Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen! I couldn't help but make a fanfiction of Kaien for his birthday! Oh, this is one sexy fic! I don't care that I have loads of things to do! I just HAD to make this! I LOVE Kaien! So enjoy!

Summary: It's Kaien's birthday, and he knows that Miyako got him some sort of gift, but when Miyako gives Kaien clues on what his present is, will he figure it out? Or will his wife have to just tell him and spoil the fun because of her slow husband? Find out by reading!

Warning: sexual content and mentioning of sexual activity and cursing. The usual :P


Happy Birthday, Kaien!

It was a seemingly ordinary day. Bright sky, birds chirping, grass growing, warm weather. People were walking about, shopping, chatting, having picnics and whatnot. Just the "normal" everyday things people in Karakura do.

Well, not all people.

For Kaien, it wasn't just an ordinary day. Today was his birthday. And though he wasn't particularly excited for it, he was looking forward to what the day had to offer him event-wise. By event-wise, he was referring to a certain family member of his. No, not his lovely, charming brother and sister, and not even his prude little orange-haired cousin. But his beautiful, graceful wife.

Kaien's wife, Miyako Shiba, whom he was married to for four years now always surprised him on his birthday. Ever since they got married, Miyako always had cute ways of making his birthday worth wild. Whether it was an article of food, or a few years ago how she, along with Rukia, put on a little dance for him. Anything made him smile.

Kaien was now walking home from work. He was tired, yes, but his excitement to see his wife was all he needed to stay wide awake. Kaien can't remember loving somebody as much as he did his wife. He adored her with every fibre in his being. He couldn't choose another woman over her. And he hoped to pass on his love for Kaien to Ichigo, to teach that asexual bastard to open his eyes and finally kiss the damn woman that is Rukia Kuchiki! It was clear to EVERYONE that Ichigo can't live without that midget and they just had to get together.

Kaien was knocked from his thoughts as he finally reached his home. The light to the kitchen was on, but dim. Same as the bedroom he happily shared with Miyako.

'I wonder what she did for me tonight.' Kaien wondered as he fumbled with the keys in the door's lock. He wasn't expecting anything big, no, but he was curious. Hell, he didn't even care if Miyako got him nothing. So long as she was there at their home, he was happy.

As Kaien entered the door he called,

"Hi honey! I'm home!" and slammed the door behind him to make his entrance, like he did obnoxiously like every night he returned home. But this time, there was no sweet response. But instead of being worried, Kaien smirked. "Playing hard-to-get are we?" he snickered.

Kaien made his way into the kitchen, expecting some sweet thing Miyako made for his birthday, and he did in fact find a sweet. A very small cake. But the sweet he was looking for was no where in sight. His lovely Miyako.

"Hmm…" Kaien pondered as he walked up to the counter and peered down at the cake. It has white frosting and pretty powdery-blue borders of frilly icing. And what stood out to him was what the cake had on it. In light pink and light blue letters spelled,

Happy Birthday BABY

What was stranger was a small bowl of baby carrots next to it. Kaien's eyebrow arched. Why would Miyako serve carrots and cake for dinner? More importantly, where IS Miyako!

Tilting his head up, Kaien cried,

"Miyako, where are you?! I am awfully lonely!"

"I'm upstairs, Kaien!" Miyako's reply came, and soon another smirk crossed Kaien's face.

Without another moment's hesitation, Kaien bolted for the stairs, raced up the staircase, and came to a stop to he and Miyako's door. It was closed, and Kaien knew damn well to never, ever, EVER barge into a room when a lady is present in said room. Kaien learned that the hard way. That bump on the back of his noggin was still there.

So, as the gentleman he is, Kaien knocked.

"Who is it?" Miyako asked sarcastically. Kaien rolled his eyes with a chuckle.

"Your Knight in shining Armour." Kaien replied.

"I don't remembered ordering that!" Miyako yelled. Kaien laughed.

"Permission to enter, madam?"

"Permission granted."

Kaien entered his room and found his beautiful wife lying on her side on the bed facing him. She was clad in a short, snow-white lacy nightgown that covered her upper thigh. She looked unbelievably beautiful with her hair down and strewn neatly around her shoulders. Since Miyako rarely wore her down, it was always a stunning sight to see. It just seemed to shimmer naturally when it wasn't in a bun. And her body. Kaien always questioned on whether it was normal to love a woman's body as much as he did. But then again, his uncle always obsessed over his wife's beauty, and still does even though she's gone. Much to Ichigo and his sisters' displeasure. But with Miyako... it's like he couldn't stop staring!

"Kaien... you do realize it's rude to stare at others... and drool while you're doing it." Miyako blushed as she looked away from her gaping husband. Kaien shook his head and wiped the drool from his chin.

"Sorry it's just that... I usually don't see you dressed this sexy and lying leisurely around the house like this. I like it." he smiled. "You should do it more often."

"Well, it is your birthday, and I thought my birthday boy deserved something special." Miyako rolled on her back and beckoned Kaien with her finger.

Kaien slammed the door and locked it in record time before throwing off his bags and crawling on top of his wife. He wasted no time taking her lips into his and making the scene more intimate. He never expected a birthday like this in his entire life, and he knew damn well he was going to enjoy it!

"Kaien..." Miyako managed to breathe out in between Kaien's messy kiss.

"Hmm?" Kaien barley replied before moving to Miyako's neck.

As Miyako's hands wrapped around Kaien's neck, she managed to whisper in his ear, "I still need to give you your present." and Kaien stopped.

'This isn't my present?'

Kaien leaned up and blinked at his wife with the most confused, yet cutest, look on his face. "What do you mean? I don't... I thought this was my present." Kaien asked. Miyako shook her head with a smile, and a bright blush on her cheeks.

"I'm guessing you didn't catch on." she said. Now Kaien was really confused.

"Catch on to what? I thought you just wanted to have sex." Kaien said so bluntly. Miyako shook her head with a laugh.

"No, silly." she giggled. Kaien frowned. "Well, I mean not exactly. Did you look on the counter?" she asked. What did the counter have anything to do with his present?! Unless...

"You wanna do it on the counter?" he said with a hint of excitment in his face. Miyako rolled her eyes. Her husband wasn't the brightest. He's lucky he has his cute looks to make up for those missing brain cells. Must be all the sex.

"No. I mean, did you see what was on the counter?" she asked. Kaien nodded, still not seeing where this was all leading to.

"Yes... there was a cake, and carrots... in a small dish that I didn't even know we had." Kaien said, suspicious of everything going on. Was she hiding something from him?

"And what did all those items have in common?" she asked. Kaien scowled. "Don't do that. you look like Ichigo."

"I'm getting a little frustrated... mainly sexually." Kaien groaned. Miyako sighed and cupped his face, making Kaien make a duck-face.

"Kaien, your cake said, 'Happy Birthday Baby', I had baby carrots in a baby bowl. What do they all have in common, sweetie?" she asked him. Kaien only blinked. Miyako sighed again. "Kaien, please show me a sign you still have a brain in there." she prayed. Kaien looked away, thinking about it really, really hard.

'They all have the word 'baby' in it... and babies have to do with what exactly...?'

Then it finally hit him.

Kaien bolted upwards, his eyes wide. "NO WAY!" he shouted. Miyako laughed.

"Yes way." she retorted with a smile. Kaien shook his head. He wasn't angry, no, but happy. More than happy, ecstatic! He was going to be a father!

"You're pregnant!" Kaien shouted.

"Obviously." Miyako rolled her eyes again. Kaien leaned forward and kissed Miyako again, then looked into her eyes with the widest grin he didn't even know he could muster.

"How long have you known?" he asked.

"I found out last week when I went to go visit Unohana. I figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to surprise you and tell you as your birthday present. I hope you're not mad." Miyako kissed his cheek.

"Of course not! How could I be mad when you're going to be a mother and me a father?! We're going to have a baby!" he exclaimed. Miyako's blush got deeper. "So, how far along are you?" he asked.

"Three months." Miyako answered. Kaien started to shiver with anticipation. He couldn't believe he was going to be a father.

"How did this happen?" he asked. Miyako gave him a confused look. "As in, when?" and Miyako smiled.

"Remember what you did for my birthday a few months ago?" she said, letting her hands roam up and down Kaien's still covered chest. Kaien smirked.

"How can't I? You screamed so loud the cops showed up the next morning." and that comment got him a smack across the head. "Sorry..."

"Yes, so... that's how it happened. We should be expecting a little boy by July of next year."

"A BOY?!" Kaien shouted. He had bolted upright yet again, his arms shooting into the air. "AM I A MAN OR WHAT?!" Kaien yelled at the top of his lungs. "Oh, this is the best day of my fucking life!" he yelled.

"The best day of your entire life?" Miyako growled below him. Kaien gave an uneasy smile.

"Besides the day I got married to you of course." he corrected, earning him a smile from his newly pregnant wife. He leaned down again and locked his lips with Miyako once more.

"Did you like your present?" Miyako asked, breaking the kiss and looking passionately into Kaien's aqua eyes.

"It's the best present I've ever received." he whispered huskily. "I know I'm still going to love it for years to come."

"Are you going to love me for years to come?" Miyako asked, getting closer to his face. Soon they both had sexy smiles on their faces.

"Oh, but how can't I?" Kaien whispered, putting all his weight on Miyako.

"Then prove it." Miyako whispered, and for that night, none of the neighbors were able to sleep.


So Kaien and Miyako are having a baby! How sweet! Kaien would make a really good father in my eyes as Miyako would be a caring, loving mother. It really is a shame Kubo killed them off so early in the series. They deserved to live. I mean, how awesome would it be if Ichigo MET his cousin and found out EVERYTHING? That would've been a hear-warming moment/episode(s). Well, Happy Birthday Kaien!