Title: Lingo

Word count: 551

Warnings: It's basically crack.

Author's note:

Written for another idea on Tumblr. Submitted by Futilejubilee on theavengersheadcanons

Steve's library card from the freaking 40's, amazingly enough, is still good, so he spends a lot of time at the library. Most recently, he checked out a few books on modern slang, so he could be more up to speed with the others. The only thing more horrifying than hearing him say, "For shizzy, home skillet," is the fact that he taught it to Thor as well.


The first time that the words came out of Steve's mouth, the laughter could be heard all across the Pacific.

The Avengers, as they had collectively become known as, were sitting down at their favourite restaurant. Shawarma, something which might possible had started out as a joke, had now become a regular thing on Friday nights. It was such a Friday night when it first happened.

"Wanna beer Steve?"

"For Shizzy, home skillet!"

In retrospect, it would have been an interesting story of how Captain America, paragon of Virtue, had managed to single handedly kill of his teammates. Thankfully, Bruce had kept his skin not-green and his medical wits about him enough to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre on a choking Clint and gently remove the glass out of Natasha's arm, where the shrapnel from Tony's smashed glass had embedded itself. Needless to say, Tony had checked under his bed each night for a month, and had spent the first week of that in Bruce's room, hiding in his bathtub.

After the initial shock had worn off , there was about half an hour of endless laughter, right from the restaurant, all the way back to the S.H.E.I.L.D Air Base, where they had been called for a "super top secret debriefing of secrecy", according to Tony. Even Thor, who didn't really get the joke, and Steve, who was secretly a bit miffed at being laughed at, joined in. Director Fury, was not impressed to see the heroes arrive on his doorstep gasping for breath and after five minutes, he decided that shooting the ceiling with Bruce around was probably not the best idea, sent them to the rec room to calm down a bit. The Avengers were so busy laughing that they didn't notice the half smile on the man's face as they struggled breathlessly to make it down the corridor.

"Now will you tell me what that was all about?" Came the voice of a now unsmiling Director. He gave a pointed look at Tony.

"Woah, don't look at me, it was Capsicle who started it. Though of course you would look at me, wouldn't you? Who wouldn't? Unless you're looking for someone to blame, because it totally wasn't me, in fact, if I didn't know any better I'd say-"

"Cap? Plan to tell me what is going on?" Tony pouted excessively and swore revenge at being interrupted, but Cap answered anyway with a shrug.

"I was just trying to get caught up y'know? My library card works, and I had some down time. It seemed logical to familiarise myself with the new lingo, in case I had to do an undercover mission or something. I guess I screwed up a bit?"

Even Fury couldn't be upset with a puppy-dog-eyed all-American Hero.

"All right. Just keep it under control next time, you hear me?" He gave a hard look around the room.

"I understand, Director Fury. You're totes kawaii, or so I am of the understanding."

"CAP!" They all yelled in unison, gaping at the Norse God.