he smiled softly before standing and gesturing for her to join him.
They walked back to Amity having pleasant conversation - and probably standing a bit too close for something that could have been considered appropriate. After all, Gregory was nineteen years old - the same age as her brother Jordan. She had noticed that Gregory had been calling on their family lately. At first, she decided that it was because of Jordan's departure. Everyone felt it - especially since Jordan wasn't the first of her brothers to defect. But now, she could only assume there was another reason for Gregory's visits.
"Are you alright?"
Her head turned towards him and she nodded. "I was just thinking on something that happened today at school."
She looked away quickly, amazed that a lie had slipped from her lips so quickly and easily. Well, she thought, she definitely wasn't Candor. Gregory kept the conversation short and on topics that were safe - at least in JoyAnna's mind. Although, she desperately wanted to talk of other matters.
Thankfully Gregory didn't stay long when he dropped her off at home, which allowed for her to mull over the incident with the Erudite boy. Perhaps she was too talkative for him. May haps he felt her conversation wasn't intelligent enough for him. And if that was the case, she definitely wanted to improve on the subject. After preparing a dish for supper, she hurried to the backyard to a spot under one of the trees to read a book she had received from one of the teachers.
The material wasn't difficult to grasp. In fact, JoyAnna was enjoying it thoroughly until her brother Jack called her in. She quickly picked up the books and papers that she had unknowingly scattered around her. Smiling, she took in the last assignment and remembered that she had yet to speak to the Erudite boy - Eric Coulter, she had learned was his name.
"JoyAnna," Jack chastised gently as he caught her daydreaming outside.
If only he knew, she thought before placing her papers into her books and hurrying inside. Before she could dash up to her room, Jack pulled out one of the books. "Jack," she began but he looked at her curiously. "It's for class."
"Statistics," he questioned.
JoyAnna took the book back and tucked it with the others under her arm. "We need to know numbers in order to plant and grow food."
Jack sighed and nodded.
Other than that little - rather short - discussion with her brother, no one else had brought up school during dinner. Hannah had been coming over regularly. And if she wasn't over at their house, then Jack would eat dinner with Hannah's family. It was obvious that soon Hannah and Jack would be announcing their engagement soon. It made JoyAnna think about Jonathan and Jordan. What were the girls like in Erudite? What was courtship like in Erudite? Perhaps tomorrow she could discuss it with Eric.
Unfortunately for her, Eric wasn't talkative the next day. He would blink at her as if he was still shocked - or impressed, which she really hoped that he was - that she could converse about difficult topics.
"Hey Eric," she called after they left the first lesson.
He paused and looked around the hall before his eyes landed on her.
"I was hoping that we'd walk to our next lesson together," she was being rather forward. The shock was evident on his face when his eyes widened, and he looked around again. "Forgive me, I just thought that we could talk some more."
His only response was to look deep in thought, as if it was an arduous decision.
"Or if you didn't want to, then I completely understand. I went to the library to look for you and talk to you about Lieutenant Max's lesson. I noticed that there were only a handful of us that weren't Dauntless in the class and I wanted your opinion on the syllabus."
She paused and then took in his horrified expression when she mentioned that she had looked for him.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sought you out. I was just..."
Eric shook his head and offered her a small smile. JoyAnna could only assume that she had been forgiven.
"So, on to the next lesson?"
He nodded, and his smile widened slightly before he held up his arm, gesturing down the hall towards their next lesson. She wasn't sure what prompted her to, but she smiled brightly, looped her arm with his and pulled him down the hallway.
"I'm so glad that we had this opportunity to talk. Or rather, I've been talking. Either way, I'm still glad. Anyway," JoyAnna began.
She prattled on about her incident in the library, explaining how rather ghastly a couple of the girls from Erudite had behaved. Then she quickly apologized because she shouldn't have been speaking ill of anyone - especially anyone that he might have been close friends with. She noted that he was rather shy and reserved, but she didn't mind it at all. She would read his facial cues and she would take that as a response. Over the next few days their friendship had blossomed - at least in her mind it did.
JoyAnna Summers would walk into the classroom and it was like nothing else existed. Although Eric knew that was highly impossible. There were so much other things that existed other than this wonderful Amity girl that gave him a thrill. She would always come in and prattle on about how beautiful the morning's sunrise was in her backyard. She had watched the sky 'ablaze with an aluminous dance'.
She always would mention something that made Eric think that she was the most enchanting and perceptive person he had ever met. She was a distraction - a lively, entertaining, arousing distraction. There were a few occasions that he found himself undressing her in his mind. Lately, his eyes would roam her form with appreciation. He had not known what had come over him. His body reacted to her more than it had with anyone else.
"She's dangerous to our plans," his Aunt reminded him the third time he had walked with her out of their first seminar. "You may not feel the effects now, but you will in time. And in the end, you'll realize just how ridiculous and absurd your attempt at seeking a thrill would have been. Get rid of her."
But he found that he couldn't. And after a few days of walking her to their next lesson had turned into weeks, and those weeks of walking and sitting together had turned into a couple months of routine companionship, he found that he couldn't end his friendship with her - at least he was hoping that they were friends.
He never responded or talked to her. It's not like he couldn't get a word in because she always would pause and allow for a response. Eric found that he couldn't bring himself to interrupt her. He enjoyed listening to her, being with her.
And every day he'd sit down at his desk, waiting for her to walk in. But today she hadn't, and class had already started. He glanced at the small group of Amity girls that she normally walked in with. Two of them had looked his way and offered him a smile before turning their attention back to the front.
Where was JoyAnna?
Eric breathed an impatient sigh. He was hoping that his Aunt would hurry class along today. But for some reason time seemed to drag on without JoyAnna's presence next to him - of course in her own desk and in her own chair. That changed in the seminars that followed because two of those seminars actually had Eric and JoyAnna sharing tables.
"You're going to be my partner," she had decided. And he hadn't refused.
But when the class was over, and she still hadn't shown, he was truly concerned. He wanted to approach the girls from Amity - the same way that she had approached Hera, Rachel and Barbara. Instead, he found that he couldn't - he was too afraid. He lacked the courage.
Eric paused and allowed them to walk out, berating himself for being such an idiot.
"Eric, right?"
He turned around and spotted a girl - a pretty girl. But to him, she was nothing like JoyAnna. Her hair was an attractive, deep red. He found that he loved JoyAnna's chocolate waves and the way they framed her dusted, seductive eyes. This girl was dressed in black - Dauntless black. He eyed her with contempt before moving away.
"Hey pal, I was talking to you," she grabbed his arm, pulling him back.
"Well, I don't want to talk to you," he stopped and briskly moved himself away from her. "And I'm not your pal."
"You got that right," she rolled her eyes. "But I know someone who is and from the looks of it, she needs a friend."
Eric stopped and quickly looked back at the Dauntless girl. What was she talking about?
She shook her head again, laughing lightly. "My name is Shauna Rodriguez. I'm in like three of the same classes as you."
"Like," he questioned. "You either are or you're not."
Rolling her eyes for the second time, she punched softly at his shoulder. "You know what I mean, you nose. Anyways, I've seen you and the Amity - JoyAnna, I believe is her name. Anyone would have to factionless if they didn't see the two of you and your chemistry together," she nudged him.
Eric wasn't sure how to react to the sudden physical closeness of the Dauntless girl.
"We don't have chemistry. The scientific seminars we take are biology and..."
She laughed - like a real laugh. It really irritated Eric. "Not that, silly. Chemistry as in an attraction to one another," she looked at him with a dumbfounded expression. "For someone so smart, I can't believe you didn't pick up on that."
"I'm going to ignore the fact that you just insulted me."
"It wasn't an insult. Okay, so maybe it was a little one," she made her fingers really close as if she was pinching something. "But I saw JoyAnna with the other Amity this morning, she was talking to someone and the conversation didn't look pleasant."
For all the nonsense she was making, Eric was glad that she had brought up JoyAnna. He hurried to stand right in front of her, worried that the action might frighten her. But the girl was Dauntless and looked unencumbered by his sudden forwardness.
"Where were they?"
"At the side, where the Amity catch the wagon. It almost looked like they were arguing."
Eric dashed away - well as fast of a getaway that he believed he could do. Shauna, however, was able to catch up to him.
"I walked her to the bathroom because she was crying."
Crying? Why was she crying? Without having to ask, Shauna began to reply that JoyAnna had started courting - something he briefly remembered she brought up last week. Well, apparently the courtship was over rather quickly, and she felt like a failure, like she had done something wrong. JoyAnna could do no wrong in Eric's book, though. His heart was aching to see her, comfort her.
Eric remembered that day vividly. The boy's name was Gregory. And when JoyAnna had mentioned that he had asked her to start courting, she had looked at Eric expectantly. Maybe she wanted him to object. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part. He had never met Gregory, but he hated the guy instantly. He had never known such an intense feeling before. At least nothing like this before he had met JoyAnna. But for the past couple months, she had truly become someone that he cared about. And he knew that he couldn't start anything like a 'courtship' with her, not when they were in other factions. And especially not when his Aunt considered her a distraction.
A part of him was glad that the courtship was over. Although he was also greatly disturbed that it was causing her such pain. Perhaps, JoyAnna cared for Gregory the same way that Eric cared for her. That's when he realized that someone like JoyAnna would never be attracted to him - not some Erudite. She'd want someone kind and compassionate like an Amity. But this example of her broken heart was confusing him more and more with each second.
"There," Shauna gestured out of the building. "She said that she would just wait outside by some tree," she shrugged.
Eric didn't understand the fascination with trees either, but he didn't delve further on the topic. He thanked Shauna with a brief nod and ventured out. Goodness gracious, what would Miss Jeanine Matthews say of her nephew now as he walked out of the school building and made his way out of it? He was going to be absent from his seminars. This was totally against the rules.
He paused mid-step on the last step and then shook his head. This was for JoyAnna. He glanced back one last time to see a shocked expression on Shauna's face, disbelief written all over it that an Erudite would willingly leave behind education.
Eric puffed up his chest, pushed his glasses back and walked determinedly out towards the fields.
Skin sweating and mind racing, he finally stumbled across a tree where JoyAnna's bag had been hanging on a low branch. He looked around quickly before hearing soft sobs. JoyAnna was up in the tree.
Without thinking of the consequences of his actions, he climbed up the tree after her. It took him a while and he slipped every now and then. Obviously, this was a physics problem he thought in his head as he tried not to calculate the chances of him falling to his death.
"Eric," JoyAnna gasped and wiped her face quickly when she spotted him. "What are you doing here? Surely you have lessons?"
He looked up at her, those beautiful brown eyes with sadness in them. And it struck him then that he couldn't form a sentence around her. Why was he so frightened and nervous to talk to her? Talking to Shauna was no Herculean task. But here he was, with his chance to say something comforting, and he couldn't come up with nothing but a smile.
She smiled in reply before wiping her face yet again. She held out her arm and helped pull him towards the branch she was sitting on.
When he finally got situated, she leaned against him making his heart beat to life. He let his chin rest against her hair as she began to cry once more. "Stay with me," she said as her arms held onto him.
He wanted to ask her what had happened between her and Gregory. But feeling her so close to him made him forget about everything - and just like that he was back to believing that nothing else existed.
Eric leaned back against the trunk of the tree and pulled her closely into him. He didn't reply. Instead he just held her - held her the way that he had seen a few Dauntless and Amity holding one another. She smelled so wonderful. Her tears stained his shirt, but Eric found that he just didn't care. All that mattered was that they were together again. And all seemed alright in the world.
