Note: This series is inspired by Bolts from the Blue by Sprinter1988 and by Little Bouts of Randomness, written by Redbayly
KIVAHOLOTITAN PRESENTS: POTTERBITS!
VICTORY AFTER-PARTY
The Battle of Hogwarts was won. Voldemort was dead. Most of his Death Eaters and the creatures under his command either ran, surrendered or died. There were a lot of losses on the light side, but there wouldn't be any more. After it was over, people celebrated. They mourned their losses sure but they also celebrated that the worst was over. Sorrow over lost friends and family, coupled with high spirits of finally getting rid of Moldyshorts, a lot of people had turned to booze at that point. Including a certain Boy-Who-Lived.
"Oh, my freakin' head…" Harry potter said as he woke up. He remembered that after he killed Voldemort and snapped the Elder Wand in half he returned to Hogwarts…there was a lot crying and cheering and…afterwards he couldn't remember much aside from lots of Firewhiskey. He should stop drinking that stuff. He knew he was a lightweight.
"Harry, please keep lying down. Your chest is really comfy." A voice muttered. Harry ignored the headache and looked down to see the face of his long-time friend Hermione Granger look up to him, eyes half-open and a bit groggy. She had a look of contentment on her face.
Despite the fact that they were covered in a sheet, he knew both of them were naked. "Hermione? How…we…did…what?"
"If you mean we got together and then officialized our relationship with lots of firewhiskey and a good shag, you are totally right." She said with a bright smile on her face. She seemed to…glow of sorts. "Wish I had held back on those butterbeers and hadn't preferred to be plastered of my ass but I remember enough to know I had the time of my life."
"You're not the only one." Another voice said…coming from Harry's right. Another head has popped up from under the sheets, revealing another beautiful girl his age. He recognized the tanned skin, wavy black hair of Padma Patil. He didn't know how, but Harry always was able to tell them apart. "Boy-Who-Lives is certainly a Boy-Who-Loves."
Harry didn't know whether to feel like someone was going to kill him, or to feel overjoyed (which was stranger since the thought of being killed still hung over his head). "Hermione…Padma…did I really…you two? What is going on?"
"Harry, you are smarter then that. Obviously we were in both mourning and celebrating, we had a few drinks…we came clean with our feelings. We really wanted to act upon those feelings but even drunk as hell you were a bit too noble so Padma and the girls decided to help, but once you got started…Oh man, that was wonderful." Hermione said.
"Hermione…I don't know this side of you." Harry said. A bit of the memories of last evening were slowly returning. Oh yes, Hermione was good in bed. But he still felt scared and happy at the same time, and a bit of the grief of last night…how hadn't he exploded from all those emotions?
"You don't think I only read books related to school did you? I found some interesting books that showed several positions which we tried out…" Hermione said as she seemed to almost dream away and drool.
"I really want to read that book." Padma said.
"Wait…you said earlier that 'you and the girls' were helping me and Hermione…does that mean that…" Harry said as if he wasn't sure if he was going to like the answer.
"That they were not alone." Two more girls rose up from under she sheets. From Hermione's left came forth the Hufflepuff Susan Bones. Her strawberry blond hair was a mess. Her slightly chubby but hot and curvy freckled body was pleasant on the eyes.
"Yeah, we wondered when we were going to join the conversation without coming of as sudden or awkward. But here we are." Daphne Greengrass…She was actually one of the friendliest Slytherins, and the leader of the reinforcements, which composed of Slytherins whom weren't the jerks or bigots the rest of their House was.
"Granted, you were emotionally repressed due to the upbringing of your horrible muggle relatives and the crap you went through the last seven years. So you needed a push, and so did the bookish Granger." Susan added.
"But once you got started you seemed to be in bliss. We liked what we saw. You two were grateful for our help and 'rewarded' us. Damn Harry, for a virgin you were really damn good! And it helped you had a really big wand." Daphne said with a smirk that you could only expect from a Slytherin.
"But…I slept with four girls at the same time. It feels wrong." Harry said.
"Being too noble again, Harry? We approved remember? We wanted to do this." Padma noted.
"And these girls are basically our sisters in arms. They had our backs during the battle, and I trust them. With my body, heart and mind. We are basically family now. And for once in my life I wanted to throw all rules and consequences out the window and let go. We both needed it Harry." Hermione said.
"What are the others going to think of us? Are your families going to kill me?" Harry asked.
"Everyone was basically in a big orgy after last night, they wouldn't have to complain. Besides, you deserve this Harry. After all you've gone through." Hermione said.
"And while you are the famous Boy-Who-Lived and the killer of Voldemort, you are also an all around nice guy, so we trust you with us." Padma said with a bright smile.
"So…In other words. You can finally live a little. I certainly feel more lively." Susan said.
"What are you talking about, I am waking up in…" Harry looked around to where he was. "The Room of Requirement after finally putting an end to Voldemort and getting drunk and get together with four…very hot…girls…wait, why am I complaining? This is great!" Harry said as the knut dropped.
"Now you are getting in the spirit of things. A lot of people aside from us did." Daphne said.
"Really?" Harry asked baffled. He started looking around. He couldn't make out a lot of faces since everyone has cocooned themselves up in the beds and sheets the Room of Requirement has given them.
One of the beds, right across them, stirred. A groan could be heard as Neville Longbottom stirred awake. No longer a pudgy round faced kid, in his adult years he was now tall and muscular and looked rough around the edges. When he stirred awake, his bedmates did too. Neville looked surprised as those were Hannah Abbott (his girlfriend), Luna Lovegood (whom still had that dreamy look in her eyes), Parvati Patil and another benevolent Slytherin girl Tracy Davis. Parvati and Padma gave each other a thumbs up, while Daphne and Tracy (whom are BFF's) gave each other a smirk and a nod.
Neville and Harry stared at each other and their little harems and continued to do so awkwardly until Neville broke the ice: "So…you also got drunk on firewhiskey last night?"
"Eeyup!" Harry noted.
"You also wanted to get intimate with your girlfriend, only to need some help from the other girls?" Neville asked. He was blushing and Hannah, whom was even shyer and meeker then Neville was as red as a tomato and pulled the sheet over her face.
"Eeyup!"
"And you also got yourself a Patil sister and a Slytherin girl?" Neville asked.
"Eeyup!"
"And did it also took a while for you to sink in and realize that is actually pretty awesome?" Neville asked.
"EEYUP!" Harry said, putting more emotion in that last statement and gaining a goofy grin on his face.
"You know, both you and Neville had equal chances on being the Chosen One…But when Neville killed Nagini he also helped in Voldemort's death so you both were the Chosen Ones all along." Hermione said.
"He has a mighty sword for sure…Oh and Gryffindor's was cool too I guess." Parvati said with a smug grin.
"I think it was lovely." Luna said, as if they were talking about the weather. "Don't know why the boys took a bit long to realize things. Why do people overthink things too much. Sometimes you don't have to think, you just have to feel."
"I certainly felt it all right." Tracy Davis said as she drooled at the thought of last night.
"Okay, if things got this crazy last night…what would have happened with the others?" Neville wondered.
They looked around and saw some couples sharing a bed. They saw Percy, whom had picked up his romance with Penelope Clearwater again. Young married Bill and Fleur had clearly been trying to conceive their first child. George and Angelina, devastated by Fred's death had found comfort in each other. Then they found Ron.
Ron was lying on his stomach, and his red hair was how they recognized him. He made an odd snore before he scrambled awake. He saw a bulge under the sheets next to him and grinned. He nudged his 'bed partner' awake. "Good morning Hermione…"
"Er…Ron? I'm over here." Hermione said from across the room, at Harry's side.
Ron turned a bit pale. "Then who…" he wondered. It couldn't be Lavender, she was killed by Greyback. His bedding buddy woke up and tore the sheets of her. Ron screamed in a high girlish tone as he looked in the pug-like face of Pansy Parkinson. "PANSY? How…Did I sleep with a filthy serpent?"
Pansy had been screaming too. "Serpent? I have been sleeping with a blood-treacherous pauper!" Pansy would have been a pretty girl, if she didn't scowl all the time at anything that she didn't like (which is pretty much everyone) and made her look pug-faced. She also tried to sell out Harry.
"How did you even get back in here? I thought you were on the Death Eater's side!" Ron asked.
"I dunno…I didn't want to be escorted out, I broke off from the group but when the battle start and things went barmy I started firing spells around not knowing whom I was firing them at and I panicked…everyone was happy when the Dark Lord fell so I kept quiet and they didn't notice me…I shouldn't have picked up that firewhiskey…oh that must be how I ended up with…" Pansy said as she buried her face in her hands.
"I tried to end up with Hermione, not you!" Ron moaned.
"It wouldn't have worked, Ronald. You are kind of a prat." Hermione said. "You kind of left me and Harry in the middle of the quest and I haven't forgiven you for that."
"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad." Ron said awkwardly.
"We were nearly starving and looking for needles in haystacks while you were cozy with your brother and his wife freeloading. Not to mention that time that you turned on Harry when he became a Triwizard champion, and when you insulted Hermione in our first year that caused her to become a target of that troll…" Harry added.
"I know I'm not one to speak, but that makes you really sound like a prat." Pansy said. "I would have laughed at your expense if I didn't lose my virginity to you."
"Why doesn't anything ever go my way?" Ron moaned.
"You actually don't do much. Harry and Hermione had to push you into studying and while you have some skills, you don't push yourself enough to become a pro in either Wizard Chess or Quidditch." Luna Lovegood said.
"Hey, I'm not the bad guy here." Ron said.
"No, you are an idiot. Oh man…What are my parents going to think of me now?" Pansy whimpered.
"We can't be the only one whom got the short end of the stick…sure Harry with his superluck and Neville with luck that must have been given by a god taking pity on him got themselves four each, but it is impossible that I have it the worst…" Ron looked around. His siblings didn't seem to have bad partners. But he couldn't see his dad, Charlie or Ginny at first.
Until one by one they untangled themselves form their sheets like many others did before. Oddly enough Ginny crawled from beneath some sheets with a girl that Harry knew was from Hufflepuff…Sally-Anne Perks he believed her name was. "What the…" Ron asked. Harry was also surprised.
"I couldn't have Harry…and my other relationships with boys didn't end up so well…I got in a bit of self-discovery. And during my time in Dumbledore's army I found Sally and…" Ginny noted.
"We are happy with each other. Ginny is a wonderful little spitfire." Sally said, grabbing Ginny's hand and kissing it.
"Even my sister got a better girl then me…" Ron curled up in a ball and sulked.
"Somebody Avada Kedavra me…" Pansy said as she mimicked Ron.
"Can this get any crazier?" Harry wondered.
It was then that they found Arthur Weasley waking up…With Narcissa Malfoy besides him. "I haven't had that much Firewhiskey since my second honeymoon…"
"Dad, what are you doing with Malfoy's mum?" Ron screamed.
"Well you see…I was sad about your mother's death…" Arthur said. Poor Molly got killed by Bellatrix. But Bellatrix then was assaulted by the remaining Weasley clan. A skilled Cursebreaker, a furious husband, a dragonhandler, a studious son and the remaining twin with a cunning intelligent mind for pranking and a little spitfire taught by the DA, Bellatrix was quickly disposed of. Oh, and Ron was there too, doing…something I guess.
"And I was sad about Lucius." Yeah, the Dark Lord didn't like being lied to and made Narcissa pay by taking her husband "Arthur and I could relate. He was such a nice man, and I feel bad for ever insulting him. But he made me feel better. Man, now I know why he got so many kids, Molly must have had the time of her life." Narcissa said. "I loved Lucius but he was an idiot in bed. But you Arthur, hot damn!"
"I can never unsee this! Bad images!" Ron groaned.
"I wonder how Draco would react to all of this. He'd be horrified too I guess." Ginny said with a pondering look.
"Oh he is. Look over there." Luna said as he pointed at the blonde ferret in question.
His mouth hung wide open, as was his jaw. "Mum?"
"Hello sweetheart!" Narcissa waved at her son, no shame at all.
"B-b-but…and Pansy? You and Weasley?" Draco muttered, unable to comprehend everything.
"Don't look at me Draco!" Pansy said in shame, covering herself in her sheets.
"This isn't happening! This isn't happening! How can things get worse?" Draco asked. While Draco and the Malfoys redeemed themselves a bit turning on Voldemort…Harry couldn't help but smirk at Malfoy's misfortune. After all, the git still tormented him for seven years. "My mom slept with a Weasley, my girlfriend slept with a Weasley, how can things get any worse?"
Malfoy should not have said that. As from Draco's left side the shape of his bed partner from last night got up and loomed over him. Millicent Bulstrode was for the Slytherin girls what Crabbe and Goyle were to the boys, being of a bigger and burlier build. She wasn't hag ugly but she was not found very attractive. But now that blocky face of her had a content grin as she gave a sultry "Good morning loverboy!" Well as sultry as she could sound with a deep voice like her.
Malfoy was even more horrified. The others, minus Ron Weasley, Arthur Weasley and Narcissa couldn't help but laugh. Malfoy slapped himself. "Wake up Draco, wake up Draco! Wake up!"
"I assure you, you are not dreaming, my love. I am real and you have given me the best night of my life. Despite your little D you managed to thoroughly pleasure me." Millicent added. Malfoy began banging his head on the bedpost.
Harry thought things were getting a bit too hectic. He felt like something to relief the tension. "Well, I don't know about you girls but I think we should go for another round before we start to think how to resolve everything."
"Yes, I think another round of rhythmic movements of our hips for our mutual pleasure would be advised." Hermione said.
"How can you suck the sexy out of Harry Potter?" Padma asked.
"I think we all did that last night." Susan added.
"True that." Daphne finished.
"I'm going with the flow, so screw this!" Neville said. "Or rather, screw you four lovely ladies." Neville said to his own harem.
"I second that!" Hannah said, overcoming her shyness for some more of Neville's sexual prowess. She and her 'sister-girlfriends' of sorts.
Everyone else also went another round with their bed buddy. Malfoy was basically jumped by Millicent. As for Ron and Pansy… "Well, we may not like each other…But the only reason to resolve this without spellwork or killing each other is hate-sex to get it out of our system…" Ron said.
"I guess so. But I'll be on top this time." Pansy said, emotionlessly.
After that…things went rather well. Harry kept his harem, as all four girls loved him, he loved them, they got along and saw each other as sisters and family. Same as Neville and his harem (Luna was the most excited because she wanted a big family).
Oddly enough, all parents approved. I guess they don't mind having the two greatest heroes in the wizarding world in their collective families and thought it would also bring them more grand-children.
Narcissa and Arthur got together, and Draco and Ron were horrified to become stepbrothers, and they couldn't get away from their bedding buddies again since the irate parents of Bulstrode and Parkinson had them stuck in a shotgun wedding. The alliance created with the Weasley as a result of these marriages had the Burrow converted into a big farm which was used to restock and regrow supplies lost in the war, bringing the families whom lost their gold in the war back on track, and the Weasleys out of poverty.
The other Weasley's couldn't stand Draco, but warmed up to Narcissa. But Draco couldn't do a lot wrong with his hulking wife keeping him in line. He, Millicent, Ron and Pansy worked on the new Burrows Farm and were miserable.
But everyone else was happy, and through these harem marriages became one big mostly happy family.
Luna was just finishing a story to her children, nephews and nieces and sort-of-children through her sister-wives the story of the after-party that occurred after the Battle of Hogwarts.
"AND THEN LOTS OF SEX HAPPENED!"
"Luna, I think they are a bit too young to be emotionally scarred for life. You only get to do that when they hit puberty." Harry noted to his sister-in-law.
