Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek. I just borrowed Kirk & Co. for this story.
Chapter 1: The list
When the away team materialized on the transporter pad Captain Jamie T. Kirk sighed and closed her eyes. "Why does that keep happening to us, Bones?"
She glanced at Doctor Leonard McCoy who scowled and was about to explode. Like herself he had an Elaran wedding bracelet on his right wrist. In his hands he carried a big basket full of alien trinkets.
Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu and two security officers were trying unsuccessfully to suppress smirks when they stepped down the pad.
"I want to see you all in Medbay later for the after-mission-check-ups", McCoy finally said and walked away, shoving the basket in the hands some random Ensign in the transporter room.
"I'll be in my ready room", Jamie mumbled when he was gone and, looking at her bracelet, also left.
Uhura and Sulu exchanged some glances and Montgomery Scott entered the room in that moment.
"Oi, the doctor's in a very bad mood", the Chief Engineer commented, pointing back at the corridor.
"They got hitched again", a Security Ensign said while walking past them.
"That's like the eightst time", Scotty said laughing.
"Ninth", Uhura muttered.
"You're counting?" Scotty replied.
Sulu looked at him amused. "You don't know?"
"Know what?"
Sulu raised a finger in a one-sec-gesture. He went to the transporter console, picked up a random PADD, accessed some protected files in the Enterprise's computer system and handed the PADD to Scotty.
The Engineer's eyes grew wide. "Really?"
Sulu and Uhura nodded.
"Why don't I know about that? I'm on that list, too", he protested, but only acted annoyed. He was rather amused.
Uhura grinned and Sulu's fingers moved over the PADD until a little pop up flashed the words "white alert".
"What's that?" Scotty asked curiously.
"White alert", Sulu and Uhura said in unison.
"Everyone with a subscription to the accidental wedding list is getting a push up message now, that two crewmembers got hitched off world and who they are", Sulu explained.
Scotty looked baffled, then read further. "Hey, why do I only have two accidental off world marriages? There also was that time on Belor 7."
Sulu shook his head. "No, that only counted as engagement according to the Belorians."
The Engineer didn't really listen, he was way too fascinated about the scores. "Look at that, Uhura and Spock are only in third place."
Uhura shrugged her shoulders and held up the left hand with her engagement ring. "The list is for fun, but this here counts."
"So..." Scotty went on. "The captain and the doctor are top at the list. And this was their ninth accidental marriage?"
Sulu grinned and pointed to the Ensign with the basket. The poor red shirt was standing a little lost near the doors and didn't know what to do now.
"Wedding presents?" Scotty asked.
"Yeah", Sulu nodded and winked. "I think there's some nice lingerie in there. And baby stuff."
Uhura took pity on the Ensign. "Carson, call Yeoman Rand and let her take those things to the captain's quarters."
Ensign Carson nodded gratefully and left the transporter room.
"Do the captain and the doctor know about the white alert?" Scotty asked.
"I don't think so", Sulu answered.
"Uhm..." Uhura suddenly made, when she got a quick glance at the scores and pointed at one line. "The seventh entry for Kirk and McCoy..."
Sulu and Scotty followed her finger.
"Carah 3", Sulu read, but didn't understand what she meant. "And?"
"They joined the Federation last month", Uhura explained.
Both men gestured in confusion. They didn't know what the Lieutenant was getting at.
Uhura rolled her eyes. "They're married."
Sulu and Scotty still looked at her confused.
"Yes, accidentally, of course", Sulu said then. "Nine times as of today. But doesn't count for the Federation."
"Carah does now."
"No", Sulu gave back. "That was ten months ago. They weren't in the Federation back then. "
Uhura rolled her eyes again. "And what happens when a world joins the Federation and two people got married there in the past?"
"It becomes valid and legal", Scotty answered before Sulu could.
Sulu shook his head. "But this one didn't. They filed the form 13-13b as usual. You know the drill. Annulment just in case that the marriage ceremony should be acknowledged on some Federations worlds or the planet in question itself should become member at some point in the future."
"Which is exactly what happened here", Uhura gestured.
"But 13-13b..." Sulu started to protest, but trailed off when he suddenly understood. "Oh. My. God."
Uhura grinned.
"What?" Scotty interjected.
"They didn't sent 13-13b for Carah 3?" Sulu whispered in amazement and smirked now too. "They forgot, didn't they?"
Uhura nodded. "Captain Jamie T. Kirk and Doctor Leonard H. McCoy are legally married by Federation law."
Scotty stared at her with an open mouth and tried to process what she just said.
Sulu finally spoke first. "So... uhm... are we telling them?"
Author's notes:
I made up the 13-13b, obviously ;)
I'm not sure yet about the rating T. It might go up.
