Author's Note: This story is from an old challenge on another site.

Summary: Raphael muses on his life

Disclaimer: As always, I do not own the Ninja Turtles. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.


I watch over this city. I have for almost three years now and I have no intention of stopping. My methods and partners have changed over the years, but I remain. This may not be the best life and it is certainly not one that promises much of a future, but it's the only life I know.

Some might ask why I do this. Is it easy? Is it fun? No to both of them. This sure as hell ain't easy, and to call it fun would belittle what I and a small handful of others do. I mean, sure, it's got it's moments. There's ain't no greater high than just after takin' down some punk in a good fight. But overall, nah, this ain't fun. It's necessary.

It's what I do, and it's all I'm good at.

Bein' out there in that sort of environment... it can mess with ya. Eventually all ya see is the bad stuff. If you're not careful, you can forget why you're out there doin' what you're doin'. 'To protect innocents' can become nothin' but simple words. Words ain't why I'm out here. It's people, man, and when you forget that, you forget everything.

I go out there almost every night and do what I do because I know someone's gotta do it. Don't suppose it's gotta be me, but I can an' not everyone can say that. So I might as well. I don't do this because it makes me happy. If anyone in this line of work says it makes 'em happy, then they're probably lyin' to ya. The end result can make ya happy, but actually bein' out there? No, you'd have ta be insane for that ta make ya happy.

Ya ask Donnie and he'll tell ya that fear and intimidation ain't the only way ta accomplish somthin'. An' he's probably right. He's right about a lotta stuff. Still, they can be useful tactics. Especially out here. Guy snatches some lady's purse, what ya gonna do, ask 'im ta give it back? Yeah, that'll work. I'm sure he'll be real sorry about it. He gonna learn from a little talkin' to? No, he ain't. Because he thinks he already knows everythin' there is ta know. Bein' peaceful ain't gonna change his mind. It ain't gonna teach 'im nothin'.

Donnie might be more of a pacifist than I am – Yeah, like that's hard ta do – but he ain't stupid. Even if he is more book worm guy than street guy he knows his way around the city. He recognizes that sometimes ya gotta do people a little damage ta get through.

It ain't a one way street though. Ya do some damage, ya get some done ta you. All of my brothers have their share of scars. They're badges. They're somthin' ta be proud of. A scar means ya did your time an' earned what you have, even if it ain't much. Scars can't be taken away, they're yours forever. They're symbols of where ya been and what ya been through.

If ya don't got a scar ya never lived. It can't all be bunnies and roses. And who'd want that? I mean, talk about borin'. That's no kinda experience, that's no kinda life. Whatcha got ta be proud of if everythin' has always been handed to ya? It ain't yours. It ain't somethin' ya earned, it sure as shell ain't somethin' ta be respected for. A scar? That's something different entirely.

This life my brothers and I lead may not be the cushiest life, but it's livin'. You KNOW you're alive out here. Every cut, every bruise, every rough scrape proves it to ya. It's all I know and I wouldn't have it any other way.