Fairies and unicorns. Nail polish. That time of the month. Clothes and shoes. Boys.
I have never been very good at what is known as "girl talk." When Carly comes crying to me with yet another relationship woe, I usually just offer her the use of my butter sock and then tell her that ham will fix all her problems. No, seriously. The stuff can work miracles.
But when she came to me asking for advice about The Nub, also known, but not very often, as Freddie, I wasn't sure that even ham would fix what was going on in my head. Or was that... My stomach? My chest? Some odd place in my body that I didn't usually feel anything but hunger with.
"Oh, you kissed him, huh?" I managed to stammer. Then I regained composure, slapped Carly on the back, and said, "You did the world a favor. Somebody had to do it." I chose to ignore the uncomfortable fact that it was in fact me who had done the world that favor.
"Sam!" Carly said. "Cut it out. I mean, I know this is Freddie we're talking about, and he's really nerdy and all he does is talk about Pear devices and his model train club, but I think that maybe there's more to him than that. You know, underneath the goofy, polo-wearing exterior, he might be kinda..."
"Kissable?" I interjected, searching in the fridge for something, anything!
Carly blushed in response. I knew what she was thinking. The guy had some decent looking, uh, facial features. Lips in particular.
Sam, what are you thinking?! the reasonable part of my brain asked me.
Nothing! I argued. I was just saying that I do know what she's thinking! Her thinking it doesn't mean that I was thinking it!
Right.
I ignored my sensible side once more, and said, "Carls, geeze. If you like the guy, just like the guy. Get married and have little techie-geek babies who walk around with pears tattooed on their faces."
"Freddie does not have a tattoo of a pear!"
"Bet he would if his mom would let him."
"So you think... I should tell him how I feel?"
I just stared at her. "Considering that you kissed him, I think he knows."
There was a knock at the door. Carly's hands flew to her face. "Oh God! I forgot we had rehearsal tonight. How do I look?"
"Like a goldfish who just got bought by Spencer?"
"No, Sam!"
I looked at her. She looked, well, beautiful. Just like she always did. Now wonder Freddie had been chasing her for years.
He'd never chase me like that. Not that I wanted him to, of course. Ew.
