It was something shocking, like a fist to the jaw. Like a huge wave crashing atop of an unsuspecting victim, just a huge blow. Caught off guard, unprepared. His eyes stayed fixated on the empty chair across from him, a solemn look on his face. He stared and stared, expecting to see something he knew he would never see again. His lips pressed into a thin line, and a pain shot into him. He closed his eyes, he could see that damned smile. He could hear her voice over the ruckas everyone was making, but it wasn't her voice. She wasn't there. She was gone.
"Gokudera?"
He ignored the call, suddenly finding it hard to focus on anything. He slouched, his body hanging over the table, hands pressed against it.
"G-Gokudera-kun, are you okay?"
He couldn't even answer his boss, it was too much. He opened his eyes, and for a second he thought he saw her across from him, he thought he heard her voice demanding him to sit down and eat the food she graciously prepared with Kyoko for everyone. On a normal day, he would have called her portion of the food crap, but he swore if she was there he'd tell her something completely off topic.
He missed her, and he felt guilty.
How many times had he told her to go die?
He didn't mean it, not really.
Why did it hurt so much?
Why did it take death for him to realize how much he needed her around?
Why did he suddenly focus in on every little thing she had done for him?
Encouraging him in her peppy way when he'd insist he'd failed the Tenth.
Treating his wounds, asking him in a shaky voice to be more careful.
Why did he take all that for granted?
Why was he so damn mean to her?
He squeezed his eyes shut, muttering curses under his breath.
He inhaled and almost choked, opening his eyes he met her eyes.
He was staring down at her, her facial expression angry and confused.
"Hahi?"
Gokudera was certain he'd just freaked her out, but he hugged her small form tightly, falling to his knees. She went stiffed, then began trying to escape his grasp, sputtering things about him being perverted.
"Who are you?"
He ignored her question, releasing her and instead cupping her face, meeting her eyes in a serious stare. She gasped, face turning red, because apparently he was too close.
He leaned in, pressing his lips against hers.
He could faintly hear this time's Lambo shouting about kissing and laughing, but he didn't care, he wasn't going to let his chance pass by without at least trying to fix things.
When he pulled back from Haru, he placed his large hands on her shoulders.
"Haru, I'm so sorry, forgive me... I couldn't protect..."
He trailed off, choking up. He inhaled sharply, his thumb stroking the short girls cheek.
He knew he didn't have much time left, so he dug in his pocket with his left hand and hastily pressed a folded piece of paper into Haru's hand.
"Give that to this time's Gokudera, don't forget."
He bit his lip, opening his mouth, "Haru, I love-"
It was too late, the pink smoke was surrounding him again, and he found himself back in the future.
The Storm Guardian sunk into his seat, covering his face with his hands.
The future wasn't the same, he'd never be able to tell Haru from this time what he knew he should have said.
And he swore her voice was haunting him.
Filling him with such regret.
What he could have done.
What he should have.
Stupid woman.
I wanted to write something sad... Probably failed angst, but I sort of like this.
I hope someone out there likes this!
Ah, yes, I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! Akira Amano own it.
