Pursky Reviews

Gravity Falls M – Oneshot


Ahhh. Gravity Falls. A show that has something for everyone. In case you don't know Gravity Falls it's a cartoon made by writer and voice actor Alex Hirsch. It is very creative, smart, funny and just very enjoyable to watch. You probably heard about it before. As the popular show it is, it obviously has a big fandom and that means lots of fanfiction. I'm a big fan myself and I got to admit some of these fanfictions are really good but that's not what were gonna read today. I'm talking about oneshots. Or at least kind of. Oneshots are small fanfictions that have no sequels or more than one chapter and they're usually not longer than 3000 Words. Some of them are rated M (Mature 17+). These M rated Oneshots… Well you could call them pornography just written down. And many of them are painful to read. But I will fight this pain! I'll take the challenge! I'll review this, I'll fight and I'll win! So what are we waiting for? Let's do it!


Dipper's Breast

By Bloomrose

Words: 608


I guess I won't need to explain why I chose this one first. It's freaking called "Dipper's Breast"! How can that not make you curious!

It was a peaceful night in Gravity falls.

Whenever a fic starts off with a sentence like "It was a peaceful night" or "It was normal day" it's a warning. It means stop reading!

Dipper and Mabel were sleeping soundly when suddenly, a big crash was heard.

Oh no, it's Stan's Doomsday Device!

"Wah, huh?" Dipper said, as he woke up from the crash "Silence." Said a huge horrible mythical creature that was bird shaped. Dipper was just awoken by a giant magic harpy.

This almost starts off like a real Gravity Falls Episode.

"What do you want from me?! Just don't hurt my sister!" Dipper said as he turned to his sister who was still sound asleep and was completely unaware about the giant harpy in the middle of their room.

I think my reaction to this would have been like, WHAT THE FU*K?!

"Dipper Pines, you have been summoned by the harpy gods," The harpy said. "You have 2 options. 1, you can be our sacrifice and battle a thousand sirens or 2 you will have 3 breasts.

…Huh?
So the punishment for not obeying the Harpy Gods is… 3 Breasts? I think someone in Harpy Council said that as a joke. Or are 3 Breasts just something horrible for harpies?

Dipper, the perverted awkward 12 year old twin boy smirked. He always wanted to know how it's liked to have breasts.

I can understand why perverted awkward pre-teens want breasts but I thought they didn't want to actually HAVE them. Also, 3 Breasts? So why is this story called Dipper's BREAST. Was the Author too lazy for another S!/

"I WANT THREE BREASTS!" Dipper howled at the harpy. The harpy used it's wings and flapped them around and blew Dipper into a dark hole.

So dark hole was an option too? I bet Dipper feels pretty deceived right now.

All of a sudden Dipper awoken again. Dipper looked down at his chest, and poof three breasts appeared.

Ah, so there they are! Did they just appear the exact moment he woke up? Why didn't he get them earlier?

He smirked a whole bunch and as a pervert he was he grabbed those boobs and squeezed them as hard as he could.

Ouch!

He howled a little trying not to wake up his sleeping sister. He felt a rush bulging in his pants. He had a huge erection in his shorts.

Being attracted to boobs? Ok! Being attracted to your own boobs? Hmm…

He grabbed his erection and zipped his fly down, and he masturbated with his other hand. He never felt so good, it was better than the first time he met Wendy.

Masturbating in the room where your sister is. Perfect! Also "better than the first time he met Wendy"? I don't remember Dipper masturbating the first time he met Wendy. No wonder she's not into him. That must have been horrifying!

Just then a fountain of cum bursted out of his cock.

Your gonna clean that up right?

"Oaha." He moaned, it felt so good to have breasts.

"Oaha" Interesting Orgasm sound.

Later that day he tried to hide his breasts from being seen by his sister, Soos and Stan so he put a pillow in his shirt.

How does that help? It looks even stranger!

"Dipper, have you been working out?" Stan asked. "Yeah, why so buff, cream puff? Haha." Mabel joked.

Mabel's Jokes! Can't get enough of them.

Dipper awkwardly giggled then said, "Well I want to have muscles kinda, so, how do they look?" He started flexing. Stan and Mabel were dumbfounded, but then they just laughed.

And I know why. A pillow in your shirt just doesn't make you muscular. It makes you ridiculous. Especially when you're a boy with 3 breasts!

"Haha, Dipper this must be a joke. You're just so puny." Mabel giggled. "Yeah, what are you hiding under there, pillows?" Stan laughed.

Yes! That is indeed true!

Mabel and Stan were hysterical. Dipper stomped away. He went to the bathroom and took away the pillow from his chest and he saw that his boobs grew 10 sizes.

Holy Shit! A few inches more and you'll need a wheelchair!

He then suckled on his feminine nipples. Then he masturbated again. This time his cum shot up to his boobs and covered them with cum. He licked it off his boobs.

I neither can nor want to comment on this! *shiver*

He then went to the sink to wash up. Then he placed the pillow inside his shirt. "Hmm, this pillows too big," Dipper said. "Maybe I could stuff my vest in my shirt instead."

The pillow wasn't too big when his breasts were ten times smaller! How does that make sense?!

He took his vest off and put it inside his shirt. He then went to his room to read the number 3 journal, but then he felt something growing in his chest. His breasts grew more and ripped his shirt.

Now things are getting REALLY out of hand. You should probably go to a hospital.

He then borrowed one of Mabel's sweaters and stuffed his vest inside.

I wonder what Mable thought when Dipper came up to her with three k cup boobs and a ripped shirt and asked for a sweater!

But his plan failed as his breasts grew bigger and bigger and bigger. He couldn't scream for help because his breasts made him suffocate somehow.

Don't worry he just can't scream because he's terrified and disturbed.

Then POP! A bunch of Dipper's guts plopped all over the room. Dipper was dead.

And the moral of the story, don't have breasts. Or they're gonna grow and grow until you explode and die!

The Harpy then soon appeared into the room and looked at Dipper's dead flesh. "He should've battled the sirens." The harpy said.

Thank you very much! Just for your information, I would have taken the sirens.


So that's it! What the hell! This fanficion is so odd and still short that I have barely anything to complain about. There's really not much to say about it, except for: Take the sirens. Not the Boobs.