FEARLESS.
He watched her intently. Her every move was as delicate and fragile as her body. He longed to be able to touch her freely and not be afraid, he longed to be able to make love to her without dreading what she would say the next day. But that's all it was, a feeling of longing for him.
Meredith moved around, sighing as she noticed the plastic surgeon watching her. She wiped her brow and hoped he would look away, it wasn't like she wasn't interested, it was just that she felt uncomfortable receiving lustful looks from her ex's best friend.
"Beautiful." He said under his breath. A smile played on her lips; she was near enough to hear his comment. She walked towards him swaying her hips lightly and laughing.
"Blunt much?" She smirked. "I could've heard that from a mile away, Dr. Sloan."
"Sorry, Dr. Grey. That information was too difficult to keep to myself." He smirked pulling out the chair next to him, inviting her to sit down. His eyes travelled up and down her body causing her to blush. "Can I talk to you for a second?" He whispered.
"Mark…" She said, knowing what their conversation would be about. She had been seeing him constantly for the past week; they're relationship centered on sex and sex alone.
"C'mon Mer, I just want to talk. Nothing more, nothing less."
"Fine. I'll meet you in the on-call room in five minutes." She said, sighing. He grinned his McSteamy grin. The one that would make her heart melt and want to jump him. "Don't follow me Dr. Sloan." She warned.
"Stairs?" He asked, searching her face for any kind of disappointment.
"Yup. You take the stairs." She grinned, subtly avoiding the heat of his stare.
She pressed the up button and waited patiently. Once the elevator doors came open she quickly entered along with a lot of other people. She noticed a familiar sent linger around the elevator doors, and soon the scent came closer until it was right beside her. She looked up at him with nervous eyes that expected him to explain what he was doing here.
"What happened to going up separately?" She whispered, not looking him straight in the eye.
He lowered his head to her ear and grinned. "This is much more fun." He said huskily.
Meredith cringed, nurses eyed her. No one knew about their relationship except themselves. When the elevator came to a stop she rushed out, clearly irritated. He chased her down the corridor, wondering what he did wrong.
"What was that in there?" She demanded crossing her arms over her chest and started pulling the elastic band on her wrist furiously.
He held her arm so that she would stop pulling. There was a visible mark on her wrist where the elastic band used to be. "I'm sorry, Mer. I wasn't thinking." He lied.
"You knew exactly what you were doing, Mark! I don't want to be known as the intern who slept with her attending and got heartbroken, twice!" She exclaimed.
"That's just it Meredith" He snapped. "When will you ever remember that I'm not Derek?! I'm sick and tired being compared to him one way or another."
She immediately quieted down and looked at him. His piercing blue eyes look at hers and her heart breaks further.
"I know you don't want me like that, but won't you just hear me out please?"
She nodded slowly. Thinking of what to say, she opened her mouth but he put his finger to her lips.
"You don't have to say anything. I'm not asking you for that, I just want you to listen to me for once." He said bitterly. "I'm not Derek. I will never be Derek, so if you're looking for Derek in this relationship that will never happen so quit now." He paused. "I'm Mark Sloan, a surgical attending at Seattle Grace hospital. I used to be a manwhore, but I haven't slept with another woman besides you in two weeks, and I think that's actually an improvement for me. I'm originally from the big apple, but I moved for a reason that you already know."
"You're right." She said softly, clutching his hand and leaning on his side.
"About what?" He asked curiously, rubbing circles in to her small and delicate hand.
"I do know why you came, for Addison but I don't know why you stayed." She said sighing.
"I stayed for my fellow dirty mistress. I stayed because I saw something in you that I was so attracted to. I stayed because I have never felt something like this in my entire life, I thought it was just lust but it isn't Meredith." He smiled.
"Why didn't you tell me before, Mark?" She said softly.
"You never asked, that's why." He shrugged. "You just expect me to be like Derek, to always say what I think about stuff. I'm not, I'm not as expressive as he is. It doesn't come naturally when I talk about important things."
"I know, we're similar like that." She smiled, trying to soften his mood.
"We're similar in a lot of ways, Mer." He said quietly. "We've both had shit parents, we're both driven and confident, we're both completely talented, and we're both stupid enough to fall in love with someone that belongs to someone else."
"Derek and Addison?"
"Not Addison. You Meredith." He sighed. "You're heart will always belong to him. I'm not Addison's guy anymore Grey. She made it clear when she ran after Derek."
"I'm not… I was… but I'm not anymore. I don't… I can't… He has a wife!" She rambled. Then she remembered something "You're in love with me?"
"It's really stupid that I always fall for Derek's girls." He shrugged. "I'm an idiot like that."
"What is this—what are we getting ourselves into?" she said, staring down at her feet.
"We're too adults that have bonded over a heartbreak." He said simply.
"I know that Mark, what are we going to do about this—us?"
"I don't know. I just know I do want to be with you Meredith. I want to continue being with you, this is more than just a stupid little fling to me, Mer. This is something real. That's what I want our relationship to be, Mer, I want it to be something real and something worth fighting for."
"It is real." She said looking up at his sad eyes.
"No it's not, it's all about sex. For the first time in my life, I don't want sex. I don't want our relationship to be all about our physical relationship, Mer." He sighed. "When I'm with you, I feel like I can do anything."
"It's the same way for me too, Mark." She smiled. "I feel like I don't have to be afraid anymore. I don't have to care what others think of me."
"What's there to judge though, Mer? You're perfect to me." He smiled. Meredith turned into a deep shade of crimson.
"I only care about your opinions" She said rolling her eyes and giving him a half hug.
"Then why can't we tell them about us?" He asked curiously.
She didn't say anything at first, knowing he had a large point. "I guess, because I'm scared."
"Of what?" He asked. "Of what they'll think?"
"You were right, our relationship is based on sex. So that isn't a real thing but once we tell them, it's going to be real. If it's real then, it will hurt so much more when we break it off." She sighed. "That's what I'm scared of. Getting hurt."
"You think I'll hurt you?" He said, disbelief laced in his voice.
"Yeah, you aren't exactly the stick to one girl type of guy." She said. "No offense."
"None taken." He said sarcastically. "To tell you the truth, that's what I do when I'm scared. I run away but not now. You make me feel so scared but so in control. You get me?" She nodded slowly. "You could hurt me without trying Mer. You already are."
"I'm sorry then." She frowned grabbing her hand away.
"You don't even know what you did." He rolled his eyes. "You don't even want to make it real. You don't have faith that I won't hurt you. I don't care if I lose everything, just as long as I have you." He said lacing his fingers into hers.
"I just…." She stammered.
"You don't want to get hurt. No one does Mer but it happens anyway, maybe sometimes the pain is worth the risk." He shrugged. "I know you're worth the risk."
"So you want to start seeing me, exclusively?" She asked, looking down at her feet.
"I haven't ever wanted anything more, Mer." He brought up her chin and planted a small kiss on her lips. He lingered in front of her face for a few more moments before he pulled away.
"Then let's try." She smiled; Mark's lips erupted into a perfect smile.
"No more lies?" He said.
"No more lies."
"No more running away?"
"No more running away." She smiled. "I'll always be here."
"No more Derek?" He asked, dreading her answer. He gripped her hand tightly and searched her intense eyes for any sign of hesitation.
"No more Derek." She said softly, meeting his gaze. "No more Addison?" She asked skeptically. He chuckled to himself, wondering how he actually got the girl this time.
"No more Addison. I swear Meredith." He said noticing a spark in her eyes.
"No more fear?" He asked, pulling her up from the bench they were sitting at. His lips were dangerously close to hers, his hands were on her tiny waist and her arms were around his neck.
"No more fear." She whispered, tip-toeing. She could feel her breath hitch; she looked up into his deep brown eyes.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, taking in the musky scent of him. The smell was addicting, one thing she never wanted to be taken away from her. He closed his eyes, bringing his lips to meet hers.
Electric waves went from her lips down to her toes and up again. That's how he made her feel. Mark could feel the sparks being released from their passionate kiss.
He was doing the thing he feared the most, he was playing with fire. She was a dangerous flame that could burn him at any moment.
But he didn't care. He loved her and that was enough for him to stay sane. He cared about her and that was enough for him to risk everything.
She was with him, and that was all it took to make him fearless.
A/N Just a short one-shot, sorry if you didn't like it. Please review!
