UDATE: We made a slight change to the ending. Nothing big, just a change that would make sense.
Hi people.
So it's been a few months since I last wrote a story because I've been working on some new things to better this page and your reading experience. So first thing, I am no longer the lone owner of this account. I am sharing my Bye Felicia account with a user who was previously known as mFabulous (her alias name is Alexis btw). We are combining our ideas and writing abilities, and we are going to be a mega account.
This whole thing is really big for us. It will probably be sorta hard because I live in Arizona, and she lives in New York, and we have to work over phone, Skype, and email. But we're gonna make it work just for you guys.
So now with this new story. This was originally Alexis' idea, and when she pitched it to me I loved it right off the bat and wrote legit half of it at 3 in the morning. A lot of time and thought has gone into it so far because we want this to be really good. Alright. Now I'm done talking. Please sit back and enjoy the story.
Disclaimer: We do not own Jessie.
TRIGGER ALERT! TRIGGER ALERT! TRIGGER ALERT! THIS STORY CONTAINS SUICIDE THOUGHTS, SELF HARM, AND LOT'S OF TRIGGERS!
Chapter 1: Fallen Apart
Ravi can't remember when his life started to feel like a big empty room with dark walls and no windows. Like he's sitting in the middle of the room searching for a way out or for any sign of life, and screaming at the top of his lungs only to be greeted with silence. The room feels like it's compressing him from all sides, willing him to explode. Every day that goes by, the walls get darker and the screams lessen as Ravi accepts the darkness as it grows stronger and stronger. He knows that one day he will happily give into the darkness completely and finally be rid of the room that mirrors the hell that's called his life.
Ravi didn't always feel this way. He didn't always feel like he was drowning in his own thoughts and mental wounds. He didn't always feel like his heart was an over stretched rubber band, ready to snap at any moment. He can faintly remember a time when positivity filled his veins like the cold rush of heroine. He used to have this bright smile that filled even the darkest of days with hope and optimism. He used to be a naïve child filled with wonder and joy, sending love in all directions for everyone to receive, and only seeing the good in everything. There wasn't a lick of darkness in him.
That person seems like a stranger to Ravi now, someone far out of his reach. That person has probably disappeared, and vanished completely from existence, leaving behind a corpse of what he used to be.
Ravi takes his blade and drags it across his forearm, in the middle of both old and new scares. The scars decorate his arm like a billion tattoos, carelessly craved into his skin. He used to cry as he did this, not because of the pain caused by the cuts but because of the pain that pushed him to that point. Now, Ravi feels nothing as he vandalizes his arm with the bloody lines. He allows himself to go numb, void of all feeling.
At school Ravi is everyone's personal punching bag. Ravi can't think of a soul in his school who hasn't bullied and belittled him at least once. As soon as he would walk through the school doors, he would be in danger of various forms of pain and humiliation. He would be shoved to the floor and stepped on like a chewed up piece of gum. He would get beat up by the jocks that roamed the halls, hungry for prey. He would get called names and get teased about every aspect of his being.
Ravi can hear their voices echoing in his head.
You're so ugly! You make my eyes burn!
Shouldn't you be working in Dunkin' Donuts?
Look at the little faggot!
Get out of the way shithead!
Everyone move out the way! There's a terrorist in the room!
Why don't you just hope on a plane and fly back to India where you belong?
Oh wait, he can't because he's not allowed to board planes!
Even your own parents didn't love you!
Their voices ring through his head like the echoes of lost souls.
The bullying didn't bother him when he first started Walden Academy. He was able to brush it off because of how much confidence he held on to. But it doesn't take long for that confidence to be crushed, leaving you raw to what you really are.
He barely escapes the ridicule when he gets home. When he first arrived in with the Ross', he felt utterly blessed to have been adopted by such a loving family and to have such wonderful siblings. They were all so warm and welcoming, and immediately treated him like family. He felt happier than he had ever been. Lately, he's felt less welcome in the family, and more like an outsider living with strangers. His siblings treat him like a second class citizen most of the time, making fun of his social status, his love for reptiles, his accent, and his every move whenever they got the chance. Emma completely ignores him except for when she rubs in his face how much of a nobody he is, with nobody to spend time with. Zuri abuses him whenever she pleases, and laughs as she does so. And Luke, who is supposed to be a role model as Ravi's big brother, constantly reminds him of his lack of friends and how pathetic it must be to sit at lunch by himself. Luke takes pride in demeaning Ravi about how weak he is, and how sad it is to only have a lizard to keep you company.
He feels like a speck of dirt compared to three gorgeous diamonds.
Ravi stares at the many cuts on his arm as the slight sting of pain traveled through his nerves. That sting was nothing compared to the thundering pain he felt inside. He turns at the sound of Mrs. Kipling hissing and nudging at her food bowl, a clear sign that she's hungry. Ravi hides the blade in a small hole at the bottom of his bathtub (the hiding spot he made himself) and rolls down the sleeves of his hoodie. The sleeves conceal his arms and the cuts fully. Nobody seems to notice that he only ever wears hoodies now, in an attempt to keep his burdens hidden.
He leaves his room and slowly descends the stairs and makes his way into the kitchen. He hopes that Bertram remembered to pick up the frog legs he requested for Mrs. Kipling's dinner.
He stops his journey to the kitchen as he hears hushed giggles on the other side of the door, along with something that sounded like some sort of television show. It sounds like his siblings are laughing at something, but don't want to be caught laughing. He furrows his brows as he pushes the door to the kitchen open.
As soon as Ravi enters the kitchen, he sees his siblings huddled around what looks to be Luke's iPad. They all immediately stop laughing when Ravi enters, visibly trying to control their laughter. It's as if they're trying to hide some sort of practical joke that he's not supposed to know about as their demeanor change when they see him. He eyes them as he slowly walks towards them.
"What were you guys laughing at?" He asks cautiously.
"Nothing!" Zuri replies quickly, failing to look casual. She has a look on her faces that says 'as soon as you leave the room I am gonna die of laughter.'
"Why did you guys stop laughing when I walked in?" Ravi says, crossing his arms, not being fooled by their act.
Luke looks between Emma and Zuri a few times before bursting out in excitement. "Okay you have got to come see this!" He energetically motions Ravi over to his iPad. Ravi moves into the space between Luke and Emma to see what was so hilarious to his siblings. The whole time he has a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach, a feeling telling him to get out while he still can. But he stays, as curiosity got the best of him.
Luke taps the tablet and a video starts playing. The beginning title pops up say, The Walden Academy Basketball Team presents: The Nerd Chronicles. It opens up to what looks like a cartoon version of their school with background music, and fades to a cartoon version of the school hall. Students are seen walking through the hall in a horribly animated manner (like seriously! Who made this crap? It looks like a worse version of Angela Anaconda!).
The camera zooms to focus on a small male cartoon character dressed in what looks to be an ugly Indian sari, draped across the small boy in all the wrong ways. The character has hair much like how Ravi used to style his hair when he was younger, and walks with a huge stack of books in his hands. Ravi furrows his brows, not completely understanding what's going on, or where the video is going.
Then the character speaks. "Look at me!" It says in a very high pitch, mock Indian accent. "I'm Ravi Ross. I'm the biggest loser this world has ever seen and I can talk to lizards!" What looked like a small dinosaur type of thing appears next to the characters feet. Ravi's eyes widened as he felt a pang to his heart, suddenly realizing the sole purpose of the video. "Who needs real friends when you have lizards to keep you company!" Emma, Zuri, and Luke start laughing at the ridiculous outburst of the character. Ravi's breathing starts to quicken in fear of the rest of the video.
The animated Ravi continues to speak with a huge smile on his face. "I hope nothing happens today to ruin my life." The character suddenly gasps as he trips over nothing. The character screams as he tumbles dramatically into a garbage can. The scene shows other students laughing as the Ravi character pops his head out of the garbage with a banana peel on his head. His siblings burst into hysterics at this, as if the sudden downfall of their brother is the funniest thing in the word.
Another character, what looks to be a basketball player, suddenly appears next to the garbage can. "Why don't you just leave America and go back to where you came from you little freak?"
The Ravi character looks angry as he hopes out of the garbage can. "You know what? I think I will! And I'm gonna take my lizard friends with me!" More laughter. Ravi grasps at his hoodie covered arms, the pain from the cuts he made slightly numbing his senses. He can feel himself moving further into that dark room with every second of the cartoon. But he doesn't look away. He feels frozen in his spot, forced to take in the humiliation.
The scene moves to an airport (typical) where the same Ravi character approaches the airport with what looks like a boarding pass in his hands. "One way flight to India please." He says to the guy at the desk.
The guy looks at the character before gasping and yell, "Security! We have a terrorist on the loose trying to board a plane! Get him before he blows up this whole joint!"
The cartoon Ravi is suddenly tackled by what seems to be fifty different security guards. The character screams as he is dragged away from the scene in handcuffs. "No! Tell my lizards that I love them!" The scene fades away to closing credits followed by the words The End.
Ravi looks up from the screen, visibly looking hurt. He clenches his arms harder, the embarrassment pounding into him like a jackhammer. His siblings laugh hysterically, wiping away tears to exaggerate the situation. How could they be laughing at something that was created to offend him? "You guys think that was funny?!" He yells at them. "That was humiliating!"
Their laughing begins to die down. "Relax Ravi." Emma giggles. "It's not that serious. It was just a little joke."
"It was more than a little joke!" Luke adds. He begins laughing harder.
Ravi shakes his head. "How could you guys laugh at something as ridiculing and demeaning as that?!" Ravi exclaims. He knows that they would never stick up for him since they never really have, but it still pains him that they wouldn't even try to spare his feelings. They would rather laugh right in his face.
"Calm down bro." Ravi wants to wipe the smirk right off of Luke's face, and try to make him see things the way he does. But Ravi stands still. "It was just a stupid video." Luke gets up and pushes the iPad towards Ravi. "Come on. Let's watch it again so we can see how stupid it is."
Ravi shakes his head. Why on Earth would he want to watch something like that every again? "No Luke. I don't want to see it."
"No, come on. I wanna show you it's not that serious."
Ravi tries to shove Luke away. "Stop it Luke! I said no."
Luke tries to give the tablet to Ravi, only for Ravi to continue to push him away, trying his best not to shove to hard. They start to bicker over the video, Luke going on about how dumb the video was and how watching it again would lessen the effect it had on Ravi (how does that even make sense?).
Something in Ravi bursts, like a fire in his veins, and he suddenly feels the need to lash out at something. He's not sure what it is, but he suddenly feels a flash of utter rage erupt in him. He's not thinking straight when he pushes Luke's arm so hard that the iPad flies out of Luke's hand and lands on the floor. Glass shatters all over the kitchen tiles as the iPad breaks into a billion tiny pieces.
Everything seems to pause as the Ross kids watch this happen. Ravi's eyes widen in disbelief of what he's done. He doesn't know what came over him to make him do such a thing. He's never lashed out at other people before. He's only ever done it to himself. He looks from the shattered tablet to Luke, who stands in complete shock. Realization probably hits him when he turns to look at Ravi with complete fury in his eyes.
"Look. At. What. You. Did!" He seethes, pointing at the mess on the floor.
Emma and Zuri look to each other in a panic and scurry out of the room, pretending to have been called by Jessie and leaving the two boys alone to deal with the problem.
Ravi feels at a loss for words. He clears his throat as he tries to speak. "Oh my gosh—"
"That tablet," Luke interrupts him, stepping closer to him, "had my whole life in it!" His eyes are filled with complete murder as he advances onto Ravi. He would probably murder Ravi if he could. "Apps, pictures, contacts, files! I had information on that that I could've used to help me get in contact with my birth mom!" He doesn't realize that he divulged more information than he ever wanted to. He looks to the floor at the mess that used to be his iPad. "And now it's all gone."
Ravi starts to breathe heavily. "Luke I am so sorry! I—"
"What is wrong with you?!" Luke exclaims, causing Ravi to jump back. "Do you understand how expensive and priceless that thing was?!" He is completely livid, pacing the kitchen floor in an angry rage. "Do you understand how important that was to me?! You ruined it!"
"Luke it was an accident—"
"Why do you have to ruin everything?" Luke is practically screaming at this point, shouting loud enough for Canada to hear him clearly. "You ruin my iPad. You ruin my confidence. You ruin my reputation with all your loser ways." Luke isn't saying much, but his words hit Ravi like cold, hard bullets. They confuse him slightly because he doesn't know where it's all coming from, but he can't focus on any of that. "You ruined this whole family! Life was so much easier and better before you arrived!"
Ravi shakes his head, as he feels himself breaking on the inside. He tries to pull himself together enough to speak. "You don't mean that." His voice hitches in his throat.
Luke kicks a piece of the tablet and it slides across the kitchen floor. "Honestly, everything was fine until you came along and ruined our whole family dynamic. Our lives were completely normal until mom and dad brought home the weirdo from India and forced us to be friendly to him." Luke's is what snaps his already over stretched heart, damaging it's elasticity. "I wish you were never adopted!"
Ravi stares at Luke. He stares at the anger in his brothers eyes that he caused. He stares at Luke's balled up fists, knuckles turning white from being clenched so hard. He stares at the shattered pieces on the floor, and he can't help but to see it as the mess he caused in the family, and as the mess he feels he is.
His chest feels heavy, as if an anchor is weighing him down into the floor. He is barely aware of Jessie bursting into the kitchen in response to the chaos that went on. He is only aware of his feet caring him as fast as possible to his room.
"What is going on?!" Jessie exclaims as Ravi leaves the kitchen. "Can't I leave you kids alone for more than five minutes without a war happening?!" She suddenly becomes aware of the glass pieces on the floor and an angry, yet slightly terrified, looking Luke. Her nanny instincts kick in and she places her hands on her hips and arches an eyebrow at Luke. "Luke what did you do?"
Luke lifts his hands up in a 'don't look at me' manner. "I didn't do anything! Ravi pushed me and made me drop my iPad!" He is still furious at his annoying little brother. Luke never told anyone, but he was able to secretly collect some information that he could use to help him find his birth family. He thought he had buried that hatch the first time he went searching for his mom, but at some point after that, curiosity got the best of him. He knew he couldn't rely on his family to help him since it didn't really work out to well the last time and it seemed to hurt his mom so much, so he decided he would have to do the research himself.
Surprisingly, Luke had done a lot of work and had gotten a ton of information. And now it was all gone.
Jessie sighs. "Luke that is only a material thing. I thought I told you kids—"
"Jessie this time is different!" Luke says, a helpless look finding its way to his face as he falls into one of the empty seats. "I had a lot of important things on my iPad that I needed! It had my whole life on it." He runs a hand through his hair. "And now it's gone. Forever."
Jessie rolls her eyes. "Luke I make sure that all of you kids' information is backed up, so you can legit get all that information back."
Luke visibly pricks up at this information, sitting up in his seat. "Seriously?"
Jessie nods. "Yeah. You can access it from any tablet, phone or computer for that matter. That's how technology works."
A smile takes over Luke's face. He had been so angry at the thought of everything on his iPad being gone, only to find out that it was still saved somewhere else. "That's great! That's amazing! Thanks Jessie!"
He gets up to walk away from the scene when Jessie stops him. "Not so fast." She places her hands on her hips again, in full nanny mode. "I heard what you said to Ravi, and none of that was okay to say. How could you say things like that? He's your brother."
Luke sighs, guiltily. "I'm sorry Jessie. I never meant any of it. I guess I just overreacted." He knew what he said to Ravi was wrong as soon as it left his mouth, but he was too blinded by his own rage to stop himself from saying it.
"That's no excuse for being so mean to him." Jessie scolds him. "You really hurt his feelings Luke. He looks up to you, and saying things like that could really damage your relationship with him."
Luke looks down at his shoes as he bites his bottom lip (We had to add this little tidbit for you ladies crushing on Cameron Boyce. Go ahead. Imagine it). "I know. I'm really sorry."
Jessie shakes her head. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. You need to go upstairs and apologize to your brother." Luke nods at Jessie, knowing that that was the right thing to do. Jessie likes at the watch on her wrist. "Now, I have a dentist appointment soon and I have to go to Staten Island to pick up a package from your parents. Bertram is in charge while I'm gone. I'll be back soon, but in the meantime, go apologize to Ravi." She turns to leave, but stops and points at the mess on the floor. "And clean this up while you're at it."
She leaves the kitchen, leaving a guilty Luke standing there, contemplating what he's gonna say to his brother and how he's gonna say it. He knows what he has to do, but he feels so embarrassed. He got out of control and said so many terrible and untrue things to Ravi. How is he supposed to face him after his outburst?
Luke sighs. He'll have to just suck it up and face whatever comes his way. He deserves it anyway. He begins to walk out of the kitchen when a reminder goes off on his phone, causing him to stop. He looks at it and gasp. He completely forgot that today was The Walking Dead marathon he had been waiting for all month! Forgetting completely about his saddened brother, Luke dashes to the theater room, and hops onto one of the seats. He grabs one of the remotes and turns the T.V. on, ready to fill his mind with the living dead.
Ravi can't remember the last time he cried so much. He didn't even realize that his body could contain so much fluid. He was aware off a few break downs back at the orphanage in India, and could remember the few times he cried while in America (mainly over minor things), but never was it so bad. As soon as Ravi got to his room, the tears release from his eyes like a heavy flood after a rain storm. He presses his back against his closed door and slides to the floor, gripping his hair as he sobs violently. He bangs his head against the door, the pain from the impact barely phasing him as it was nothing compared to how damaged he felt.
Over the past few years, he heard many harsh things, and each comment cut him deep. Each pulled at his heart, stretching it wider and wider. But nothing hurt more than hearing the words spoken by his brother. Nothing hurt more than having Luke look him in the eyes and basically tell him of worthless he really was. His words were like sharp knives, sticking into him, waiting for him to bleed until there was nothing left. They cause his elastic heart to snap, unable to handle any more tension.
He never belonged in a place like this, with such a perfect family. He sticks out like a sore thumb, ready to be amputated. He doesn't deserve to be with this family. He doesn't deserve to be with any family.
To tell the truth, Ravi feels like he doesn't belong in the world anymore. He doesn't belong in this world that hates him for being able to live and breathe. He doesn't feel the need to exist, or that he deserves to exist anymore. How can he? Nobody would care if he was gone. The world would probably dance on his grave. He's nothing more than an insignificant scrap.
No wonder his mother gave him up when she did. She was able to see the abomination he was, even when he was just a baby. She didn't want him. For 10 years, nobody wanted him. And although he was miraculously adopted and was met with an illusion of love, he was still the unwanted abomination that arrived at the orphanage 15 years ago.
Another burst of rage courses through Ravi's veins as he gets up and wreaks havoc in his neat room. He can't control himself as he starts tearing things apart. The pillows and blankets on his well-made bed end up thrown all around the room. The books and papers on his desk are flung about, hitting the ceiling and the wall and scattering the floor. Random items end up flung in all directions until Ravi can barely hold himself up. He falls to his knees, clutching his stomach as heavy sobs ripe through his body.
He lies on the floor, sobbing for God knows how long. He ignores the hissing coming from Mrs. Kipling's cage. He tries to think of his next move, even though thinking seems to be impossible at this point.
Truthfully, Ravi is done. He's done feeling so vulnerable to everyone. He's done being the joke of the school, and having everyone treat him like the worthless being he is. He's done being in a family that despised him so much. He's done feeling like he has no right to exist. He's done choking under the suffocating feeling of loneliness and despair, and drowning in the mockery of others. He's done sitting in that dark room, searching for a light that would never be there.
He is done with everything.
And he knows what he has to do.
Ravi sits up. The tears are still pouring out of him faster than the speed of light. He pulls his hoodie off and carelessly drops it on the floor. He takes a look at his arms, decorated with over a years worth of self-inflicted scars. He's become invincible to the pain of the, which makes what he's going to do so much easier.
He's slightly aware that a couple of hours have passed. And during that time, nobody bothered to come and check on him to see if he was okay. This thought, along with many others, push him further and further.
Ravi makes his way into his bathroom. He locks the door behind him, fighting the urge to break the door knob. He clenches the door knob tightly as a few sobs erupt from his body. He takes short breaths as he releases the door knob. It has to be done. He has to be done.
He slowly crouches down to the little hole in his bathtub and retrieves his razor. One small stroke of the blade, and all the pain and suffering would go away. One stroke, and the world would be rid of him forever.
It's the only way out. The only way for him to escape the dark room.
Ravi doesn't close his eyes as he does it. He wants to see everything as it happens. He watches as he makes one, long vertical line down his arm. The pain is unbearable. He bites his lip and suppresses a hiss in response to the pain. It's like the pain of stepping on hot lava rocks continuously. But seeing the blood gush from the wound has already started to make him feel lighter, and more disconnected from everything.
He could've stopped there and allowed nature to take its course, but he feels like his hand is on autopilot as he makes small horizontal lines across the vertical ones. They're just as deep, causing the same effect as the first. He doesn't react to these new cuts. He merely stares at them, as salty tears fall from his face and land in the bloody wound.
At some point, he knows it's working. He feels himself becoming weaker and weaker. It's the lightest feeling he's ever felt in his life. It's as if he's starting to float into another realm. He stops, staring at the huge gashes on his arm, the tears streaming down his face. It's okay, he tells himself. It's almost over.
Ravi doesn't remember when, but he somehow ends up lying on the floor, barely holding onto his consciousness. He watches the ceiling as his vision starts to darken, his eyelids growing heavy. He can feel himself slowly lifting away, leaving behind the broken boy who was never loved, and never cared for.
Finally, he closes his eyes as he gives in completely, welcoming the darkness with open arms.
Luke's eyes burn from the three hours of television he just ingested. He is practically bouncing in his seat with excitement from the nerve wrecking show. The many plot twists of the show plague his mind, as every episode unloads a bunch of twist and turns he never saw coming. It's so mind blowing how one show could contain so much awesomeness. His mind is so full of The Walking Dead that he can barely make out the voice of Jessie calling his name repeatedly. He doesn't even notice when she bursts into the theater room, annoyance written all over her face.
"Luke!" She says agitatedly, earning no response from him. His eyes are fixated on the T.V. screen, pay no attention to his surroundings. She rolls her eyes at the expression on his face. There could've been a fire, and he wouldn't have noticed because of how engrossed he was into a stupid show. Jessie groans as she reaches for one of the many remotes and abruptly turns the T.V. off.
Luke blinks a couple of times as the screen goes completely black before jumping out of his seat. "Hey!" He exclaims to an annoyed Jessie. "I was watching that! And it was almost at the good part!"
"Luke did you apologize to Ravi like I told you to?" Jessie asks in a knowing voice, crossing her arms. She already knows that Luke spent all day watching T.V. instead of doing what she told him to do (no surprise there). She just enjoyed the look on his face when he realizes he forgot to do something important.
Luke's jaw drops. He completely forgot about how he insulted his brother, and how he was supposed to apologize. He had been so busy watching the show that it completely slipped his mind. He bites his lip. "Oh. Uhh…"
Jessie shakes her head. "I knew it." She points out of the theater room in the general direction of the stairs. "March your little butt upstairs right now and apologize to him."
Now it's Lukes turn to groan. Of course he wants to go and make things right with Ravi, even though he doubts they're all that messed up. But he was almost up to the season finale! And he had been waiting forever to watch it. Sure he knows that T.V. isn't more important than his brother. He isn't that shallow. But couldn't it just wait a little longer?
Luke opens his mouth to protest but Jessie barks, "Now!" which causes Luke to scurry out of the room faster than roaches when the lights turn on.
He takes the stairs two at a time, easily skipping the steps. He's barely out of breath (perks of being a dancer) when he approaches Ravi's door. He knocks before speaking through it. "Ravi?" He calls. "Listen, I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier. I know you didn't mean to knock over my iPad. I know it was an accident." Luke waits, but his words are met with no response. "I shouldn't have said those things to you. I didn't mean them and I'm really sorry." Still no response. Luke furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Is it possible that Ravi is mad enough to ignore him for the rest of the night? He knocks again. "Come on Ravi! Please open up." He pleads, hoping to earn a response from his younger brother. Only silence fills the air. "If you don't open up, I'm coming in!" He waits barely a second before throwing Ravi's room door open.
And he is left speechless to what he sees on the other side.
Luke has never seen Ravi's room in such chaos before. It resembles his room, but less filthy and more overturned. Bed sheets were thrown everywhere. Books and papers were scattered across the floor. Picture frames were broken into pieces. Clothes were thrown about. It looks like a tornado ripped through Ravi's room, probably taking the small Indian boy with it.
Something is definitely wrong. Ravi would never leave his room in such a mess, under no circumstances. The boy prides himself in keeping his room spotless.
He starts to cautiously walk around the room, looking under blankets and heaps of clothes to see if his brother was buried under it. He calls the boy's name as he looks around. The whole charade reminds him of the hide-and-seek games he used to play with Emma when they were little kids. He looks through Ravi's many closets, and even checks Mrs. Kipling's cage, only to come up empty handed.
He arrives at Ravi's bathroom last. He jiggles the handle in an attempt to open it, only for the door not to budge. It must be locked. Which must mean that there's someone on the other side who locked it! "A-ha!" Luke exclaims in victory. "I know you're in there Ravi!" He continues to jiggle the handle, attempting to open the door. "And if you don't open up, I'm gonna bust open the door! And you know I can do it too!" After more unsuccessful jiggling, Luke steps back and kicks the door to the bathroom. It flies open, banging the wall on the inside.
He's not sure what he expected to see on the other side of the door. Maybe he expected to see Ravi sitting in a corner, unwilling to talk to Luke. Maybe he was expecting to find Ravi getting ready to take a shower, which would explain the locked door. Maybe he expected Ravi to be brushing his teeth, or even taking a crap.
Anything would have been better than what he saw when the door flew open.
Luke's initial reaction is to jump back. One doesn't just see a blood body and stand their unaffected. He places his hand on his fast beating heart. The scene resembles something out of one of the horror movies Jessie forbade him from watching. Something that would usually give him, Ravi, and Zuri nightmares.
But then Luke realizes who exactly is on the floor lying in a fresh pool of blood.
He feels his breath quicken and his eyes dilate as realization hits him. Something drops in the pit of his stomach as everything sets in his mind. "No." He whispers. He's whole body is shaking as he goes to Ravi, examining him. "Oh my God." He whispers as his eyes fall on Ravi's left arm. Blood gushes out of the open wound that runs deep down Ravi's forearm. His eyes jump to a razor, resting on the floor next to Ravi. It looks like something ripped out of the razor blade used for shaving. Luke picks up the rusty metal and stares at it, stained with blood. He can't seem to steady himself as he puts two and two together. He feels like he might just pass out.
It really does feel like something out of a horror movie.
He throws the blade aside as moves closer to his brother. "Ravi?" He whispers, as if his brother is merely sleeping and he's afraid to wake him. Luke shakes his arm, speaking a little louder. "Ravi?" He sniffs as he grabs the limp boy by the shoulders. "Ravi?" He whimpers out. His vision is blurry and his cheeks are wet. Everything feels like it's crumbling away as he sits on that bathroom pleading for his brothers' life. Luke grabs at his hair as a sob escapes him.
"Jessie!" He calls at the top of his lungs. "Jessie!" His whole body trembles as he shakes his unconscious brother, earning no response from him. He pats Ravi's face, looking for any possible sign of life. He finds none. "No." His voice cracks. "Come on man! Please don't do this!" He pleads. Luke can't remember the last time he felt so helpless in his life. It's like he desperately wants do something, anything to make the situation disappear. But there's nothing he can do. He can only be a bystander and watch as his brother slips away.
Luke can almost hear his heart completely crack as he loses it. He grabs Ravi's face as a gasp sounds beside him. "Don't do this Ravi! Please!" He can see out of the corner of his eye Jessie's blurry figure leaning over Ravi with a hand over her mouth and a cell phone.
"Please Ravi!" His voice catches as he hiccups loudly. "Just stay with me please!" He's yelling now. Guilt overcomes him as he remembers the last thing Ravi heard him say. He can't think of anything except how horribly he treated his brother. He had told Ravi that he ruined Luke's life. He told Ravi that he wished he was never adopted. He made Ravi feel worthless. And over what? A broken object that could always be replaced?
Ravi tried to kill himself under the notion that Luke didn't love him.
Luke can't take it. He can't bear to think of what he's done to someone he's held dear to his heart ever since he walked into his life. He grips his head as he falls into Ravi's chest, sobbing loudly. He can barely hear Jessie on the phone with what must be the police over his cries.
"Hi! One of my kids just tried to commit suicide! H-h-he cut open his arm!" Jessie stutters out their address as she checks Ravi's neck and wrist for a pulse. "It's barely there and inconsistent. Yes I have other kids with me. No, I'm the nanny, but I'm responsible for them when their parents aren't here."
Luke feels multiple pairs of arms grab him and try to pull him away from Ravi, but he's got such a strong, death grip on his brother. Finally, he is yanked hard enough and unclenches Ravi. He yells out uncontrollably, but suddenly feels too weak to fight. He collapses in what he assumes to be Emma's arms, who holds him tight as his sobs increase.
Through his watery vision, Luke can see Jessie moving around quickly, leaving the phone on speaker. She finds one of Ravi's towels and presses it against the open wound, trying her best to suppress the flow of blood. She starts to perform CPR on him, pumping at his chest frantically as she blows air into his lungs.
How could this even be real life? It feels like some sort of jacked up nightmare.
At some point, the paramedics find their way into the bathroom, with gurneys and a bunch of medical equipment following them, making the room feel crowded. They hook Ravi up to machines and tubes, and quickly place gauze and bandages on Ravi's arm, all soaking through almost immediately. They place him on the gurney and quickly roll him out of the room, into the elevator. Luke follows, half walking and half being dragged by Emma and Zuri.
They all somehow manage to fit into the elevator despite the close proximity and are out the building doors in minutes. The family follows closely behind the paramedics. The ambulance is parked outside of their building, lights flashing brightly. The paramedics spend all of two seconds arguing with Jessie over who's allowed to ride in the ambulance to the hospital (since she wants everyone to be able to go) until she takes one look at how demolished Luke appeared to be and thrusts him into the ambulance. She orders Bertram to take Emma and Zuri in the limo before climbing into the ambulance behind Luke. The ambulance wastes no time driving at what must be 100 miles an hour, lights blinking spastically. The paramedics surround Ravi, working like bees on his unconscious body. And on this whole journey, Luke can only think one thing to himself.
What have I done?
*wipes sweat from forehead* Whew! That was a handful to write.
I hope you guys enjoyed it (or cried a little). Alexis thought of the name after listen to Elastic Heart By Sia on repeat. It sorta kinda fits the theme, but we're going to take the concept of an elastic heart and give it our own meaning in a way. Well we'll try anyways.
Thank for reading. If you want to read more of my work, you can just click on my name all the way up at the top of the screen and check out my other story Wish I Was Dreaming (don't check out the other one. It needs a lot of editing). And if you want to see Alexis' work, well just stay tuned for all of that!.
Thanks for reading!
If you like it review. If you like it review. It you like it, review!
-Bye Felicia
