Title: A Day in the Life
Author: Shannon/Freelance
Summary: A day in the life of a doctor.
Spoilers: Well, Runner. For the introduction of a character.
Warnings: Has one line that could possibly be interpretated as Sheppard/Ronon. I have no idea how that happened.
Disclaimer: Not my show. Not my characters.
A/N: This is told in limerick-style and, um, yes. It's weird. I think I'm on some form of fandom crack. Ronon may be slightly out of character. I blame that on extenuating circumstances. I'm sorry if you receive any bad mental images.
Written for the Insane Carson Appreciation Week.
Doctor Carson Beckett's our man,
And he does whatever he can.
If you're feeling quite queasy
Or your breathing's uneasy,
He'll soothe with the palm of his hand.
Now, Carson's the right sort of bloke.
He's from the kind and caring folk.
But threaten or insult him,
Your future becomes quite dim,
And with the big needles he'll poke.
Many people get this promise each day,
Whether they're Kavanagh or even McKay.
The only people exempt,
Are two ladies well-kept,
(But that's 'cause they're nice to him, anyway.)
One evening, our Carson was eating,
And sighed - so many people he'd been treating.
He deserved a long break,
And a big piece of cake,
And maybe even a night spent sleeping.
But alas, it was not meant to be.
For in stormed a man like a tree.
He was as big as a bear,
And he had the same stare.
He cried, "Help! I can no longer pee!"
Carson stared at Ronon in dismay,
"You mean, in the ordinary way?"
The big man was flushing;
Hell, he was even blushing.
Carson sighed. "To the medical bay!"
"Ronon, please lie on the bed."
And he did, his face bright red.
Carson looked to the sky,
And muttered, "God, why?"
Then looked down and did shake his head.
"Now, lad, just what is wrong here?"
Closed his eyes and then he did peer.
"I don't know!" was the shout,
"It just won't come out!
No matter how hard I squeeze."
Carson poked and he prodded and tested.
His blood and his tears he invested.
Then three hours later,
A white piece of paper,
Gave the answer to that he had quested.
"Well, it seems it's an allergic reaction.
It made your tract swell just a fraction.
Give it an hour or two,
And it'll be good as new.
And then it'll pee you some action."
Ronon blinked and he broke out a smile;
The first Carson had seen in a while.
"But just what," he did ask,
"Froze up my flask?
Was it Sheppard or something that's vile?"
Carson sighed and he hemmed and he hawwed.
"Out with it!" Ronon soon roared.
"My big needles? 'Twas them.
With the wrong medicine."
Ronon stared. "Off with your head by my sword!"
But it's all good - no beheading was done;
For Carson, he knew how to run.
He dashed to his needles;
Ronon hid, all feeble.
"No beheadings and no needles then, son."
It was a happy day in the end.
The two forgave and now are firm friends.
Dear Ronon can pee,
And Carson won't flee
As he has his needles with which to defend.
