A Change in Direction
Summary: "But...I'm not supposed to be...human..." Toaster embarks on a new journey; one not of her own making.
Chapter 1: Life is Like a Journey on a Road that's Within
"…Glad to be home again. Still glad we went…" The Toaster crooned, bouncing along in the trunk of the van as it drove over bumpy back roads. She knew singing was risky with the humans so near, but she just couldn't help herself.
They'd had such a lovely time.
The Master and Mistress had finally taken a holiday; they'd splurged to rent a little cabin by the lake: the perfect, quiet place to celebrate July, with its cool late evening and fireworks streaming over the lake. To Toaster's delight, the Master had insisted on bringing her and the friends.
"Just can't be parted, can you?" the Mistress had teased, bouncing the little master on her hip as the Master loaded Toaster into the van.
"Hey, you never know when you might need them!" The Master had smiled at his reflection in Toaster's chrome, and immediately stuck out his tongue per their old tradition.
Toaster had loved it. The trip had been lovely; so peaceful with the little family so close by all the time. Just like the cabin. Sometimes-she wouldn't admit it to anyone for the world- she felt lost in the big house, separated from all her friends and her master for so long.
She never wanted any of it to end.
The memories carried her through the ride home. The new van with its open trunk had allowed her to spend as much time with her family as well as her friends. While Radio jammed from his spot between the front seat (the Master insisted that it had better stations than the van radio), Lampy dozed from the box of odds and ends in the passenger seat by the little Master's car seat. She could hear the little Master giggling, and could only guess what Blanky was doing to entertain him.
And Kirby. Toaster turned an eye towards the vacuum, spotting him smiling as he rested against the seat. Even Kirby, stolid and silent, appeared peacefully content.
"Enjoying yourself?" Toaster teased.
He didn't answer right away. He seemed lost in whatever lovely daydream had swept him away. Toaster called him gently before finally getting his attention. His eyes snapped open, and the smile, so unexpectedly content, vanished into his usual frown.
"Now, what'd you stop for?" he demanded, under his breath.
Toaster blinked. "Stop? Stop what?"
A blush darkened Kirby's chrome, and he mumbled as he averted his eyes. Toaster sidled closer.
"What was that?"
"I said your singing." He was still mumbling, but at least Toaster heard him that time.
"My singing?" She watched him curiously before breaking into a smile. "You liked it?"
He grumbled. "It beats what that wavehead is playing."
"It's not so bad." The tune wafting from the front seat was unfamiliar to her, though its catchy beat reminded her of the oldies the master adored. "If the master likes it, it can't be that bad."
"He's got good taste, I'll give him that." The vaccumm heaved a deep sigh. "But I'll sure be glad to get home. Again."
"Why? I thought you had fun!"
Kirby humphed and rolled his brush. "It's all well and good for humans to go somewhere new. But appliances like me need somewhere stable to be, doing what we do best."
Toaster smirked and shook her head at the vacuum.
"You just don't enjoy anything new, do you?" she asked, fondly.
"I wasn't made to try anything new," Kirby retorted, looking at her at last. Looking down at her, anyway, in that condescending frown he'd perfected. "And neither were you. We've had enough adventures to last us a life time, and now I want some real peace in my own home, doing what I was made to do." He closed his eyes. A faint smile took the place of his frown, as though the memory of the country house that had been their home for the last year was soothing to his mind.
"I like that, too." Toaster hesitated. "But…"
One of Kirby's eyes shot open. "But what?" he demanded.
The sight of fireworks shooting over the lake like magic rose before her mind. Watching from the window of the rented lake hut, she had seen them burst and sparkle right over the heads of her master and mistress, the two of them sitting close together while the little master ran from one to the other in excitement. It was a lovely scene, one that wouldn't quite leave her mind.
"Just once," she murmured, closing her eyes against Kirby's scrutinizing glare to listen to her Master speak and her Mistress answer with a laugh. "Just once, it might be nice…"
And then the pain engulfed her.
Relentless pain burnt at Toaster's core as it tore its way through every inch of her. A terrible rhythm beat its way inside, rivalling even the agony clawing at her head. Her chest heaved as she gasped for breath.
Breath… breath…She was breathing?
She was breathing.
Voices floated around her head, swarming like drones .
"Pulse low…"
"…Shock…"
"…CCs…"
She squeezed her eyelids, forcing them to open. The floor underneath her spun; streams of yellow lights rushed above her. She tried to move, to right herself against it, and her hand jerked out under the blanket covering her…
…Hand…? Even in the midst of Toaster's pain, her mind fixated that odd word. Hand. Hand. And as the floor and lights finally ceased rushing, she could feel herself raising what appeared to be an arm, bending an elbow, and lifting a brown hand toward her eyes. As she willed it, one of the fingers moved…another…
Am I…Am I moving them…?
A white hand appeared and grasped the wrist; Toaster could feel the warm fingers pressing against skin, even with the terrible throbbing that wracked her. She could see the voices now: Humans. Humans swarmed around the room. Around the bed.
Around her…
A light flashed in her eyes. Toaster shrieked and turned away, looking to the man bending over her, watching her.
But, he couldn't be looking at her. He just couldn't be. And she couldn't be looking back at him. Her protective instinct should have snapped in to keep her still and undetected against human eyes.
But there she was, looking up at him and gasping as his mouth moved deliberately under its thick mustache.
"…Hear me…Can you…hear me…?" Toaster stared dumbly. No, He couldn't be speaking to her. Humans never spoke to her…they…the appliance code stopped them...
She screamed as the agony became too much. She struggled in the bed and felt that strange hand that wasn't hers fall on the blanket.
"…Losing consciousness…"
That human hand…a human hand…
"M-Master…" she whimpered before collapsing.
"…Vitals fine…Pulse steady…"
"…She seems confused…"
The doctor and on -call nurse continued discussing her condition outside of the curtains. Inside, tucked into the hospital bed, Toaster only paid them half a mind as she practiced breath in and out. The pain had dulled, as she had found waking for the second time, leaving only a soft beat that played its rhythm inside of her. From the discussion outside, she gleaned that the medical team couldn't understand what had caused her so much agony when she regained consciousness that first time.
Only now, with her mind clear and her senses righted again, did she even begin to grasp what had hurt her. Not the cuts along her form or the blow to the back of her head, though it still caused dizziness when she tried to sit up. They were healing nicely, or so the last nurse had claimed. The true pain…well, it didn't surprise her now that she that she could think clearly, nor was she bemused that the humans still couldn't guess.
Who would believe that a heart beating for the first time could cause so much torment?
And that was what it was thudding against her now, its steady rhythm still filling her ears as clearly as the beeping from the monitor nearby. A heart. A human heart.
Toaster swallowed. As she had done before when they had rushed her to the emergency room, she drew her hand from the blankets. Turning it back and forth before her eyes, she studied the short pearly nails and veins that spread like streams across the brown skin. Freeing her other hand, she ran each finger down the length of her wrists and arms, cautious with the still sensitive scratches and careful to avoid the IV taped to her left arm. She traced the short tubes that stretched out from the monitor, following them under the hospital gown to the circles taped to her chest. She breathed in, feeling the chest fill and released it when her lungs pleaded. Only one thought filled her mind, punctuated with each beat of that strange new heart.
Human. She was human…she was human…she was human…
The curtain rustled as a nurse stepped inside. Toaster quickly dropped her hands against the bed and lay still, watching her bustle around the machines nearby. It wasn't that she was afraid of her, or any of the others that came near. The medical staff had spoken gently and calmly from the moment she'd woken, never raising their voices or making any move without informing her.
It was just that she couldn't understand…
"Honey?" The nurse was near bending near her. "Honey, are you ready to tell me your name?" Toaster squirmed at the touch of the hand on her shoulder. Even under the flimsy protection of the thin gown, she could feel the fingers warm and beating. She studied the nurse's smile, swallowing again.
"Um…" The voice that emerged was hers. She could hear it plainly. But for all that, she shook at how easily it emerged. She'd never talked to a human before.
"Do you remember your name, Sweetie?" The nurse rubbed her shoulder.
Name? "I'm the..uh…" Toaster. She caught the word before it escaped. Toaster. I'm the toaster. And yet it wasn't true anymore. But she was.
No. You're human.
And that sensible part of her that still remained of the toaster reminded her in silent glimpses of the world she knew that no human would ever, could ever, understand. But what else could she say to the woman waiting so patiently? Her eyes darted around the curtains at either side of the bed, desperate for inspiration. "The uh…the uh…"
"Thea?" The nurse prompted. "Your name is Thea?"
What? Toaster blinked. What was a thea? She studied the woman who smiled so encouragingly at her.
"Um…Yes?" She cocked her head and ended up having to blow tendrils of hair from her mouth.
"Thea." The hand left her shoulder, and Toaster watched her scribble something across a notepad. She smiled again, bending down to Toaster's level. "It's good to meet you, Thea. How are you feeling?"
Odd. Terrified. Amused. Confused. "…Fine? Just fine." She tried to mimic the nurse's smile, but only felt her cheeks ache from the stretch.
The nurse raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's good. I'm just going to check your vitals before your doctor comes. Okay?"
"O-okay." Toaster tried hard to remain still, but she jumped with every movement the nurse made. She'd snuck in enough TV dramas to recall hospitals and words like "vitals" and "stethoscope". Having those things touch her were quite a different matter. She breathed when told, held an electric stick under her tongue, looked straight into a tiny light, and allowed her arm to be squeezed by a nearby machine. She wondered why, just as she always did when she watched those medical dramas, humans did this to each other. What were they looking for?
The nurse finished up just as the front curtain drew back, and a burly bearded man popped his head in.
"Hey-lo, Hey-lo." Toaster recognized the man who had squeezed her wrist and asked if she could hear him. He smiled as widely as the nurse, flourishing a pen out of his pocket. "I see we're awake now."
"Oh, have you been sleeping here, too?" Toaster asked before she could catch herself.
"Well…" The doctor exchanged looks with the nurse as she quietly handed over her clipboard. "Well…yes, in a way…" He studied the clipboard. "Thea?"
"Yes, that's me," Toaster quickly answered. That must have been too quick, she realized, as the two humans exchanged glances.
The pen clicked again as the doctor tucked it into his pocket. He eased down onto the stool by the bed and bent forward so that his hands rested on his knees and his eyes looked directly into her face.
She wanted to hide under the blankets.
"Thea, do you know where you are?"
Toaster shook her head. He named some hospital; one she had never heard of before. She shook her head again. Even in the rare times when she had travelled she had never paid attention to things like hospitals and stores.
"That's okay," he said, his voice calm. "Do you remember how you came here?"
Toaster froze. Her heart- that new, strange heart-began to clamor in her chest.
"How…how I came here…?" How exactly was she supposed to know? How was a toaster supposed to know anything like that? Her mind raced for an answer, as much for her own sake as for the benefit of the humans watching.
How had this happened?
"Do you remember the accident?"
Accident? Toaster wrapped her arms around herself. Accident…Something clicked. She closed her eyes. An accident…back in the van…
Kirby didn't answer her question; perhaps he hadn't heard her after all. It didn't matter anyway. Soon after their conversation ended, the van pulled into the driveway.
"The van's low on gas," the Mistress said, popping her door open.
"I told you we should have stopped," the Master replied.
"I know, I know. But Robbie needs a diaper change, and I need to stretch. Just unload the car and I'll drive down later."
"Nah, don't worry." The Master hefted himself into the driver's seat as the Mistress popped open the sliding side door. "I'll take it down."
"You sure?" The Mistress unbuckled the little master from his car chair and swung Blanky over her shoulder.
"Yeah. It'll just take ten minutes. I'll unload everything when I get back."
"You are so good." From the space between the car side and the backseat, Toaster could see them share a kiss.
The van backed out and returned to bumping along the gravel road. Lampy moaned, and Kirby muttered about needing fresh carpet.
"Don't worry," she had whispered to them. "We'll be home soon. Just hang on a little while."
And then? Then what had happened?
She didn't know. She had drifted off into some pleasant thought, playing her old game of toasting imaginary bread.
And then the car swerved.
The Master shouted. Toaster crashed against the van's side as everything tumbled head over heels…boxes, suitcases…glass shattering around her as her friends cried out…
And she felt herself floating in darkness as it all ceased; still and alone.
Then the pain began.
She screamed as it tore through her. She retched. When she could open her eyes, she saw the van on its side…ditch…smoke rising…Red hair beside the wheels…
Oh, no…oh, no!
Suffering under the pain's grip, aching from colliding with the gravel road, she reached out for him. Her Master...not moving…not moving…
"Kirby. Lampy." She choked on the smoke flooding from the van. No one answered. There was no one there, except the master. Why wasn't he moving?
She can't…she can't…She had to…She stretched out, felt herself grab his shirt and pull, pull with all her might under he was free from the van…
"Thea. It's alright, Thea." Toaster started with a gasp as the doctor pulled her hands away from her eyes. She stared from him to the nurse. When had she covered her face?
There was concern in the doctor's eyes, though his smile stayed intact as he took her hand between both of his. "It's alright. You don't have to remember. You've been through a very traumatic experience."
"I…I…" Toaster couldn't quite find the words. Even as she glanced down to her hand, she remembered clearly seeing it grab the Master's shirt, tug him out from underneath the car, and cling to him.
"I…I saved him…" she whispered. She pulled her hand from the doctor and held it up in front of her eyes again. "I saved him…"
"Yes, you did." He patted her shoulder, his voice light. "You saved the driver. You're a hero."
"No." Toaster shook her head, feeling hair swish over her face. "No, I saved him… like this." She thrust the hand in front of the doctor's face. She had been human in the accident. She had touched her Master with human hands.
Yes…
But, no! That couldn't be. She had been a toaster when the car…turned? Tumbled? She had been a toaster…then turned human?
"But that makes no sense!" Her head began to pound, and she clutched at it with a moan, accidently tugging at the IV.
"That's alright. That's alright." The doctor tried to take her hand again, but she tore it away.
"No!" she screamed, causing both humans to jump. "You don't understand! This isn't supposed to happen!" She shoved him when he tried to reach for her again and slapped back the nurse who was trying to comfort her.
Human…not human…human…not human…
"I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HUMAN!"
Another nurse bustled past the curtain at the Doctor's call. Toaster threw her arms up to shield herself, but couldn't fight off the three of them as they held her down. Suddenly, the fight left her as a warm, drowsy sensation washed through her, quieting even the beating heart. She blinked her eyes to stay awake, and managed to spot a fourth nurse fiddling with a bag connected to her IV. Toaster barely heard the doctor reassuring her that they would talk again when she felt better.
"But…I'm not supposed to be… human…"
