Crossroads

As the cars sped by, intermittent bursts of wind touched my face. The cool evening air felt refreshing. People walked up and down the streets, all looking down, either at their phones or the pavement. I stood alone, huddled underneath the striped awning of a café. I brought the straw up to my lips, and took a long sip of the iced coffee. It tasted bitter, but most of the strength of the liquid is masked by the milk. I looked at the cup with irritation, wondering if there was any sugar in it. Just then, I felt a small vibration in my pocket. I reached for my phone, checking for new notifications. Unsurprisingly, I had received a text message.

Meet in the park, see you then.

I looked up from my phone, taking in my surroundings. The buzz of traffic rung in my ears, and streaks of orange and purple covered the sky. It was growing dark, and I needed to get to the park soon. I found an opening in the stream of pedestrians, and became a face in the crowd. It felt good, to lose yourself in the streets like this. Going in a single direction with countless others, all headed to unknown places. My eyes drifted to the other side of the road, eyeing the bakery I passed many times before. It was the place where we had spent our best times. We could have drank tea in there for hours, always smiling and laughing. The door flew open, and out stormed a man. Was he upset at someone? I supposed it was none of my business and kept going ahead. The colors of the sky melded together, slowly and gently, until a rich indigo remained above the city. Just as the sun had finished setting, it felt as if the city had taken on a new atmosphere, one that was harsher and filled with uncertainty. I began to grow chilly, and buttoned up my cardigan even further.

"Time to head to the park, I guess." I muttered under my breath.

After crossing the street, I stepped underneath the entryway to the park. Wrapped in the glow of the stringed lights, the trees provided all the light I needed. I saw some couples on the benches, some hugging, others chatting. I smiled upon seeing them, and remembered those instances I would have that person. From the east, I heard the bells of the shrine ring steady and clear. Nozomi? I brushed the hair out of my face, and discarded the thought. Everyone had known what happened to them after graduation. It was our choice to disband, and we stuck with it. Yet, there I was, about to meet her again.

I could see her on standing near the fountain, her back towards me. She was hunched over her phone, probably trying to ask where I was. A faint smile broke across my face, much to my surprise.

"Nico-chan!" I called out, in an enthusiastic tone.

She turned around, and her eyes lit up. Nico ran towards me at full speed, and wrapped her arms around me. We embraced for a brief moment, both of us remembering the days we spent together.

"M-Maki-chan," she said, her voice tinged with nostalgia. "It's good to see you again."

"You, too. Do you want to sit down?" I asked, wanting to rest my feet.

Nico nodded, and we took the nearest one, next to the fountain. We heard the lapping of the water against the stone fountain, it was soothing in a way. I motioned for her to sit. It was not long before we broke into chatter.

"University is so boring! I don't even see Eli-chan or Nozomi-chan anymore…" Nico said with a sigh of annoyance.

"So? You should be studying, if I were you." I replied with a bit of sarcasm.

"Oh, really? If you were me? Didn't we already try that once?"

We laughed upon remembering that, when we were still together. It had almost felt like just a few days ago we were still practicing for an upcoming concert. Those days were behind us, though, and it was time I moved on. Despite my best efforts to move past my idol days, I always came back to those days with everyone else. Was there a part of me that still longed for it? I quickly dodged my eyes from Nico to hide my feelings.

"Eh? What's wrong, Maki-chan?" She said.

"It's nothing," I said with a sigh. "Well, I just miss the old days."

Nico looks toward the fountain, her eyes getting misty. I think she longed for the old days, too.

"I know we're not together anymore, but that shouldn't affect your passions." She said in a determined voice.

I was taken aback by her suddenly stern expression and directness. Where was this Nico a year ago? I wondered. My personal musings aside, Nico's words reverberated within me. I stood at a crossroads, I could either give up on music and my idol days altogether, or keep going. My brow furrowed, and I felt Nico's hand over my own. My head spun to face hers, and a warm smile greeted me. It was reassuring, and I could not help but tear up. I felt as if Nico had truly understood me, and it was me this time who reached for her. Our hug lasted longer this time, but it felt more genuine.

"Thank you, Nico-chan." My voice felt weak, but I truly meant it.

"Nico-nico-ni!" She replied, holding back the tears of joy.

After parting ways, it was then I realized what to do. No longer was I bound to these crossroads anymore. As I left the park, I walked with a more determined step. I felt rejuvenated and full of inspiration. I ran all the way home, my head brimming with ideas. I flew through the doorstep to my house, and the door slammed behind me. I heard a small gasp from the kitchen, it was my mother.

"Maki? Is that you? What are you doing out so late?!" she called out.

"Sorry, Mama!" I said half-heartedly, sitting down at the piano.

I pulled the cover back, looking at the row of white and black keys. Then, I began to play. This time, though, it felt different from before. My emotions were being poured out through the keys, a familiar melody ringing throughout the house. As my hands glided along the piano, I felt the tears roll down my cheeks. It was cathartic, to let it all out. The memories of the past came flooding back, seeing the faces of the girls streaming past. When the music reached its crescendo, it was then I realized I was no longer bound to these crossroads. Was it Nico's guidance that helped me out of this rut? Whatever it was, I felt relieved and inspired once more. My mother stood in the threshold, a small smile forming. She saw that I had returned to my old self as well.

The next day, at school, I entered the music room. It felt a little stuffy, but it was like stepping back in time. I sighed, and slowly sat down at the piano. I traced my fingers gingerly over the keys, the coolness of them spreading upwards into my hands. I took out my notes from last night, and set them on the rest. I took a slow breath, and let the music play. The warm melody spread through the room, and it was not long until I heard the door slide open. I immediately stopped playing. In my peripheral, I saw a timid figure standing in the doorway.

"Maki-chan?" Hanayo's quavering voice got my attention.

"Hmm, what is it Kayo-chin?" I answered back, my eyes did not lift from the piano.

"A-ah, well, I heard the piano playing and I thought it had to be you. It's been silent ever since graduation, you know."

My eyes widened. I looked up at Hanayo, my face brightened.

"Yes, I suppose you're right. I had a revelation a while ago."

"Really? What is it?" Hanayo's face began to lighten, a twinkle formed in her eyes.

"I'm ready... to begin composing again."

Hanayo let out a small gasp, and she ran out of the room. She must have be going to Rin, to tell her the news. I giggled quietly, and looked back down at the piano. I remembered the times when I was a first year, writing for the first time. Now, I would always remember the feelings and dreams of all of us together. I write for all of μ's. And while I may grow older, I will never forget our time together, everyone.