When I'm lying in your bed play the motions through my head
you know that I'm thinking
that I have reasons to believe that I'm not the only
one you spend this time with, will I stay?

You say...
you wont let me down
you lie through your teeth
you smile in your sleep

When we met you said we were the same, you know
that we're different, we're different,
and all the times you promised me that everything would
work out in the end, you were gravely mistaken

You lie

you lie through your teeth
you wont let me down, and you lie
I deserve better than this

I dream of your end,

you gasp for air, I'll see this through, I'll see through you

when you're lying in your bed, the eulogy's been read
you know that it's fitting, you lie

You smile

I deserve better than this.

-Silverstein

Looking down at his bed I said nothing out loud. Inside I was screaming like God didn't even know. The door opened to his room as William came to my side. I was frozen to the spot, not willing to move. My teeth were pushed together so hard I was sure that they were going to break. Yet that was the least of my problems.

"You lie." I whispered so quietly I was sure that he had not heard me. Will turned to me and put his arms around me, "You came up here quick, everything okay?" I hated that sweet voice which I had trusted. I hated that voice that had pretended to love me. I hated him all the same. I hated him. I hated his lies.

A moment's silence passed between us before I turned to go. Taking my arm Will dragged me to him before asking, "Babe, what's going on?" For the first time I looked deeply into those brown eyes. I had grown to love him, his eyes, that perfectly jawed face. I had grown to love every part of him…but this was too much.

"It's fitting…" I whispered again and this time he heard the words I had uttered.

"Clare, what's going on?" He seemed genuinely concerned. His voice was hurt by my silence. His eyes looked sick with worry. Even his arms trapped me and begged me to speak. Everything about this scene reminded me of a good boyfriend. A good lover.

Tearing my gaze from him I looked to the bed once more. He was lying, that was the truth of the matter. The only thing that hurt worse than losing him was realizing that he had loved another while I had given him my heart on a silver platter.

It hurt that I had trusted Will with my heart, my body and even my mind. I had given him the truth in all situations. I had given him everything that a boyfriend could possibly want. I gave him the deepest love that I would ever have for someone. He had it all…along with another lovers love.

Taking me in his arms he hugged me but I tore myself away. Tears were coming but my anger held me down harder. Screaming I said, "It's fitting- you're a liar!"

William had a confused look on his face before he reached for me. "Don't touch me!" I screamed it at him as the back of my hand made contact with his cheek.

Realizing he was sold out and pulling no ace William tried another approach, "Honey, it was only one-"

"Don't tell me it was one night! You lying bastard! You didn't even had the balls to tell me you fucker!" I yelled it with an everlasting volume.

Shoving him onto the bed I threw open the door in my rage. Running down the stairs I felt the tears come in full force. I could hear his footsteps coming after me but I ran. For once I used the legs to run from something instead of towards something. The fear of being caught by him clenched itself in my throat. I knew that if he caught me perhaps I would forget what I had seen. Perhaps I would find a reason to forgive him…and that was not acceptable.

But was I strong enough for this?

I was in my car when he came up to it. Pressing the locks just in time I saw him in my window. He was trying to tell me that he was sorry. He was trying to tell me that it would never happen again. What was he doing? Oh yes, he was giving me excuses! Sick of him I put the car in drive.

"Talk to me babe!" He yelled it as loud as he could rolling the window down I looked into those solid brown eyes. How fucking screwed up they were.

"Honey," I whispered, "Talk to this!" Holding up my middle finger I smiled sweetly.

I never saw him again until the funeral.

He had drunk himself to death. It was suicide they said. His heart hurt too much.

I said at least he didn't need to bear the coldness of it anymore.

I also said…

"You said you would die for love…I guess that makes one of us, because I already died for you."

"Karma sucks babe…"