Midgar High
A Final Fantasy VII fanfic by Raberba girl
Author's Note: I would like to give credit to the author(s?) of the fanfics I read years ago, in which the Gundam Wing characters went through several different high school classes.
Also, the actual play has been altered to conform to FFdotNet's (very silly) anti-script rule. If you are interested in reading the original version, which I prefer, please go to my profile page and check my Web site.
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"The bell has rung! Everyone sit down and be QUIET!" the teacher roared. She was fed up with being nice to this particular class.
"Everyone shut up," Barret ordered, and fired into the ceiling to get everyone's attention.
"Barret, I told you you'd be suspended if you kept bringing guns to school," the teacher threatened.
Reno quickly tossed his own gun out the window when the teacher wasn't looking. "I forgot!" he whispered in response to Rude's disapproving look.
"But Ms. Taft, I have to bring a gun to school - it's attached to my arm," Barret protested.
"Then don't use it," Ms. Taft snapped. "All right, now who's here...?" She started to count heads, then paused. "Vincent, this is not kindergarten. We do not have nap time."
Vincent slowly raised his head from his desk and looked blearily at the teacher.
"But Ms. Taft, he's nocturnal," Tifa spoke up. "He does everything at night and sleeps during the day."
"That is no excuse. In my experience, all teenagers are nocturnal." Ms. Taft frowned as she glanced from her list to the classroom. "Where is-- Miss Kisaragi! Out of my supply closet, NOW!"
Yuffie guiltily ducked back into sight. "Just looking for extra paper," she lied.
Ms. Taft held out her hand sternly. "Empty your pockets." Yuffie sulkily handed over the supplies she had nicked, and slunk back to her seat. Ms. Taft sighed and got back to business. "All right, so everyone's here except for Cid. Has anyone seen him?"
"He's sick," Cloud announced, at the same time Sephiroth grinned and drawled, "He's out smoking behind the gym." The two glared at each other from across the room.
'If looks could kill...' Ms. Taft thought in exasperation. "Either way," she said out loud, "I'm marking him absent if he doesn't show up in the next five--"
The door burst open. "Sorry I'm late, my plane broke down on the way to school," Cid said breezily.
"Take a seat," Ms. Taft snapped. "And allow me to remind you that it's in-school suspension if you're caught smoking."
"But I wasn't--!"
"I can smell it, now sit down." Ms. Taft blew out a breath. "All right, everyone pass your homework forward and we'll get started."
"We had homework?" Reno exclaimed.
"I faxed my assignment to you this morning," Rude informed her.
"Fine," Ms. Taft replied. She rifled through the collected papers. "Barret, what is this?" She held up a bullet-riddled worksheet.
"I was frustrated," Barret answered defensively. "Sometimes I lose control, y'know?" He waved his gun-arm.
Ms. Taft sighed. "Red, where's your homework?"
"I can't hold a pencil, remember?" The big cat-like creature held up his front paws. "I recorded my answers on an audiodisc and put it in your box in the front office."
'I will never get used to having animals for students,' Ms. Taft thought. "What about you, Yuffie?"
"The cats ate it," Yuffie said hopefully.
"A likely story. Sephiroth?"
"I was busy," the silver-haired boy said nonchalantly.
"And what, may I ask, was more important than getting your work done for me?"
"I was advancing my plans to take over the planet."
"Humph. These days, you won't get very far without an education," Ms. Taft grumbled. "And Cid? What's your excuse?"
"Got it right here," Cid said proudly, pulling out his homework with a flourish.
Ms. Taft surveyed his worksheet in disgust. "This isn't your handwriting!"
"It is so!" Cid said indignantly.
"Oh, so you make it a habit to dot all your 'i's with tiny hearts?"
"What?!" Cid snatched the paper back and stared at it in horror. Then he turned to Aeris and roared, "What were you thinking?"
"Yes, I would like to know the same thing," Ms. Taft said icily.
Aeris shrank back. "I-I'm sorry for doing his work for him, but I couldn't say no," she said to Ms. Taft. "He looked so desperate."
Sephiroth snickered, and Cid shot him the finger. Sephiroth pulled out his sword, but Ms. Taft confiscated it before he could retaliate.
"Woman," Sephiroth said coldly, "when the planet is mine, you shall be the first to succumb to the new order."
"Sephiroth, I doubt if you will be able to take over the planet while you are stuck in detention," Ms. Taft shot back. "Now, if you all don't mind, we shall begin class."
"When's lunch?" Reno called.
"Reno!" Ms. Taft exclaimed. "This is second period! Lunch isn't for at least two more hours."
"Aww," Reno whined. "I'm so hungry I could eat the cat."
Cait Sith hissed and climbed onto Aeris's head.
"No," Ms. Taft said. "I think I'll have you put that mouth to better use. You will begin reading aloud for the class."
"What?! Aw, miss!"
"Yeah, and I think you should make Rude read, too," Yuffie laughed. "He needs to practice using his voice, if he has one."
"Don't worry, Yuffie, everyone will get a turn - including you."
The girl responded with a pout.
Reno rifled through the textbook to find the right page, and Ms. Taft winced as he left some nasty creases. "Miss, I don't know what this word is."
Ms. Taft checked. "Inchmeal. Look at the footnotes, it means 'inch by inch.'"
"Okay. By inchmeal a disease! His spirits hear me, And yet I needs must curse. Man, that has to be a typo." Reno stumbled through a page before Ms. Taft finally cut him off. "All right, Reno, that will do. I don't think I can take anymore Shakespeare butchering. Red, will you read next?"
Red XIII cleared his throat and began, doing pretty well. Ms. Taft watched him as he read, marveling that her best student had fur and four legs. "Barret, your turn," she said after a while.
The boy started guiltily, and Ms. Taft realized that he had been exchanging notes with Cloud and Tifa. She stormed over to them. "What is this?" She had unfolded the paper to see a hand-drawn building map and a list of numbers on the side.
"Blueprints for a clubhouse," Tifa said, at the same time Cloud answered, "Plans for our next mission." Tifa elbowed him, and Barret whispered, "It's supposed to be a secret mission, #$!"
"Barret! Lose the language!" Ms. Taft ordered. She crumpled the map and threw it in the trash can. She did not notice Yuffie fish it back out again as she kept speaking. "Whatever 'AVALANCHE Team A' means, it can wait. Kindly pick up where Red XIII left off."
"Uh...." Barret squinted at the book. "Hey fool, if you're Trinculo, get your #$ out here. Dude, you are Trinculo! What the %#$ you doin' with this guy?"
"That's not what it says!" Mrs. Taft interrupted.
"Yeah, it does! Right here in #*&ing black an' white!"
"Language, Barret!" Ms. Taft waved a detention slip threateningly, then asked Sephiroth to continue.
"This Prospero fellow is interesting," Sephiroth commented as he scanned down the page. "I must learn his particular brand of magic. I'm sure it will prove useful."
"As if having black materia and control of a powerful alien life-form isn't enough!" Cait Sith squeaked.
Sephiroth did not deign to answer, choosing instead to begin reading. "...Admired Miranda! Indeed the top of admiration, worth What's dearest to the world! Full many a lady I have eyed with best regard, and many a time Th' harmony of their tongues hath into bondage Brought my too diligent ear...."
He was an exceptional reader. Ms. Taft sat spellbound, Yuffie stopped fidgeting, and even Cloud lost his usual stony look as the class listened in silence.
The dismissal bell's shrill ringing broke the spell.
"Yahoo!" Yuffie crowed. She dashed out of the room, as Red XIII picked up his bookbag in his mouth and loped out with Cait Sith on his back.
Vincent swirled himself into a formless red mass and flowed out through the air conditioning vent. Barret was about to shoot his way through the wall before Ms. Taft stopped him. Sephiroth sprouted a single wing and sailed off. Reno and Rude stepped up to the open window, shot lengths of cord to the next building, and swung away, Mission Impossible-style. Everyone else left the normal way.
At lunch, Cloud had already gotten his tray and was about to pay for it before he realized his wallet was missing. "Yuffie!" he bellowed out over the noisy cafeteria. He reached up to catch his wallet as it came sailing over everyone's heads.
"I'll pay you back!" Yuffie called from where she was already sitting with the rest of the group.
Cait Sith made a face as he poked at the hamburger on his tray. "How come this place never serves fish? Fish, is that so hard to get? They don't even have decent cat food at least!"
"We ought to sue for discrimination against non-human students," Red grumbled. He nosed distastefully at the mashed potatoes on his own tray.
Tifa watched as Vincent carefully opened his lunchbox and pulled out a water bottle filled with red liquid. She shuddered and decided not to ask.
Soon after all nine of them began to eat, Reno and Rude sauntered up. "Hey guys, how's it going?" Reno said cheerfully.
"Beat it," Yuffie said at once.
"Yeah, we don't want no Shinra here," Barret growled.
"What do you want?" Cloud asked guardedly.
"Oh...nothin' much, just to say hi," Reno said unconvincingly.
"......." (that was Rude).
"Let me guess, you want to bum money," Tifa snorted.
"Oh, you poor boys don't have lunch," Aeris realized.
"Hey! Who said anything about that?!"
"......."
"Want some?" Vincent offered, holding up his drink.
"......" was Rude's reply, and Reno looked creeped out. "No way."
Red XIII contemptuously flicked over his loose change, and Aeris handed them a few bills.
"Thanks, it's not every day a pretty girl randomly gives us money," Reno grinned.
"Oh, stop pretending and go eat," Tifa ordered.
"Now what's he up to?" Cid wondered. Everyone followed his gaze to see Sephiroth at an empty table. His eyes were closed, his hair was drifting slightly in the air, and his whole body was glowing.
"I can feel it!" Aeris gasped. "He's absorbing Mako energy from the Lifestream!"
"Ugh!" Cait Sith exclaimed.
"Interesting lunch," Vincent remarked with distaste.
Sephiroth seemed to feel the gazes on him, and he looked up. He frowned. Before anyone realized he had disappeared, he reappeared floating right over their table.
"Yeow!" Cait Sith tumbled backward in surprise.
Cloud jumped to his feet, pulling out his buster sword. "What the big idea, Sephiroth?" he challenged.
"I do not appreciate being stared at while I feed," he answered coldly. "Do not challenge me, little would-be SOLDIER." He slowly drew his own sword.
"Ooh!" kids yelled as they began to notice. "Fight, fight, fight, fight!" Reno and Rude nodded to each other and slipped away as Sephiroth and Cloud, each with drawn weapons, faced each other in the middle of a growing ring of chanting kids.
"Oh, please don't let Cloud get hurt!" Aeris prayed as she watched.
At that moment, the bell rang.
"Hey, you're pretty good," Barret said appreciatively. Everyone began to disperse. Sephiroth and Cloud glared at each other for a few more moments before they finally sheathed their weapons. Sephiroth turned and ambled away as if Cloud's group was beneath his notice.
The last period of the day was drama.
"Class, I have an announcement!" the teacher exclaimed. "Today we are going to hold auditions for our end-of-the-year play!" There was mixed groaning and cheering. "We are going to put on an adaptation of 'Sleeping Beauty.' First off, let's see who will play our leading lady, the princess." By the end of the class period, the drama teacher had written this on the chalkboard:
Princess - Sephiroth
Prince - Cloud
Wicked Fairy - Yuffie
Three Good Fairies - Tifa, Reno, Cid
King and Queen - Rude and Aeris
Prince's Noble Steed - Red XIII
Woodland Animals - Cait Sith
Costumes - Vincent
Set and Props - Barret, Biggs, Wedge
"The rest of the class will be in charge of things like lighting, music, and so on."
"This sucks!" Reno yelled.
"Ain't no way!" Cid cried wrathfully.
"Whoo hoo, this'll be fun," Yuffie said gleefully.
"......." was Rude's reaction.
"I am getting real fed up with this whole animal thing," Red XIII said firmly.
Cloud pointed a shaking finger at Sephiroth. "I - am - NOT - kissing you," he said in a voice choked with horror.
"Oh, too bad," Sephiroth returned coolly.
"What do you mean, I'd be great at costumes?" Vincent asked in confusion.
The female classmate who had been talking to him giggled. "Well, the one you're wearing now is the coolest!"
Vincent looked down at his clothes, wondering why she thought they were a costume.
o.o.o.o.o
After several weeks and much hard work, the students of the Midgar High School drama class were ready to put on their production. The small auditorium was full, with several proud parents filling the front row. Elmyra leaned toward the man next to her. "My daughter is playing the queen," she said with a smile. "Which one is yours?"
"My girl's the evil fairy," Godo answered with a pleased grin, tapping his program. The two of them looked over to the sleazy-looking man on Elmyra's other side. "What about you?"
"Heh heh heh," Professor Hojo cackled. "A princess is the ultimate specimen of perfection. In this instance we have succeeded, have we not, my dear Jenova?" The slimy, tentacled thing towering in the seat next to him emitted a disturbing sound. Elmyra decided that her own seat was uncomfortable, and she hurriedly got up to look for another one.
Finally, the curtain rose to reveal a bullet-ridden castle throne room. Vincent came out and took his place to read the narration.
"Once upon a time," he began, "there was a king and queen who dearly wished to have a child. At last their wish was granted, and people from all over the land have gathered to celebrate the birth of the new princess."
The king and queen walked out and stood before their thrones, draped in shreds of red cloth. The queen held a blanket-wrapped baby-doll in her arms.
"How long we have waited for this day!" she said. She turned to the king. "Dear, um, husband, look upon your first and only child."
Rude simply stared at her as if to say, "Are you kidding?"
"Um...and now," she continued, trying to keep her voice bright, "we will welcome our guests of honor, the three good fairies!"
The first fairy stomped in and planted himself before the king and queen with crossed arms, scowling heavily. The second fairy also ambled in, pelting the extras and the audience with glitter. Both of them had red ribbons tied to their arms and stick-on wings; otherwise they were dressed in their usual outfits.
Then the third fairy wafted in, a picture of loveliness, having taken matters into her own hands and prepared her own costume. She bowed before the royal couple. "Good king and queen, we have come with magical gifts for the newborn princess."
Fairy-Reno grinned. "Heh. Looking good, Rude."
"Same to you."
"Thanks!" Then he paused. "Wait a minute...."
Fairy-Tifa cleared her throat. "Our eldest sister bestows the gift of beauty," she said with a pointed look at Fairy-Cid.
Cid simply GLARED.
"Oh...thank you..." the queen said faintly, and hugged the baby tighter.
Fairy-Reno bowed with a flourish. "I, the fabulous second fairy, offer this as a token of my respect." Grinning mischievously, he whipped out a gun and twirled it on one finger.
The audience gasped in shock.
Fairy-Tifa said hastily, "He's joking, your majesties! The second gift is that of song - the princess shall have a lovely voice." She elbowed Fairy-Reno hard, and the gun was knocked out of his hand.
"Hey!" he exclaimed indignantly. "That was expensive."
The king cleared his throat meaningfully.
"Grr," Fairy-Reno complained.
Fairy-Tifa spoke up again. "My gift is the last, and the best."
"Who says?" Fairy-Reno wanted to know.
Fairy-Tifa glared at him, then turned back to the royal couple. "I offer the gift of--"
A voice offstage suddenly cackled. "Hee hee hee hee!"
The king, queen, and Fairy-Tifa whirled around and gasped in horror. Fairy-Reno gave a mocking salute, and Fairy-Cid rolled his eyes.
"It looks like you've forgotten an invitation, royal toads!" the offstage voice continued. The wicked fairy leaped out. A few moments later, there was a big poof of black smoke.
The wicked fairy looked up with an annoyed expression. "You idiots! How can you get the timing right during rehearsal and mess up on the real thing?" Then she shrieked and ducked out of the way as a spatter of bullets suddenly rained down.
"Yeow!" Fairy-Reno yelped.
"Cut it out!" Fairy-Tifa yelled. "You trying to get us killed?!"
Barret's voice came from somewhere above. "Sorry...forgot you were down there, too."
The queen said hastily, "Oh dear, I am so sorry, Wicked Fairy! Your invitation must have gotten lost in the mail somewhere."
The wicked fairy sniffed. "Well, now that I'm here, I'd better give a gift, too!" She waved her wand around. "Ta da! Your baby will cut her finger and die on her sixteenth birthday! So long!"
There was another poof of black smoke. It cleared to reveal the wicked fairy coughing, then realizing that she could be seen and hurrying off-stage.
"Oh no!" the queen cried. "This is horrible!"
"I'll say it is," the king said in disgust.
Fairy-Reno laughed. "'It' being the fairy's curse or the play?"
Fairy-Tifa elbowed him again. "Don't despair, your majesties," she said to the king and queen. "I have yet to give my gift."
"Then get on with it!" Fairy-Cid said impatiently. "These wings itch." He reached up to scratch at his back.
"When she cuts her finger," Fairy-Tifa continued, "the princess will not die, but only fall asleep until she is awakened by the kiss of her true love."
Fairy-Reno frowned and asked, "Why don't you just reverse Yuffie's spell, and not bother with the whole falling-asleep thing?"
Fairy-Tifa glared. "Because my magic's not as strong as the wicked fairy's."
"Sheesh," Fairy-Reno scoffed, "if that's all it is, I can fix you up with some good materia--"
The king cleared his throat and gave the fairy a significant look.
"Right then, scene change!" Fairy-Reno said brightly.
The curtain closed, and Vincent picked up the narration again. "The king and queen abolished all sharp objects, in hopes that the curse would never come true. Sixteen years passed, and the princess grew up."
The curtain rose to reveal the teenage princess in all his icy glory. (No, he was not wearing a dress, just a flowy robe-thing. Shredded, of course.) His entrance was accompanied by a burst of music from the speakers, music that would not be out of place in an epic battle to save the world.
"Estuans interius ira vehementi...."
Barret's voice could be heard cussing. "That's the wrong song, you idiots!"
There was a minute of scrambling, and the audiodisc was replaced with a cheerful, romantic theme.
"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream...."
Sleeping Beauty said in a monotone, "Where are all my woodland friends."
Lots of black and white robot cats came dancing out, squeaking along with the song. Sleeping Beauty regarded them coldly.
One of the woodland animals spoke up nervously. "P-Princess! You're looking...lovely today."
Sleeping Beauty eyed it coldly.
The woodland animal continued, looking more terrified than ever. "We, um, we have seen a...handsome stranger...on a horse...riding-- I can't take it anymore!" it suddenly shrieked. "The eyes, the eyes are burning me!" The woodland animals fled offstage.
Sleeping Beauty turned and stalked off as well. Then the prince entered, astride his noble steed.
"This is so demeaning," the horse muttered. "I'm filing a complaint."
An extra dressed in a shredded red uniform came onstage. "Hey!" the soldier exclaimed when he saw the prince. "No pointy objects are allowed in this kingdom! You're under arrest."
The prince climbed off his horse, pulled the huge sword off his back, and went after the soldier.
"Hey, that's not a prop!" the soldier cried. "Eep! Get away from me!" He ran away. The victorious prince twirled his sword and slung it onto his back again.
"Watch it!" the horse snapped, backing away. "You almost sliced my nose off!"
"Sorry," the prince muttered. There was a long pause. Finally the prince said awkwardly, "Um...horse...do you hear that singing?"
"There is no one singing," the horse pointed out.
"But...it's in the script."
"Well, if we pretend Sephiroth is cooperating, then yes, I hear it too."
"I wonder who it is," the prince said, not looking curious at all.
Sleeping Beauty stalked back onstage. The prince whipped the sword off his back again, and Sleeping Beauty pulled out his own weapon. They attacked each other immediately, causing the horse to flee the stage.
"Oooh! Aaah!" the audience exclaimed breathlessly. Eventually, Vincent, Barret, Fairy-Tifa, and the king came out to forcibly separate the two.
"This isn't over yet, Sephiroth!" the prince cried.
"For goodness' sake," Fairy-Tifa said in exasperation, "this is supposed to be a love scene!"
Sleeping Beauty smiled wickedly. "In that case, I truly love to make you suffer, little prince."
"And I'd love to make you disappear for good!" the prince shot back.
Sleeping Beauty shook his head. "Fool. I have too many fans for that."
"Grr!"
"Just let it go, Cloud!" Barret urged.
Exasperated, Fairy-Tifa turned to the narrator. "Vincent, go pull the curtain."
In the next scene, Sleeping Beauty lay gracefully across the floor, his long hair elegantly spread. The wicked fairy was standing over him.
"Hee hee hee!" she cackled. "What royal fools, to think they could prevent my curse from coming to pass! You shall never awaken, princess! I will plant a hedge of thorns around your castle so that NO ONE can find their way in!" She gave Sleeping Beauty a vicious kick and started to head offstage.
Without bothering to open his eyes, Sleeping Beauty raised his arm and aimed a bolt of magic at her. It hit a Wall spell and did little more than cause her to stumble.
"Hah!" the wicked fairy laughed, a pleased expression on her face. "Always be prepared, that's my motto!"
Sleeping Beauty looked annoyed. "Oh really. I thought it was 'Steal anything that stays still long enough.'"
The wicked fairy stuck her tongue out at him and swept offstage.
In the next scene, the prince stood in a face-off with the wicked fairy. "You'll never get through, princey!" she declared.
Agonized, the prince struggled to get through his next line. "That's my...my true l-- my true--"
"Your true love?" the wicked fairy supplied helpfully.
The prince covered his face in shame.
"Hee hee hee!" she cackled. "You'll never see your true love again!"
"If only it were true..." the prince sighed.
"Shut up, you're ruining the play. You'll never see your true love again - and it's all your fault for bringing a sharp item into the kingdom in the first place! Oh, the delicious irony!" She started to sweep offstage again. The prince suddenly caught her wrist, firmly extracted his wallet from her hand, and stuck it back in his pocket. The wicked fairy flounced off in a huff.
The curtain fell again, then rose to reveal a bunch of green streamers representing thorny vines. The prince hacked through them easily and made his way to where the princess was sleeping. He stared at Sleeping Beauty for a long moment.
Then he plunged his sword into her.
Without missing a beat, Sleeping Beauty picked up Masamune and plunged it into the prince.
The audience gasped in extreme shock.
"Uggh!" the prince groaned. "Where do you keep getting that thing from?!"
Sleeping Beauty winced as he sat up. "You are beginning to make this a bad habit," he warned, remembering the last time this spiky-headed upstart had stabbed him.
They pushed each other away and pulled the swords out of themselves - only, the prince now had Masamune and Sleeping Beauty had the buster sword. The prince lifted the unexpectedly light sword; it rose too quickly and knocked down a stage light.
"Whoa!" the prince exclaimed in alarm. "How do you (crash) handle this thing?"
Sleeping Beauty frowned. "This is heavy." He managed to heft it onto his shoulder with a great effort.
The prince's expression went steely. "I mean it, Sephiroth, this is the last--" As he spoke, he started to bring the sword around, but he miscalculated the length. It caught on a prop and yanked the prince off his feet.
"Fool," Sleeping Beauty said, with some satisfaction. He started to swing the buster sword, but its unexpected weight caused him to lose his grip, and it flew out into the audience.
It hit the slimy, tentacled creature in the front row, which made an awful sound like "gack." Liquid of an obscene color began to flow as it thrashed mightily.
Hojo stared at his alien companion in shock.
"Mother!!" Sephiroth cried in horror. He jumped off the stage and ran to her. "What have I done?!"
"I hate you," Jenova hissed in a slithery, echoing voice. "I'm not your real mother, anyway." She died.
"Nooo!" Sephiroth screamed. Power blew outward from him, causing the auditorium to collapse.
"Does this mean the play is over?" Cid asked hopefully.
After a confused moment, the audience rose to its feet and applauded.
THE END
