9. "I don't ever want to sleep again. What if– what if I dream about that again?"

Peridot sat in front of the tv, her face mere inches from it. Bags had formed under her eyes, and despite the fact that she was a gem, not needing sleep, she looked utterly exhausted.

"Peridot?"Steven called out, walking into the barn. It had been a few days since he had visited her, and thought he would check up on his favorite green gem. He would have called out for Lapis as well, but she was busy exploring Earth, probably on the search for more trash to make 'meep morps'.

When Steven heard the reruns of Camp Pining Hearts, he knew where to find Peridot. It was late in the evening, so he would need to head back soon, but since he hadn't seen her in a whole, he felt a bit guilty.

He climbed up to where the tv was, a truck that Lapis and her had somehow mended into the wall. Of course, Peridot did have her newly found metal power, but that had still seemed crazy.

"Peridot!" Steven called again when he was up in the truck. Peridot jumped slightly when she heard him, and turned around, only to see that it was Steven.

"Oh, hello Steven." She said turning the tv off suddenly, probably embarrassed for having been caught watching reruns, though she knew Steven wouldn't have judged her. Steven chuckled at the display of embarrassment, but didn't point it out.

"I wanted to come check on you guys, but I knew Lapis wouldn't be here, how are you doing?" He asked, suddenly noticing the tired look on Peridot's face. He had never seen her tired before, so it seemed very unfitting, and almost kind of gross, though he would never tell her that.

"Fine, just fine." Peridot grumbled in response, rolling her eyes as if this was the biggest inconvenience of her day. Steven was taken aback a bit, but tried to press through the rudeness.

"You've had the whole barn to yourself for two days, how has that been?" He asked her a bit more cautiously this time, not wanting to offend her. Peridot looked over the side of the truck suddenly, rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah…" She mumbled, before sitting down in front of Steven, her chin rested on her knees. Steven could tell something was bothering her, but was unsure if he should mention it. He didn't want to upset Peridot, nor did he want her angry with him for noticing, but he couldn't stand to see his friend like this.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, scooting a bit closer. Peridot looked away, trying to avoid his looks. She had no problem telling Steven what was wrong, he somehow always found out anyways.

"You know that thing where humans close their eyes for hours and just lay still?" Peridot asked, looking at him to make sure she wasn't just spewing randomness and he did, in fact, understand. Steven was confused a moment, before realizing what she meant, a wave of recognition falling over him.

"Oh, sleeping! Yeah, humans do that pretty often." He said with a slight chuckle. Peridot nodded, happy to be understood.

"Well, after a long night of practicing my amazing metal powers, and Lazuli helping me develop a meep morp, I found myself having a hard time keeping my eyes open." She used normal Peridot speech, but Steven could tell something was off. Peridot seemed almost sad. He frowned as she continued.

"After a while I guess I ended up doing sleeping, because I don't remember being conscious." She explained, but suddenly she gripped her body, holding herself tightly, as if something bad was happening. Steven grew worried, and began to reach out to her, but she continued on.

"But I started hallucinating during the sleeping, and it was…"

Hallucinating? Did she mean dreaming?

"Did you have a nightmare?" Steven asked. Peridot looked at him, confused, as if she could know what that meant. It sounded like some kind of horse that only came out at night.

"I don't know." She mumbled, looking away again. "It was almost real, like, it could have happened, but when I gained consciousness again, it hadn't really happened at all!" Peridot threw her hands into the air in frustration, before falling onto her back. The sun was setting, leaving the sky in a red and orange state. Peridot didn't like sunsets. She prefered the blue sky and white gaseous fluffs in it. Sunsets were too yellow.

Steven didn't know what to do. He felt awful for Peridot, even if he didn't know exactly what had happened. But she seemed so distraught by it. Steven crawled over and laid beside her, staring up at the sky as well.

They were silent for a moment, before Steven finally spoke up again, wanting to help in some way.

"What did you dream about?" Steven asked, before realizing she wouldn't recognize that word.

"I mean, what was your hallucination?" He clarified. Peridot bit the inside of her cheek, and looked to the other side of the truck, avoiding his looks, her hands forming fists as she thought about it.

"I was back on Homeworld." She started, not really wanting to recall it, but also wanting to get it off her chest.

"Yellow Diamond was angry with me, telling me that Jasper had somehow returned to Homeworld and told them where I was. I guess she was uncorrupted in this, I don't know…"

"But they somehow got me, and they asked me about the cluster, and I told them that it was defeated. She got really angry. She sent the other Peridot's in to grab me."

"There are other Peridots?" Steven interrupted. He supposed he should have known. She had practically told him before, but the thought of it was still so strange. How could there be any other gem like Peridot?

"Yes, Steven, there are a plenty of them." She said, rolling her eyes at his lack of knowledge. But she sighed suddenly, and looked at him. "The Crystal Gems, they were in it too." She explained. Steven smiled slightly.

"Did they kick Yellow Diamond's butt?" He asked, trying to bring some humor into it, but Peridot seemed so distraught, he realized the joke was ill timing. "Ah, sorry, continue."

Peridot closed her eyes slightly. "I told you guys to go back to Earth, but you wouldn't listen. You all tried to fight the Peridot's, but somehow, Garnet got poofed, and Pearl was stunned. I don't remember what happened to Amethyst, but she was gone too." Peridot sat up slightly, hugging her legs. Steven sat up as well, and that's when he realized she was on the verge of tears.

"Then I looked at you, and you were still fighting, and you looked at Yellow Diamond." She closed her eyes.

"But then you looked back at me and you said that I should be shattered." She said, shaking her head. "I don't know why you said that, but you told Yellow Diamond to let you and Garnet go, and you would leave the other's. You would leave me."

Steven was stunned into silence. He looked at Peridot with hurt eyes. A part of him was appalled that she would even dream this about him. Never in a million years would he do that to her or Pearl or Amethyst. He cared about them all way too much. But the other part of him knew that Peridot was only scared of being caught. She didn't want to have to be faced with her betrayal. If she did, she knew she WOULD be shattered.

Steven had no idea what to say. He opened his mouth twice to speak, but nothing fell out. Peridot had calmed down a bit, sighing slightly, before looking back at Steven.

"I'm sorry, I know you would never do that." She said, before looking back up at the sky again. "But I know they are looking for me, for Jasper, and for the Crystal Gems." She said, before looking back at Steven. "If they got us, they'd destroy me on the spot for defying my diamond." She said. She bowed her head low, and Steven's heart hurt.

"I won't let that happen to you Peridot." He said, looking at her with serious eyes, but Peridot merely shrugged.

"What could you do to stop it? If Yellow Diamond did get us, then we are finished." She said, but Steven refused to hear it.

"No! She won't get us. None of them will." He said, before taking Peridot's hand. "I promise you Peri, they'd have to get through me before they could get to you." He explained, forcing a small smile. Peridot wasn't exactly comforted, since Steven was pretty easy to hurt, but she smiled back slightly anyways, knowing he meant well.

"Thank you Steven." She said, before rubbing her eyes. She knew it was inevitable, that Yellow Diamond would send more people to look for them, but she really did have a little faith in the other Gems.

Steven smiled, before hugging the green gem. Peridot blushed slightly, but accepted the hug, before pulling away after a moment.

"You need to go home, aren't you supposed be sleeping soon?" She asked, noticing that the sun had fully set, and stars were in the sky. Steven looked up as well, and noticed chuckled slightly.

"Yeah, I probably should, but are you going to be okay alone?" He asked, suddenly worried about Peridot. She seemed really scared, and he didn't want her to be petrified all the time. Peridot looked down a moment, before blushing again.

"Uh, maybe I could go back to your bathroom?" She asked, making Steven laugh slightly.

"Sure, come on." He said, before crawling to the end of the truck and climbing down, Peridot following behind him.