This is a vent fanfiction. I won't be going into details because I figured with that being said the story give you an idea of what of the feelings I've been having.
And I must also note that this is not based on real events at all, and I say that being both slightly angry and relieved...And if this does resemble real events then it is purely coincidental.
Also, this fanfic contains ships. Contestshipping and Penguinshipping to be exact. Leave it along though, I don't like Penguinshipping either but I needed someone to represent my boyfriend. To be honest Dawn is one of the few characters I prefer to be single, but I wasn't going to pair her up with Paul, bleh!
I am not suicidal or attempted suicide recently, I just wanted to write a story with suicide in it and I felt using my feelings as motivation for a suicide story would help...I'd write the suicide hotline here, but not all my readers come from the US. (Shout out to all the people who read my stuff who come from the Phillipines!) To be blunt I don't consider the suicide hotline very helpful...However, being saved by someone else (which is how I was able to get over suicidal thoughts and actions in the past) is nothing to be ashamed of. It doesn't make you any less than someone who can save themselves. On with the disclaimer!
Disclaimer(s): Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Gamefreak...Well actually this is animeverse AU...I don't know who or what owns the Pokemon anime but it is not mine, this is fanmade by a fan.
Dawn had a fainting spell, and it was so bad that she was hospitalized. The young coordinator had been through a lot, she would barely open up nowadays except to her boyfriend Kenny. Dawn told herself she would be fine though, her boyfriend was always the best solace and he was right next to her on her hospital bed. She and her boyfriend were thankful that she would be released tomorrow though.
It was getting late, it would be almost time for the nurses to tell Dawn lights out. She wished she could be sleeping next to Kenny and forget about everything for now.
"I wonder where Misty is," Kenny said.
Misty was a close friend of Dawn, they would always support each other no matter what. Then loud talking and shuffling was heard from outside the door. Dawn ignored it, it did not sound familiar to her, but then the door burst open.
"Dawn!" Cried a feminine voice.
Dawn was confused at first, she never heard that voice cry her name before.
"Please tell me you're holding up ok!" Said the girl again.
Dawn said nothing, she looked around as a girl with brunette hair placed flowers and balloons around her hospital room along with a green haired man she had never saw before. They also seemed to have a Glaceon and Roselia.
"May has told me a lot about you and your boyfriend," The green haired man said.
"…That name!" Dawn thought, she felt fear crawl into her heart.
It was the first time that Dawn saw her fellow coordinator and friend in real life, but she made an uncomfortable swallow.
Dawn and May were long distance friends of sorts. They would only talk online and see each other in Pokémon contests. Dawn enjoyed May's kind words, but when they finally lived closer to each other May would always say she was too busy for Dawn. May had lots of responsibilities, on top of which she recently revealed that she was getting married and everyone on the internet would praise May and ask if she was ok, make sure she was ok, treat her like a queen, it made Dawn incredibly jealous. She said to Kenny once that she vowed to claim May's crown.
May was never there for Dawn physically and barely around online, Dawn had other friends who were more busy than May and still managed to make time for her, like Kenny's friends. Now Dawn was fighting against her burning eyes.
"Go away!" Dawn cried softly.
"What?" May said.
"It hurts," Dawn said, hiding her burning eyes.
May blinked, "I can get a doctor—"
"No!" Dawn cried.
Dawn clutched her bed sheets. "Why are you here?! You never spent time with me before, I could only watch you on TV and on the internet, and you were happy with everyone else. And now you finally show up right when I was nearly on my death bed?!"
Kenny wrapped his arms around his girl friend. Glaceon and Roselia gave their concerned cries. May's boyfriend gave a more serious look at Dawn, it made her feel ill like he was judging her unfairly. May looked like she was about to cry for a moment too, but she said nothing more.
Glaceon looked up at May, then the ice type Pokémon crawled to Dawn, but Dawn felt like she was about to go insane. A few more moments of silence and she cried out and crashed her face into the pillow and covered herself with the blanket and sobbed, pushing herself away from her boyfriend's grasp.
Kenny looked down and clenched his fists, then stared at May and her boyfriend.
"Please leave, it's almost time for Dawn to go to sleep anyway."
May's sorrowful look became desperate. "Can Drew and I at least talk to you!" May pleaded.
Kenny gave May a blank look. "There is a lot to talk about." He said.
May gave a mortified look, her boyfriend Drew wrapped his arms around her.
Nobody said a word when they all prepared to leave. May gripped the hospital door and stared at her friend who laid on her side and refused to look at her.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow Dawn, alright?"
In Dawn's mind she growled.
Kenny was the last one to leave.
"I love you Dawn, please be ok." Kenny said.
Dawn felt that was a totally selfish thing for her boyfriend to say, she was not ok. She would never be ok as long as May was around.
Kenny turned off the lights and closed the door. The blue haired girl felt that sleep would be the perfect way to rid herself of all her anger. However, after 30 minutes of keeping her eyes closed, she opened them up again, feeling hopeless in terms of sleep.
The young coordinator punched the white hospital mattress slightly and then hugged her pillow, even if she knew there was no escape.
She thought she saw projections on the walls and ceilings of May's masterful contest performances. All the times she remembered everyone praising her and congratulating her for her being engaged, telling her how much she has grown. Some of her friends would even tell her to be careful during a storm, that seemed so weird to Dawn. That never happened to Dawn. None of that ever happened to Dawn. She blamed her misfortune on being a year younger than May, even her friends who never met May said that May was wiser and knew more than Dawn just because May was 21, and Dawn was 20.
She tossed and turned as her eyes went red with tears. The young coordinator wanted lightning to strike on May's wedding or for the worst to happen to her. In the past she would have so many daydreams of her yelling out May and physically hurting her, but tonight would be the last night.
When midnight came Dawn had enough, she got out of bed and walked out of her hospital room. Walking in the cool dark hallway felt like she was finally running away from her problems, but also running away from others.
Her Pokémon would be left alone but she felt this was for the better, everyone around her felt she was being too sad and angry for the past months. Even her own boyfriend and Pokémon grew wary. The only people who didn't mention it were Misty and Brock, but they generally accepted Dawn for who she was. She was fed up with all the others feeling she should change though, when everyone treated May like the perfect queen of a kingdom.
Thinking about all the positive things others would force on her made her glare, and furthered her motivation to walk to the balcony. Cold air and the slight rustling of trees that nearly surrounded the hospital made some noise, not loud, but noticeable. Below the blue haired girl was healthy green grass, but she knew this would be painful. To her though, the emotional pain was much worse and she felt as she was constantly losing a game she did not want to play.
With some struggle she stood up on the edge of a balcony tall and careless like an Aipom, or a child who manages to stand on top of monkey bars.
The wind helped her just enough help to fall forward. She was falling head first with her eyes closed, but the last thing she imagined when falling was her and May as young children spending time on a sunny day and looking equally happy.
That never even happened though, and probably wouldn't of happened even if Dawn decided to stay alive.
In the morning not only doctors and nurses shuffling around, but also police officers. At first it did not cross Kenny, or May, or Drew's minds at all that Dawn was the reason why, until the doctor and nurse who took care of Dawn approached Kenny with sorrowful looks.
"Kenny I'm sorry but Dawn jumped off the balcony," said the doctor.
With those words said the brown haired man found it hard to breath, but he still screamed out a loud "no" in denial and ran to Dawn's hospital room only for it to be surrounded by police. He cried and screamed and ran through the cops to see that Dawn was not there, the only thing left of her was her backpack filled with her important items, and the flowers and balloons left by Drew and May.
The police found her lifeless next to a rock that had dried blood on top, they already took her away.
As for May, she went through her own panic attack. Knowing the friend she said she loved and cared for so much was now gone for good. Her face, usually happy go lucky and rosy in contrast to Dawn was now messy because of her tears. Everyone in the hospital scream and cry in denial until she begged and pleaded for Dawn to return.
Flashes of Dawn smiling haunted her as Drew held her close, she was beautiful in her contest attire and so confident, but May only cried more because now she knew the truth.
Well as you can see, this was an AU...I bloody know Dawn and May were awesome friends...Then again it's been awhile since I watched the Diamond and Pearl anime. *sigh* I miss Dawn. But when I thought about me and her for some reason I thought of Dawn and May.
Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed reading, this is Emiko Gale signing out.
