Tegan's POV. Italics indicate internal thought, while italics + bold indicate text messages.


"I really am just so happy about you being alive. Please don't die unexpectedly."

Hahahahaha. What a joke. What a fucking joke.

"I was happy with you. Really truly actually happy. For the first time."

Fuck, this is funnier than Saturday Night Live. Holy shit.

"It was supposed to be me and you. You were supposed to be the one I ended up with. After Stacy decides I'm not good enough, I'm supposed to come home to you, but you're fucking it all up once again, Tegan."

It takes everything I have not to throw my phone across my filthy excuse of an apartment and against the window. My whole body feels like it's on fire and I need to extinguish it, quickly. It's not the outside, it's the inside- my heart is a house, that's been doused in gasoline and been set on fire by the person who inhabited it for as long as I can remember. Then again, all the stupid shit I did when said person left probably damaged something in my head, so my memory's not too great at the moment. However, I can remember every single moment that I shared with that fucking person. The secret kisses, the sweet text messages, the angry passive-aggressive fights, everything.

I mean, it wasn't even fair- I didn't even do anything. I honestly didn't do anything, she fucked it all up. She was the one who said "no", she was the one who broke me, she was the one who left me on the floor the day she said she was leaving for good; at any given moment, she could of stopped but she "needed" to leave. Bullshit, for what? Some fucking girl who rarely gave you the light of day at the beginning but then realized what a great idea it would be to steal you away from me, the person who's been hopelessly in love with you for how long? The person who would literally give an arm and a leg for you? The person who has been through Hell and back, just to see you smile once, even with all the bullshit you put me through? Jesus fucking Christ.

My head hurts from all the thinking and just when I was about to forget about it all by pouring myself a glass of liquor, my phone buzzes. I freeze in my tracks as I stop to determine if it's a text or a call, judging by the absence of another buzz- but it continues. So it's a call, it's probably Mom or Lindsey, the girl I've been fucking around with to forget about the girl who destroyed me in the first place. I didn't even bother to check the contact information before I swiped across my phone to pick it up.

"It's Tegan, how may I-" Before I could even say anything, the voice on the other side interrupts and my stomach drops. I could feel all the color drain from my face the second I recognize that voice.

"Tegan, it's Sara. Please listen to me. I'm in Vancouver, and I need to talk to you. Now. It's urgent."