Hayley pressed the bottle to her lips and took a lengthy sip of the burning liquid. It clawed its way down her throat and into her chest, but it couldn't numb the intense pain she felt in her heart. She was halfway done with the bottle, but she still felt nothing besides a dull drunkenness. Her vision and thoughts were slightly blurry, but her emotions were a catastrophic mess. There was so much anger and hatred in her heart that it masked the sadness. She wanted nothing more than to hold Jack in her arms once more so that she could run her hands through his unruly, dark mane of hair and tell him that she loved him.

A tear rolled down Hayley's cheek as she leaned against the railing of the balcony. She looked across the street at her empty apartment and thought seriously about throwing the half empty bottle of bourbon accompanied by a match into the window and watching the place burn down. However, that would be impractical, she realized, since most of hers and Hope's things were in there. But so were Jack's. That was just something she wasn't ready to face yet. So instead, Hayley tilted her head back and drained almost the rest of the liquid before flinging it out the window and watching it shatter on the pavement.

She wiped her mouth with her sleeve and stumbled into her old bedroom at the compound. She hadn't even asked if she could stay here, but she didn't really care right now. After the funeral, Elijah offered to drive her home, but she told him to take her here. From there she grabbed a bottle of bourbon from Klaus's infinite collection and began trying to drown her feelings in alcohol. Hayley pulled back the covers to get into bed, but she was struck by the fact that her hands still had blood on them. In fact, most of her body still had blood on it. Deciding that she didn't want to wake up like this in the morning, she made her way to the bathroom and turned the shower on before stripping away her ruined clothes and stepping into the hot spray. The water swirling at the drain quickly turned red and she shuddered.

How many showers had she taken like this? How many times had she turned up the water so hot that it burned her skin simply so she could wash away all the pain of the day? How many times had the water been red or brown or mixtures of both from whatever fight she had been in? She scrubbed her body fiercely trying to rid herself of these thoughts, but she couldn't. There was nothing she could do to keep herself from replaying what happened just hours earlier today.

She could still smell his blood. She could see the pain in his eyes as his heart was quite literally ripped from his chest. She could hear his scream mixed in with her own. Her knees began to wobble and Hayley collapsed under the water. She cried out for the loss of her husband and hugged her knees to her chest. Sobs were wreaking havoc on her body and she thought she might throw up. She closed her eyes and melted to the shower floor just praying for something to take the pain away. Even when the water turned cold she stayed there, shivering on the floor unable to force herself to move.

"Come Hayley," a soft voice said. She knew who it belonged to, but she couldn't muster the courage to look up. The water turned off and she felt herself being wrapped in a warm cotton towel, but she could not control her shivering or her tears. Soothing hands brushed the tangles from her wet hair and tried to dry her off as much as possible. Eventually she got into some clothes and was led to bed. She shuddered under the cool sheets, but the weight of several other blankets began to warm her. Realizing how exhausted she was, her eyes closed on command. As she began to drift to sleep, a pair of warm lips pressed against her temple.

"You will not be alone through this."


Hayley awoke in the dark thoroughly confused as to where she was and what time it was. Looking over at the window, she found that she was indeed at the Mikaelson's and someone had covered all the windows with blankets. Knowing it wasn't Klaus, she figured she would have to thank Elijah later.

Elijah.

Her stomach dropped at the thought of him. She knew he was the one who had put her to bed last night and couldn't help but wonder what he thought of her in such a weak state. Hayley was not one to show her soft side to anyone. She had grown up constantly fighting everyone and everything, so she didn't have time to be vulnerable. But Elijah had seen every side. He had seen the fighter, the mother, the friend, the lover… and now he had seen the damaged side of her that she never wanted anyone to see. She felt broken beyond repair and saw no way to be fixed.

Regardless, she climbed out of bed and made her way towards the voices she heard downstairs. Hushed tones bickered back and forth, and at the moment Hayley could've cared less if they were talking about her. She knew they would all treat her as though she was made of glass with the exception of Klaus. If there was one thing Hayley hated more than showing she was weak, it was being treated that way.

"Do not lecture me, brother. I'm aware that Camille is off the rails perhaps tearing into some unfortunate soul's carotid artery, but there are frankly more important matters to deal with like how we are going to prepare for dear Aurora's retaliation once she knows her brother is locked away at the bottom of the ocean suffering for all of eternity," Klaus said.

"Niklaus you will deal with Camille now. She is our friend and I know you care deeply for her. Do not use the Strix as a method to push these feelings aside. You wanted her to choose to live, and she has. Now find her and bring her home," Elijah replied coolly.

"What did I miss about Cami?" Hayley said as she entered the room. Both heads whipped around to face her both looking equally stunned.

"Hayley," Klaus said. "I'm glad to see you're up. We were just discussing how thoughtful it was of Aurora to compel Camille to drink her blood and slit her throat the other night. It was quite a lovely surprise when I woke up."

Hayley was stunned. So that's how she was able to trap Tristan.

"So she fed? She's a vampire now?" Hayley asked bewildered.

"That would be correct. And she seems to be enjoying herself a little too much at the moment which is why my dear brother was just going out to find her," Elijah said. Klaus glared at him, but a slow smirk grew on his face that Hayley knew meant trouble.

"I see. I'll leave you and the little wolf alone seeing as now the only obstacle standing in your way of her is now gone."

Elijah took a step ready to snap his insufferable younger brother's neck, but Hayley had already pinned him up against the wall with her arm across his throat. Klaus grinned at her ferocity and made no movement to escape from her.

"I have put up with a lot of shit from you Klaus, but you will not make a joke out of Jack's death. He was a good man and protected this family like it was his own," Hayley growled.

"I only wished to say what you would not admit to yourself. The only thing keeping you from being with your dear Elijah is gone. You may have loved the wolf, but you know deep in your heart that you were never in love with him. All the lies you've been telling yourself can cease, and we can all be one big, happy family."

Hayley's grip slackened slightly out of pure shock about the words coming out of his mouth and Klaus took the opportunity to swat her arm away. He looked at Elijah whose jaw was clenched so tightly it looked like it was made of stone.

"Now you two have a fair bit to discuss and I have a bloodthirsty vampire to go find. Let's hope someone has a good day today," Klaus said before exiting the room with a familiar whoosh of air.

The atmosphere immediately became tense. Neither Elijah nor Hayley made a sound for a moment and they just stared at each other. Elijah studied the bags under her eyes and Hayley looked at the concerned look on his face that made her want to run.

"Please stop looking at me like that," Hayley said softly. Elijah's eyebrows rose slightly and his mouth opened, but he quickly shut it.

"Forgive me. I know you do not wish for me to pity you, but I must offer my sincerest apologies. He was an honorable man that will not be forgotten," Elijah said. Hayley's eyes watered and she nodded in thanks. It was scary how well Elijah knew her. He knew just what to say to her when she needed to hear it.

"Thank you," she said. Fearing that the conversation was about to get worse, Hayley walked over to the bottles of alcohol and poured two drinks. Elijah watched her intently as she walked towards him with a glass held out in front of her. He took the glass from her and couldn't help but notice the electricity he felt when her fingers brushed his. However, that feeling was inappropriate at the moment and possibly could be for quite a while.

"I don't remember if I thanked you or not for last night, but I'll say it again. Thank you for helping me, Elijah. I was a mess," Hayley admitted. He only nodded back to her, but she saw his lips twitch.

"I did not think you were a mess. I only thought you were tired of holding it together and needed to let go," Elijah replied before sipping his drink. Hayley ran a hand through her tangled hair and sighed.

"I don't like letting go. I don't like people seeing me like that. It makes me feel weak."

"Only the strongest of people let their walls down like that, Hayley. I like to think that's what gives us our last shred of humanity."

She pondered the statement. Was she strong for being able to show her emotions? She thought that he had probably said it just to make her feel better, but there was some truth to it as well. There was a silence again for a few minutes before Hayley sat on the couch. She swirled the drink in her glass and stared out the window for a long time before she spoke again.

"I'm so angry. Is it right to be more angry than sad?" Hayley whispered.

"There is no right feeling in this situation, Hayley. You feel what you feel," Elijah said.

"Oh, come on, Elijah. Can you give me a straight answer for once instead of your metaphorical bullshit? Tell me that no, I should be crying in bed right now instead of fantasizing about finding that damn crate we locked Tristan in and ripping his head off."

"I'd like to think my metaphorical bullshit is rather clever, but I'm sorry you disagree," Elijah replied. He grinned at her, but when she tilted her head and glared at him, he sighed.

"Hayley, you are not one to sit around and cry, so I will not tell you to do so. However, the second option is not exactly an available option. I can, if I may, only offer advice from past experiences to you?" Elijah asked. Hayley knew that he was about to divulge into a tail of losing Celeste or perhaps any of the other loves of his life. Though she knew that Celeste and Katherine were the only two he had ever truly loved, it scared her to think about anyone else in his past.

"Do not let the anger take over. Do not choose the path that my brother and I have chosen more times than I would like to admit. Remember him and cry, laugh, and smile because you knew him and… loved him."

Hayley's heart was pounding at a speed she had only experienced when she was with Elijah. And she hated it. She hated that while she should be mourning the death of her husband—her husband—here she was in the presence of another man who made her feel things she shouldn't be feeling. Worst of all, Klaus had been right. Jack was gone now, the pack would forever have the traits that she possessed regardless of Jack's death, and she was officially a widow. There was nothing standing in the way of her and Elijah and she was disgusted with herself for even thinking about it right now.

"You know, when I first married him, I didn't love him. I eventually learned to feel something for him, but I was never in love with him. He was sweet and protective and good-hearted and selfless… and he loved me even when I didn't love him back. And I know that this must be some punishment for something I've done because now he's gone. His entire life was spent being in love with me, and I never even felt a fraction of what he felt for me. And now here I am with you and I feel everything I was trying so hard to find for a year."

Elijah looked stunned at her last statement. Whatever expression that had been on his face completely dropped. But Hayley didn't stop talking. Even when the tears started threatening to fall again, she powered through the thoughts in her head because if she didn't say this now, she never would.

"The worst part of this is that Klaus is right. What you and I have, or had, is something I never felt with Jack, and as hard as I tried to feel it, I just couldn't. But he's gone now and I hate myself for feeling the tiniest bit of relief in not having to pretend anymore. I loved him like he was family, but God he couldn't make me feel what I know being in love is supposed to feel like."

"Hayley we don't have to discuss this now…" Elijah began, but Hayley cut him off sharply.

"It doesn't matter when we discuss it, Elijah! This—whatever this is—is only going to get worse. I'm going to have to see you and constantly deny what I feel for you and constantly deny the guilt that's eating away at me for being able to move on so quickly. Do you see how unfair that is to him?" Hayley gasped. Elijah stood motionless and expressionless by the window. She waited for any kind of reply, but when it didn't come she lost it. Hayley threw her glass into the wall out of frustration.

"Don't you have anything to say? You waited for months and said nothing about how you felt about me until it was my fucking wedding day! Are we doing this again?"

"Hayley, I was not going to be the type of man to swoop in as soon as you were available. I will not be who my brother suggests I should be!" Elijah growled.

"Then when, Elijah? When is the right time? A week from now? A month? A year? Hell, maybe you should wait until I find someone else and you can tell me then that you love me!" Hayley yelled. She knew she was being harsh and that he really didn't deserve this, but she couldn't stop the avalanche of words that were coming out of her mouth.

Elijah rushed towards her and pinned her arms above her head against the wall. His face was mere inches from her and she could feel his breath against her skin. His eyes were piercing her own like daggers and she could see the slight outline of the dark veins under his eyes. This was the version of Elijah that was capable of murdering a hundred men in ten minutes, yet she felt safer than anything with his body so close to her.

"I understand you are upset but do not do that. I have lived with and tamed those demons for a year now, and I will not make the same mistake again," he whispered. Hayley felt his grip slacken and she closed her eyes. When she felt him release her, she opened her eyes and was surprised to find him still so close to her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry I know how much it hurt you. I didn't… I never wanted…" She soon felt arms envelope her and Elijah's scent overpowered her. She cried into his shoulder and clutched on to him for dear life. She wasn't even embarrassed when the ugly, choking sobs came out and felt as though she could melt into a puddle of tears. Elijah was a solid, warm wall that wasn't letting go.

Eventually the tears stopped flowing, but Hayley still kept her face pressed into his shoulder. She didn't exactly know what she was going to say to him when she backed away, and she quite enjoyed the comforting circles he was rubbing on her back. However, she couldn't make him stay like this forever, and her legs were shaking. When she pulled away, she found Elijah already had his signature handkerchief in hand and that famous ghost smile was plastered on his face. She wiped her eyes gratefully and sat down. Elijah sat on the table across from her and offered her a glass of water that he seemingly had procured out of thin air.

"Perhaps enough with the bourbon for now?" he said lightheartedly. Hayley let out an exhausted chuckle, but smiled nonetheless.

"I think that would be wise," she said roughly. She took a sip of water to clear her throat and looked up at Elijah. She noticed how tired he looked and how he hadn't shaved in a few days. His eyes studied her as well, but she didn't find it uncomfortable. It felt almost natural, and it scared her.

"He asked about you three times that I can remember," Hayley began. Elijah's face looked surprised, but he remained silent. "First, was before we got married. I told him we had… been together and he asked me if I loved you. Even though I didn't answer, he knew… and he married me anyhow. The next time was before Thanksgiving. He asked me to stop coming over here to help you fight your battles, and when I said I couldn't, he left. When I went to go try and make him come home, he asked me again if I loved you."

Elijah looked at her with glassy eyes and Hayley couldn't stop the tears that gathered as a result of his expression.

"I told him he knew when he married me how I felt about you. It had been a year. In that year, I chose you three times and he still stood by me. Every. Single. Time," she whispered. "Who am I to deserve that type of unconditional love?"

"You are the most deserving of love out of anyone I know. You have fought for it your entire life, and you have received it. You are loved by your daughter. You are loved by this family. You were and forever will be loved by Jackson," Elijah replied. Hayley looked at him and smiled, but couldn't help but notice he was missing someone.

"What about by you?"