Guy Hugs
Story Title: Guy Hugs
Story Summary: "Are there really such things as 'guy hugs'?" Fluffy BB Dialogue Oneshot.
Genre: Humor/Friendship
Chapter Focus: #366 of 1000 Theme Challenge, "Hugs"
Chapter Rating: K+
Word Count: 645+
POV/Person: Third.
Spoilers: None.
Author's Starting Notes: I saw the theme "Hugs" and couldn't resist making it B/B. Please review.
And, check out my other themed work.
Time Stamp: Posted March 11th, 2009
(#366)
"Are there really such things as 'guy hugs', Booth?"
"Of course, Bones."
"Really? Because I've never actually seen you hug another guy. Not once. Not Sweets--"
"He's a psychologist. I'm not a big fan of them."
"Or Hodgins--"
"He's surrounded by bugs and dirt all the time. It's just not my thing."
"Not even your army buddies got hugs, Booth."
"Now, that's a lie."
"No, it's not. You didn't hug them."
"What are you getting at here, Bones?"
"I think that 'guy hugs' don't exist, that you're merely using them as an excuse to hug me when you get the urge to."
"I don't get urges to hug you."
"It's perfectly normal for you to have urges, Booth. As you've said, I'm not unattractive--"
"You're taking that out of context."
"There wasn't much context when you said it. I stepped out wearing a dress, and you complimented me."
"It's a guy thing. A girl walks out, and we have to say something nice."
"You just referred to me as a girl."
"Yeah, and?"
"Girls don't get 'guy hugs'."
"Okay, why are you doing air quotes?"
"Because, they don't exist."
"Yes, they do."
"Prove it to me, then. Name three guys you've hugged."
"Parker."
"He's your son. You have to hug him. It doesn't count."
"Zach."
"You hugged him when he was injured, and other than that, you shied away from all physical contact with him."
"Uh… Jared--"
"When was the last time you hugged him?"
"The other day."
"…"
"Okay, plus about twenty years."
"See, I've proven my point."
"How?"
"You don't hug guys."
"I'm not a big fan of the touchy-feely stuff, okay?"
"Yet, you give me hugs all the time."
"You're a girl. Girls like hugs."
"And so do horny adolescent males, but you don't hug them."
"Look, can we stop this conversation?"
"Not until you admit that guy hugs aren't real."
"I'm not going to admit it."
"Why not?"
"Because this entire conversation is just another one of your squint mind games. Sweets probably put you up to it, and I refuse to participate."
"But, you already are. You've been talking to me for the last few minutes."
"Well, not any more."
"Don't be so childish, Booth."
"…."
"Are you really going to give me the silent treatment?"
"…."
"Fine. I can be quiet too."
"…."
"…."
"…."
"It was Angela."
"…."
"Not Sweets. She said something that made me think about our relationship. And, that made me realize that I might just feel something for you that is more than strictly a partner-like feeling. So, I came up with this conversation to try and see if you reciprocated those feelings, which you obviously don't. So--"
"Wait, Bones, are you serious?"
"…."
"I. Well. Um. Uh. Bones, I--"
"Hahahaha."
"…."
"Hahahahaha."
"That's not funny."
"Ha. I'm sorry. But, you got all flustered."
"You confessed to having feelings for me. I was… shocked."
"It was just one of my 'squint mind games'."
"You think you're funny, don't you, Bones?"
"Yes, I do."
"Let's see how funny you are when I tell Angela about this."
"W-what?"
"She should be around here somewhere."
"Booth!"
"I should probably page her. That'd be faster than finding her."
"You can't honestly tell Angela."
"Why not?"
"Because she's Angela. She thrives on bad gossip built on jokes and lies. And, if you tell her, I'll never hear the end of it."
"I think that's fair for the emotional pain that you laughing at me has caused."
"How is that fair?"
"Well, it's fair in my book."
"Your book is obviously unbalanced, and biased, and idiotic."
"It's not idiotic just because you don't agree with it, Bones."
"Yes, it is. I agree with science and facts, and--"
"Angela! Hey, there you are!"
"Booth, stop!"
"You won't believe what Bones just said to me."
"Uhhh."
"Aww, somebody looks like they need a hug."
© Everything written above belongs to me (FF user, Paint Me a Symphony). If somebody is out there pushing this as their own, they are lying. I may not own BONES, or its characters, but I do own this.
~ Review for me; I'm Irish.
