A/N: If you don't know who BIGBANG is, I wouldn't suggest reading this because it would confuse you-immensely. It's not worth reading if you don't know, honestly. xD Anyway, I felt kind of weird writing this because it's one thing to write about fictional characters... You know they're not real. But it feels kind of creepy to write about real people, if that makes sense. ._. Nevertheless, I enjoyed writing this & I hope you like reading it!

P.S. You can find me on a site called asianfanfics with the same username, Catgirlie. This story is posted there, too. =)


A quiet café

Somewhere in Seoul, South Korea

January 14, 2012

12:34 p.m.

"There's someone else, Seunghyun."

It wasn't that Seunghyun didn't know it was coming. Oh, he did. It was obvious: the growing distance between them, the constant bickering, his girlfriend's random disappearances. Yet the finality of it all, the confirmation of his fears was what hit him the hardest. He sat and listened to her excuses, her reasons for leaving him. He knew it all; he'd been there, he'd seen it, he'd heard it. And, he realized, he had only been waiting for it to end all this time.

But he couldn't help but feel crushed, empty, lost. He knew he looked devastated by the pity in her eyes, her attempts at comforting him. But it was a lost cause, and all Seunghyun could do was shake his head and mumble something about having to go.

It was that night that, despite himself, Seunghyun finally cracked.

Seunghyun's room

January 15, 2012

2:15 a.m.

"Hyung, I know something's up. Let me in," Jiyong persisted, pounding on Seunghyun's bedroom door.

"Yeah," Seungri pleaded, "we just want to help. Please let us in, hyung…"

Youngbae's soothing voice said, "We came here because we were worried, Seunghyun. You know we care about you. Talk to us, please."

"You barely ate anything at dinner tonight," Daesung added. "Usually you eat like a starving animal. And you never cry. Of course it's cause for concern…"

The four who might as well have been his brothers continued knocking and calling into the late hours of the night, but it wasn't long before they fell asleep in the hall outside of his door. Seunghyun stayed awake through it all, thinking and thinking about what he had done wrong, what had driven her away from him. He cried for the first time since he had been a child, clenched his fists so hard that his nails dug into his palms and made him bleed. Any pain is better than this, he thought, but the indents left in his palms weren't enough to detract from what he felt deep inside.

Seunghyun knew that his brothers had all driven to his parents' house to help him, and it made him happier to see how much they cared for him, but it didn't heal the wound left in this heart; he decided that nothing would.

He took the blanket from his bed and opened the door to find the four draped over each other clumsily on the floor outside, looking peaceful but exhausted; he carefully put the blanket over their sleeping forms and took extra pillows for them from his closet, propping them under each of their heads.

Heading into his bathroom, Seunghyun looked at his reflection. His eyes were swollen and red, as was his nose, his blue hair was disheveled and messy, and he could see the cold sores just beginning to show on his lip. Quite frankly, he was a fucking mess.

He took a can of soda from the mini-fridge in his room, downing it all at once, even though he wasn't supposed to drink these things while on his diet. Seunghyun sat and stared at the wall, crushing the can in his fist unconsciously as his mind wandered again to her.

He had given her everything. He'd spent every minute of his free time with her, even ditching practice to comfort her when her brother had been injured and in the hospital. Jiyong had given him quite the verbal beating for that, but at the time he had decided that it was worth it. He'd given her his virginity, but it hadn't been the first time for her. He'd loved her with all of his heart, although everyone else thought it was corny, and her breaking up with him made him feel like his heart had been ripped out from his chest.

Seunghyun had always said that she was the best thing that happened to him, but really, he realized, she was the worst.

YG Entertainment

Practice room

January 21, 2012

8:26 p.m.

Seunghyun was sitting across from Jiyong in the middle of the practice room, the others having left not long ago.

"You know we're worried about you, hyung," Jiyong began. "And we all understand that the breakup was really hard on you. It takes a while to move on, I know. The sadness eats away at you, from the inside out until you're nothing but an empty shell, hyung… We care too much about you to let that happen."

He could almost predict what was coming next.

"So," continued Jiyong, starting to look very cheerful, "I'm here to help you get over her!"

"Really, Jiyong, I'm fine. I don't need to get over her. She's gone now, and that's what matters," Seunghyun said darkly.

Jiyong shook his head, "See? This is what I'm talking about. You're still in love with her, even though she doesn't love you, and we need to put an end to that. It'll only hurt you in the end, hyung."

"But I know what you're going to try to do," Seunghyun said. "You're going to try to set me up on blind dates with girls who will want nothing more than a one-night stand, or give me a makeover, or give me so much alcohol that I can't be in control of my actions anymore and do something I'll regret. I can't accept your help, Jiyong. I just can't."

"Please, Seunghyun. Just give me a chance. I promise it won't be anything like that."

"You swear?"

"I swear."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Okay."

BIGBANG's dorms

January 22, 2012

4:00 p.m.

"Good," said Jiyong, "you showed up on time. I was afraid you'd try and wallow in self-pity in your room intead."

Seunghyun rolled his eyes. "You know I'm not that bad, Jiyong."

"A man with a broken heart is never quite himself, hyung."

"If you say so."

Seunghyun had to admit that he agreed, though. And he could tell that Jiyong knew it, too.

"So… I figured it would be nice if we just hung out like we used to. Just me and you, you and me."

"Sounds fun," Seunghyun said.

Jiyong grinned. "Oh, it will be."

The two started out by watching some sappy, romantic drama that they both laughed at, making fun of the poor acting and corny scenes, but enjoying every minute of it.

"I remember when we did this all the time," Jiyong said wistfully, watching the end credits of the final episode with a small smile on his face. "I've missed it. With all of the promotions and scandals and tours, we haven't had any time to do this kind of stuff in a really long time."

Seunghyun nodded. "I guess we'll just have to make up for lost time."

"And on that note, it's time for dinner! I know just the place."

"Where?"

"You know where," Jiyong responded, nearly halfway out the door.

Laughing, Seunghyun called, "Wait, wait, wait! I'm not ready yet!"

"I have a reservation in ten minutes, so you'd better be in five… four… three..."

"Okay, okay! You're so impatient, Ji."

"Oh, come on. We're going to be late!"

A quiet restaurant

Somewhere in Seoul, South Korea

January 22, 2012

8:15 p.m.

"This used to be our favorite restaurant when we were trainees," Jiyong said as they entered. The restaurant itself was hard to identify, as it looked like a small apartment from the outside, but was really just a discreet dining area on the inside, making it a perfect place for people like Seunghyun and Jiyong to eat together without having to face swarms of fans.

Seunghyun nodded, "I remember it. I'm glad it's still open after all this time…"

"Yeah, I was surprised at how little business they get, but that's why it's such a good place to have privacy," Jiyong nodded. "And it was really nice that they gave us discounts because of our food budgets back then."

They chatted easily, ordering and receiving food which they gladly ate, still talking with each other about various topics.

"You know, Seunghyun," Jiyong told him, "that's the most you've eaten in a week."

At this, Seunghyun looked slightly surprised and glanced at his completely empty bowl of rice, as well as the nearly-bare plates of food set out in front of them. "I guess it is," he replied slowly. "But I think the only reason for that was that you were here with me."

Jiyong smiled, his cheeks flushing just the tiniest bit, but Seunghyun didn't notice. "That's what friends are for, hyung."

Seunghyun's room

February 5, 2012

11:32 p.m.

Seunghyun was scared.

Not two months ago, he'd been in love with a girl, but now? Now, Seunghyun thought that he might just be falling for Jiyong.

But it wasn't right. It couldn't be right.

All his life, he'd been raised to believe that boys and girls were meant to be, but no one had ever said anything about men with men and women with women. He supposed it was an unspoken rule in South Korea that it just wasn't okay.

His mind told him that it was irrational, illogical; a silly infatuation caused by all of the attention Jiyong had been giving him lately. He'd been trying to mend his broken heart, so clearly the first thing it wanted to do was find someone else to love like that. And he'd never been attracted to a man before, so where was this even coming from?

But his heart said that none of it mattered, that Jiyong was more important than anything else, that he was the one that Seunghyun was meant to love.

Now, Seunghyun decided, was the time to talk to someone who could help.

Youngbae's room

BIGBANG 's dorms

February 6, 2012

12:13 a.m.

A bleary-eyed Youngbae opened his door, smiling despite his obvious sleepiness. "Annyeong, Seunghyun. What do you need?"

"Advice," Seunghyun sighed, walking in and sitting down on the bed.

"Girl problems?"

"Pretty much."

"Talk to me."

"I think I'm in love."

"Good. That means you're over your ex, which means that all of Jiyong's efforts have not gone to waste…."

Oh, if only you knew, Youngbae.

"The thing is… being in love with this person could ruin my career. And I don't know if I really love hi—her," Seunghyun stumbled, almost giving it all away. He didn't know how Youngbae would react to knowing that the so-called "girl" was really Jiyong, and he didn't want to.

Youngbae looked thoughtful. "What does your heart say?"

"My heart's telling me to go for it."

"Then follow it, hyung, no matter what the consequences are."

YG Entertainment

Practice room

February 10, 2012

1:35 p.m.

"Yah, Seunghyun!" Jiyong grinned. "Found a girlfriend yet?"

Seunghyun shook his head somewhat bashfully, eyes glued to the floor; it was because of this that he didn't notice the way Jiyong's face lit up just a little more at the action.

"TOP hyung doesn't need to have a girlfriend to be happy," Seungri said happily. "I can see that he's happy just being here."

Seungri's comment surprised Seunghyun a little bit, and he froze, but no one seemed to take anything from it; Jiyong laughed and patted Seungri's shoulder. "Ah, maknae, you're so cute."

Jiyong's comment made Seungri scowl, but it quickly dissolved into a smile as the two began to playfully wrestle on the floor as everyone else watched with amusement on their faces.

After everyone had calmed down some, Daesung asked, "Does anyone want to go get something to eat? I'll cook if you want!"

It was a well-known fact that Daesung loved to cook, especially for others, and he was incredibly good at it, too; because of this, the other four happily agreed to eat together back in the dorms.

During the walk there, Seunghyun decided to take a chance and talk to Jiyong. Starting a conversation, he slowed them down until they had both fallen behind the rest of the group, out of their earshot.

"Jiyong, I… I have something to tell you."

"Yeah?"

"I, well… um… I—" Seunghyun began, but was suddenly cut off by a high-pitched squeal from somewhere to his left.

"Oh my god, is that G-Dragon? And TOP?"

Jiyong's eyes widened, as did Seunghyun's. Without a word, they both took off in the direction of the others, who had also begun to run.

Seunghyun glanced back at the two girls who had seen them, and they looked to be frantically texting their friends from the middle of the street.

Finally, they reached the dorms (without a flock of fans chasing them) and headed to the kitchen, still panting.

"As much as I love our fans," said Jiyong, "they can be really crazy sometimes."

Seunghyun sighed. There went that moment.

BIGBANG's dorms

February 13, 2012

6:37 p.m.

For the last five days, Seunghyun had been trying to get Jiyong alone, to tell him how he felt—not that he was sure that he would have the courage—but they were always with someone else, never able to have time to themselves.

Tonight they were watching yet another sappy drama, this time joined by Seungri and Daesung. Youngbae was having dinner with his parents.

"Awww, I've always wanted to fall in love with someone like that," Seungri gushed.

Jiyong ruffled his hair playfully. "Oh, maknae, you're so cute."

"But I thought you wanted to be a playboy," Daesung frowned.

"Oh," Seungri said, "yeah."

"It's okay, maknae. You'll settle down eventually," said Seunghyun.

"When are you going to settle down, Jiyong?" asked Daesung. "You haven't dated anyone in a really long time."

"Well, I do like someone…"

Seunghyun felt his heart drop. He tried not to look at Jiyong too much.

"Who is it, hyung? Who? I really want to know!" Seungri was practically bouncing in place.

Jiyong shook his head and laughed, "I'm not telling."

"C'mon, hyung. You can tell us! Why not?" Seungri pouted, poking Jiyong's arm repeatedly.

"Because you have the biggest mouth in the world, maknae."

"I do not!" protested Seungri. "I mean, I never told anyone about how I once walked in on Daesung—never mind. I guess I do."

Seunghyun, Jiyong, and Daesung all laughed, while Seungri looked somewhat deflated.

"Aww, maknae. It's okay, everyone has flaws," Daesung said comfortingly.

"I guess," Seungri said glumly. Suddenly, his face lit up again as he asked, "So what are all of you doing for Valentine's tomorrow?"

Seunghyun shrugged. "I don't have a girlfriend anymore, so I'll probably just be working all day. Youngbae should be there, too, so if none of you are coming, I still won't be alone."

"I'm going to surprise someone special tomorrow," Jiyong grinned. "At least, I hope it comes as a surprise."

"Ooooooh," cooed Seungri, starting to poke him again. "That's so sweet! I'm going on a date with a trainee I met this morning…"

"Ah, you really are a playboy," laughed Daesung. "I'll be at practice too, Seunghyun. There's no one to do anything romantic for in my life…"

"We can be alone together," Seunghyun chuckled, but on the inside he knew that it wouldn't be the same without her by his side.

YG Entertainment

An alley near the practice room

February 14, 2012

11:49 a.m.

Seunghyun was taking a break. Not many people had showed up today, which he was sure some may not have been too happy about, so no one seemed to really care about whether or not he even did anything. He sighed and took a drag on his cigarette, vaguely studying his shoes.

"That's bad for you, you know."

Seunghyun looked up to see Jiyong, dressed in an expensive suit and holding a dozen roses in one hand.

"You smoke, too," he rolled his eyes, but dropping the cigarette to the ground anyways. "On your way to meet your special someone?"

"As a matter of fact, I've already arrived," Jiyong replied.

Furrowing his brow, Seunghyun asked, "What do you mean? There's no one out here but me."

"That's because my special someone is you," he responded easily.

Seunghyun's jaw went slack for a moment before he remembered to close it. He couldn't possibly mean…?

"Come on," Jiyong was saying, holding his hand out, "what are you waiting for? We have a reservation in five minutes, and we can't be late."

"You know, sometimes I think you're more confident than Seungri," Seunghyun muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Don't be silly," Jiyong scoffed. "That's impossible."

The quiet restaurant

Somewhere in Seoul, South Korea

February 14, 2012

11:55 a.m.

The entire restaurant was bedecked in garish Valentine's Day decorations, and there was a rose in a vase on every table, although Seunghyun and Jiyong were once again the only patrons. They sat, not bothering to order as the Valentine's menu was preset for all couples, and talked like they always did.

Seunghyun still wasn't sure about whether or not this was a real date. Nothing seemed much different apart from the fact that Jiyong was dressed up and had brought him flowers, which he thought was a sweet gesture, even if it wasn't meant in the way he wanted it to be.

After they had finished eating, Jiyong took him on a long drive—an hour long, at least. Seunghyun chatted amicably with him throughout, and they finally arrived somewhere that looked like the countryside, but somehow he could tell that it wasn't. Around him was a huge field only divided by a narrow path that Jiyong's car was barely able to drive on; they walked to a large rock nearby and sat together on it. From there, they could see all of Seoul, it seemed, even from a distance.

They only took a few moments to enjoy the view before Jiyong jumped up and exclaimed, "Let's go hiking!"

"Aren't you going to change?" Seunghyun asked, looking at Jiyong's suit.

"Nope," he responded with a shrug. "It doesn't matter if I rip this one. I'm supposed to be getting some new ones next week, apparently."

"Oh," Seunghyung said. "Okay."

And off they went.

Porch

Seunghyun's house

February 14, 2012

9:18 p.m.

To say the least, hiking had been an… adventure. Jiyong's suit was now ripped in several places, although he didn't seem to mind, and both men had been scratched a lot on their arms. Nevertheless, they'd enjoyed it, and had gone back to Seoul and eaten dinner at another discreet little restaurant after Jiyong changed. They were now standing in front of Seunghyun's house, still chatting about the day's events.

"Thank you for today," Seunghyun said. "I thought that my first Valentine's Day without her wouldn't be the same, and it wasn't. It was better… So thanks for everything you did for me today. You really didn't have to."

"It's no problem, hyung. Just know that I'll always be there when you need me," Jiyong said. "I'll see you at practice tomorrow, right?"

Seunghyun nodded and waved as Jiyong drove away. He walked into his house and sighed. It had been the perfect opportunity to tell him about how he felt, but he'd never felt that it was the right moment to do so. But there was still a chance, wasn't there?

Digging his phone out of his pocket, he began to type.

Jiyong, I have something to tell you.

He received a reply within moments.

Yes?

Seunghyun took a breath before pressing "send."

I'm in love with you.

He didn't get a reply.

What have I done? he thought, collapsing onto his couch and staring up at the ceiling. What if this ruins our friendship?

It was agony, waiting and thinking; there was too much to be afraid of, too much to lose because of what he'd done.

A few minutes later, he heard a knock on his door.

It was Jiyong.

He was panting, and behind him, his car was still running, the door still open. Before Seunghyun could even open his mouth, Jiyong spoke.

"I'm in love with you, too," Jiyong said, and pulled Seunghyun to him and kissed him.

Their kiss was a desperate one; one that both could tell was bound to happen. When their lips met, they felt something strange deep inside them—something that they knew was special. Seunghyun smiled against Jiyong's lips, and in that moment, he knew that he was really, truly happy.

It was that night that Seunghyun finally realized that having his heart broken was the best thing that had happened to him.