An experiment with introspective writing.

Lavinia/Smithy if you squint really really hard.

Disclaimer: I do not own Jane and the Dragon and am only using the characters for fun.


She doesn't understand love. Her mother tells her that as she is coming of age, she will notice changes in her heart. She will fall in love. Lavinia laughs and tells her mother she is silly and that she will never be in love and that she only wants to play with boys, not get married to them.

"You will my dear Lavinia." Her mother smiles, "You will."

But even as she grows and suitors all vie for her hand, she still does not understand love. Yes, she enjoys the presents and the attention and the stolen kisses by the fountain, and she likes to be pampered and chased after. But she does not know if she feels love. Some are rather handsom, but even when her heart pulses much too rapidly upon gazing at their faces, still she does not know if she loves.

She wonders if perhaps she is mistaking another feeling for love. She asks Pepper and Rake what love is and the two look at each other and burn red. She asks Gunther who says love is a pain in his arse. She asks Dragon, who is as clueless as she. She asks Jester, who says love is sunny orange hair and beautiful emerald green eyes. She doesn't understand a word he says, but tells him he should pursue his love before she is taken away. She asks Smithy, who says that love is knowing everything about someone, the good and the bad, yet still accepting them for who they are.

"So then I love you, Smithy!"

She doesn't understand what she said wrong, but he drops his mallet onto his shoes and knocks over some finished swords and turns the color of the flames in the furnace.

She runs to Jane.

"And I love you, Jane!"

She runs to Dragon.

"And I love you, Dragon!"

And runs to Pepper.

"And I love you, Pepper!"

And runs to her father. And her mother. And her brother. And everyone in the kingdom who she sees, exclaiming her love for them. Because even though her kingdom has many people, good and bad with good and bad aspects, she still accepts them. And she supposes that must be love. She still does not quite understand love the feeling, but at least she knows who she loves. And that is a start.