**A/N** I just couldn't resist answering to this challenge. A couple of the Romance Novel excerpts were snitched from a 'personalize your own romance novel' site, but I'll be devising more of my own later. ::evil grin:: Anyway, there is much more to come, so enjoy! I might snitch a few titles from various romance authors, but all of the ones in this chapter are ones that I'm ashamed to have to take credit for. Heh. Have fun and give me lots of feedback! If you have any suggestions, feel free to email them to me! You might run across one of your own titles or excerpts if you do! (LadyDrake33@yahoo.com or IM Bookish Gnostic) ~~

*A rut in the road caused the carriage to lurch violently and Lady Manirva was flung backward, her hands grasping for the satin upholstery over her head. But again it was Albert that saved the day, catching Manirva up in his arms as the carriage careened over the rut, righting itself onto the pathway.

Gathered in a reckless embrace Manirva clung desperately to Albert , golden tassels twisted against the length of her fingers in one hand, greying locks of his hair in the other. In the midst of her own ill considerations of him, she discovered in fear that she relished the heated touch of this bold Marquis... more than what the love of another man would readily grant forgiveness.

Manirva lost the strength to ask that Albert stop as his lips reached the delicate curve of her neck. She felt his royal hands explore her bare legs beneath the cover of her gown. Beyond all sense of reason, his lips met with hers, eager for her unforeseen delicacies...

~~

"This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read! I love it!" Hermione Granger crowed, no longer able to read aloud to her friend Ginny through her giggles. The two girls were spending the Saturday in Hermione's room-- as Head Girl, she had it all to herself.

"You know you love it!" Ginny sighed. "I wish I could meet the man who writes those... I bet he's kind, and sensitive, and romantic, and--"

"Gay," Hermione finished, cocking an eyebrow. "Any guy who could come up with a romance plot like this has to be gay. Besides, no one knows who he is--Robert Normans is just a pen name. Both the wizarding and muggle worlds are still trying to figure out who he is!"

"How do you know so much about this topic, Hermione?" Ginny asked slyly. "I have a feeling that you've read books besides this one," she smirked and held up the well-worn copy of 'Marquis of Hearts.'

"You know what?" Hermione snapped playfully. "Fine. I'll admit it. I'm addicted to sappy romance novels! Can you really blame me, considering that my choices are limited to Ron, Seamus, Dean, and Neville?" Ginny grinned, knowing that thanks to her, Harry was spoken for. "I'm a hopeless romantic, which means that I'll probably never achieve any sort of satisfying relationship because there simply isn't a mysterious, intelligent, romantic, interesting guy out there for me to snatch up! Forgive me for being forced to turn to crappy romances in order to make myself feel better!"

Ginny laughed and gave Hermione a comforting look. "Fine, fine, now read me some more of that! I want to find out what happens!" Hermione rolled her eyes and obliged her friend.

~~

*. . . . rose petals lay scattered across the bed and the sweet scent of roses overwhelmed them. Albert slowly moved his hand, tracing the gentle slant of her shoulder, the delicate curve of her neck and the sweep of her jaw. Softly, Albert brushed a lock of dark, velvety brown hair from her forehead as he looked into her breath-taking chocolate eyes. "We've already wasted so many nights," Albert admitted, gathering Manirva in his strong arms. Manirva gazed back, and in a whisper replied, "What is but one night in the history of England, my lord...' Albert finished the sentence, "...but another night stolen from our bed." Manirva could feel the beating of his heart and the warmth of his desire surround her. She reached up and tilted his head, bringing him closer, his mouth a breath away as she uttered the words that would keep Albert with her, warmly by her side for the length of the night and forever. . . .*

~~

"I'm sorry, Hermione," Ginny said as she burst out laughing. "I just can't take this anymore!" Hermione tried to frown disapprovingly, but her mouth betrayed her with a wide grin. Soon both girls were laughing hysterically. "I'm going to get 'When Hell Freezes Over' and 'Slow Burn Wrapped in Silk Sheets' for next weekend. We're going to make this into a ritual!"

~~

"Sybill, this book is priceless!" shrieked McGonagall as she snatched the copy of 'Fire and Lightning.' The other professors eyed them warily, and Snape seemed a little more peeved than usual. McGonagall started to read aloud:

"May I convey to you how much I ardently admire and love you? When my heart beats, it does so for you. I take pleasure in every breath because I know that somewhere you are breathing the same air." Soon Professors Vector, Sprout, and Hooch had gathered around the book and were enthusiastically fawning over it. "Gerald ran a hand through Harriet's fiery hair as he kissed her, no longer caring that they might be discovered."

"This is so romantic! Harriet and Gerald are so perfect for each other! And Gerald's scar has got to be so manly and sexy." Hooch squealed (huskily). "If only I could meet the man who comes up with these. I'd do anything to date him!" Snape snorted, and McGonagall looked up irritably.

"You have no room to talk Severus! The day you can dream of anything even vaguely pleasant to do for a women, I will believe that the Four Founders are once again walking the earth and that your Slytherin brats are willingly intermingling with my Gryffindors." Dumbledore chuckled, and Severus only sneered more viciously.

"So, ladies, have any of you read 'Too Many Layers'? That one was always a favorite of mine." Dumbledore made his way over to the women and was soon sighing over the book just as they were. "However," he added, "I always did identify the most with 'Marquis of Hearts.'"

Moments later, even Flitwick and Lupin had made their way over to the romance readers, and Hagrid was sobbing sentimentally. "It's so beautiful!" he sniffled. Severus looked like he was going to retch.

No one noticed when the Potions Master snorted softly, rose, and exited the Great Hall as quickly as he possibly could.