Love, huh?

Love is what I heard the first time Tony sang about Maria in "West Side Story". I was young, barely old enough to watch what could be called - in that era - an "on screen death" without one - sometimes both - of my fathers shielding my eyes. It was wonderful and tragic, something a child wouldn't be able to remotely understand and something most adults only have an inkling of. I hummed songs like "Tonight" and "I Feel Pretty" for months upon months while the other little girls gave me strange looks, some going as far as pointing and whispering. I couldn't hear their laughter though; I was too busy falling in love with, well…love. Or the idea of love, I suppose.

Love is what I saw as Jerry and Dale glided across a dance floor effortlessly, cheek to cheek in "Top Hat". I was older by that time, not by much, but enough to understand what chemistry was. I knew nothing of chemicals and how they could be mixed but I could tell - at least on screen - when two personalities melded perfectly together. It was only months later that I first witnessed the complexity of a love triangle as Fred Astaire and Bing Crosby sang and danced around Marjorie Reynolds to win her heart through the entirety of "Holiday Inn". To hear the melancholy in Bing's voice as he first sings "White Christmas", I couldn't really describe it. I listened to that song over and over that December. There, in fact, was no snow that entire holiday season.

Yes, it'd be pretty much right on the nose to say I loved all of these moments. Then again, those were only movies, and I was only a little girl. Those reels have turned my age several times over. The songs aren't nearly as clear and crisp as his voice in my ear during rehearsal. Watching those timeless stars elegantly waltz around each other isn't nearly as captivating as dancing in step with him on that stage. No classic song's ever been more heartbreaking than the one I sang for him when he couldn't hear me. Although it most likely doesn't look that way from the outside, I feel there has never been a triangle more complex than the one we now reside in. To you, the outsider, it must be very much the clichéd high school romance, something you've probably witnessed more than any song or dance I've seen on screen.

A musical is merely a story, similar to many others. I guess you could say that's what this is, this triangle. It's a story. My life, the musical. Laughable, right? You wouldn't be the first to think so.

I may not be Maria and he may not be Tony, but does that really make our songs any less wonderful or tragic?

Love can be a terrifying term when comparing the two, their story and ours. I may have liked the idea of it as a child, yet circumstances have twisted it into just another word, no more important than any other. These amazing films have taught me otherwise. Yes, it's a word, but also an idea, a feeling, as breathtaking as a song inspired by it. I have my entire life to live up to it, at least until the curtain closes. Until then, we'll just have to wait for the band to start back up again and see where they lead us.