I watched the entire Gohan Vs. Cell fight yesterday and I couldn't help but get this idea in my mind. I haven't read too many fics that are centered on this fight when it comes to Gohan's feelings (that I've seen) and so I decided to write one myself.

(Written in Gohan's POV)

I don't own DBZ!


You were so confident in me dad, I knew I would let you down.

I don't have the same feelings about myself because I'm not a fighter like you. I'm part of the Saiyan race, but I'm not as ruthless nor do I have the ambition to fight. I've always grown up to protect and cherish life. Even when Raditz first took me, I didn't want to fight. I was forced into this world full of bloodshed and insanity because of him.

Even when I needed to train to get stronger, I could never find it in me to kill my enemies.

I'd have my moments where the Saiyan blood in me would be stronger than the human part of me. And I'd give in because the only thing that mattered to me was my friends. But, after the adrenaline wore off, I'd go back to being that scared, weak child who needed protection.

Even at this moment, as Cell crushes me within his iron grip, I don't feel like killing him. He knows about my hidden strength, and instead of heeding to my warnings, he's trying to force it out of me.

But dad… I don't want to give in. I… I don't want to feel that rush I get when my power takes over. It's scary, not being in control of my actions. I'm not like you or Vegeta, who can control that urge. You two are pure blooded Saiyans, while I'm only half. I may be as strong as you say I am, but I don't feel that way…

I may have learned how to be a Super Saiyan at a young age, but that doesn't mean I can control it nor does it mean I'm stronger than you. I will never be like you, dad. I still don't understand how you have the confidence in yourself even when the odds are against you.

I don't understand why you're standing there, letting Cell crush me into pieces. I won't unleash my hidden power. Cell thinks he can stop me when he feels like he's had enough, but that's just the thing…

No one will be able to stop me.

Dad… Please save me from this nightmare. I don't want to fight this guy, this monster that threatens the planet. I just want to be back at home with you and mother, having a normal day with Bulma and Krillin. I would do anything to go back to those times.

Father…

Please don't let me do this.

I'm not the son you dreamed of having. I'm not a hero, and I certainly can't protect everyone like you can. Father, please understand. I may be a Saiyan, but I'm also just an eleven year old boy, and I'm not ready for this responsibility.

I may have this power, but what's the point in it if I can't protect you, protect everyone, with it? I don't know how to draw it out without losing myself to it. I love everyone, and I certainly love you.

That's why I'm holding back.

I'm scared that once I unleash this power, you won't love me anymore. I'm not ready to lose you dad, and I don't want to lose you to my powers.

I love you dad…

But I don't want to do this.

I don't want to be a hero.

I just want to be your son.