SESSION ZERO – Character Building
Author's Note: Jack Radke, Sarah Nordenstern, Liam Whitt, Dora Nguyen, Eli Gradney and Brian Stupka are my original creations. They do not belong to any show, series or fandom and are inspired by dear friends in the tabletop gaming community.
James Nicholas Radke – or Jack, as he preferred – checked the clock on his cellphone for the third time since 12PM. He and his girlfriend, Sarah Nordenstern, had arrived twenty minutes ago with all the reference books, character charts and spare dice they could possibly need and had finished putting everything in order for the first session* of the new campaign* only five minutes after their arrival. The room they had reserved at the campus library was theirs until 3PM, but, knowing the other players, it would take at least an hour and a half to get everybody quiet for a single minute so he could explain what he had in mind for the new campaign.
He was, admittedly, a bit nervous about this one. He wasn't usually lacking in confidence when it came to introducing a new campaign, having had loads of practice designing them since he was a kid, playing the good old Third Edition with his grandpa back in the day. However, this campaign was a little… different, to say the least, and he'd kept most of its unique qualities to himself as a surprise for the other players, Sarah being the only one who knew more than the barest hint of what was in store for them. All Jack had been gracious enough to share with the other players was that it was an off-brand mod inspired in part by the largely successful Tephra*; anybody who knew anything about the tabletop gaming world – or Google – could guess what that implied.
"Where the fuck are they?" he muttered, tapping one of the character tokens against the table in irritation. He was beginning to worry that they would bail, which would really suck considering all the effort he'd put in already. The mere thought made him want to call up his fellow nerds and give them a scalding piece of his ginger-colored mind; so many NPCs*, customized enemies, mission-specific loot and random encounters, all gone to waste because they couldn't be bothered to show up at 12:30 like they were supposed to -
"I see Liam."
Sarah's voice led Jack to look away from the opposite wall at which he'd been seething and take a glance through the transparent, window-like walls of the free study room. Sure enough, there was Liam Whitt, striding forth with purpose from the top of the library stairs across the floor. Behind him emerged Eli Gradney, followed almost immediately by the copper-skinned, smiling form of the matchstick girl herself, Dora Nguyen. As usual, Eli had his backpack slung over his shoulder, something Jack couldn't really visualize the guy without. It was, to be honest, an inseparable part of who he was, whether it was due to the nerd's deep-seeded fear of being without his laptop for more than eight hours or an innocent habit he'd picked up from his three years as a full-time college student.
Shortly behind them, Brian Stupka's tawny, bristling head of hair emerged last, two large pizza boxes cradled in his arms and a two-liter bottle of Pepsi pinned between them and his chin. Food wasn't technically allowed in the library, but the team had yet to be kicked out of a study room for bringing lunch with them.
Sarah opened the door and waved to them as they approached, and Jack took the spare moment to see that all of his documents were in order and that all the campaign secrets were safely hidden inside Sarah's Ao No Exorcist totebag.
"Hey, man," Liam said cheerfully as he entered, leaving Sarah to guide the rest of the flock inside the study room. "Sorry we're late."
"It's fine," Jack replied, still a bit peeved but happy nonetheless that the crew had shown up at all, "What kind of pizza did you get?"
"One meat-lover's and one plain cheese," Brian announced, setting the boxes down on a nearby coffee counter, "Dora's a vegetarian."
All things being equal in the presence of pizza, the nerd herd flocked to the counter to savor the heartwarming and salty fragrance of hot, fresh pizza before diffusing throughout the rest of the room. Before anyone could pose the important questions, Eli reached into his inseparable backpack and withdrew a set of paper plates and napkins, much like Mary Poppins pulling a lamp from her bottomless carpetbag. Jack had only known Eli for about a year, but even that was long enough to know that you just didn't question how the former homeschool student managed jam so many random things into a relatively ordinary object. No sooner had the plates and napkins left Eli's hands than did the geeks rise again, swarming the coffee counter and making off with one or two slices each before scattering leisurely toward the table in anticipation of the new campaign.
"So when do we start?" asked Dora, already having taken a seat beside Liam, who had placed himself confidently to the left of Jack's DM stockpile. Jack made a mental note to keep an eye on Liam; he'd known the guy since sophomore year in high school, and if there was anything sure about him, it was that he wasn't the type to ask before going through campaign-sensitive maps and charts, memorizing all the routes and DM-friendly annotations while Jack wasn't looking.
"Well," Jack replied, moving quickly to the head of the table before Liam could play with the character tokens, "That depends. I was thinking we could spend most of today working on your characters for the campaign – That way, when we get together next week, we can get started on the first mission and work our way from there."
"Can I use my character from the last campaign?" asked Liam.
The closest thing Jack had left to a soul cringed at the fleeting thought of how much work it would take to revamp Liam's old character to fit the campaign. Shia LeBuff, the neutral-evil Lizardman who couldn't go a single campaign without nibbling at the entrails of the fallen or, as Liam had put it, being the D&D equivalent of "environmentally conscious", would have no place in the dieselpunk wonderland that Jack had spent most of the spring semester and the entirety of summer preparing. "No," he replied firmly, "You're going to have to make a new character."
"Can I be a gnome?" Eli inquired, "I want to be a super-intimidating rogue gnome again. That was so much fun."
"I'd rather you not," Jack hinted. Eli was a bit more compliant to the DM's wishes than Liam, on average, but he was certainly just as chaotic-neutral, if not a tiny bit more.
"Can I be a fae?" Dora suggested meekly; this would be her first real campaign, and while Jack would have preferred she try something a little more traditional first, Eli had begged Jack to let her join in, and Brian had backed him up more than 100%.
"Actually," Brian explained, adding his deep, radio-toned voice to the conversation, "There's a lot of fae races to choose from in D&D. There's, like, um…"
"Gnomes," Eli mentioned, falling back on his favorite race automatically.
"Yeah, that," Brian agreed with him, "And then there's pixies and classic fairies and stuff, and then there's brownies –"
"Actually, guys," Sarah interrupted them, exchanging an understanding and supportive look with Jack, "I think this campaign's going to be a lot different from the normal D&D style. You should probably check with Jack first."
"Oh yeah?" Liam interjected.
"Yeah," Jack confirmed. He took a quick glance at Sarah to thank her for sticking up for him as he continued. "I actually came up with a really cool idea that I'm pretty sure you guys are gonna love. Liam, remember what I told you about on Skype a couple weeks ago, about that city I was designing that was basically a prison colony ala Botany Bay and stuff?"
"Oh, yeah," Liam remembered, "Dude, that would make a fucking cool campaign. Is that what we're playing?"
"Yeah, kind of," Jack admitted, "I actually had a brainspark last semester and came up with a way to make it even cooler. I, uh, reworked it in a customized dieselpunk mod, kind of like what those guys did with Tephra a couple years ago, and I figured I'd turn it into a labor camp set in an alternate-universe Nazi Germany."
"Bitchin'," Liam responded, very enthusiastic about what he was hearing. "So what are we playing?"
"I've based the gameplay on the Fifth Edition*, for the most part," Jack explained, "But I'm taking out most of the non-Human characters. I want you guys to start out as POWs from the Allied side and eventually work your way up through a series of Sky-Captain, James-Bond type missions that are all interconnected to one big giant boss battle – and good luck defeating him. You're gonna need it." The inner demon of Jack's playing style bubbled to the surface, registering on the other players' radars as a forebodingly evil chuckle.
"So do our characters have to be Human?" Eli asked, both visibly and audibly disappointed that he couldn't be a gnome.
"You can be a very tall midget," Jack promised him dryly. A glint sparkled in Eli's brown eyes that the DM wasn't entirely sure he comfortable with, but it was gone before he could mention it. Instead, he decided to begin passing out the blank character sheets he'd printed out the night before. "These are the new character sheets you'll need to fill out. Dora, are you gonna need any help with this?"
"I… I don't know," Dora admitted with an awkward laugh, "I guess… Probably, yeah."
"Okay," Jack told her, "Well, just let me know and I'll be happy to help you. Sarah's pretty good at designing characters, too."
"I'll help you," the motherly figure volunteered, smiling encouragingly as she took a seat beside the newbie.
"Oh, one question – the last one, I swear," Dora spoke up, "Um, can I be a female?"
"Probably not," Jack answered carefully. Normally, he'd be the blunt, straight-forward asshole that he always was, but Dora seemed so very mouse-like that he didn't have the heart to be that mean to her, especially considering that this was her first game. "It really wouldn't make a lot of sense for a girl to be in a Nazi POW camp."
"Oh, okay, sorry," Dora replied with a smile before turning to Sarah for help with the rest of her character.
"Are we starting out at Level One?" Brian asked.
"I'll let you guys start out at Level Two, actually," Jack informed him, "I kind of want to skip the leveling bullshit and get straight to the missions; besides, most of the random encounters are Level Three and above anyway."
"What? Why?" Eli demanded.
Jack shrugged. "It just happened that way."
-break-
An hour and a half later, most of the character sheets were covered in pencil markings, scrawled notes and mathematical scribbles, a pleasantly assuring disarray that was home and country to any experienced D&D player. Jack looked over Sarah's shoulder to check on how Dora was coming along with her character before asking everyone else to take a moment and share with him what sort of abominations they had come up with. Phone apps were set to the side, calculators cleared, and Eli's ever-present laptop was closed as each new character was presented, fresh from the oven of their makers' minds.
"Can I go first?" asked Liam.
"Yeah, sure."
The transgender nerd-for-life opened his mouth, started to read and then stopped, stealing a pencil from Brian's supply to fix a miscalculation in his character's bastardized skill set before resuming.
"So I decided to go for a Chaotic-Good alignment this time," Liam assured, "He's going to be a colonel in the U.S. Air Corps –"
"A colonel?" Jack questioned, alarm bells immediately warning him of possible future shenanigans.
"I promise he's not O.P.," Liam said, carefully and clearly giving his word.
"Okay," the DM sighed, throwing his hands in the air as a sign of truce, an act of misplaced trust that he was sure regret later and usually did in these types of affairs. "Carry on…"
-break-
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.
Name your favorite episode of Hogan's Heroes in the reviews. I will choose one from the bunch and transform it into a nerdy and amusing behind-the-scenes look at what our players must have been thinking, discussing, and probably arguing about while they played out that episode! Each installment (I'll keep writing them as long as you keep suggesting them) will probably take two to three sessions to complete, although realistically it would probably take far more sessions, if my personal D&D experience is anything to judge by.
I hope you like my interactive idea! Please add any further suggestions and criticism in the review with the title of your favorite episode!
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CAMPAIGN: D&D gameplay, being a story-driven, open-world RPG, is centered around the campaign, which is a long story designed by one or more DMs. Within a campaign, there are many missions and quests, random encounters with enemies, traps, and struggles that will help the players gain experience (XP), gold (GP) and loot, which will help their characters to level up and grow.
DM: Dungeon Master. The DM, also sometimes referred to as the GM (Game Master) is the god of the game, the one who holds the fate of the players' lives in his treacherous, almighty hands. He also controls most NPCs, monsters and other random encounters throughout the game with dice. A DM/GM's main goal is to see that the campaign is followed through without too much unexpected incident, although a wise DM/GM is prepared for anything.
FIFTH EDITION: D&D has been updated many times since it first became available. The most recent edition to date is the fifth, although many players prefer to use older versions depending on past experience, personal preference, or the complexity and needs of a given campaign.
NPCs: Non-Player Characters (actual acronym may vary). These characters are the catalysts and plot devices that guide, torment and challenge the players in-game, being the mere puppets and tools the DM uses to keep the story - and the players - on the right path.
O.P.: Over-Powered. This is what happens when the DM lowers the bar on character development - the players will hop right over it and use their ridiculous stats and unrealistic advantages to gain control over the story. Very few people like playing with these types of characters, as they often end up ruining the experience for everybody else.
SESSION: D&D is played whenever the DM is able to get the group together. These meetings are called sessions, and they can vary wildly in terms of how long they last, how much gets done and how many snacks and alcoholic beverages are devoured in the meantime.
TEPHRA: A steampunk reimagining of D&D.
If I failed to explain everything mentioned in this chapter, please let me know in your review!
