"Hey, is your cell phone charged? We wouldn't want to lose touch if something were to happen." Humming eerily with his eyes opened wide, Mulder brought his hands up in front of her face and wiggled them, in what a child might describe as a "boogadah, boogadah" gesture.

"You know, Mulder, sometimes I think even you don't take yourself seriously." Brushing his hands aside she began walking toward the overgrown trail head.

They don't call me 'Spooky' Mulder for nothing." He shrugged his backpack into a more comfortable position and followed. The sun pierced through the canopy of leaves creating a kaleidoscope of colors on the ground below as they carefully picked their way into the woods.


Earlier That Afternoon
Rental Car
Destination: Woods Near Burkittsville
aka The Blair Witch's Lair

"Come on, Scully, get in the spirit of things." Mulder shot a glance at his silent companion.

Scully only rolled her eyes in response.

Mulder sighed and changed lanes to get past a slow moving U-haul. "Did you really order a stick figure pin?"

silence



Finally she spoke. "What exactly are we going to be doing?" Scully wasn't overly thrilled, but she felt she had tortured him enough, for now.

A smile spread across Mulder's face as he began to speak.

God, sometimes he's just like a little boy. He's been through so much and yet he can hold onto that quality. How could I not want to help him? Do anything I could for him, for his quest? Within reason, of course. Reason. Haven't I seen enough to know reason doesn't always play a part? Haven't I been through enough?

She let him ramble on. She wasn't ignoring him, technically. She knew enough of the "facts," but she also knew that her partner liked to talk through a case. He came up with ideas, different angles, as he spoke. Although, when she was in a less than charitable mood, she'd say he just liked to hear the sound of his own voice.

A little breath of laughter escaped her. Mulder stopped talking and looked over at her, when she simply returned his gaze, he continued on with his vocal rumination. She turned her attention to the scenery and smiled to herself.

We're like an old married couple. We're each other's greatest ally, but we are also, each in turn, the quickest to criticize, to point out the weaknesses, to expose the flaws in the other's ideas or actions. But is that a negative? Maybe that's for the best; better than blind approval, mute acceptance. If we question each other, we question ourselves, our beliefs become truer, less set by habit or stubbornness.

She watched as a farm flashed by the window; house, barns, fields. It all looked so peaceful.



~~*~~



Mulder looked over to her periodically. He knew she wouldn't be listening. She usually let him talk things through on these car rides. He needed to think aloud. Sometimes, though, he wondered if he just liked the sound of his own voice. This time when he looked over, he caught a faint version of her reflected in the window. A smile played at the corners of her mouth.

What are you smiling at, Scully? Is it the farm that just passed by? Do you dream of a life like that? Are you tired of the life we have? Of course you are. Look at everything we've gone through. Everything you've gone through. Sometimes I think the day you walked into my office was the best day of my life, but I worry, was it the worst day of yours?

"Unfortunately, most of the townspeople deny any legend of a witch. So, hopefully we'll be able to learn more by actually seeing these places." He said the last firmly so as to indicate to Scully he was finished; that usually brought her around.

She turned to him. "You just want a vacation without ruining your perfect attendance record."

She was literally glowing as the sun's rays bounced of her fiery hair. "I think I've ruined that record a few times of late."


Later That Evening
Campsite Near East Tappy Creek
Deep In The Blair Witch's Lair

"Mulder! Watch it!" Scully leaned over and pulled the stick from his hand. "That's disgusting."

"That's how you cook a marshmallow."

"It's all burnt, Mulder."

He put two more marshmallows on the stick and leaned back against the log.

"Were we actually looking for anything today?"

"Just because we didn't find anything, doesn't mean we weren't looking, Scully. Maybe it will find us," he offered in a half-whisper.

She matched his tone: "Maybe all that will be left of us is a horrible stench of death."

"Oooh Scully, cut it out, you're giving me the creeps."

"You don't believe any of this, Mulder, do you?"

"It needed investigating, Scully. We can't rule anything out till we've investigated thoroughly."

"Is that why you brought that collapsible fishing rod? You have to check out that stream for any suspicious fish?"

"Something like that."

"Why didn't you just ask me?"

"Ask you what?"

"Ask me to come here with you."

"I did. Remember our little matinee?"

"Remember the last time we went impromptu camping?"

"We've never had much luck at it, have we?"

Flames engulfed another victim.

"You're burning mine again!" She got up and walked over and sat next to him by the log. She reached over and picked up a stick. "I'll make my own." Eyeing him evenly she said, "You can't be trusted."

He took a marshmallow from the bag and handed it to her. "One for you..." Then he brought the stick to his mouth and took one of the blackened morsels. "And two for me," he said through a gooey mouth of marshmallow. He gulped the one down and bit into the other.


Shortly Before Dawn
Tent
Campsite Near East Tappy Creek
Deep In The Blair Witch's Lair

An eerie howl accompanied by an unnatural shooshing sound filled the woods around the agents' tent, the sides of which shook viciously.

"What the HELL* was that?" Scully struggled with her sleeping bag as she tried to sit up.

Mulder casually propped himself up on his elbow. "Calm down, Scully. It's just a dog, or a wolf, or some other animal."

"Wolf? I feel much better now. Are there really wolves in Maryland?" She slid into the tent's wall again as she continued to struggle with the slick sleeping bag.

"What are doing over there?"

"I'm trying to get out of this thing; it's all twisted around me and the zipper won't budge!"

"Relax. It's like a Chinese finger puzzle, the more you struggle the harder it is to get out."

"Stop laughing." Scully threw herself down on the ground. "I give up."

"What's happened to you, Scully? You're usually so calm and in control. A few hours in these woods, and you've lost it. Maybe there is something to this legend."

"I think there's been a rock in my back for the last few hours, and I've got sugar-head from all those marshmallows. I can't be held responsible, and neither can any made-up witch."

"I'll switch places with you, Scully. Lean over here and I'll get that zipper for you."

She rolled over to him and he pulled the zipper down with his first try. She shook herself out of the bag and stood, as much as she could in the low tent. She straightened her clothes, pulling her shirt around so that the "FBI" faced forward. "Okay, I'll step over you and then you can move over into my spot. Enjoy that rock."

But, she overestimated, putting her foot down on the side of the tent instead of the floor. The tent shifted, stakes worked loose, and the side of the tent rose. To avoid crashing forward, she sat back quickly, right onto the rock that'd been working into her back all night.

"Dammit."

Another howl filled the woods; a Fox's. "I wish I had a camera!"

She raised her head and looked at him laughing. Just like a little boy. "I hate you, Fox Mulder."

His laughter subsided and he smiled. Reaching out a hand and placing it on her shoulder, he said, "I hate you, too, Dana Scully."



~~*~~



Early the Following Morning
East Tappy Creek
Deep In The Blair Witch's Lair


"Does this look like a coffin to you?"

"Mulder. The directors of the movie called it that in their fake legend because the fictional men were butchered there, not because it resembled a coffin."

Fox Mulder was standing on a long, flat rock by the edge of the creek, fishing rod in hand. Sunlight danced on the water as a breeze gently shook the trees, animating the vibrant autumn leaves.

"Why do you think they would have been bound to each other, hands to feet?"

"Isn't that your area? Or are you just setting the stage for some lengthy monologue for your audience of one? Your captive audience, I might add."

Scully sat cross-legged next to him, a frown creasing her brow. Sleep had not come easily the night before, and what had come was fitful.

Mulder looked down at her. She could feel his stare. "What?" She was the picture of innocence as she turned to him.

"Tired?"

"No."

Her quick response was met with a questioning look.

"Sorry." She leaned forward and used a stick to poke at the mud in the tread of her boots.

I hate this. I hate the way he's looking at me like I'm some pathetic creature that can't handle roughing it. I hate that I feel like some pathetic creature that can't handle roughing it. And more than anything, I hate it when he's right... and I'm wrong. Lucky for me, that doesn't happen very often.

She looked up at the slow moving water and smiled.

Okay, I'm going to relax. I'm going to take a few moments to just breathe and relax. This is a beautiful woodland setting. We're not chasing glow-in-the-dark killer bugs or fountain-of-youth-protecting human chameleons. We're not chasing anything. No matter what he says.

I'm going to relax. I'm going to just sit here and breathe deeply and relax.


Mulder watched her strong, slender fingers loosen their grip on the stick she'd been using to assault the bottoms of her boots. Her eyes closed, her face slowly softened, and her entire body visibly relaxed.

What I really hate... hate... love... fine line... is that I can be this way with him. Out of sorts, not in control at all (unbelievable), unguarded. It doesn't matter. When we're together, he's just Mulder, and I'm just Scully. No greater expectations than doing our respective jobs well and being able to at least listen to each other's points... and supporting each other.

Tucking a section of hair behind her ear, she raised her head and said, "Sorry." - and this time she meant it. "I don't know why I couldn't sleep last night, but it made me... less than content?" she tried.

A nod of agreement from her partner.

Placing a hand on either side of her, she pushed up from the rock and walked the few steps to him. "Finding any evidence in there, Mulder?"


Later That Evening
Campsite
Deeper Into The Blair Witch's Lair

"You're not going to cook those the same way you cooked the marshmallows are you?"

"And ruin that fine job of gutting you did? Why did I never think of bringing trained medical personnel with me before now?" He finished arranging the racks over the fire and placed the fillets evenly on top of them.

"You certainly did bring all the right equipment on this investigation."

"Always be prepared."

"Some boy scout, I know we were lost this afternoon."

"I know exactly where we are."

"Mm-hmm, so do I... lost in the woods somewhere near Burkittsville, Maryland. Someone might have to make a movie about us."

"Now why would anyone want to do that? Nothing exciting ever happens to us. Besides, we're not lost, we're meandering. We'll have no problems finding our way out of here."

"What about all the mysterious happenings?"

He didn't take the bait this time.

The heat from the fire came in waves, a warm breeze fighting off the chill of the cool night air. They could hear the trees above them creating soft music as they swayed.

"It's nice, isn't it?"

"Mm."

The serene moment was ruined when all around them there erupted what sounded like a cross between children's wailing and a dying rhino crashing about in the woods.

Instinctively, the agents dove into their packs and fished out their weapons. Grabbing flashlights they jumped to their feet and with a glance indicated that they would split up and circle the area behind the tent.

Scully darted over to the first tree and leaning against it called out, "Hello? I'm a doctor. Do you need help?"

The discordant sounds continued with no sign of response. As the agents moved toward each other again, Mulder shouted over the din, "It seems like it's all around us, but as we move, the source moves."

"It must be set up on speakers somehow."

"Speakers?"

"Someone's just trying to scare us, Mulder."

"Why? Pretty elaborate scheme just to scare two campers." They were nearly standing on top of each other, but he still had to yell to be heard. "This is better than a Metallica concert."

"I don't think they're going anywhere and we're not going to find anything in the dark. Let's just get back to the tent. Next time the boy scout will have to remember ear plugs."


---------------

"Aw, damn! The fish."

"Poisson à la Mulder."



~~*~~




The urge to reach out and caress her face, to brush my thumb softly across her lips__

Mulder quickly rolled over onto his back, while Scully continued to sleep, oblivious to the torment the mere sight of her was causing her partner.

Can not think that way. He threw back his sleeping bag hoping that the crisp morning air would help cool his emotions. He drew his hands up behind his head, but soon lost the fight and stole another look at her.

So beautiful. She looks so peaceful. The way her head's tilted in toward her body; her arm wrapped around her, clutching the sleeping bag to her chin; the stray bit of hair falling down, tickling the edge of her mouth__ OK Outside.

He quietly, but quickly, crawled out of the sleeping bag, dove into the corner for his sweatshirt, and zipped out of the tent.

Problem solved. He dug his hands into the pockets of his jeans and strode toward the remains of the campfire. The air puffed out of his mouth in wispy little clouds which trailed behind him slightly as he walked. "Damn, it's cold!" The trees shook in agreement releasing a few of their colorful leaves. Mulder brushed a leaf from his hair as he knelt to start the fire.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

Mulder's backside hit the ground. "Don't do that."

Scully stepped toward him, fumbling to fasten her hair back in a short ponytail. When she reached him she looked down and asked, "Is there an award for scaring 'Spooky' Mulder?"

He raised himself back up and carefully finished his task in silence.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she lowered into a squat beside him, "that witch in your head distracting your keen, FBI-trained senses?"

"There's been only one witch on my mind this morning... and she has red hair," he answered truthfully, pulling at a loose tendril of her hair.

"Well, then." She stood up and headed for the tent. When she returned, he had started water boiling in a pot over the fire. She handed him a cup, "Need this?"

"Yeah, and that, too." He pointed at the coffee she now held in her hand.

"Something wrong, Mulder?" She passed him the jar and continued to root through the supplies.

He spooned the coffee into his cup and gestured for her to bring the other closer and adding some there as well, topped it off with the boiling water. "Just needed some of this." He held up his cup.

"Liar," but she moved on to the events of the previous night, "So, who wants to get rid of us? Like you said, it's a fairly elaborate scheme. Who's hiding what?" She cautiously took a sip of coffee.

He settled down next to her and grabbing a granola bar from her outstretched hand, bit into it and immediately made a face. "This will kill us all." He brandished the evidence in front of her. "Evil in the guise of goodness."

Scully shook her lowered head.

"Well," he continued, "we should probably look around today and see if we can find any evidence to support your 'remote-control-rotating-speaker' theory."

"I can't believe it. You make it sound so irrational." She paused briefly, "Yes, I can." She stood up and dusted herself off. Throwing the remains of her coffee into the fire, she turned slightly, "I'm going to find that equipment."

"I love to see that fire in your eye."

She pursed her lips. "Mul__ forget it."


Later
Somewhere in Those D#@! Woods
Blair Witch? Haven't Seen Her



"Ah-ha! Got one." Scully's neck craned back as she gazed upward into the dense branches of a tree.

Mulder jogged over to where she stood and searched the area she indicated with her pointing hand. He could just see the edge of something dull green in color. "They should have planned better for Fall," he grunted as he reached up with the stick he'd been using to halfheartedly poke at the other trees.

Snaking the stick amongst the maze of limbs, he finally managed to dislodge the device and it came crashing down. Scully pushed herself and Mulder into the trunk to avoid its impact. Mulder leaned forward to look over her shoulder and down at the equipment partially lodged into the soft earth. "Wow. Avoiding that bouncing off my hard head and I get an armful of the prettiest G-man in the woods, all before lunch." He looked back down at Scully, "Not bad."

She pulled herself away and stared at him hard for a moment before responding. "It must be your lucky day." She bent down and gave the object a cursory examination. "It's a speaker, all right." Picking it up she turned to him and hefting it remarked, "A good smack with this might have done you some good. There is some medical proof to the old adage of knocking sense into people."

"You can rough me up later, Scully. Right now, I think we should look around for more of these," he took the speaker from her, "We've found out the how, but what about the why?

She wiped the dirt off her hands and peered into the tapestry of leaves overhead. "Yes, why?"



~~*~~



Even Later
Burkittsville Town Square
Right out front of Pam's "Hair Today" Salon



"I told you not to try that trick on them. They're not a group of hysterical college students, they're FBI agents...and not just any FBI agents, but FBI agents that specialize in just this sort of case. Mysterious noises in the dark of night in a 'haunted' wood is right up their alley. You've managed to pique their interest, not scare them off."

The little man scratched at his greasy tangle of hair and looked anywhere but at the old man who had been lecturing him for the better part of an hour. "I know, I know. But what was I supposed to do?" he said, a whine creeping into his low, lazy voice. "That's my job, right? It's what I always do. How was I supposed to know? How could I tell who they were? They looked like your average squabbling husband and wife trying to make a go of it on a camping trip." He paused for a moment and thought back to the image of the red-haired woman sitting atop "Coffin Rock" brooding. "Well, she's anything but average," he offered before he could catch himself.

The man's hand snaked up and smacked him upside the head before he knew what hit him, literally. "Don't even think about it Lloyd. You've done enough for now." The man unconsciously wiped his hand off on his pants leg.

"Ow!" Lloyd reached up and rubbed the side of his head. "You didn't have to do that Jasper. I wasn't thinking nothing."

"That's Mr. Thomas, boy, and you better not. I do the thinking here. I'll have to talk to the others about this and we'll decide what's to be done with them...and you."

He watched Jasp_ Mr. Thomas walk away quickly. Spry for an old guy, but weren't they all? Lloyd wondered how far he could get by nightfall - before the elders met and meted out their punishment. But he couldn't leave Burkittsville, could he? None of them could.


Same Time
End of the Line
Rock Outcropping



"Now where?" Mulder squinted up at the edge of trees which ended abruptly at the steep wall of rocky mountain behind him. "No ideas, oh scientific one?" There was no reply to his questions. He turned round full circle before spotting her sitting at the base of the rock formation. She was chewing on an apple and obviously ignoring him.

"Scully?"

"You've asked me the same questions thirty times already. I'm sticking with the answer I gave the first time...'I don't know.'" She stated the last three words slowly and clearly, raising her free hand in a questioning gesture.

His shoulders slumped as he moved toward her. "Where'd you get that?" He reached for the half-eaten apple.

She pulled away from him turning her head as she bit into the fruit. "Uh-uh. My own stash."

He collapsed next to her leaning his head against the cool rock. He tried to think out their latest dilemma, where the haphazard and yet obvious trail of speakers ended, but all he could hear was "that woman" munching away. He lowered his head to his chest and pursed his lips. He looked up at her, brows knitted together.

She knew what he was doing before she sneaked a peek out of the corner of her eye. "Mulder, just how old are you?" She poked her hand into her bag and brought out an apple. He snatched up the projectile before it made contact with his nose and smiled brightly at her before sinking his teeth in. Juice dribbled down his chin. "Why didn't I bring some of these?"

"Wouldn't fit after all those damn seeds." She stood, tossing the apple core into the woods. Turning, she looked up at the rock face. "Where, now?"

"Oh, change the word order and it's okay."

She continued to scan the wall unfazed by his remark. "It has to begin inside here." She placed her hand against the rock.

"But Spock, that's illogical."

She grimaced down at him briefly before replying, "That analogy doesn't work. You're no Captain Kirk - he always got the girl. Everyone knows you never get any..I mean, the girl." She continued to gaze at the puzzle before her. A few moments later, she heard him whip the remains of the apple out through the trees.

"Okay, Nolan. Where's the most likely place? Up there in that crevice?" She pointed up the wall to the right, indicating a shadowy place beneath a jutting portion of rock.

"Damn, and I forgot my climbing gear. How am I supposed to get up there?"

"Climb."

"Climb?"

After a dozen unsuccessful attempts, Mulder lay on the ground where he landed. Tired and worse for wear. Tiny, and not so tiny, cuts covered his hands. "Evidently, I'm not Spiderman, either."

"Patch me up, Florence." He held his hands up toward her.

She grabbed a small first aid kit and dropped to the ground beside him. "Baby."

She poured the stinging liquid over his fingers and hands. "Ow! Make that Dr. Jekyll."


Later Still
Not Telling



Twelve figures formed a circle around the trunk of a once gigantic oak. Wearing green hooded robes, they listened soberly to their high elder, Jasper Thomas:

"Having decided the agents' fate, we need now consider that of one of our own. The strangers were nearly past our most sacred place before the interference of Lloyd Cramer, whom I had personally instructed to do just the opposite. It is therefore with regret that I put to you for your most serious consideration that we banish him from the wood to meet his fate amongst the unchosen."

Each figure slowly raised a closed hand spreading their fingers to drop a stone upon the table - all stones were black.

"An unfortunate, but necessary decision, my friends."

They knew better than to cross their leader for he alone could call upon the powers of their most sacred place: without him, it was useless; without it, they were dead.


To be continued...


* In this evening's performance, the part of "F@#&" is being played by "HELL."
Dana Scully does not use the "foulest of foul words."



The X-Files is ©1013 Productions and 20th Century Fox Television.
The Blair Witch Project ©1999 Haxan Films and Artisan Entertainment.
©1999 Raye - This story is not to be sold/used for profit. Copies must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.