So, this is my first chapter fic - arrgh! i hope you enjoy,

Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling (as if the questionable quality of the writing wouldn't give that away anyway) but just to say i don't own the characters or the world, i just like writing about them.

Warnings: this is slash (boy-boy romance) so if you aren't into that sort of thing then please just go read something else. its rated M for mentions of violence and for sexual scenes and language in later chapters.

The cellar was dark and smelled damp. It was freezing cold despite the ragged blankets Sirius had found in a corner. It was times like this he wished he had paid attention when learning about wand-less magic, all he wanted as a little light. Not that he was afraid of the dark, he was a brave Gryffindor after all, but in this house it was only sensible to be afraid of what could be lurking in the dark.

Suddenly the door opened with a squeal and a crack of light streamed across the filthy floor. So maybe a light wouldn't help, Sirius thought as he caught a glimpse of the ominous looking stains there.

"Out" his mother barked. "Now." Her clipped tones dripped danger and Sirius forced his stiff muscles to respond as quickly as possible. Walburga wasn't the sort of woman you kept waiting. Apparently he wasn't quick enough though as he felt a hex land on his forearm leaving a large burn there. Tripping up the steps in his haste Sirius hurried out of his dark and stinking prison, knowing what he was walking towards was quite possibly even worse.

"So Sirius" Mrs Black sneered when he was standing before her in the kitchen, blinking in the sudden brightness, "have you had time down there to realise your mistakes and rethink things?"

"It's not a mistake mother, it's who I am" his voice was horse from not being used for so long. He tried with all his might not to betray the fear that bubbled in the pit of his stomach as he saw her sneer contort and her wand being lifted.

"Maybe you need a little more persuading" she hissed evilly through her teeth as the first curse lifted Sirius off his feet and sent him sprawling painfully into a wall before another paralysed him. Sirius locked his jaw and tried to remain silent as she pulled out a long silver knife. He refused let her hear him scream.

**

Remus was sat stiffly on his bed trying to read what was probably a very interesting book and refusing to look out of the window. Well, he was trying to refuse to look but somehow his eyes still drifted towards the the small tawny owl flying towards him. His heart jolted traitorously. Maybe this time, he couldn't help but hope as he thrust the window open. But no, the handwriting on the letter was, yet again, his own. Sirius had returned another of his letters unopened. Remus couldn't understand. Why would Sirius be ignoring him like this? His last letter, sent a week into the holidays, had been full of warmth and love and then, nothing. Not a word. Just the return of each and every letter, unopened, untouched in fact. Each letter came back pristine the day after it was sent and each time Remus' worry increased. Sirius was never the type to ignore someone, if he wanted them to leave him alone he would just say it. But now, nothing. Not a word in over 3 weeks. At the very least Sirius thought he was owed and explanation. If Sirius had somehow decided his parents were right and he had no business consorting with a half blood werewolf then why didn't he just come out and say it? It would hurt, but anything, anything, had to be better than this silence.

Remus stood, removing the letter and giving his owl a soft pet before sending her downstairs to her cage for food and sleep. Hesitatingly he pulled a shoebox from under his bed and placed the letter with the others. 17 letters from the last 3 weeks, all unopened. Remus knew it was pathetic, maybe even a little stalkerish, but he still couldn't throw these letters away. Because if he did then he would be admitting that it was all over, that Sirius really didn't want Remus in his life anymore, and that was something he wasn't ready to admit yet. No matter how silly it seemed Remus couldn't help but hold on to the hope this was all some horrible misunderstanding and that somehow when they returned to school everything would be how it was before. That somehow, someway, it would all be okay.

The loud crack from the garden caught him completely off guard, causing him to jump and drop the box of letters. As they slid haphazardly across the floor he stood to glance outside and all of a sudden his blood ran cold. He was frozen, as if in a horrible dream, staring at the scene outside his window, and then suddenly he was running, somehow avoiding falling as he nearly flew downstairs and out of the backdoor. Remus skidded to a halt over the broken body that had collapsed on the lawn, leaning down to sweep a lock of hair from his face.

"Siri?" Remus knew it was him and yet he couldn't help but ask. The dirty and bloodied boy in front of him bore almost no resemblance to the grinning young man who had kissed him rather soundly by way of a goodbye behind a pillar at Kings Cross just four short weeks ago. He was painfully thin, his torn clothes hanging loosely off of his filthy limbs. Through the thick stench of unwashed body was a much worse smell, the metallic scent of blood. "Oh god Siri, mum, MUM!" Remus screamed, the obvious distress in his voice causing his mother to rush outside almost as fast as her son had done.

"Remi?" Sirius managed weakly his eyes unfocused as he tried unsuccessfully to lift his head. Trying to comfort him Remus squeezed his hand trying to let him know he was there even as Sirius passed out completely.