A/N: Hey everyone, this is my first fanfic ever, so please tell me everything that's right, wrong, or in-between! I would absolutely love messages about plot ideas and whatnot, and I don't like to wait for long on my favorite fanfics, so I'll try to update as soon as humanly possible. A beta would be loved!

Chapter I: Epiphany

"Are you absolutely positive you've made the right decision, Bella?" Edward asked with the most sincere expression straining his perfect features as he tried ravishingly to read my thoughts.

"Edward, I love you. I love you," I stressed the most important part of my sentence. I had no hope of hiding my fear at all, my heart was the traitor once again as it pounded with absolute terror, nearly ready to burst through my ribcage. I sighed. Would he ever figure this out? How could it not be unbearably obvious how much I loved him with every fiber of my being? I mean, who was I kidding? Sure, I loved Jacob, but not with the same utmost intensity that I loved my Edward with. Jake was a friend. Nothing more. He never would be anything more, no matter how hard he tried to sway me from my final, and I do mean final, decision.

I was about to become a vampire, and soon. Not soon as in 'a couple weeks', no, not even days. Hours. Minutes. Mere seconds for all I knew. The time had come, it was three weeks after our wedding. I had fulfilled my side of the bargain. I had married my Edward, as he fulfilled my end of the bargain. Now that I thought back, did he even need to persuade me to marry him? How foolish of me to deny my true need. I truly needed to marry Edward to get everything to finally feel right, no matter how utterly human and ordinary (I shuddered at the very words) the title "husband" would beg him to appear. No. I wanted to marry him. I had to marry him, to feel the flutter and skips of my heart while the simple yet so beautifully arranged words were stuttered. "I do," I said, unyielding to my thoughts, and before I knew I had actually said them, his singsong sweet voice filled my ears.

"What? Bella… we can hold this off if you'd like to, if you're not sure…" his voice trailed off waiting for my response.

"Not sure what? Not sure if I love you more than any being in the world, Edward? Not sure that I want to spend the rest of eternity with you?" I became giddy once more at the very idea. Eternity. It was such a marvelously beautiful word. "I'm absolutely positive," even though I shuddered, I was sure I conveyed the absolute sincerity in my voice.

"Bella," he said, a mix of pain, torture, frustration, and the most hidden of all, complete happiness, and eagerness crossed his features and made his voice thick. I was positive that if he could cry, glistening tears would be streaming as we spoke. "You don't have to… there are other ways, I can fight the Volturi, I can kill them all, you can have all the time you want, grow old, I will never leave you unless you wish me to…" It was my finger that interrupted him this time. I pressed it upon his lips, ineffectively, but he got the picture and stopped talking.

"The last thing I want to do as a human," I murmured, skipping the real words being alive, "is kiss you. Edward, I want to blush one last time, and have my heart flutter, and feel the intensity, the love…" It was he that silenced me this time.

"Silly Bella," he chuckled halfheartedly, "The only things you'll be giving up of those you listed are the blushing and heart fluttering, you'll still feel all you feel now, only…" he trailed off.

"Only what?" I prompted.

"I'll…" he hesitated again, but was pushed to continue by the look I gave him. He wasn't the only one who could use his eyes as persuasive tools. "…be… soft." He had finally spit it out. My heart stopped. The one thing I had desired next to being a vampire was that Edward could be human. I wouldn't be so horribly paper-thin to him anymore. I would feel like a human would to another human, and he the same to me. My heart lurched once more at the thought. Then bite me already! I wanted to scream. I was filled with absolute joy. I didn't care about not seeing any of my human friends ever again, or the fact I wouldn't have my heartbeat and blushing cheeks to betray me at times like this. All I cared about was that we would be normal to each other now. I was thrilled.

"Bella," his gentle coo brought me from my blissful reverie, and his eyes burned with curiosity, "Love, what are you thinking?"

"That you can't do this fast enough," I smiled, unable to contain my utmost joy. He quickly became exuberant, and I didn't need Jasper here to tell me that. As swiftly as it had come, the expression was masked by false pain, and hesitation. "Edward. I'm waiting," I said cheekily.

I couldn't wait for this last lopsided kiss, where his lips would crush mine for the last time. My lips would no longer be crushed by his, I could press against him with human force, and have his lips yield under mine with equal force as mine.

He plunged into the kiss as eagerly as I. And as usual, we reached the little boundary formed by our dating days, but as we had recently, we passed it, tossed it to the side, and kept going. I was lying on the hard metal operating table that Carlisle had installed for this occasion, ready for treatments if they could help me. His body crushed to mine, we were as close as possible, and for the first time, he didn't restrain his weight by hovering. No, he way laying on top of me now, and I really liked it. No, I loved it. A grin lifted my lips, and he responded by curling his as well, oblivious to the real reason for my smiling. My heart thudded an uneven tempo, and skipped a few beats, slowed, and sped up. He put his hand over my heart, and felt the beat. Again smiling my favorite crooked grin, only times ten. He pressed his ear against my heart, and sighed, bidding it farewell. I blushed at his hand, and mimicked a tomato at the side of his face being against my heart. He looked up once more, a beautiful glow in his eyes, and kissed me again, deeply.

Ten minutes later, after I had nearly fainted, we lay there, heaving and ragged for breath. He was still on top of me, and I memorized the way his marble body felt pressed against every inch of me. I was wrapped in his arms, and he flipped us, so that I was on him. His fingers danced patterns on my arms, and he was still glowing profusely.

"You know," he murmured into my ear, "I really hadn't decided to change you before now." A smile wove it's way into his melodious words. "But seeing that you're not as happy as you could be, how could I really keep that from you, Bella. My love, my one true love. I have never loved another as I have loved you." His words were so achingly sweet, my heart fluttered again, and I soon blushed at the way he looked at me.

I was thoroughly puzzled by his words, though. All confusion was cleared the instant I heard Alice at the doorway.

"Is it safe to enter?" she joked.

Edward ran his fingers though his hair, and smiled "Yes." An impish grin crossed his face as he added "It is now."

"Have you told her?" Alice chirped in her all-too-knowing way. I knew something was up. She had a vision, and Edward hadn't shared with me yet.

"Not quite yet," he mused, then added, "Do you want to?"

I looked back and forth, hating not being in the know. Alice simply gave him a harsh look and whirled back to me with the sweetest of smiles, and a large addition of excitement. I then noticed she had been bouncing. I thought it had been my heart pounding from my husband's sheer presence. Ick. I thought. Did I really just think husband to describe Edward? Well, it was a stronger word than boyfriend or anything like that. Greek god was more like it.

"Bella," Edward started, tensing slightly, but from nothing negative, "Alice has seen… the future… and, well…" he stammered, searching for the right words, "you're the happiest thing that's ever graced this earth," he bubbled, not bothering to hide his joy anymore. "You're not even that horribly th-" Alice then smacked the back of his head. Hard. She shot a glare with meaning. Great, another one of their little private conversations. Edward nodded, understanding what he obviously hadn't before.

Just then, Carlisle stepped in. "Edward," he called, looking at the clock, "has she made her decision?"

"Indeed she has," Edward beamed, "We will be needing the morphine." He winced at this new thought of my future torture, and gave me a look filled with pity and pain. I noticed, for the first time tonight, the color of his eyes. Jet black. No… deeper than onyx. I thought, if that were possible. Not a single trace of gold rimmed the edges, just black. The deepest black I had ever seen in my life. Whoever came up with the color guide must've used his eyes for a reference for the purest black in the world.

I was ready.

"Here," Carlisle gestured, handing the morphine bottle and syringe over to Edward. "Remember, son, we're only a room away if you need us." Carlisle's also black eyes flicked to me so swiftly I almost missed it. Edward nodded solemnly.

He turned to me, and took me up in another kiss, cut short. He swallowed hard, shaking. He drew a large amount of liquid into the syringe, and put it into the IV already in my hand.

Suddenly, his eyes welled and the whites became slightly brown. I looked questioningly, and felt his icy hand brush away the tears blurring my vision. I hadn't even realized I was crying. With a sudden epiphany, I realized that he was doing the closest possible thing for him to crying. His eyes became brown instead of red, the long-dead veins filled with old blood of his last furry victim. I had never seen this happen before, it was all so strange. His shoulders shook and he drew a sharp shaky breath that caught in his throat. I realized with horror that he was so intensely saddened that he was actually crying, in a way nearly impossible to his kind.

His jaw trembled as I sniffed, and held him so tightly it would have certainly strangled a human. We sat there, crying in our own ways for what seemed like hours. I looked at the clock on the wall, only to realize it had been about two minutes. I kissed him one last human time, my mouth filling with what seemed to be like saliva. I was wrong. Venom burned inside my mouth, but tasted sweeter than any honey I had ever tasted.

His face was crumpled in the utmost pain, and a little more venom escaped the corner of his mouth. He sucked it back in with another dry sob, and sputtered in the venom.

I leaned back on the table, and closed my eyes. "I'm ready, Edward. I love you." I choke-whispered through the tears.

"You can't imagine-" he was over taken by a venom-filled sob once more, reducing his words to shaky blubbering, "-h-how m-m-much I love y-you B-Bella." He leaned down to hover over me.

My pulse raced, and every instinct I had in my body screamed run! but yet I lay there, unable to move, and bawling my eyes out now, with the largest amount of sadness I have ever felt in my entire life. To see Edward like this was completely unbearable. How selfish I was to make him do this. I wanted to stand up and call the whole thing off, just to make him stop, but I knew that neither of us would ever feel complete until this was done.

How could you. I accused myself. I was such a horrible person to cause this to such an amazing creature. I opened my eyes, just in time to see a forbidden tear drop from his face. I was stunned. Edward, my beautiful loving Edward was so incredibly in pain that venom escaped his eyes instead of saltwater. The drop of evil hit my collarbone and burned awfully.

He leaned down all the way now, to my throat, and sputtered one last sentence, "I love you." During which, his voice cracked multiple times, and was rough and hoarse with agony. "Don't you ever forget that." He added with the same vocal outcomes. His lips were brushing my now heavily pulsing jugular vein in my throat.

I felt his tightly clenched teeth on it. Not biting. They painfully slowly parted, and he lurched with another ripping sob, and coughed with choking afterward. His teeth closed around my neck, but not applying any pressure. I heard a quick clack of his teeth closing on each other and felt a sharp pain where they had just been seconds ago. He drooled some venom into the bite. I writhed violently with the intense burning that was now spreading through that main artery. The next pains came to my wrists, and a few more on my neck in different places, but all were blindingly fast compared to the first.

His arms were around me in an instant.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," he repeated over and over again with the same sobbing, hoarse, raspy, bubbling voice. The one thing I noticed through the bites, was that never once did his tongue touch the wound his teeth had inflicted, and absolutely no sucking sensation was felt. The only blood he tasted was that on his teeth from the biting.

My arms were ripping at his clothing with the writhing from the fire that now burned within me.

"I love you." Was the last thing that escaped my lips before all went dark, and all I could feel were what seemed to be the very fires of Hell burning inside me. No more Edward, I couldn't see. Not a trace of his eyes or perfect face and figure. I was blind with pain, that was all I could focus on.

I couldn't even feel his arms around me, just pain, but I was positive they were there, because through my writhing, every now and then a flailing limb would be stopped by what seemed to be a brick wall. My favorite brick wall.

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A/N: Wow. Did anyone else have tears in their eyes while reading that? Hah, I did while I was writing it, but that's because I'm a sap hehe. Well, well.. I don't really know where the whole venom-crying thing came from, but it seemed probable if it was provoked so. Awwww poor Edward! Don't worry, I'm almost done torturing him, and the next chapter will be in his point of view. Tell me everything you think!! So… Until next time!

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