Author's Note: I don't quite know what possessed me to write this, but here it is. It's quite different than what I normally write, so I'm not sure if it's total crap or not, but hopefully you all will like it. All feedback is very much appreciated, especially since I have no clue how this fic will be received.
He stared at the frail, speckled hand in his own. It was cold, but somehow comfortable. It felt like a hand that he should recognize, but he didn't. He looked up at the other people in the room. They all had tear streaked faces, and they all resembled the woman in the bed. The woman whose hand was clutching his fingers. Why was she holding onto him? Who… does he know her? Should he know her? Who were all these people? Where was he? Oh god.
"Daniel…" croaked a small voice.
His eyes widened and he looked at the woman in the bed. Was she talking to him?
"Daniel," she said again, and when his eyes locked with hers, his heart rate calmed down and his breathing became even. She squeezed his fingers and gave him a weak smile. Weak, but beautiful. He looked down at her hand again and his thumb brushed against her knuckles. The woman emitted a soft moan, and as he glanced back up at her face he caught the tear rolling down her cheek. Her eyes were tired, but they were bright, and her smile was hopeful. And he smiled back, because it felt like the right thing to do. The familiar thing.
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She was holding a baby. A beautiful baby girl with a small tuft of soft, black hair. He approached the bed, this feeling of complete happiness washing through him. He touched the woman's shoulder and gazed at the cooing baby. Blue eyes. Blue, just like his own. He said this to the woman, and she laughed and shook her head. Then she reached up and clutched his fingers. He looked at the hand and brushed his thumb against her knuckles. She sniffled and looked up at him, and he caught the single tear rolling down her cheek. Her eyes were tired, but they were bright, and her smile was hopeful. And he smiled back.
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He looked at the other people in the room. This time he noticed that one of the women had blue eyes. Blue eyes like his own. There was another woman, a little bit younger, with brown eyes and brown hair. And next to her was a man, a man that he recognized. At least he thought he did. He… it looked like him. It was him. Except… the brown eyes.
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They were outside. It was warm, but there was a pleasant breeze. He was sitting at the patio table in the shade of the umbrella, pouring over The Book for the special anniversary issue. Everything had to be perfect. He could hear the girls' playful screaming as they jumped through the sprinkler. He could hear a woman humming in the kitchen through the screen door, an aroma of chocolate cake invading his senses. Then he felt a tug on his sleeve and he tore his eyes away from The Book. He was met with a small boy, maybe 5 years old, holding up a baseball glove and asking him to play catch.
"I'm sorry, buddy, I can't. I've got a lot of work to do."
"Please?" the boy asked in his squeaky voice.
"I can't," he replied.
The light disappeared from the little boy's brown eyes and his shoulders drooped as he turned to walk away.
He felt a tightening in his chest and he cursed at himself. Work could wait. He jumped out of his chair and caught up to the little boy. He never wanted to see the light disappear from those eyes again.
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"Daniel, look at me," he heard the weak voice say. "Please."
She keeps calling him Daniel. It must be his name. It sounded right. He looked into her eyes once more, and he felt warm. Calm. Almost normal. Maybe it was normal. He couldn't quite remember what that felt like.
She smiled at him again and slowly brought his hand to her face, softly caressing the back of his hand with her cheek as she closed her eyes. Her skin was wrinkled with time, but it was still soft. Still familiar. She opened her eyes and smiled warmly at him as she said, "I love you, Daniel. Always remember that."
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He wanted to surprise her. It was their fifth anniversary, a milestone as far as he was concerned. He held the bottle of champagne behind his back as he opened the door to their apartment. Then he heard crying. Insanely loud, nerve-wracking crying, and he saw her walking back and forth, bouncing the baby on her shoulder.
"Oh, Daniel, thank god!" she said.
Worry surrounded him and he put the champagne on the coffee table without another thought. "What's wrong?"
"Colic," she said irritably.
Daniel felt helpless. The baby's pain was killing him. He wished he could take it away from her, suffer for her so that she wouldn't have to feel it. He ran his hand through his hair as he felt tears stinging his eyes. He had to do something. He went to the baby's room and grabbed her Winnie the Pooh mobile that played music. He turned it as loud as it would go and played Brahms Lullaby. He set it on the coffee table next to the champagne. The baby's cries began to lessen, but the mother kept pacing nervously, her own crying mixing with the baby's. He walked up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She stopped.
"Daniel," she whispered, a smile in her voice. "She stopped. She stopped crying." She turned around and gave him that huge, gorgeous smile that lit up her entire face. "She fell asleep," she said, laughing happily.
Daniel smiled and leaned down to kiss the baby on the forehead, then he wrapped his arm around the woman's shoulders and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. He could taste the salt from her tears.
He saw her look at the champagne bottle. "I guess this isn't exactly the night you had planned, huh?"
"Not exactly," Daniel chuckled. "But it can be." He gave her a sly smile as he took the baby from the woman and laid her in her car seat. He turned the music softer, and he opened the glass doors to the balcony to let the cool night air drift into the room. He held his hand out to the woman and asked, "Care for a dance?"
She gave him his favorite smile. The one full of complete love and devotion, admiration… pride. The one reserved only for him. She took his hand and he led her onto the balcony. They danced in the moonlight and he inhaled the sweet scent of her strawberry shampoo as he held her close. She slowly brought his hand to her face, softly caressing the back of his hand with her cheek as she closed her eyes. Her skin was smooth and soft and damp. She opened her eyes and smiled warmly at him as she said, "I love you, Daniel. Always remember that."
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She was his wife. He knew that now. If only he could remember her name. His eyes searched the room for a clue, and he stopped at a photo on the dresser. It was him and his wife, and his second daughter. They all had deliriously happy smiles on their faces. The daughter was in between him and his wife, an arm around both of them, in a blue graduation cap and gown.
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"That's our baby girl, Daniel," she said, her hand grasping his arm tight. "I can't believe it."
Daniel had never felt so proud in his life as he watched his girl walk across that stage. She was going to do great things, he knew she would. She had her mother's fighting spirit. When she was handed her degree, she turned around and mouthed "I love you, Dad." He smiled and nodded his head, and he hid his face from his wife, but he knew she knew he was crying.
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"Daniel," he heard the voice say again, weaker than ever. He felt a surge of panic as he realized how shallow her breathing was, but when she squeezed his hand and caught his attention, he was calm again.
He stared into her glossy brown eyes, trying with every fiber of his being to remember her name. It was in his soul. He knew it was there. He just had to remember. He opened his mouth, but he couldn't find the words. He couldn't remember how to form the words even if he knew what to say.
She just gave him a weak smile and said, "I know." And he knew she knew. She lifted a hand to his face and he closed his eyes.
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He couldn't keep the smile from his face as she walked down the aisle. She looked absolutely beautiful. That dress on anyone else would have been a mistake, but on her it was just… perfect. He couldn't even stand still. He kept fidgeting with his cuffs and rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. The giddiness was oozing out of him and he wasn't one bit embarrassed. She just had that effect on him. And as the ceremony went on, and he realized how utterly lucky he was to get to spend the rest of his life with this woman, he felt the tears coming. And when it was his turn to say his vows, he opened his mouth, but he couldn't find the words. There was so much that he wanted to say, but it would never be enough.
She just gave him a soft smile and said, "I know." And he knew she knew. She lifted a hand to his face and he closed his eyes.
"Betty…" he whispered.
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"Betty…"
Total contentment engulfed him as the knowledge of her name came back to him. Their life together. Their love. He had a desperate need to share the moment with Betty. He wanted to see her proud smile. He wanted her to know that he remembered her. But when he opened his eyes, the life in her was gone. Her fingers had gone limp, her eyes were closed, and the slow rise and fall of her chest had stopped. She was gone.
He felt his bottom lip quiver and he heard himself let out a deep sob. He clutched Betty's hand to his lips, shaking, letting all of the pain in his heart be heard. His children surrounded him, each one holding onto his neck, each one sharing in his pain. He knew it was just a matter of minutes before he'd forget again, and for that he was thankful. But he will always remember her. She'll always be a part of him. His conscience, his heart… his soul.
She loved him, he'll always remember that.
