Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did I would be living the life of luxury and since I don't see any butlers or maids around I clearly do not own it.
Pairing: SasuNaru because someone has to keep the fangirls going during this hard time.
If I had Done It
Naruto…
What could Sasuke possibly say about Naruto?
Well obviously the blond boy is loud and stupid but Sasuke knows the deeper side of Naruto too. He knows that Naruto loves ramen to the point of it being a sick obsession. Just the thought of Naruto's obsession could send Sasuke into a gagging fit, not that anyone besides Sasuke knew this.
Some people feel sad for others, Sasuke feels sick for others.
Sasuke also knows that Naruto's second love is an annoying pink haired girl by the name of Sakura. If it weren't for her being one of Sasuke's fangirls Sasuke would probably see her as one of the few people in the world that weren't labeled as "annoying" but her chances of that were ruined the day he saw little pink hearts in her eyes.
How do girls do it? Sasuke had taken many years of science but he still could not figure out how it was physically possible for a girl's eyes to change shape like that. He couldn't even figure out how Rock Lee managed to create pink heart bubbles out of thin air. It just didn't make any sense.
Anyway… back on topic.
There was a lot Sasuke could say about Naruto but a lot of it wasn't positive except for one thing:
That annoying, loud, stupid, dead last, ramen obsessed, naïve, simple, relentless, nerve wrecking, troublesome, tiring, hopeless, incompetent, oblivious, blunt, weak, oversensitive, emotionally unstable, foolish, over trusting, dense, nosy, incapable, unbelievable, blond, moron had somehow managed to make Sasuke like him. Really like him. Like "like like" him but with more hormones involved and crazy dreams and all the fun stuff that teenagers go through.
Damn Naruto! May all the ramen of the world disappear and leave Naruto starving!
Sasuke kicked a stone as he walked through Konoha.
People would stop and stare at him, which tempted Sasuke to show off some of his fire jutsu. Why didn't people understand body language? You would think in a village of shinobi people would be able to tell by the fact that his hands were shoved into his pants pockets, with his head lowered and his lips set in frown that he was pissed off and wanted to be alone.
But of course he would never be so lucky as to be able to walk down a street without people staring at him.
Why did his luck suck?
It had to be Naruto! Naruto always has the luck! Naruto must somehow be able to steal the luck out of those around him and use it to his advantage.
Sasuke sighed.
He sounded like he was going crazy, which couldn't be good considering what happened with Itachi and the whole massacre of the clan thing.
Nope. Thinking like a crazy person would not help him now.
"Teme!"
Itachi damn it! Sasuke mentally cursed.
Sasuke looked up, maintaining a look of nonchalance when all he wanted to do was grit his teeth, clench his fists, and throw a temper tantrum.
It wasn't fair! Why did crappy stuff always happen to him?
Far off in the crowd, running toward him was the village idiot, aka Naruto, and the idiot was looking beyond furious.
Hmm.
Furious Naruto, plus, Naruto running towards him, equals… Naruto is once again blaming Sasuke for something.
Sasuke wished he wasn't above eye rolling because he really wanted to do it now.
How was it Naruto always managed to find a way to blame Sasuke for everything? Granted, Sasuke always proved Naruto wrong on his assumptions but still! How did Naruto come up with these connections in his head? It's almost as if Naruto were a schizophrenic.
Wait… Maybe Naruto– No! Sasuke would not allow himself to make such judgments about his teammate.
…
Although…
No! Naruto was in no way, shape, or form a schizophrenic!
…At least not until some test are taken to prove otherwise.
"TEME!" Naruto screamed and parted the sea of people with the sheer volume of his voice.
Great now everyone was looking at Sasuke and Naruto. Why couldn't Naruto act like a normal person and calmly pull Sasuke over to a secluded spot to–
Oh dear, and holy massacre of the Uchiha clan! Thank Itachi that Naruto hadn't pulled him aside to a private and secluded area. Sasuke knew what happened to teenagers when left alone! The most ridiculous things would happen that would lead to racing hormones and underage sex that could be seen as rape!
With Sasuke's current… "feelings" for Naruto it would be best not to tempt fate.
"You asshole!" Naruto cried and waved a tan piece of paper over his head as he made his last few stomps towards Sasuke. The two of them were only separated by two feet. Even at such a short distance Sasuke couldn't read the dark scribbles written on the paper but he had a feeling Naruto would tell him the contents of the paper soon enough.
Lowering the paper so it was only inches from Sasuke's face Naruto yelled, "You jerk! Don't toy with my feelings by sending me fake love letters from Sakura! Did you really think I would fall for this? This isn't even her handwriting! I thought I could trust you, Teme, but you're nothing but an arrogant bastard!"
As Naruto's rant continued Sasuke tuned the blond out and let his eyes scan the letter. Naruto wasn't lying when he said the handwriting didn't belong to Sakura. In fact the handwriting looked like….
Sasuke smirked as he recognized the owner of the letter's penmanship.
He scanned the lines of the letter. Each line talked about what "Sakura" was hoping to do with Naruto, such as: hold hands, hug, spend time together, and hopefully kiss.
It was all very shy and innocent sounding.
Sasuke felt like a predator who had just caught his prey. This was exactly what he needed to relieve some stress: a way to express his torturous feelings without the risk of having them thrown back at him, and there was the extra added bonus of messing with Naruto's head.
He ripped the letter from Naruto's hands and feigned annoyance as he glared between it and Naruto, who had finally stopped complaining.
Scanning the crowded street for a place to talk to Naruto, Sasuke spotted an empty park.
Perfect.
Tilting his head towards the direction of the park Sasuke gave a small grunt to tell Naruto to follow him as he made his way to the deserted place.
Forget what he said earlier about secluded places being bad, secluded places were perfect in every way possible.
"What's your problem Teme! Tell me what're planning! I know you wrote this letter and–"
Naruto gulped as Sasuke spun around to face him. The two of them were alone and while normally that wouldn't bother Naruto the smirk decorating Sasuke's face had him nervous.
"Naruto," Sasuke began, letting his voice sound silky, soft, and sweet. The tone of voice clearly put Naruto on edge more and Sasuke had to control the urge to laugh maniacally. "I did not write this letter," he said as he held the letter out in front of him.
"Yeah right!" Naruto interjected.
Sasuke shook his head in amusement. So Naruto was still going to play dumb was he? That made things all the better for Sasuke. "Naruto, if I wanted to trick you into thinking that Sakura sent you a letter the handwriting would be flawless, you would never be able to tell that Sakura hadn't written the letter herself. My sharingan would allow me to copy her penmanship perfectly."
Naruto's confident and angry expression seemed to falter at this. However seconds later the anger was back. "Oh yeah? How do I know you didn't copy her handwriting perfectly on purpose?"
This was delicious. Naruto didn't even see the trap Sasuke had set for him.
Sasuke took a step closer to Naruto, never losing an ounce of confidence on his face. "Because Naruto," Sasuke dragged the name of his prey out for dramatic effect. "If I had written this letter it would not be filled with the same content that is mentioned on it."
"Wha- What?" Naruto stuttered. A tiny tint of red was beginning to show on Naruto's cheeks and Sasuke knew his teammate had caught on to his implication but had yet to accept it. With this in mind Sasuke took another step towards Naruto, who took a step back.
"If I had written this letter Naruto," Sasuke drew out the name again, this time earning a sheepish wince from his victim, "Your entire body would have turned red from an array of different emotions." Sasuke took another step forward and Naruto took another step back.
Never would Sasuke use the word "cute" to describe Naruto, but as his teammate inched further away from him Sasuke was reminded of a wounded and scared animal. This vulnerable side appealed to Sasuke.
As Naruto tried to take another step away from him Sasuke reacted without thinking. He grabbed Naruto and pulled him into a dark and possessive embrace. With one hand wrapped around Naruto's waist and the other placed tightly on the back of Naruto's throat Sasuke let his breath tickle the inside of Naruto's ear.
Sasuke could hear Naruto's panicking heart pounding and he chuckled dryly.
"No," Sasuke laughed, "if I had done it you would never be the same again. I would tell you how perfect our bodies would fit together. How it would feel with me straddling you and how no matter how many times we became one it would never be satisfying enough. You'd desire me as much as I desire you. The heat and passion would be felt by all but understood by only you and me. Even a simple gesture like a kiss would have so much passion behind it that it would leave all who see breathless and hot. Trust me Naruto, if I had wrote that letter you would have been unable to come to me so quickly because you would have had to deal with other matters," Sasuke left the word hanging in the air, letting Naruto catch onto its hidden meaning.
The red tint from Naruto's cheeks grew and spread to the tips of his ears.
Sasuke watched this with amused eyes, and had to stop himself from laughing when Naruto began to struggle in his hold.
Giving Naruto's neck a gentle squeeze he earned a surprised squeak from the blond and for a moment Naruto was too startled to struggle.
"Those graphic magazines that you like to look at would be nothing compared to what I would write. If you were to someday read one of Kakashi sensei's books you'd find them boring and dull. Nothing would ever be able to make you feel the way my letter would and you'd never want anything else to. Do you wish to know why?"
Numbly, as if in a trance, Naruto nodded his head.
Letting go of his hold on Naruto, Sasuke smirked as he took a step back. "Because you are a complete moron."
Sasuke watched with delight as Naruto's eyes, which had hazed over, began to become clear and alert. The two blue sparkling eyes blinked repeatedly and took on a look of confusion.
Sasuke laughed and before Naruto could register on what had just happened he disappeared from Naruto's vision.
X.X.X.X.X.X.X.
Naruto couldn't stop blushing as he made his way to the meeting spot.
What was he going to tell Kiba? This was not how the plan was supposed to go. Sasuke wasn't supposed to act that way.
"Why did he act that way?" Naruto asked himself aloud.
"What way?"
Naruto jumped at Kiba's voice coming from behind him and spun to face the other boy.
Seeing Kiba staring at him Naruto blushed. He couldn't tell Kiba what had happened between him and Sasuke. He didn't even know what had happened.
"I think Sasuke found out the letter was a set up to make him look like a jerk."
Kiba rolled his eyes heavenward. "You know that wouldn't have happened if you had let me write the letter instead. I've copied other people's handwriting before so Sasuke probably wouldn't have noticed the difference."
Naruto opened his mouth to protest but held back as he remembered the possessive embrace Sasuke had held him in.
Shaking his head Naruto frowned. "Sasuke would have known it was you, and I think Sasuke would have killed you if he thought there was the slightest chance that you had feelings for me."
"What?" Kiba scrunched up his face in confusion and distaste. "Why would he think that? And why would he care for that matter?"
Naruto shook his head. "Just don't ask. Sasuke is Sasuke. He's weird and cannot be understood."
X.X.X.X.X.X.X.
Thanks to everyone that read. Please let me know what you think. I like how this fanfic went but I feel very mixed about what Sasuke said and I'd like to hear what some people thought.
