Standing At The End of The Earth
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from the Harry Potter universe. They are all the property of the amazing JK Rowling. Standing At The End of the Earth belongs to Blessid Union of Souls, once again not mine. I'm merely quoting a great hometown band (cause we don't have many great Cincy bands.) Also, if you only do the movies, don't read this. It has spoilers to HBP and DH.
Hello diary:
You're so full of blank pages. It's sad, a little scary too. I haven't written in a diary since Tom's, all the way back in first year. For good reason, but I had Professor McGonagall check you our first. She almost didn't, thinking I was being silly, but Professor Snape, our newest Headmaster, was passing by and told her to do it. It surprised her, as Snape never paid any attention to me. I've noticed lately that he's watching me a little closer. I know it's because of Harry, but it's not for the reason that Neville keeps telling me he believes it to be. Yes, I know he, Snape not Neville, killed Dumbledore, but since returning, I just can't help thinking. There is definitely something going on, it's up to me to figure out what it is. Harry needs me to be strong for him, and to make sure that those around here stay loyal. He doesn't realize how much he needs me, he thinks that my brother and Hermione are more important in the fight. But I know I help. I have to help. I would do anything for Harry.
Harry…
I have never understood that whole "let me get a theme song" thing that others do. I remember when Hermione first saw Ron and Lavender snog, she kept singing this stupid "I Will Survive" thing under her breath, except in the shower when she'd belt it. She has a surprisingly good voice. And I've never really been a fan of muggle music either. It's not me being pretensious (big word, I'm surprised it popped in my head, I must be channeling Hermione. Probably not as my spelling is off, you know she'd have it perfect.) it's just not my thing. Not like I love Celestina Warbeck either, but give me the Weird Sisters or something of the like before that stupid Mmmbop shit Colin keeps singing on the way to classes. Sorry, tangent.
Point is, I have found my theme song. Well, I didn't find it, Colin did. Hermione had been kind enough to give me her charmed cassette player to be able to listen to music while at school this year just before she left with my Harry. Colin had brought a couple copies of his favorite cassettes to school, he later told me he had hoped that Hermione would be able to charm his cassette player to play at Hogwarts. Everyone was really surprised when I walked onto the platform without my brother, ex-boyfriend, and best friend.
Should I be jealous of Hermione, diary? Sometimes it feels like he cares more for her than he does for me. I love him, and I know he loves me, but I can't help but wonder….no, I can't dwell on this. I need to put on a brave face. I am Ginny Weasley, I am the confident young woman everyone has expected me to be for the last couple years. I need to make sure that those who expect me to know more about Harry are comforted, and that those who expect me to be torn up over him not being here is disappointed. I must make sure that no one senses my worry, because they can't know that he is out there fighting, and that every night I send him my strength as I sleep. I must not worry. I must think of my song, it always makes me feel better.
This song just fits perfectly. "I know you're coming back so why am I dying inside?" It's so hard knowing that Harry is out there, with only my dimwitted brother and Hermione to help him. It actually is a comfort knowing that Hermione is with him, as she is so clever, but Ron, I really can't expect him to be much of a help. I know he'll come back to me, Harry, not Ron, though I do miss my brother. I know it. I've loved him since he saved me back in first year.
That's not true. I think I first fell in love with him when I was ten, he looked so unsure of himself asking Mum for help in getting through to the platform. With his broken glasses and messy hair, and clothes he was swimming in. I couldn't get the picture out of my head even before I knew that he was The Harry Potter-the boy who lived. Of course I knew who he was, how could I not? But more importantly, he was a shy boy who was nice and smiled at me. At my sorting I prayed for Gryffindor, not to make my family happy, but to be able to get to know him better. I needed him to see me as something more than Ron's annoying little sister.
Last year he finally did. Finally. I'd given up hope, and started dating Dean but after winning in Quidditch he actually kissed me. Harry Potter initiated a kiss with Ginny Weasley. I was ecstatic, and mum practically started planning the wedding. I didn't mind, I ho pe to someday be Mrs. Ginevra Potter, but I knew that's not what Harry needed. Until the threat of You-Know-Who is gone, he'll never be able to just sit back. As much as I wanted to daily tell him how much I love him, I didn't. We didn't talk about the threat, I kept it physical, treating him like a regular sixteen year old boy.
Someday he'll come home to me.
So here I am, standing at what might as well be the edge of the Earth-the highest point in Hogwarts, the astronomy tower. I come here nightly, using my prefect rounds as an excuse as to why I'm not in the common room, staring out over the grounds, hoping for the day Harry comes back to me. I've been here every night since the beginning of classes, wishing I had Harry's invisibility cloak, but glad he has it. Sending him my strength and love. Waiting for someday.
Diary,
Since writing earlier, something odd happened. Something I can't tell anyone else about, the only one who will ever be able to know is Harry. I was standing up in my usual spot in the tower when I thought I heard something behind me. Afraid it was the new Deatheater teachers, I tried to shrink into the shadows, just to see Snape step out of them, robes billowing in the wind. He's kinda spooky that way.
"He'll come back soon. Sooner then you'll know." The words were hard to hear, almost like he wanted to make sure I was the only one around. Sure enough, the new Headmaster was talking to me. I jumped, surprised. "You wouldn't want to be caught up here by someone else. Hasn't Professor Flitwick taught you a disillusionment charm? If not, I believe Ms. Lovegood is good at it." I stayed rooted to the spot, while he whispered a spell over me. Memories flew into my head, memories that I should not have seen. Memories that had not been mine. "You won't be able to tell anyone, but you're the best vessel for them now that Ms. Granger is gone. If I can't show him, you must. He must know the truth before the Dark Lord can be defeated. He will come back to you. I know what it's like to wait for someone to love you."
As he left, I looked down to see you, my diary in my hands. Somehow I knew the spell needed to put those memories in you, making me more like Tom than I'd like to be. But so much closer to helping Harry defeat him. It's funny how much Harry's life has paralleled Tom's. It's ironic that the only way to make sure that I am able to help my love is to make myself more like the one thing that can scare me.
So…
I'll be standing at the edge of the Earth. Hoping that someday you'll come back again. I'll be standing at the edge of the Earth, hoping for someday.
Authors Note: I tried to keep this as cannon as possible. That being said, it cannot actually be cannon. For that I apologize. However, this takes place during DH, therefore 1997. The song didn't come out until 1999. Sadly, there is no way this story would work without the song. It's the inspiration for my writing, and for Ginny's musings that I have written for her. If you read this far, I know you have looked past this problem, and for that I am grateful.. I tried to go based off of what I remember from my own history of 1997, sorry if I am off at all. I've also never written Ginny before, so I hope she wasn't too OOC.
Also, this is a reworking of something I've written before.
