Just hours after Julia's funeral, John laid in his bed crying softly into his pillow. His mother, Julia, who had barley known was dead. He was just getting to know her and she was gone. Never to show her curly red hair again, and John barely knew her. Fucking Mimi kept her away from him and him away from her. Taken away from him so early. He flashed his sore eyes open as he heard a small knock on the door.
"John..." A timid voice asked from behind the door. John sat up, knowing that it wasn't Mimi or Paul.
"Mum?"
"No.." John sighed deeply and took a swig of whiskey. "Can I please come in."
"Fine." John laid back down on the bed, burying his face into a pillow.
A small young lady with dark brown hair that dropped perfectly onto her shoulders entered the room and sat down next to John. John turned around and looked at her. He pulled her down on top of him, cupped her face, and hovered his lips close to hers.
"Marie, my angel face. Please forgive me." Married latched her arms around his neck and put him into a straddle.
"How are you?"
"How D'you think?" John snarled.
"I'm so sorry."
John buried his head back into his pillow and pushed Marie off of him. He didn't want her right now. He didn't want anybody right now. Nobody could ease his ever lasting pain. No one knew how he felt. Except Paul. Marie's eyes widened in shock since she had never seen John act like this.
"John.."
"Just go."
"John please, just let me talk about it." Marie begged, straddling John again. John sighed and softly pushed her off again.
"Marie, my guardian angel. Please, I don't want to have to force you out of here."
"Can I stop by after work tomorrow?" Marie asked with a small pout.
"Maybe." Marie leaned down and kissed John's forehead.
"Don't be so gloomy, John. Try to get better." John was silent and just turned over onto his stomach as he heard Marie get up and leave.
He turned onto his side and faced the wall as more tears leaked onto the bed sheets. Sobbing quietly, John took his pillow and sobbed violently. He had never felt this much pain in his life before except for when Uncle George died. He trembled violently against the tears.
He stood up and walked to his coat and grabbed his cigarettes and lighter. He slipped the ciggie into his mouth and tried to light it. His hands were still trembling violently and as he went to light the cigarette he burnt his fingers.
"Fuck!" He exclaimed, dropping the lighter. John dropped the cigarette down on the table and stared out the window and gasped as he felt some arms around him. "Marie, my angel. Not today please. I don't wish to see anyone today."
"Well I thought you would at least want to see me." Paul whispered in John's ear soothingly. "But if you want me to leave, I will."
"Paulie..." John whimpered as he turned to him.
"Come here baby." Paul opened his arms.
John whimpered loudly and clung to Paul, sobbing loudly. Paul kissed his ear and took him over to the bed. He softly rubbed John's back and laid down with him. John buried his head in his boyfriend's chest and curled up into a ball against him and trying to control his (what seemed to be) uncontrollable sobs.
"Shhh. Johnny baby. I'm here, I'm here." Paul whispered into the older boy's ear. "Baby I know it hurts."
"I never thought it would happen." He managed to choke out to Paul's chest. "And it all happened so fast!"
"I know. It's horrible for someone you love to be taken away from you so early." Paul rubbed his back.
John slowly looked up at Paul with tears still violently falling down his face. He gripped him tighter and stifles a whimper. Paul sighed deeply
and kissed John's forehead. The pain he could feel John going through was too much for him to handle.
"Go to sleep Johnny. Sleep pretty darling, do not cry. Golden Slumbers fill your eyes and smiles will wait for you when you wake up. Sleep pretty darling, do not cry, for I will sing a lullaby."
John buried his head in Paul's chest and closed his eyes.
"Wake me if something happens?"
"Of course darling boy but you need to sleep." Paul whispered. "You need to relax and get your mind off of things. You've had a very traumatizing day and if you don't try to get rest you're going get horrible insomnia and that's never good." By the time Paul looked down John was fast asleep.
Paul softly parted some hair from his face and kissed his forehead. "I love you, John Lennon. We'll get through this together. Trust me."
