Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden. Nor any of it's of it's characters. Those belong to their respective owners.

Warning: Rated M for sexual implications, don't read if you are easily offended.

One thing that Naruto had learned over the years, is that Sasuke was a smart ass
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It had all started one night, Team Seven was at a bar celebrating a recently completed A-rank. Not that there was any doubt, the lot of them being S-ranked, but they took any chance to go out and celebrate. Like any other night, Naruto observed, the women were all but physically throwing themselves at Sasuke. He rolled his eyes. Sasuke had returned not long after Pein's invasion, having killed his brother and 'Madara'. The masked man had told Sasuke the whole story and Sasuke killed him. When he showed back up, Tsunade spun his story as a hero. Naruto didn't particularly care, but the expression that Sasuke just got on his face promised a good show. Downing the rest of drink, he sat back to enjoy the show.

Sasuke loved and hated going to this bar. It had some alcohol that you couldn't get anywhere else, that he was absolutely in love with. However, it was a very well known fact that he came here, and all of his 'admirers' hung around trying to get into his pants. It annoyed him to no end, as he wasn't particularly interested in a relationship. He had his friends, and that was enough for him. On top of that, their pick up lines were very un-original. Though what the most recent flirter had just said interested him. Tall, brunette and fair skinned, she was undoubtedly attractive. The skimpy piece of cloth she called an outfit decently reinforced that. She was in her mid-twenties at most, not much older than Sasuke's age. She had slinked up to the table, swinging her hips suggestively and licking her lips.

"Hey big boy, is that a snake in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" She smirked and leaned across the table towards him. One thing Sasuke had learned as Orochimaru's apprentice was that being a smart ass was fun. And so was scaring the shit out of people. With the sexiest smirk he could muster, he replied.

"Let's find out."
He stood up and reached for his fly. The woman smiled like the cat that caught the canary, having finally caught the village's prime bachelor. All of the women in the room were watching as the zipper went down... And a long red and black snake shot out and wrapped itself around the woman's head. She screamed and scrambled to pull it off. Sasuke smiled.

"Well, I guess it was a snake after all." Sitting back down, he took a long drink and almost laughed when the snake slithered down the woman's shirt. He could see his teammates across the room, Naruto shaking with laughter and Sakura stuck somewhere between amusement and anger. He signaled the bartender for another drink. He would have to be drunk before he faced Tsunade. He did laugh when the snake bit through the tie holding on the woman's skimpy top. Yep, he would definitely have to be drunk, cause Tsunade would kill him

If Naruto knew anything about his best friend, it was that he was one hell of smart ass.