I wake up beside Mom, I didn't even realise that I'd crawled in beside her last night. Hearing Buttercup's heavy breathing, telling me that he's close by, I relax a bit. But its reaping day, I'll be on edge all day long. I peel the cover off myself rubbing furiously at my eyes. I cannot afford to get upset, I have to stay strong. If not for me, for Katniss and Mom. With a quick glance around the room I see she's not here. Sighing I pad over to the table to see if she took the cheese I left for herself and Gale.
Katniss always goes out hunting with Gale. At first I was scared when she would leave. Frightened because what would happen if she got caught? Or ate the wrong berry? How would she protect herself from bigger prey? I stayed at home worrying. Sometimes crying, my mother would try and tell me that Katniss has Dad's blood, that the forest runs through her veins. Now, of course, I know that is true. I don't know why I ever worried. I've only seen Katniss in action a few times, but wow it's like a switch goes on when she picks up that bow. Katniss never misses her target.
Mom snaps me out of my daydream. She is calling for Dad again. This really breaks my heart and I try to find something to do. Dad's mirror is filthy again but I'm trying to distract myself from him. It's not working. I get to work on the mirror but I guess it's pointless. I have to keep wiping my tears away from the glass. Finally I get the job done. I put it back in its place and turn to go pet Buttercup, who, I assume, is still on the bed. He's not. Mom is though. Sitting up and staring at me, she lets out a soft whimper. I run to her side and she pulls me onto her lap. We hug each other and cry.
I pull away from Mom and go to the sink. I splash my face with water and I see black residue run from my face. I must have wiped my eyes with my coal stained hands. I've been washing my face for what feels like an eternity when I've had enough, my face is still filthy but I don't actually care. That stupid mirror. All it brings is pain. My mother is shrieking at me. I look to my hand. I'm holding the mirror above my head about to throw it to the floor. Carefully I put it down and storm out of the house. With no place in mind, I walk.
An hour later I'm back outside the front door. I take a few breaths to ready myself and shove the door open. Mom is pouring what looks like the last of the water needed into the bath. I'm about to apologise for earlier but she stops me with a tight hug. "It's okay Prim. You are so brave. I know this is hard on you. It's your first Reaping and I'm so sorry you had to wake up to no one today." She smiles at me but I can tell it's forced because it doesn't reach her eyes. "You know the odds are in your favour, Primrose Everdeen." I laugh at her Capitol accent, you'd think she was Effie Trinket.
We wash ourselves up in the bath. I see Katniss' first Reaping outfit and look to Mom biting my lip. A ruffled blouse and skirt. Both are too big for me, I know because I tried it on a few months ago when mother and Katniss were out, but I don't say anything to Mom. She'll figure it out soon enough. Five minutes later I have the outfit on and countless pins all over keeping it in place. Except for the back of my shirt which keeps popping out. I go outside to check on Lady. A gentle breeze picks up and ruffles her bow. I keep forgetting to buy a new ribbon for her. Once that faded dusty pink bow was a bright bubblegum colour and it didn't look so solemn. But I'm attached to it now, it's the once Katniss bought for her.
When I get back in Mother is ready to go. She looks beautiful in her old apothecary dress. Her blonde hair, so similar to mine, is pulled back from her face. She looks so calm. How is she doing it? She steps forward and starts to braid my hair, this is the most comforting thing she has done for me all day. It's my normal style. Two braids, one on either side. When my hair is done my mother places her hands on my cheeks and tells me that I look perfect. My cheeks start to burn and she laughs.
I smell Katniss before I hear her. I love the way Katniss smells after hunting, the damp, musty scent of the forest is amazing. But today she smells like fresh grass too. Gale must have brought her to the Meadow. I turn to face her and smile, which she returns. I'm the only person I've ever seen Katniss smile at. Maybe she smiles outside the house, but I doubt it. Mom and I busy ourselves with chores that we've made up to give Katniss some time to get ready for the Reaping. I go out to lady again and when I come back I'm surprised to see her in one of Mom's old apothecary dresses. It's so simple but incredibly pretty and unexpectedly brings out Katniss' grey eyes. I wish I looked like Katniss, she is so like Daddy...
Katniss scares me, I must have not been paying attention at all because her hair is now in a really complicated braided pattern, by saying "And nothing like myself," and tucking my blouse back in to my skirt. Did I say something to her? "Tuck your tail in little duck," she says and I quack at her. "Quack yourself," she replies and laughs. I think I'm the only person who can make Katniss laugh too. She tells me to eat , we can't eat anymore than tessera grain and Lady's milk because our appetite has vanished. It's so quiet in the room but we just sit there listening to outside noises and each other breathing.
At one we head toward the town square. My stomach is doing somersaults. Katniss has to practically drag me along. Oh god, I think I'm going to be sick. There are camera crews everywhere, the more of them I see the more slick my palms become. I wish that weren't the case because I never want to let go of my sister's hand. But I have to now. There's the section for twelve year olds. My eyes are stinging. I want Dad. I'm seeing Katniss walking away. I look to my hands, if I didn't know better I would think that I'm having spasms. I can't even make my thoughts make sense. Everything is jumpy. All I know is that I'm terrified.
I see the large glass balls on the stage. My name is only in there once. But Katniss, Katniss has her name on twenty of those little pieces of paper. Only then do I see Effie Trinket with her pink hair and spring green suit looking to Mayor Undersee, to the clock, to an empty chair and back to the mayor. I realize Haymitch Abernathy is missing. The clock strikes two, the mayor stands at the podium and begins his reading of the history of Panem. I've lost all interest. In everything, I'm not feeling scared now. It's so strange.
The only thing that catches my attention is Mr. Abernathy. You can tell he's drunk, like every year. But today he manages to fall headfirst off the stage. The crowd cringes, some stifle laughter. Ahead I can see Katniss and Gale smiling at each other. I don't know how Gale is sticking it. His name is in the bowl fourty-two times. I'm worried for him more than anyone now. My fear is still replaced by the odd calmness that came with me stepping into place with the rest of the twelve year olds. I hear Effie saying "Ladies first!" before seeing her step over to the ball. She pulls out the slip of paper. In the silence I can hear her say the name perfectly. I'm going into the Games.
