Returning to the Darkness
"Hey Ani" said Teare. "Come here." "Why?" Replied the 9 year old Anakin Skywalker. "I want to show you something really cool that's why now come on before I change my mind." Anakin knew better than to trust Teare he had been in the young intiates living quarters for almost two months, and he had failed to make any new friends he really missed Obi-Wan. He was away on a solo mission, before he had left Anakin had been staying with him in the old room that he and Qui-Gon had shared. Anakin remembered the first day they went home from Naboo.
As soon as Obi-Wan had walked through the door he was hit with a wave of painful memories and emotions it was almost too much for him to bare he stopped at the doorway and stared at the living room with a blank expression on his face. Anakin wished he could say or do something, but he barley knew Obi-Wan and although he had grown close to Qui-Gon he realized he barley knew him either. He couldn't imagine what Obi-Wan felt except for when he left his mother, but at least he knew that she was still alive. Obi-Wan on the other hand had seen Qui-Gon struck down right in front of him. "Master?" Anakin said softly as looked up at Obi-Wan with questioning eyes.
The sound of the young child's voice pulled Obi-Wan from his thoughts. "Chem! You can have my old room Anakin I'll take . . . . .I'll take." "Qui-Gon's" Anakin finished for him. "Right just let me clear out my things for you, so you can fit all of your things in there." "Thank you Master Obi-Wan." Obi-Wan looked down at him and smiled and silently walked to his room. He went and began putting his few possessions in boxes it didn't take him very long to complete the task, and with one final glance over his shoulder. He saw the image of his younger self with Qui-Gon sitting on the bed together both laughing hysterically he could only smile at the happy memory. Then he turned and walked out the door.
"Alright Ani it's all yours!" Anakin smile brightly at him he called him Ani
Obi-Wan had never done that before. Anakin thought happily to himself he wasn't really very sure if the young Jedi liked him much, but that was a start.
"Thank you Master" the child said taking his bag and heading for his new room. Leaving Obi-Wan to do the same, he walked in put his box on the bed and looked around. Qui-Gon had all his things neatly arranged things he had been given on missions, things that Obi-Wan had given him. He looked around and put his box in a corner took out his clothes hung them up and carefully took out Qui-Gon's out and folded them up and put them in his box, and pushed it into the back of the closet.
Pulling out only one item from it.
He held Qui-Gon's lightsaber in his hands staring at it. It was magnificent it was a perfect reminder of Qui-Gon's character it appeared simple, but yet both powerful and beautiful he attached it to a wooden frame and nailed it to the wall next to a picture of Qui-Gon, Mace, Yoda, and him. He then reached for his new lightsaber he had redesigned it to look almost exactly like Qui-Gon's keeping it silver and black with a chromed ring on the bottom, but he kept the blue glow he had grown accustomed to seeing when it was ignited.
He put it back in his belt and patted his padawan gift from when he was 13 the rock had helped him when he was alone and scared. It had helped him through some of the hardest and most terrifying times he had known like when he was going to renewed and robbed of all his memories, his Jedi training, his life. He had been able to keep from losing himself by reaching the force and the rock helped him keep hold of the force. Also the time on Meldain/Dann when he was morning the loss of Cerasi it helped him keep from giving into the pain and the hate he felt. And even now it warmed his hand when he touched it. He had kept it with him always and he would treasure it always.
Just then Anakin walked in "Master? I'm hungry." Oh ok Anakin dinner begins in 9 minutes we can go now to the Dining hall. When we get there you can stay with me if you like or you can go eat with the other children. "I would like to stay with you Master" "Okay that's fine Anakin, but you should try to make some friends when I get sent away you'll have to stay in the young children's quarter's." " Why would you get sent away?" "I have to take care of the things the council assigns me to." "I can't go with you?" "No Ani I'm sorry, but you're too young and sometimes things can get dangerous." "So will I also have to go to class while you're away?" "Yes Anakin but when I'm here I will teach you so don't worry I'll get you caught up."
When they got to the Dining Hall. Anakin was pretty much Obi-Wan's shadow he followed close to him never being more than a foot or so behind him. Anakin sat opposite side the seat his Master was about to take when he looked up and saw Obi-Wan walking towards a pinkish skinned woman she embraced him tightly and he held her close. She held him for what seemed forever. "Bant" Obi-Wan said softly, squeezing his eyes shut. I've missed you Obi-Wan Kenobi are you okay?
Obi-Wan just nodded as he slowly pulled away from her.
How are you holding up Obi? She asked with her silver eyes filling up with tears. "I'm fine Bant really don't worry." She shifted to his other side and was about to protest, but he cut her off. "Bant I would like you to meet my unofficial padawan Anakin Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker this is a very good friend of mine Padawan Bant," Anakin rose to meet her she glared at Obi-Wan then turned her attention to the boy. "Hi their Anakin pleased to meet you." Anakin smiled and shook her hand. "Me too he softly replied . . . . . so. . Bant how long have you known Obi-Wan?" "We meet when we were smaller than you. Really!?" "That's cool would you like to have dinner with us?" "It would be a pleasure Anakin Skywalker."
The three of them sat there or at least two of them sat there Anakin was rolling on the floor half the time listening to Bant's embarrassing tales of the young Obi-Wan while the Jedi Knight Obi-Wan turned red. He smiled wildly at them with an obvious hint of mischief in his eyes and reversed the situation becoming the one to make Anakin shiver with laughter as Bant's pinkish shin darkened it's tone to become beat red.
...."So when it came time for Bant to move the stones continued Obi-Wan she had the stones in the air and I tickled her using the force, and when her concentration broke you'll never guess who was greeted with a bump on the head." Anakin looked up at him with wide eyes. "Master Yoda he was so surprised that he let his walking cane slip out from under him and it went flying in the air and hit Master Windu that was the first time I met Qui-Gon he laughed uncontrollably at Master Windu. I thought I was in for it that day, but Master Yoda refused to let teacher punish me. I had almost completely gotten away with it until Qui-Gon suggested that they should punish me with a taste of my own medicine." "What did they do?" Asked Anakin Obi-Wan smiled and a laugh escaped and was going to reply. "They lifted him up with the force and held him upside down while tickling him." Said Bant. "Yeah I thought they'd never let me go," "is that when you and Qui-Gon became friends?" Asked Anakin. "Well sorta but not really he had another apprentice back then named Xanatos." "Really what happened to him?"
Obi-Wan and Bant exchanged glances "I'll tell you that story some other time Anni okay?"
Anakin sigh alright, Well I think its time for us to get going. "Obi" Bant began but, was cut off by Obi-Wan "Goodnight Bant it was really great to see you again," "Obi I really want to talk with you." "Padawan" a voice called from behind. "Yes Master Cobain?" "We have to go now you can talk to your friends again tomorrow." "Yes Master." Master Cobain bowed to Obi-Wan who bowed back, "good to see you again Obi-Wan welcome back you made me as well as the whole Jedi Council proud and Qui-Gon is smiling down on you. You were his life when he talked about you he had a light in his eyes full of pride, full of joy and full of love. I had never seen him so full of sprit not even in his greatest moments with Xanatos."
Obi-Wan just stared at Master Cobain for a moment with wide eyes that were beginning to water sensing the tears growing heavier Obi-Wan decided it was time to go. "Goodnight then Master Cobain, Bant come Anakin," "Goodnight" said Anakin as he swiftly walked to catch his Master. "He shut me out" Bant said to her Master. "He needs time let him go for now you can't help him Padawan no one can do that, but him" they exchanged glances and watched Obi-Wan race out of the room with Anakin trailing behind.
Back at the room Anakin noticed that Obi-Wan was back to being very quite, "Master?" "Yes Anakin?" "What do we do now?" "I'll give you a choice we can start some lessons tonight or tomorrow, tomorrow please Master. Anakin was quite for awhile. "They won't send you away soon will they?" "I'm not sure Anni, but you needn't worry about that right now that's the future you should try to focus on the here and now like right now let's get to bed okay?" "Yes Master", they both went and changed into their sleeping robes then Obi-Wan went into Anakin's room goodnight Anni, goodnight Master.
He walked over to Anakin and tucked him in and much to his surprise he was embraced with small arms he hesitated for a while and then returned the hug,
"I had fun at dinner Master, Bant's really nice." "Yes Anakin she is very sweet, and "I'm glad you enjoyed your first night here now go to sleep we have much to do tomorrow", "Master Obi-Wan Anakin said shyly." "Yes Anakin?" " Nothing Master goodnight", "goodnight Ani". Obi-Wan went to his new room knowing sleep would not come anytime soon. His life had changed so rapidly one event setting off another like a chain reaction. He wasn't sure if he was ready to have a Padawan, he wasn't even totally sure that he was ready to be a Jedi Knight, and he was certain he hadn't been ready to lose Qui-Gon.
He paced around the room he became so restless he tripped over a box knocking it over. He picked it up and noticed a picture he had drawn years ago, the award he had been given for his piloting, medals, more pictures he had drawn, and at the bottom of the box was a book. He opened it to see three pictures of Xanatos one at the age of about 13, another at about 19, and one at about 24 or so. Then he turned the page to see himself as he turned the pages he got older there were several pictures of him as a toddler. There were several of him with Qui-Gon playing with him and showing him things. He went through the book remembering all the events recorded on photographs and at the very back was a piece of paper. It was folded twice Obi-Wan took it in his hands and unfolded it and began to read.
Dear Master Yoda,
I am writing this letter to you now to let you know that you were right about everything. Master Yoda when I lost Xanatos to the darkside I never thought I would be able to care for anyone that much again even after Obi-Wan had proven himself loyal and an exrodinary Jedi. I couldn't bring myself to open up to him. I know how cold I was, I know it was partly my fault he joined the young's rebellion, but at the time it was easy to blame him. I regret that sincerely he didn't deserve such a hard time. I should have been more compassionate with, him he needed me then Cerasi's death was devastating to him. I couldn't believe she had been killed she had a beautiful sprit, I let Obi-Wan down. I was never really mad at him, I was mad at myself. I was afraid, afraid to let my feelings open and care for Obi-Wan the way I cared for Xanatos.
I knew if I lost him too, I'd never forgive myself. When he joined the young's I was relived more than I was saddened relieved that it happened sooner instead of later. I guess what the whole point of this letter is that I am grateful for all the wise advice you gave me throughout my life. And as for Obi-Wan I have been sure for quite some time that he is special the force is very strong with him, and he has an exceptional control over it. I know that he has never use it to do any wrong. I trust him more then anyone in the entire galaxy and I love him, he is my son and when I see him become a Knight I will be very proud even though he makes me proud everyday. I felt I had to write this although I'm not sure of when I'll give it to you as you know I 'm stubborn, but I will not be so stubborn with my son any longer.
Qui-Gon
Obi-Wan put his head down and the tears slid down his face and he lay down on the sleep couch that had once been his Master's he lay there thinking of the past.
A few hours later as Obi-Wan lay there staring at the ceiling he heard small quite steps coming towards the door. The door slowly opened and Anakin poked his head through the doorway, and walked in. Obi-Wan looked at him watching him slowly coming closer to him. Anakin went right up to him face to face tears following down his cheeks. Obi-Wan realized that he and Anakin shared the same pain. Anakin had lost his mother and he had lost his father, but Anakin was just a boy he would need to be cared for. Obi-Wan reached out his arms to him and Anakin climbed onto the couch with him.
Obi-Wan held him close and rocked him back and forth allowing him to grieve, allowing him to let his pain out. Then that's when it really hit Obi-Wan that this boy was his responsibility he was going to have to not only train him, discipline and live with him, but he was also going to have to take care of him. He and Anakin were going to be together for a very long time and he was pretty much the only person in the galaxy that Anakin would have.
Anakin was shaken back to the present with a punch to the eye, but his mind drifted to the memory of that night. He had been so sad and lonely that night and he hadn't expected Obi-Wan to be so compassionate with him he really missed Obi-Wan.
The other children he stayed with hadn't made things easy on him they might have liked him at first, but they were jealous of him, being so young and already having a great Jedi Knight promising to take him as a Padawan learner. Anakin knew he should not fight back this had happened before, and up until now he had been able to keep his anger in control. But the combination of missing his mother and Obi-Wan, and the fact that this guy had been making him miserable ever sense he got here. Made the rage inside of him explode, and in one swift movement Anakin knocked Kido-Wes to the ground with a side punch and lunged at Teare. Kneeing him in the stomach, slamming him to the ground and punching him in the face.
Minutes later the teacher ran in and yanked Anakin off of Teare. Anakin who was still punching accidentally hit Master Sunni. "Anakin Skywalker you will control yourself immediately!" Anakin backed off and hung his head low. "Now what is the meaning of this?" "We're sorry Master Sunni replied Teare and Kido-Wes.""Boys I don't know what to do with you, you're always getting into trouble I will decide your punishment later. Now run along and join the class." "Yes Master Sunni" they said as they walked off. "Now" said Master Sunni turning to "Anakin, are you ok?" "Yes Master." She sigh "I'm sorry Anakin I'll have to take you to the Jedi Council."
Obi-Wan Kenobi was entering the landing area and was welcomed by the guards. He was tried they had sent him on another diplomatic mission to sit in on the negotiations on Alderan the meetings had always bored him they discussed the same issues over and over nobody wanted to give in. Not to mention his flight back had been extra long because some minoks had gotten in his engine and chewed the wires. So he had to go back to Alderan get that repaired and was again delayed because of a terrible win storm.
He felt bad that he had been gone so long he hoped Anakin was doing ok. No sooner had the thought crossed his mind when Master Cobain came up to him and said "come with me now its about the boy." "Oh sith" replied Obi-Wan in a low voice.
"Anakin you've only been here a short time and your teacher says you're already been getting into trouble" replied Kai Mundi "do you have anything to say?" "No sir just I'm sorry I didn't mean to cause trouble." Mace Windu was just about to reply when Obi-Wan walked in.
"From what I understand the boys that Anakin beat up were picking on him for quite some time before today."
"Obi-Wan glad you are back I am" said Yoda. "Your mission went well it did." "Yes Master I ran into a bit of trouble, but the force guided me." "We were discussing Anakin I believe" said Mace. "Yes we were replied" Adi Gallia "the reason Anakin is in trouble is because he attacked the boys with much anger in him." "I don't think that's the reason he's in such trouble other children have done the same to defend themselves before." "True it is that others have, but strong with the force he is fear we do that he may have called on the darkside." "Well Master he dose lack training that the other children have he has kept calm for sometime and I believe that if you give me time with him, that he will learn to do the right thing." "Believe you do that you can make him a Jedi?"
"Yes Master Yoda I believe he can be trained." "Then decide you will what is to be done about this go now and may the force be with you." Obi-Wan bowed to the Council as did Anakin then they turned and left. "We don't think that was wise Yoda we should have punished the boy ourselves."
Obi-Wan walked in silence with Anakin at his side looking up at him nervously his hood was up hiding his expression. "Anakin I'm disappointed with you." "I'm sorry Master." "I know Anakin, but if Qui-Gon were here he would be much displeased as well I'm going to punish you, but too severely because I sense you're not entirely to blame." "What are you going to do with me?" "You are going to go to the ship docks and clean our ship by yourself no droids, and I want it to be done very accurately" he said has he left Anakin with the huge ship. Anakin sigh and went to work.
Hours later Obi-Wan returned and Anakin had cleaned the whole thing. "Very good Anakin I'm pleased." Obi-Wan threw him a bag, "now hurry go get on board we're going to Naboo." Anakin eyes sparkled like stars at the mention of Naboo. "Really?" "Right now?" "Yes Ani the queen has personally invited us the for her birthday ceremony." "It's her birthday?" "Yes it is Anakin now hurry get on board do you want to be late?" With that Anakin ran on the ship.
When they reached Naboo. They were greeted by the Queen, her handmaidens, and Captain Panaka. The Queen went forward and gave Obi-Wan and Anakin a hug. Welcome back to Naboo "I've missed you both." "I've missed you too", Anakin said as he handed her some flowers, happy birthday. "Oh thank you so much Anakin" and Obi-Wan handed her a silver necklace with a green emerald in it "Happy Birthday your highness", "thank you very much Obi-Wan it's beautiful", "come on you guys lets go join the party" said Panaka. They had a huge feast Anakin had never eaten so much in his life except for when they left Naboo after the war. After the they had a great ball there was music and dancing Anakin hogged Amidala dancing almost every dance with her. 'Your highness won't you dance with me again?" "Well Anakin I'd love to, but I thought it would be nice if I could get your Master on the dance floor", "you know I haven't seen him Amidala". "Neither have I. I wonder where he is shall we go look him Anakin?" "Yes your highness", "oh and Anakin you can call me Amy." Anakin smiled brightly at her. "Ok Amy now lets go find Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan walked in silence away from the crowd he found himself walking without thinking through the energy fields.
Then he stopped at the spot where Qui-Gon had fallen and placed his hand gently on the ground. "I'm sorry Master forgive me." "There is nothing to forgive" a voice called from behind him. "Master?" "You did nothing wrong my son, but you must let go of your guilt, the guilt inside of you is what is making us unable to communicate. Remember how I told you we would always be connected through our bond even in death we can't be taken away from each other, but you have to fight the demons inside of you." "Yes Master."
Before Obi-Wan could even blink a red lightsaber came striking down at his face so fast that he almost brunt himself with his own lightsaber from blocking the attack. He was kicked in the chest sending him backwards he did a front flip over the Sith and landed behind him striking at his neck, but he duck and kicked Obi-Wan's legs almost knocking him to the ground. He was able to maintain his balance by grabbing a wall and then delivered a punch to the Sith's cheek then swung his saber around slicing into the Sith's left shoulder. He backed up and took a defense stance barely able to hold off Obi-Wan's attacks anymore. He was backed into a corner and tried to kick Obi-Wan away but Obi-Wan dodged to move and drove the saber into the Sith who fell to the ground.
Obi-Wan turned to walk away, but he was cut down he center of his back sending a wave of pain it didn't go very deep, but it had burned his flesh. He fell to the ground and his saber was knocked out of his reach. He turned and looked up at the Sith Lord and breathed in deep waiting for his life to be ended. And just has the Sith was about to take him down Qui-Gon kicked him right in the stomach driving him away from Obi-Wan and swinging furiously at him trying to deliver a killing blow.
The Sith disappeared and reappeared in back of Qui-Gon and was about to give him a fatal wound when he was knocked back by a wave of the force and Obi-Wan jumped at him sending his saber into the Sith's heart.
Qui-Gon walked over to him and embraced him "Good work Padawan good work Anakin is fortunate to have you", "You are truly the great Jedi I have always known you would be" he looked at him and smiled brightly and embraced him once again. "Goodbye my son." "Goodbye father."
Obi-Wan there you are said Amidala we've been looking for you everywhere.
Are you ok Master? Obi-Wan looked from the spot where Qui-Gon was and then to Anakin and Amidala. "Yes Ani I'm fine." As Obi-Wan walked away with them he heard Qui-Gon say in his mind.
"The force will be with you Obi-Wan always."
