A/N: Just a little something lighthearted and fun. Assume an established Tuckson relationship, pre-S17. Don't be surprised (and don't hold it against me) if it's OOC…
Pat: Don't think I chose this one accidentally… Cheers! ;)
He's more than a few drinks ahead of her by the time she makes it to the bar tonight, and when he spots her, he stumbles off the barstool and opens his arms to her, a lazy grin finding it's way to his face.
She raises her eyebrows and smiles at him, amused. She's never seen him like this before. He's…silly. Not a word that usually comes to mind when describing him. As he wraps his arms around her, her eyes drift to the bartender, and he gives her a look that screams, save me!
They pull apart and Ed literally plops back onto the stool, slurring to the bartender to get his girl a drink. She stands and watches the spectacle before her that is Drunk Ed Tucker. He notices she's not sitting next to him, and pats the stool excitedly. "Sit, sit!"
"How many have you had, Ed?" she asks, laughing softly, sitting down.
"Ah, who knows?" he waves his arms dismissively. "Whatever."
She shakes her head, and orders bourbon on the rocks with a grateful and slightly apologetic smile to the bartender. "How long ago did Cole leave?"
"Cole?" He sounds confused, like he doesn't know whom she is talking about.
She raises her eyebrows and cocks her head. "Your partner?"
"Oh, Cole!" He nods, and she leans her head toward him, expectantly, waiting for his answer. "Wait…what was the question?"
She appraises him, smiling. "Maybe you should slow down, Ed." She wouldn't have minded getting drunk tonight, but he is so bombed right now, and she knows that one of them should probably be coherent.
He chatters excitedly, and all she can do is look on in disbelief, because she can't really keep up with his changes in topic and she's pretty sure she's never heard him say so many words in one sitting before.
"And he said," he stops to try to breathe, but he's laughing so hard he can't, "He said wottle bater!" He wheezes, launching into another round of hysterical laughter, which for Ed looks more like physical pain. He looks at her, and when she's not doubled over in hysterics like he is, he tries to explain. "Wottle bater? Instead of water bottle?"
She humors him, "Oh! Funny!" It's funny, but not that funny.
…
Ed Tucker is a giggly drunk. She will have to strain to not use this for evil. She mimes slicing her neck with her hand to the bartender when Ed isn't paying attention, cutting him off, and the man behind the bar nods in agreement.
No more for Ed.
He orders another round and the bartender ignores him, but Ed is already focusing on her, so he doesn't realize. He is staring at her, mystified, and she looks confused. "Something on my face?"
His eyes lock on hers, "You are so," he touches her face, "so beautiful."
She smiles and looks away suddenly shy. "And you," she places her hand on his leg, "are so very drunk."
"That may be," he agrees, chuckling. His tone almost sounds wistful. "Doesn't make it less true."
His hands find their way to her thighs, and he turns her so their knees bump. He's inching further and further into her personal space, and she thinks he might finally be sobering up just a little, but his eyes are still cloudy.
He's staring at her lips. "I want to kiss you," he declares, matter-of-factly.
"I can see that," she laughs, but she makes no move to get closer to him. She's making him work for it.
"I really, really want to kiss you."
Her eyes scan his face; his haven't left her lips. When she speaks, her voice is a husky whisper. "I'm not gonna stop you. You want to kiss me, then do it," she shrugs, challenging him.
He smirks in triumph and his eyes flick up to hers, finally, before he leans in. It feels like it takes him forever to make contact, but when he does, she moans softly, just enough for him to feel the vibration against his lips. Her hand goes to his face and she takes control of the kiss.
Let's be honest, though. How much control did he really have?
She is opening his mouth with her tongue and tasting the bourbon he's been drinking tonight. He whimpers in satisfaction, his wish finally being realized.
She pulls away, and smiles when she sees that his eyes are still closed. When he realizes that his mouth is no longer connected to hers, he opens his eyes lazily. He looks dazed.
"I think it's time that I get you home, Captain," she flirts. He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, and she laughs. "Easy there, tiger. Let's see if we can get you there in one piece first."
After she makes sure his tab is covered, she wraps an arm around his waist, holding on to his hand when he wraps his arm around her shoulders in return. He is staggering, unsteady on his feet, but she holds tightly to him and they move slowly out of the bar and onto the street.
The apartment is not far from here and she opts to walk over just taking a cab, hoping that the movement will be sobering for him. If she keeps a good grip on him and they don't move too quickly, they should make it without incident.
He spots an alley coming up and he steers her into it. Not far, just enough to be out of sight from the street. He pushes her against the brick of a building.
"What are you doing?"
"Shh," he quiets her, and then his mouth covers hers and she sighs into his kiss.
His hands are everywhere.
The man couldn't walk a straight line right now to save his soul, but he finds her nipple to tweak it under two layers of clothing with a precision that astounds her.
A violent-sounding groan escapes from her throat, and this is heading into dangerous territory very rapidly. She doesn't want to know what the headlines would look like: IAB Captain and SVU Lieutenant Arrested for Lewdness, Public Indecency.
It takes effort, but she pulls her mouth from his, grabbing his hands and ceasing their movement. She's out of breath when she whispers, "Wait. Let's just get back home, okay? I don't want to do this here."
He kisses her one more time, chastely, and nods his assent, allowing her to pull him back onto the sidewalk. She gets him back to the apartment, not without stumbling, and they take the elevator up to their floor.
She walks into the apartment, her arm still wrapped firmly around his waist. She smiles at Lucy, who is getting up off the couch. "Hey Luce. Let me just get Drunky here to bed," Olivia quirks her head to Ed. "I'll be right out." His eyelids are getting heavy. He has a stupid-looking grin on his face.
Lucy laughs, taking in his appearance. She's barely seen the IAB Captain crack a smile before. "Okay."
Olivia practically throws him on the bed, and he giggles. He giggles. She rolls her eyes and goes back out to the living room.
"Sorry about that," she apologizes.
"It's totally fine," Lucy waves off her apology. "Is he okay?"
"Just went at the bourbon a little harder tonight. He'll have one hell of a hangover in the morning, but he'll be okay," she assures with a smile. "Did Noah go down alright tonight?"
"Perfectly," Lucy nods. "Good luck with him," she jerks her chin toward the bedroom. "I'll see you Monday."
"Goodnight, Lucy. Get home safe," she closes the door behind her sitter and turns back to the bedroom, turning off lights as she goes.
She's thoroughly surprised when he's not passed out when she gets back. Rather, he's on her the second she crosses the threshold, pushing her against the closed door, kissing her, pulling at her clothes.
"Are you going to remember this in the morning?" she asks breathlessly, pulling his shirt over his head.
He grunts, picking her up and lowering her to the bed before crawling over her. "If I don't, we'll just have to do it again."
##
She's feeding Noah when he staggers out of her bedroom the next morning, rubbing at his eyes. She says softly, but sing-songy, "Good morning, Sunshine."
He grimaces, hands flying to his head as if she's just sounded an air horn in his ear. "Don't shout," he begs in a whisper. "Please, don't shout."
She raises her eyebrows at him and chuckles in amusement. "I was going to ask how you're feeling but I think I just got my answer."
He grumbles, not amused, and pads softly into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. He's sluggish.
She goes to the bathroom, pulling a couple of aspirins from the bottle in her medicine cabinet. She puts them on the kitchen counter in front of him, nodding when he gives her a gruff thanks.
She takes Noah back to his room to get him changed, and when she comes back, Ed is on the couch, feet propped up on her coffee table. His hand is covering his eyes, shielding them from the brightness of the sun that is coming through the windows.
After turning cartoons on for Noah, she takes a seat next to Ed, folding her right leg underneath her and resting her elbow on the back of the couch. "What got into you last night?"
"Bourbon," he answers. "A lot of bourbon."
"Yeah, I caught that," she jokes.
His lips twitch in a faint smile. "You're enjoying this," he observes.
She nods, smiling. "A little bit, yes." She watches him. "I never knew you were such a happy drunk, Ed Tucker. You've been holding out on me."
"I'm just full of surprises," he says, dryly.
"Oh, but you are." He chuckles, and she takes his hand. "Ed, why don't you go back to bed for a while? Drink some water. Noah and I will still be here when you get up, and maybe you'll feel human enough to eat something." She stands, still holding his hand, and he grunts. "Come on, Tucker."
He allows her to pull him up, graciously putting in a bit more effort so she didn't have to lift his dead weight from his motionless position on the couch. She spares a glance back at Noah briefly to make sure he's okay, and then she walks Ed back to the bed. He crawls under the covers and she excuses herself to get him a glass of water.
"Here you go," she says, placing it on the nightstand. He grabs her hand and pulls her down so she's sitting on the edge of the bed.
She runs a hand over the rough hair on his head, leaning down and kissing his forehead. "Get some rest." Moving to stand again, she pauses when he says her name. "Hm?"
"I'm sorry," he whispers sleepily.
"For what?" she asks, curious.
He looks shameful. "You shouldn't have to take care of me when I'm drunk." At her quizzical look, he clarifies. "Your mother."
If she didn't know any better, she would wonder if he was still drunk.
"Ed…I appreciate your thinking about that, but you're comparing apples to oranges," she assures him, running a hand down his arm. "My mother was an awful drunk. An alcoholic," she emphasized. "So, you had a little too much one night… I plan to get you drunk again very soon so I can have a repeat performance." She laughs. "I've never seen you like that before…but I kinda liked it. You're funny," she flirts.
"I'm funny without alcohol," he argues, whining.
She gives him a look that seems to say: No, no you're not. Ed scoffs, rolling his eyes in feigned annoyance at her mockery.
"Ed," she says seriously. "You take care of me and Noah plenty," she assures him. "Last night was finally my turn to pay that back. Don't worry about it and get some rest."
"I love you," he whispers.
She leans down and kisses his lips softly. "I love you, too."
A/N: Not meant to be taken at all seriously…just a plot (or lack thereof) bunny that wouldn't quit. :)
