It was a pretty miserable Wednesday afternoon in the town of Royal Woods, it was raining and everyone was just doing their own thing because no one could give enough of a fuck.
"I'm bored of being human." shouted Lincoln upon waking up from his nap time on the couch.
"Huh?" spat Lana, sitting on the otherside.
"None of your business twerp, I had a dream and I'm horny about it." This was true, as his 2 inch erection was definitely showing. In true defiance towards his younger sibling, he grabbed a couch throw pillow and swung as hard as he could towards Lana's face. Sadly for Lana, this throw pillow was made of of titanium so her head got flattened like a pancake.
Lincoln was not fazed by the explosion of brain matter and shattered teeth; once he has an idea he sets off to do it, he is the man with the plan after all. He hopped off the couch and ran up the stairs like a little girl, he pumped his arms while giggling like a fuckin goober about his fantasies. Upon reaching the top of the stairs he swung right and knocked ever so politely on Lisa and Lily's door.
She didn't answer, and the door was locked.
"What could that slut be doing with a baby!?" pondered Lincoln
Lincoln was angry, he marched over to Luna and Luan's room and opened the door.
"These bitches don't lock their door so what the fuck?"
Lincoln's mental thoughts were pushing him on the edge, he quickly grabbed Luan by the leg as she was doing some stupid shit that wasn't important.
"What the fuck Lincoln!" yelled Luan
"Enough, your fulfilling your one purpose with those giant ass buckteeth of yours."
Lincoln made it back to Lisa and Lily's door and swung as hard as he could, bending the door inwards. He swung again, and a third time. The door flew off its hinged and totally crushed Lily's cage. Luan was amazingly scratch free, except her dignity.
"Thanks Luan! You're the best!" exclaimed Lincoln as he tossed Luan to the side like a wet tissue.
Lincolns peepee was beginning to inflate again as he was getting closer to his goal. He strided in the room and saw Lisa sitting in her chair with ear muffs. Lincoln thought about drop kicking her for a second for making him waste his time, but she would be a key component into fulfilling his dream.
Lincoln did a gay jog towards her chair and tapped her on the shoulder. Lisa turned around and her jaw dropped.
"Lincoln! What in god's name did you do to the door!?"
Lincoln payed no attention, he reached for Lisa's shoulders and stared her down with eyes full of lust and torment.
"Lisa." Was the only word Lincoln whispered.
Lisa went wide eyed as she stared into her brothers eyes.
The room almost get completely silent, save for the rain tapping against the window ever so lightly and thunder being heard from the distance.
"y- Yes? Male sibling?" Whispered Lisa back.
Lincoln inched closer
"Make me a robot, ecks dee." Replied a gitty Lincoln
Lisa was rightfully confused and pissed.
"You fucking ripped my door down just to a-"
Lincoln pressed his index finger to her lips.
"shhhh" replied the boy
"Do this for me… please Lisa." He whispered.
Lisa was beginning to feel really confused, and almost a bit nervous. Was it fear she was feeling? What would her dear brother use a Luan battering ram for? He only ever uses this for dire emergencies.
Lisa was all ears, Lincoln took in a deep breath, and began.
"I wanna be a 6 foot robot, specifically with a long metallic mecha horse schlong that only cums on command. I also need you to implement me with triple D silicon boobs and soft holes so that the other boys can fill me up while im fucking who ever I please, and give me multiple dicks too! I want transformable dicks for arms and I need to also have my orifices be replaceable so that everyone who ever fucks me can claim my virginity. I also want slut holes on areas one wouldn't even think of, perhaps on my knee cap and under my left armpit" Spoke Lincoln as he choke back tears of excitement
Lisa could not believe the autistic bullshit she was hearing. She tried to speak, but Lincoln pulled her closer and spoke more
"In fact, give me multiple arms and hands all with interchangeable dicks and hands. I wants to be the center of attention during all of the orgies. Ronnie Anne never invites me to them because she says I'm "too gay" and that I'd totally goober it up after a few seconds! In fact, make it so that I never cum, I want to get blue nutted so fucking hard that when I do eventually cum it's all released from one hole in firefighter fashion. I want to shower the victor with my mechanical semen. I want to shower the world in my Mecha-Lincoln-Semen." Lincoln stated in a dream like fashion with his lip bitten and his eyed rolled into the back of his head.
But upon looking back to Lisa, she was dead. She hung herself after hearing the absolute most cancerous thing she ever heard in her 4 years of living.
"Aw darn it, I didn't even tell her about my dream finger penises!" Lincoln pouted, but then he gasped in shock. With Lisa dead, how will Lincoln achieve his dream!? His boner began to deflate and he began to cry like a little bitch ass nigga, but all of the sudden, he had an amazing plan.
Lincoln decided he'd do the brain transplant himself! If you want something done right, you need to do it yourself!
Lincoln knew this would be a difficult procedure, so he would need assistance. He lifted up the door and found a pancake Lily. He grabbed the limp shattered spaghetti body to himself like an apron, legs around the waist and arms around the neck. With his new lab assistant, he began work on the robot.
"How hard could it be? I've seen the famous smash hit anime Eve-an-jell-eye-on and I basically get how the robots work there, so all I gotta do is that but with dicks." Pondered Lincoln to himself.
He began to work, the rain got worse and the clouds thickened. After a few minutes his disasterpeice was complete. A robot with transformable dicks, fake flesh replacable holes, and a sperm tank with enough semen for all of Africa.
"Perfect!" He proclaimed with a big smile.
"But how am I gonna put my brain in there?" he thought.
He tapped his foot and shoved his hand up to his chin. He did that stupid thinking pose for a good few seconds before coming up with a smashing solution.
"I got it!" Lincoln yelled.
He laid his head on the table and began to tear away at his own cranium with a can opener he dug out of his ass (he has a lot of secret and sacred treasures up his butt,) he opened up his own head like how one would open up canned food with a can opener. He ripped apart at the flesh and cranium and exposed his brain, he yanked it and tossed it in the robots open cranium in good 2 pointer fashion (I guess all of those sports sessions before the sex-capades with Lynn really paid off!)
Lincoln went limp as his body had no brain, now he truly was retarded. Lincoln's brain did not need that inferior body anymore, as now he was piloting his new creation; or as Lincoln likes to call it "The Orgy Experience." Lincoln analyzed the room and saw his first victim, himself. What he did next was completely insane.
Yes, he quite literally just fucked himself. He fucked his own corpse right up the ass. He completely destroyed the body and came so hard that Lucy died too.
The Orgy Experience walked down the stairs, destroying everything in its path. Lincoln's sisters fainted and came on the sight of this behemoth of a horse cock machine. Lincoln's dad turned gay and tried to fuck his mechanized horse cock, but he scoffed as he brushed him away. The force was powerful though, so Lynn Sr. flailed and rag dolled against the wall and died.
The Orgy Experience laughed as approached the door, it door opened about 5 feet before he got to it due to his automated boner pushing against the door and tearing it from its hinges.
So technically, Lincoln fucked his own house's virginity away.
The Orgy Experience cackled a maniacal laugh as he began strutting outside, thunder was crashing as the rain was pouring down harder than before. He was going to go to town to fuck every godforsaken virgin he saw with his automated virgin rays. He would spare no one, his mechanized monster cock was going to lay waste to Royal Woods.
As he began strutting… He began to stiffed.
Wait.
That's right.
It's fucking raining, iron rusts in rain.
Lincoln the Orgy Experience began to rust and stiffen as rain poured on him like a mother fucker.
"NO GOD DAMMIT SON OF A BITCH" Roared Lincoln in his head
He tipped over and crashed.
Then lightning striked him.
He exploded in a million pieces and died.
They couldn't salvage him either because his body was unrecognizable after The Orgy Experience.
The Loud House family was so distraught they couldn't fuck the monster schlong that they all killed themselves.
The moral of this story is, always take an umbrella when it's raining, otherwise you will get wet.
The End.
