I don't own anything, Sam, Dean and angel-boy belong to Erik Kripke and the CW.
This is a short drabble-tag for "The song remains the same" and the companion-piece to Ghost4's awesome "The Law of Thermodynamics". You should probably read hers before this one! :)
Thanks so much for the chatting and the talking and the prodding, hun! Wouldn't have done this without you.
Thank you
by Mikiya
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I can't stop it.
It's like my entire world has been reduced to this weird feeling of relief, of purpose, of Thank God it didn't happen.
Castiel told me.
The big question of my life, the whygot answered. I always wondered why? Why it had to be me, why everybody I loved died and left me, why I've been kept alive to serve as a vessel to a rogue angel. I know now, it's in my—our blood, has been in our family for ages, maybe forever.
It wasn't my fault. Never has been. There was nothing evil about me even before I was born. I wasn't chosen to be Lucifer's vessel because I'm wrong or different or more likely to go darkside than other people. It was simply a case of wrong time, wrongest place ever. Once again it's the blood, though this time it's not just me - it's my family, it's all the people who have come before me. They've given this curse to the next generation and the next and the next…
It's from my Dad's half of the family. Who would have thought that, huh? My father who had been so blissfully unaware of the supernatural until he met Mom.
A hunter.
I swear somewhere out there has to be someone laughing his ass off about all the irony in this fucked-up story.
I don't think it's funny.
It doesn't undo anything that has happened in my life, in our lives. We are still screwed, we are still one step away from becoming vessels to the bitchiest brothers I have ever heard of and who knows what's going to happen then. If they find a way to make us say "yes". Both of them are so sure that we're going to cave in, that we can't not give in to them and that scares me.
I have been weak before.
I don't know what the freaking devil might have up his sleeves, what he can do to make me believe him.
And as I've heard from Dean, Michael is just as much a dick as almost every other angel we've met so far. Figures.
I guess I should be mad. Furious. Angry at the angels, the demons, the universe for screwing with my life like that. Killing people I love, forcing my father to raise us like that, taking away each and every choice I might have had to change a thing. Yeah, I should be cursing the heavens (and hells) right now, maybe even rage at the injustice of it all.
And I am, I am mad, I am furious at them, everybody responsible for this.
And still…
Now that I know… I wouldn't have it any other way.
Because, if by some funny twist of fate I would have been the older brother it would be him in my place right now, it would be Dean with the demon blood, the freak, the monster.
And I happily go on living this life if it means he doesn't have to go through this.
So, yeah, who ever might or might not be listening out there—
Thank you.
