Aaand i'm back! school was getting on my nerves lately, and now that it is finally spring break (with us) i have more time to write!
I have to warn you that this story will be sad, there will be a lot of angst!. I really want to try and write a sad story to see how i will do! i'm probably not good at these types of stories. But I really hope you will enjoy! ;)
He couldn't do it. He just couldn't. but he had to, he was just a burden. A burden to his family. to his brothers.
A burden to oyaji.
He walked down the dark hallway, to his room. No matter how many times the crew convinced him he was part of them, that he was part of this family, he didn't believe them. Because he knew, oh he knew that the second the crew knew about his lineage, he would get thrown to the ocean. Oyaji not giving him a second thought, as he watches him drown. Hell, the whole crew wont. So he acted energetic and happy, and he loved acting that way, but he couldn't lie to his family for long.
Was it too much to ask to just have a normal life? a life without burdens? a life where you don't have to worry about your family hating you? a life where the air doesn't seems to suffocate you? Apparently it was too much. So he decided to release himself. In his own twisted way.
He reached his room and opened the door. On his bed was a black box. He had considered doing this for a long time. But now that the time has come, he regretted even thinking about this solution. But it was too late, he already made up his mind. And no one could stop him now.
Opening the box, he saw it. The tip shining like it had just been sharpened, which was a good thing, and means it will do its job quickly and swiftly. But also mercilessly.
Ace picked up the knife and examined it. He was tired of acting, tired of acting happy when he really wasn't. He had tried to tell pops about it. But just the thought of pops and his brothers hating him makes him want to die. Which is exactly what he was doing. His lineage wasn't the only reason he wanted to do this. It was also because he was scared, so scared. Scared that he might fail his family and pops.
He took a deep breath and lifted the knife to his wrist, slashing as hard as he could. Blood trickled all over his hand, he held back a wince. He was panting hard. Sweat forming on his forehead, sliding down his face. A pool of red substance was forming around him and he found it hard to breathe. He brought up his knife again and cut through his skin next to the other cut he just made.
He repeated this process over, till black dots started hinting his vision, pulling endlessly at his consciousness, and he slumped down on the wooden floor. The floorboards offering scratches all over his body.
He didn't deserve them, he didn't deserve their love, he didnt deserve their care. he didn't deserve anything. He didn't he didn't he didn't. No scum like him deserves these things. He only deserves to die.
Soon, all around him was blood. So much blood. Yet he only smiled, closed his eyes as tears raced across his face. Dripping from his chin to mix with the red substance that oozed from his wrist. Thankfully no one had heard his fall and his heavy panting, or they will be in for a not so pretty sight.
A bitter laugh escaped his mouth. Why did he laugh? was it because he was bleeding to death that he had finally lost his mind? or was it from happiness that he will finally leave this world that he has come to hate? He remembered a memory with his gramps once when he was seven, remembered his words echoing through his head...
"Hey old man," said the raven haired boy, sitting crossed legged on a cliff, the wind blowing his hair over his young features.
"huh?" garp gruffly replied.
"was it... good that I was born?"
Garp looked towards the sea,"that's something... you'll find out as you live."
No, he thought, it wasn't good that I was born. And now that he has lived and figured it out, he had to leave this world.
He could feel his heartbeat, so strong he thought it might jump out of his ribcage. But no, it can't be strong. He wanted it to slow down and just stop. He was tired of all this. He just wanted it to end. He rolled over, so know he was on his back. The black dots seem to grow more, and he suddenly started coughing, until he felt warm liquid travel down his mouth. Blood. He hoped no one heard him. But even if they did, it will still be too late to save him. Atleast, thats what Ace though.
He remembered luffy. How will his younger brother react? will he ever know? he hoped luffy never knows, but he knew that he will, eventually, when he sets sail. Which is still two years away.
What about his other brothers on this ship? will they even shed a tear? Ace didn't think so. Why would they? he was just a burden after all. He's probably doing them a favor.
He smiled tiredly, he will be gone soon. Away from all this. He didn't want to, but at the same time he did. He wants to die, because he's a burden. But he wants to live, for his brother luffy. And for whoever cares about him on this ship.
He thought he heard faint calls and heavy footsteps, but he was too far gone. The black dots in his vision combining together and forming a black wall. He could only hear faint voices, but couldn't feel anything. No pain, no blood, no knife. He couldn't feel anything.
"I-I-m s-sorry.." left his lips tiredly. He didn't know why he said that, he just felt he had to say it. Soon he couldn't hear anything too, like he was floating in black space.
And then nothingness.
Soo... how was it? i feel like this needs a second chapter. dont you think so? please tell me!
This is my first time writing this type of story, but i gotta say, i'm pretty impressed with myself.
please review and tell me how i did and what i can improve at, and i'll see ya later, alligators~
;)
