Paterson woke right before his watch read 6:15 just like he had every other day since he had come back home after his nearly three year long military career. He set it back down on his bedside table and let out a deep sigh as he stared up at the ceiling. Another day of the same. He would drive the bus until his break, have lunch in the park and then drive until his shift was over. In all honesty, he didn't really mind driving the bus, it was peaceful and he had plenty of time to think. He liked to listen to people's conversations and sometimes they would even inspire one of his poems. Then he would go home, have dinner and take a shower. He would take Marvin for a walk and stop at the bar for a beer that he never could quite finish and he would come home and relax with a book before going to sleep. He did enjoy his easy routine but a sadness followed him like a shadow everywhere he went, deepened by isolation and the abundance of time he spent alone with his thoughts.

He turned to his side and slipped his arm around Ash's waist, moving his hand up to his chest to feel his artificial heartbeat and his too steady breathing. He nuzzled into his back before pressing a kiss between his shoulders, nose poking his eerily smooth skin just before his lips touched. He planted a few sweet kisses on the back of his neck before pressing his face into him, trying to hide himself from the day ahead. Maybe he could.

He did love Ash, more than he had ever thought was possible, and he considered himself lucky to have found him but even so, he never expected Ash to fix things for him. He never expected the almost constant ache in his chest to go away. He never expected that the forever cold shower water wouldn't drown out his unwelcome tears. He never expected not to go to sleep and wish he might never wake up.

Ash inhaled deeply and let his breath out slowly as he took Paterson's hand in his own and moved it from his chest up to his lips. He kissed his fingers gently and could feel Paterson smile against his skin.

"I have to go to work," Paterson whispered, leaning up on his elbow and kissing behind Ash's ear, savoring the fresh scent of his shampoo.

Ash rolled to his back, keeping Paterson's hand in his own as he moved his other arm around his neck. He pulled him closer and arched up to leave a lazy kiss on his lips and then nuzzled into his chest, inhaling the scent of cologne and beer.

"I don't want you to go."

"Neither do I."