A/N: Okay so this literally just popped into my head at 1:00 this morning. I hope you enjoy it; I rarely ever do funny fan fic so here is a special treat!

With a sharp echo of metal clattering against asphalt the Dark One's dagger fell to the cold hard ground. Upon its silver blade curving black letters spelled out the name of the new soul it was tethered to. Emma Swan. The savior and the daughter of true love was now the living vessel of the greatest darkness ever to be known in all the realms. Five pairs of eyes now gazed upon the dagger, each of them filled with sorrow and looks of complete and utter loss and remorse, well at least most of them.

"Oh hell no!"

Suddenly all eyes snapped up to look at the dark haired woman who dared to speak after such an event. Regina pulled herself out of Robin's arms and looked at the dagger with pure annoyance. "She does not get to go and pull that 'I absorbed the darkness now let me disappear' act, no way in this realm or any other is she getting away with that!" The queen announced.

Marching over at a steady and only slightly brisk pace, Regina bent down and picked up the dagger.

"Regina what are you doing?" Snow called out with wide tearful doe eyes.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Regina replied with attitude.

Stepping forward Hook held out his good hand. "If anyone should summon her your majesty, it should be me." He informed with an attempt at sad pleading eyes.

"Well then you should have picked up the dagger then." Regina countered with an arched eyebrow. When the captain opened his mouth to protest she held up on hand to stop him. "Ask me for this dagger again at your own risk Hook." She warned with a predatory glint in her eyes.

"Regina is it truly wise to summon the new Dark One?" Robin asked and took a step closer to her.

"Since when do we do anything wise in this town? We go on impulse all the time, why should we start thinking plans through now?" The mayor pointed out and looked for anyone else to challenge her. Looking at Charming who had yet to speak up she tilted her head and asked, "Any impute from you Charming?"

Shaking his head he simply shrugged, "Nah, I'm good."

Giving the man a supportive nod Regina smiled, "Good boy." She praised before holding up the dagger. "SWAN GET YOUR SORRY BLONDE SELF OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!" She demanded sternly.

For several heartbeats nothing happened. The five adults stood in the center of the street looking around waiting for anything to happen, anything at all. Then suddenly the sky began to grow thick with swirling black clouds that lit up with lightning and boomed with monstrous thunder. The winds picked up and began to howl like an injured animal while all around them power lines snapped and blue sparks filled the air. Snow flinched and hid herself in Charming's arms; Hook held up his hand to avoid any debris that might fly into his eyes, Robin dodged a random trashcan lid that flew right towards his head. All the while Regina stood with an unimpressed look upon her face and her arms crossed impatiently. "KNOCK IT OFF SWAN AND GET YOU TAIL FEATHER DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME I'LL DELETE ALL YOUR SAVED EPISODE'S OF ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK!"

Instantly the entire destructive display of power stopped. In the blink of an eye Emma was standing in front of the group, her blonde hair now white, her pink lips now blood red, and her pale skin now sparkling. "You wouldn't dare!" She gasped looking alarmed.

"Oh wouldn't I?" Regina challenged and looked her up and down. "What the hell happened to you? Did you just come back from a Twilight con or something?"

"What the hell Regina!? I just became the Dark One and this is how you're treating me?" Emma frowned looking upset.

"Dark One or not you are still a biscuit head so yes; this is how I'm treating you." The queen stated as if she were talking to an angst filled teenager.

Emma squinted her eyes at Regina and stomped her foot. "But this is no fair! You and Gold and even my mom all got to be evil! Why can't I have a turn?" She whined.

"Because you value your secret stash of Bearclaw's too much." Regina countered with a smirk.

"David…what's happening?" Snow whispered to her husband as she watched the interaction.

"I think Regina might be trying to save Emma, but I'm not sure. They could be flirting again." Charming whispered back to his wife.

Snow looked at him with a furrowed brow. "Really? Right now? All they ever do is flirt during crisis moments!"

"Regina! You swore not to touch those! You know that the moment Henry finds them they'll be gone!" Emma exclaimed her dark green eyes wide with alarm.

"Then I guess you should really think about what you do next or who knows what might happen to them, after all I sometimes get a sweet tooth myself." The queen warned. The two women were standing toe to toe with each other. "And I would hate if you were to lose your taco supply." She added with a smirk.

Emma's eyes widened in alarm, her mouth dropping open slightly. "But…but…I want the taco's."

"Regina what's happening?" Robin asked from where he now stood by Hook who looked just as confused.

"Shut up Robin! I'm negotiating for the life of my sweet beloved Bearclaw's!" Emma snapped at the archer her eyes remaining on Regina.

Hook put his hand on Robin's shoulder and sighed, "I've learned that when the attraction level between those two gets this high it's best to get a drink and wait for them to go into denial again." The pirate explained and began to direct the archer towards the Rabbit Hole.

"Wait? What attraction level?" Robin asked looking confused.

"The one that makes them start arguing and threatening each other as if they were married to each other and trying to see who is going to make the first move that will inevitably lead to a night of making it up to one another." Hook explained with a sigh. "Come on, I'm buying."

"So what's it going to be biscuit head? Will you behave or does Henry get a wonderful new supply or sweets while your DVR gets cleared and you lose all taco privileges?" Regina purred and the two women were now close enough to feel each other's breath.

Emma paused for a moment as if thinking. "Fine Regina, you win. But I expect rewards for my good behavior." She smirked giving the queen a once over.

Regina's lips parted in a mischievous grin, "I think that can be arranged." She winked at the blonde before turning and walking away, her hips swaying seductively with each step.

Emma glanced over at her parents before swallowing hard, her eyes going between the couple watching her and the exiting queen. "I'm…I'm gonna go make some…taco's." She said before racing after Regina.

A/N: There you go.