Star Trek: Voyager.
Title: The Weight of the World.
Author: Emma Curle
Pairing: Janeway/Chakotay
Please read and review.
Chapter One: Sacrifice
[The Delta Quadrant, 2370]
"The self-destruct program has been damaged. Now this installation will not be destroyed. But it must be. The Kazon must not be allowed to gain control of it. They will annihilate the Ocampa."
The only words that could be used to describe this caretaker was a giant, shrinking blob. A blob that had turned into a stone. Janeway bent down towards it and carefully picked it up. Literally and figuratively feeling the weight of the stone.
What was she supposed to do?
"Shall I activate the program to get us back?" Tuvok asked, towering above her. The Vulcan was calm, and although Janeway appeared to be calm on the outside- inside, she was shaking.
Janeway felt herself take a deep breath, but she wasn't sure whether she'd thought it or actually done it. "And what happens to the Ocampa after we're gone?"
"Captain. Any action we take to protect the Ocampa would affect the balance of power in this system. The Prime Directive would seem to apply." He told her.
"Would it?" She asked, staring at the caretakers remains. Studying it intensely. "We never asked to be involved, Tuvok. But we are."
Sacrifice.
It wasn't fair to abandon the Ocampa just to satisfy their need to get home. Her heart ached. "We are."
In that instance a decision was made. The Ocampa were innocent, and she would protect them at all costs. It felt surreal, as she crouched on the floor and held the dead rock of an alien being who had brought more misery than joy throughout his life- no one would mourn his loss, not even the people of Ocampa. But here she was, wishing he was still alive. If only so she didn't have to make this decision that she knew she'd regret- no matter which road she took, she'd knew that she would look back with guilt and sadness.
But it was about sacrifice- and she couldn't ask the Ocampan people to make this one.
[Seven Years Later]
The time is now 0600 hours.
The unwelcome, metalic voice spoke with an intense volume as the lights switched on. Kathryn Janeway winced as she pulled the bed covers up to envelope her head; mumbling to herself, wanting nothing more than to stay asleep.
Janeway didn't stand a chance- not only did the burden of command mean that she had to wake up, she also felt the dreaded nausea hit her like a strong tidal wave. This caused her to sit bolt up right and rush towards the bathoom.
It was an unexpected drawback that made her late for her duty shift on the bridge that morning. A tardiness that was so unlike the Captain that it was becoming to be habit, and causing a few heads to notice whenever she did turn up. Janeway never acknowledged it, however- she didn't want to. She couldn't. The moment she did was the moment she admitted that something was wrong. And there was no way that Kathryn Janeway would ever do that.
This is why she now sat on the bridge with confidence, despite the fatigue and the nausea. It was time for coffee- that had to be enough to perk her day right up. Janeway stood up and smirked towards her first officer, "I'll be in my ready room."
Chakotay nodded, her knew her well enough to know that a caffiene fix was where she was headed. He also knew she was feeling under the weather, and it concerned him. His best friend and Captain obviously wasn't well, of course it concerned him. He just wasn't sure how to approach the subject with her.
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Janeway made her order and her coffee appeared out of thin air. Gratefully she picked it up and took a sip- a sigh of relief and pleasure at the familiar taste. Letting it linger on her taste buds before taking another sip from the mug of joy.
One beat later and the door chimed to announce that someone wanted to gain entrance into her space. She sighed, "come in."
The doors opened to reveal Chakotay. As he walked in, he smiled at her.
Janeway raised her brow, "what can I do for you?"
"It's more of what I can do for you," he replied, with a smile that looked charming enough but it wasn't masking his obvious concern.
Janeway sat down at her desk, trying to conceal her own discomfort, "oh?"
He sighed, "you're not well." It was a fact.
"I'm perfectly fine." She told him, switching her desk-computer on.
Chakotay recognised what she was doing. "You're tired, and sick, and I think you should at least speak to the Doctor."
She looked up, quickly- too quickly. "I don't need to, Chakotay," it was difficult to hide how irked she was. He sensed this and backed off.
Just as he was about to say something else, they both lurched forward and the lights dimmed at the same time the red alert klaxon was activated. The exchanged a quick worried glance before rushing onto the bridge.
"Report," Janeway ordered.
"It's the Karri," Tuvok replied, "two ships."
"Again? They just can't leave us alone," Chakotay commented as the ship rocked one more time.
"I guess we made them angry," Tom Paris remarked.
"Mr Tuvok, return the favor and fire," Janeway ordered as she took to the Captain's chair once more.
Tuvok did as ordered and returned fire, disabling the lead vessel. It took a few more shots to encourage them to abandon the fight altogether.
Once they did, Janeway looked towards Chakotay with a curious expression. But it was Tom Paris who voiced it, "Anybody else getting the impression that they're after something?"
"It's almost like they're afraid to show their teeth," Chakotay commented. Janeway stood up and took a few steps forward, staring at the view screen. What was it they were after?
[11 weeks earlier]
Hushed whispers met haunting screams as Janeway felt her head explode. The cold metal pressed against her body- her uniform torn and tattered. A foul taste stuck to her mouth, and she found herself breathing heavily. Every time she tried to open her eyes she was met with a blinding light that forced her to retreat to darkness. She couldn't move, her arms and legs were secured in harsh restraints.
She felt something brush against her arm and her breathing quickened; her heart began to race. She'd felt this before.
Before the pain started.
She pressed her lips firmly together; physically and emotionally preparing herself for what was to come. She dared to open her eyes, only to find a stranger staring back down at her. He looked human enough but Kathryn Janeway knew enough to know that he wasn't from Earth. His uniform was black with a silver finish and a fierce emblem was attached to his chest- something he wore with pride.
Janeway opened her mouth but no words escaped. It was like a nightmare, she wanted to demand what was going on, she wanted to plead with them to let her go. But her voice had escaped her, she was physically incapable of uttering a sound.
He smiled at her with evil satisfaction. "What you're experiencing is the effects from the drugs we gave you. They'll wear off eventually..." He trailed off, purposely choosing that moment to look her in the eye, lowering the tortorous lamp so she could see more clearly.
She unwillingly swallowed.
[Present Day]
She had been unable to hide how grateful she'd been when Voyager had rescued her from the Karri prison. The longest two weeks of her life. Janeway had been held prisoner before- the Cardassians were usually what she'd consider her worst experience but the Karri had tortured her in ways she never would dare discuss. They'd tortured her emotionally as well as physically- she squeezed her eyes shut as the memory gripped her once more. A therapist would probably give this the label of PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - as if that would make her feel any better.
She held tightly to the coffee cup and took a steadying breath. Satisfied she was in control, she opened her eyes again and looked around her dimly lit quarters. It was late. Very late. And she was busy reading reports and going over the events of the day, preparing to do her log.
The biggest problem Voyager faced right now was the fact that the Karri were picking up the pace of their attacks- they still had a few months of their space yet to travel. Janeway, or her crew, couldn't figure out what it was the Karri were after. Yes, they were enemies, but every attack seemed to be pointless. They didn't attempt communication, they didn't seem to have an agenda... and their fire power wasn't enough to cause any lasting damage--it felt like warning shots. So, why were they bothering? What were they being warned against? A little pointless to give people a warning if they can't understand the message.
And the fact that that answer was elusive to her was nothing short of frustrating for Janeway. She slowly stood up and crossed the floor to the window- folding her arms beneath her chest.
In that moment, as she felt herself stare at a distant star, she felt a headache begin to grip her. She sighed, maybe she'd found the source of her nausea--a migraine.
Great, this was just what she needed.
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A brisk walk was the best cure, and a great way to start the day. Kathryn Janeway was heading towards the bridge, she looked like a woman with a mission. She was a woman on a mission. Feeling refreshed after she'd finally managed to get some sleep, Janeway was determined not to be late.
That was the image Chakotay was presented with as he caught her up, having to jog to do so. "For a woman whose been late for her shifts all week, you're incredibly energetic this morning." He chuckled, with a charm that wasn't lost on her.
Janeway inwardly felt her stomach lurch- she shouldn't have had breakfast. "There must be something in Neelix's coffee this morning, what can I say?"
They reach the turbolift and he touches the keypad- he nods to her to step in first and she does so; giving him a grateful nod. Turning on her heel to face the doors, as they close she clasps her hands together behind her back.
"Come to think of it, Neelix's coffee has been tasting a little different lately," Chakotay commented; amused. He'd missed talking to her like this- the conversations were never really about anything real or important. It was the moment they dared to be flirtatious with each other.
"I'll have to ask him about it- I'd hate to think he's poisoning us all."
He chuckled, "don't let him hear you say that."
Janeway smirked at him as they reached the bridge- she stepped out and made a beeline for her chair.
She glanced round, subtly, her way of making sure everything was going well. Tom Paris was at his rightful place at the helm, making a course adjustment- and secretly winking towards B'Elana Torres. Janeway felt herself roll her eyes at the way those two were communicating, but they were married and they weren't doing anything else inappropriate, nor were they harming anyone. So she didn't say anything about it.
Seven of Nine calmly walked onto the bridge and took up her station- just in time to hear Commander Tuvok say, "Captain, three Karri warships are approaching."
Janeway felt the coffee in her stomach churn as the shock cursed through her. This was getting to be like clockwork.
Three? "They've upped the stakes," remarked Paris.
"Red Alert," Janeway ordered, "raise shields and prepare to open fire." Her hands gripped the arms of her seat and she crossed her legs. Tuvok entered a few commands into the computer and did as he was instructed.
As the lights dimmed, Seven said, "these ships have more efficient fire power, Captain."
Janeway looked towards Paris who swivveled round in his seat, "I guess I may have understated it a little."
Instead of firing upon Voyager, however, they took a different approach.
"They're hailing us," Harry Kim said, surprised.
Janeway exchanged a curious glance with Chakotay, "this is new," he stated. She stood up and nodded in agreement.
"On screen."
An image flicked onto the screen and Janeway stared at the face- a familiar face. "Kathryn Janeway." The way he spoke her name made her inwardly shudder.
"Have we met?" She asked, covering up her discomfort. He had a cruel, aged face that looked like it had seen a hundred wars.
There was a slight smirk on his face as she spoke, "You were probably semi-conscious." That gave her the answer she needed, and she was eager to move past that- especially given that they were on the bridge, surrounded by her officers. She kept her chin up. The dread, the fear, the pain; it was all wiped from her face as quickly as it appeared. It was Chakotay who looked down towards his knees and allowed himself to feel the emotion she repressed.
"Why these constant attacks on my ship?" She demanded.
"We can't allow you to leave our space." He told her. Chakotay stood up and joined his Captain, wearing an incredulous expression on his face. This was a new one- usually the aliens didn't want them in their space.
"And why is that?" She crossed her arms, feeling impatient.
"I'll put it this way- you have something we need."
Janeway frowned at the cryptic statement. Chakotay took the diplomatic stance, "then let's trade. Surely we can come to some kind of understanding. There's no need for us to fight."
"I don't think you'll be quite so willing to make this trade."
"How can you be sure?" Janeway asked. "Let's meet--we can negotiate." Despite her intense hatred for this species, she couldn't let her own personal feelings put her crew in jeopardy. If there was a diplomatic out, she would take it.
"Fine," he leaned forward, "I'll transport over to your ship."
The communication link terminated and his image disappeared from the screen. Although she felt trepidation at the looming discussion with the Karri, she was relieved that his face was no longer on the view screen.
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The atmosphere was intense and thick. It could've been cut with a low-setting phaser rifle. The senior crew members were sat around the briefing room table- two Karri representatives were at the very end, in what could only be describing as a staring contest with Captain Janeway.
Neelix glanced between Janeway and the Karri, resisting the urge to gulp.
"I think," Chakotay started, diplomatically, "we would be prepared to meet your needs in a variety of ways- we have medical, food supplies--"
The Karri soldier raised his gloved hand and raised his brow, "--No, those are not required." He never took his eyes of Captain Janeway. To Janeway it felt like he was trying to stare into her soul, and she didn't dare blink or look away in fear of him gaining access.
"Well, whatever it is you need, the Voyager crew are always willing to help." Neelix said, his voice filled with admiration and pride for his crewmates.
The look of pure disgust on the man's face was not misunderstood. Seven of Nine raised her brow and looked over at the cheerful Talaxian.
Janeway folded her hands on the table, she knew she had to speak. But her the tone of her voice was deadly, "What is it that you need?"
"You have something that belongs to us." He stated, not taking his eyes off Janeway.
"You are accusing us of theft?" Tuvok asked, stoicly calm.
The man smirked, "No, not at all. But you," he pointed at Janeway, "have something that belongs to us and you can't leave our territory until it is returned to us."
Janeway cleared her throat, and stood up. Placing her hands on the cold surface of the table, "Just what is it, exactly, that I have that belongs to the Karri?" She tried to hide how irritated and angry she felt but she failed. How dare they come onto her ship and accuse her of theft, when they had been the ones who had kidnapped her all those weeks ago.
"You mean to tell me," he pushed himself up to stand taller than her, "that you haven't figured it out, yet?" Janeway quickly glanced at Chakotay before returning her attention to their guest. "You must be feeling the effects by now... physically."
As Janeway began to have this sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, the Doctor allowed his presence to be known, "If you're suggesting that the Captain is medically suffering from any of your barbaric-torture-techniques, I'll have you know she's in perfect health."
"We know she is, it's what made her a good candidate."
"Candidate for what?" Chakotay asked, standing up also. It was Seven of Nine who grabbed her tricorder and calmly went to the Captain to scan her.
Janeway didn't need Seven to tell her what the scan was revealing- her gut instinct was twisting her in knots enough for her to figure it out on her own. Seven sensed this when she observed the expression on Janeway's face. She closed the tricorder and did nothing to mask her own anger at the situation.
"Oh, my God." She whispered, it was barely audible.
The Karri soldier stared at Janeway, who was still trying to wrap her mind around all of this, "the child belongs with us."
Eyes shot open, becaming incredibly wide as every member of the crew got to their feet. Not necessarily out of shock, but also feeling a strong sense that their Captain needed protection. Janeway herself was having difficulties forming a sentence, so Chakotay stepped up; having no choice but feel surprised later.
"Wait- you kidnap her, you do this to her, and now you demand that the child belongs to you?" Chakotay couldn't hide his anger, though. This was his best friend. And it seemed she was currently overwhelmed, her face had drained of colour.
"You don't understand- without this child, our race could die." He stepped round the briefing room, aiming towards Janeway but Chakotay and Seven stood in his way. "We've been trying to find a compatible species for decades. We lack the ability to reproduce, we're trying to survive."
"How has your species survived at all if you do not reproduce?" Seven asked, curiously, still on the defensive.
"We used to. Genetic manipulation has taken it's toll on our society."
"And your answer was to medically rape Captain Janeway?" The Doctor asked, incredulously. The words shot through Janeway's ears like a bullet. An emotional smack on the head. They were enough to snap her mind back into reality.
Before he could answer, Janeway stepped round Chakotay and Seven to address him, "so let me get this straight, this-" she hesitated, "baby is all that stands between you and extinction?"
"This is the first conception that has been successful in over a thousand species." He explained. He hoped to reason with her, this was important in his eyes.
"Captain?" Seven asked, concerned where this was heading. She held up her hand to stop her from continuing. Seven had no choice but step backwards.
"And just what exactly were you expecting me to do? Hand it over to you?" She was angry, there was no doubt about that. She felt violated, and somewhat humilated.
"Yes. Once you do that, you can leave our space."
"You don't seriously expect me to agree to that."
"You don't have a choice," he told her, "this child is ours."
"I'm no expert, but isn't this baby half-human?" Paris piped up.
"It doesn't matter," Janeway interrupted before his question could be answered, she was still looking directly at the Karri soldier- an deadly and icy expression on her face, "I don't know what you were thinking, but you can't possibly expect me to be okay with you performing experiments on me and then allowing you to waltz on to my ship and take this-" a pause, "-baby."
"If you attempt to keep this child from us then we will be forced to destroy your vessel."
"Really?" Janeway asked, finding it difficult to believe he'd destroy that what he needed. She grabbed the phaser from her belt and armed it, aiming it towards her lower abdomen. He looked alarmed, "are you sure about that?"
"You wouldn't--I have to say, I wouldn't have expected you to react this way." To say her crew were currently shocked and on edge would be an understatement.
"That would've been before my experience on your planet and before you impregnated me against my will. Get off my ship."
"The fire power you've experienced is nothing like what we can throw at you--"
She fiercely slapped at her comm badge, "Janeway to the transporter room- beam our guests back to their ship." She practically snarled.
"I'm pleading wi-" He disappeared in a flicker of lights, along with his colleague.
Leaving the crew to stand there gaping at each other.
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The mess hall was at its best when it was around one in the morning, the lights were on a power saving level and the crew were nowhere to be seen. Looking out at the rushing stars, it was almost like watching raindrops outside a window. Especially when one was feeling melancholy as they did so.
Janeway took a deep breath that she hoped would steady her mind but it failed. She felt like she was sinking, flailing about as she tried to keep herself afloat. This was not how she'd expected to ever get pregnant, and this felt like a no-win situation to her. Her crew were in danger, but the way to save them was to give up this innocent baby? How could she do that?
She heard the sound of the main door sliding open and she turned round to see Chakotay walking into the room, making his way toward her. He reached her and began to look out the window as well. After a few silent moments, he said, "Kathryn, how are..," he couldn't finish the question, it seemed too simple. He took a deep breath of his own, and studied her.
"-how am I doing?" She finished for him. "I don't know." She pinched the bridge of her nose.
Chakotay gave her a supportive smile, "The crew are concerned about you."
She glanced at him but said nothing. She wanted to ask if he'd meant that he was concerned but she didn't act on it.
"It's just--well, none of them are sure what's going to happen or what it is that you're gonna do."
Janeway turned to him, "I'd be impressed if they did know, Chakotay. I don't even know."
He sighed, "I know you'll make the right decision."
She sighed, deeply, rubbing her eyes and stepping away, taking a seat on the comfortable couch. "The right decision--" she let out a small, sarcastic laugh. "I'm not sure there is a right decision. And how am I supposed to decide?"
Chakotay propped himself up on the arm of the opposite seat- taking both her question and her dark appearance very seriously. "Well, I'm no expert on," he paused, "on womanhood, but isn't the right decision what's best for your baby?"
Janeway sighed, briefly closing her eyes, "Chakotay, the Karri will stop at nothing to get this -baby- and that puts this crew in grave danger. How can I willingly put everyone in that kind of jeopardy?" She stood up and began to pace. "I promised I would get this crew home, I've sworn to protect them. What kind of Captain would I be if I ignored that? It's safe to assume the Karri would look after this baby since it's apparently so precious to them." She was getting more and more aggravated by the minute; and she knew there was no way she believed that.
Chakotay looked up at her, her hand placed firmly on her hip. "Kathryn, we don't know what happened to them or why they're no longer fertile... but a species that hunts down other races to procreate can't possibly be filled with responsible parents."
He nodded, standing up to meet her face-to-face, "What they did to you was wrong. And this baby -your baby- deserves a chance, no matter how he or she came to be. You know the crew would be behind you 100 percent."
She looked out the window, stifling a tremble and trying to conceal a few unshed tears.
Of course, Chakotay sensed this. He stood back up and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "Kathryn?" His voice was soft, and soothing.
"I can't--" She sighed, refusing to break down now, "I don't have a lot of options here, Chakotay. I don't want to put Voyager in the line of fire for me, but I just don't think I can have an abortion, and handing the baby over is out of the question..." She shrugged, "I've gotta tell you, I have considered taking the Delta Flyer and leaving Voyager-"
He quickly interrupted her, "-you know I'd stop you."
She looked down and then back up at him, "It wouldn't stop me from trying."
He gave her a smirk but before he could respond, the Doctor's voice came through loud and clear over the comm system. "Sickbay to the Captain."
Janeway sighed, smiling up at Chakotay briefly before tapping her comm badge, "Janeway here."
"Ah, I knew you'd be awake." He was too chipper for the early hours of the morning. "I would like you to report to sickbay."
"What is it?"
"I have some test results you may find interesting."
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They had barely stepped through the doors into sickbay before the Doctor immediately approached them. "Captain. Commander. I think you'll find this of interest." He led the way through his office and took them to the appropriate display screen, pressing a few keys and bringing up Janeway's test results.
An image of fetus appeared on the screen. "Firstly, Captain, you're approximately 12 weeks along with a half-human, half-karri child." She felt her heart rate increase as she heard that. She needed a moment to let that sink in.
"How come I never..." It had only just occured to her how long ago it had been; why didn't she notice?
"Captain," the Doctor started, "you are notorious for ignoring your health, and if you've only had minor symptoms you would never have noticed. If we'd waited any longer to find out, your bump would've given you away." He seemed excited.
Too excited.
"Doctor, please," the frustrated look bore into his holographic eyes, "What is it that I'm supposed to find interesting?"
"Ah. Look at this-" He changed the image on the screen slightly to show another angle, "-there's more going on here than a simple pregnancy."
Chakotay frowned, "What do you mean?"
"Please don't tell me this one of those done-in-a-couple-of-months kind of pregnancies?" Janeway asked, using her tone of voice to imply that she won't take that news very well. She needed time.
"No," The Doctor shook his head, quickly, not hiding his concern, "no, not at all. I ran some tests on the fetus, and it seems the combination of human and karri is creating some unexpected results. If I'm right, even though the gestation period could well be the usual for you, the brain is developing at a faster rate."
"So... this kid is learning?" Chakotay asked.
"Faster, much faster."
Janeway stopped listening. Her mind was racing; there was something else going on here that she didn't know about. She felt violated, like she was being used. Used for an experiment that she hadn't given permission for. A part of her even doubted the excuse about years of genetic manipulation, she couldn't believe the Karri had problems conceiving children- it seemed too easy to use that excuse
"...Captain?"
"Kathryn?"
They must have noticed her far away look. She blinked.
"Captain... ha--had you made a decision about whether you wanted to terminate?"
She hesitated.
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"Alright people, we need a plan."
Chakotay turned on his heel to look at the officers sat around the briefing room table. Everybody was there aside from Captain Janeway. Chakotay had decided to call a meeting to discuss Voyager's options.
"I assume Captain Janeway is going to carry this child to full term?" Seven of Nine asked, with her brow raised.
Chakotay simply nodded.
"That isn't a wise choice." Seven continued, "that puts Voyager in grave danger."
"Seven-"
"-As Captain she is responsible for the lives of everybody on board this ship-"
"Seven!" Chakotay raised his voice, "The Captain knows what her responsibility is, and believe me she hasn't made this decision lightly. I didn't call this briefing to discuss the wisdom behind her choice. We're here to come up with a defence for Voyager, and her."
Seven backed down, albeit reluctantly.
"Tactical has already taken extra precautions against attacks from the Karri, considering they have already being doing so since we rescued the Captain." Tuvok stated, calmly.
"It's safe to assume the Karri threat of increased power is likely to be carried out." Seven continued.
"A transport inhibitor!" Harry Kim randomly called out. They all turned to the end of the table and stared at him. "Look, it makes more sense to protect the Captain at this point... when they attack, they'll probably attack our shields till they drop--then they can beam her off this ship."
"He's right." Paris agreed, with a nod, looking back towards Chakotay. "We're going about this wrong -- no offence Tuvok -- but we need to be doing more than the usual."
"Transport inhibitors are unreliable, it's why we don't use them." B'Elanna Torres spoke up, putting her PADD down on the table as she did so.
"I could upgrade them using Borg technology." Seven suggested.
"Now this is more like it." Chakotay commented, finally allowing himself to sit down.
"So, seriously, Chakotay, she's really doing this?" Paris asked, concerned and curious.
He nodded.
"One must wonder how she plans to be both a mother and the Captain?" Tuvok thought out aloud.
"Yeah, I mean, and when she's heavily pregnant? What's she gonna do then?"
Chakotay looked directly at Tom Paris, not answering his question. "Listen, she needs our support right now. Yes, this is going to be unusual but if anybody can cope with this, it's Kathryn Janeway."
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[Four Months Later]
The rough rubble against her skin was somehow comforting. They were still alive. That comfort was short lived, however, she saw her lucky cup in several pieces on the floor and she sighed with frustration. With difficulty, she eased her body down towards the ground and picked up the pieces- groaning a little bit. Unable to move as much as she used to, but being Kathryn Janeway, she was still insistent she was just fine.
The door chimed and without a pause she instructed the caller to come in. Chakotay walked in and before the doors even closed behind him, he was holding out a hand to take her by the arm; helping her to stand back up. "Kathryn..."
"Now, don't start. I'm fine," she rolled her eyes, "Voyager on the other hand..." She gestured towards the damaged bulkhead towards the window- it was obvious the ship had been through some hard times. She placed her broken cup on her desk, and tried to stretch her back.
"We're almost out of Karri space, I believe we can make it."
Janeway snorted, "I'm not so sure, Chakotay." Chakotay inwardly rolled his eyes- hormones were giving her an increasingly annoying attitude. If it were at all possible.
The ship rocked unexpectedly, and Chakotay was forced to catch her before she fell to the floor. The familiar sound of Red Alert began and they both rushed straight onto the bridge.
"Report," Janeway ordered. Although she already knew what the situation was...
"Karri warships... Many."
...maybe she didn't. Janeway shot Tuvok a look of shock and concern. Whilst he couldn't be as emotional about this as she was, he couldn't deny he felt concern as well. Before she could even make any order to open fire, retaliate or take a defensive tactic, the ship violently rocked; knocking everyone to the ground. Forcefully taking out several unfortunate members of the crew who had stood near a console that had exploded.
"Captain, we've lost inertial dampners." B'Elana Torres informed them over the comm system.
Before Janeway could even respond to that, Tuvok diverted her attention, "Captain, there's a hull breach on deck 10."
She pulled herself up off the floor, as best she could, and dragged herself to a chair, "Mr Tuvok, return fire. Mr Paris, get us out of here."
"Yes, ma'am." Paris replied, trying to comply with her order. The Karri hit the ship with another wave of torpedoes; causing bulkheads to crash to the floor and fires to break out, not only on the bridge.
"...we've lost shields."
Tuvok's voice seemed awfully distant as Janeway felt the impact of his statement.
"...they're trying to get a lock on the Captain."
Clearly the Borg-improved transport inhibitor was doing it's job. But for how long.
"Tuvok, fire a torpedo at each ship," Chakotay ordered. And as the ship rocked one more time from a phaser blast against the hull, Janeway stood up and stared out the view screen.
"...Captain, warp drive is offline..."
What was she doing? Allowing these good people to suffer like this for her sake?
"Casualty reports on all decks..."
Allowing them to die...? She couldn't do this, she couldn't let them make that kind of sacrifice- she just wasn't worth it. They deserved better.
"...we're sitting ducks without shields, we need to do something..."
It was in that moment that she realised that the only thing keeping her here, keeping her crew in danger, was attached to her arm. Everything slowed down to the point where time almost stood still. She could see officers clutching to their duty with pride and dignity; protecting their Captain with honour. She could see good people suffering from painful injuries. Some of them old, most of them new.
"...they're preparing to open fire..."
With a look of sorrow, she caught Chakotay's eyes and held his gaze. He paused, not expecting to see the look of defeat on her face. "Kathryn?"
"Don't come after me," she swallowed, hard, blinking back the unexpected tears, "that's an order."
Before he could object, she grabbed the transport inhibitor and forcefully snapped the band, pulling it away from her arm and dropping it onto the floor. Chakotay panicked, he tried to cross the bridge to grab her but he was too late.
They'd taken her.
"Commander, they're jumping to warp!" Harry called out.
"Tom, lay in a pursuit course," Chakotay ordered.
Tom just looked up at him, "I can't, Chakotay. We don't even have impulse drive."
Before he could really take the time to focus on what had just happened, the damage reports came piling in. He stared at the transport inhibitor now lying carelessly on the floor; feeling painfully aware that she was no longer with them.
TBC
