Naruto's Third Epic Return

By: DMEX

Disclaimers apply

-Parking Lot-

(Horses farting, The Bella Twins come in about this time)

Nikki: What is that awful smell?

Konohamaru (slips on a gas mask): The smell of discovery.

Brie (sarcastic): Real cute…

Nikki: What are you feeding those horses?

Christian (slips on a gas mask): Baked beans drenched in J.R.'s BBQ Sauce.

(Horses start farting and pooing)

Bellas (grossed out): THAT"S DISGUSTING!

Konohamaru: There's nothing disgusting about it.

(The Bellas leave grossed out and disgusted.)

-Locker Room-

Sasuke is in deep thought when he hears Michelle screeching at Layla. But all you could hear is Layla crying.

Sasuke: A kendo stick, tear gas and an Orange City Chopper is all I ask…

Sakura: Let me guess, Naruto had something to do with this?

Sasuke: No… They've been going at it for the past hour and a half…

Sakura: Then where's Naruto?

Sasuke: Don't know, don't care…

(Sasuke gets off the bench)

Sakura: Where are you going, Sasuke?

Sasuke: Someplace else where I can hear myself think.

-Green Room-

Edge (on cell): Everything done? Good!

(hangs up)

Naruto: She won't know what hit her!

(Edge and Naruto glare at each other with that devious look and laugh loudly)

-RAW ZONE-

Cole: Don't Edge and Naruto have anything better to do in their lives?

King: I'm curious as to what they have planned!

Josh: Whatever it is, I'm looking forward to it.

Cole (angry): COMING FROM THE GUYS DRESSED IN NARUTO CLOTHES!

Kakashi (joining commentary): I'll admit, Naruto likes to be an instigator.

Cole: Anyway, we're LIVE in Arlington, Virginia, where we have a sold out crowd tonight.

*: EXCUSE ME!

(Crowd boos loudly)

Kakashi (dryly): Oh, boy… Here we go again…

*: EXCUSE ME!

(Crowd boos loudly again)

Josh: Stuff it, Vickie…

Kakashi (sarcastic): Another major headache…

Konohamaru (from crowd): What's wrong, gotta go to the bathroom?

Vickie (angry, to Konohamaru): BITE ME!

Konohamaru (from crowd): I would, but I don't want cooties!

R*O*C*K*S* blares in the arena as Naruto and Edge come out. Edge's pyro goes off as the Narutards and the Edge Heads in the arena cheer madly for them

Cole: GO AWAY NARUTO!

King, Josh and Kakashi: Shut up, Cole…!

(The signs say it all: "Naurto's Narutard Section", "We Want Naruto!", "Naruto' s my Hero", "Naruto is RAW")

Naruto: Sure ya don't have to go the bathroom?

Vickie: SHUT UP!

Edge: Hey, we have a right to ask. I mean, you do say "excuse me" a lot. Or do you just silently fart?

(Crowd laughs, even Kakashi thinks it's funny)

Cole: This is cruelty to Vickie Guerrero!

Kakashi: Too bad nobody seems to share your opinion…

Vickie: Naruto, I am old enough-

(crowd boos loudly)

Vickie: EXCUSE ME!

Vickie: Naruto, I am old enough to be your mother! You start showing respect to me RIGHT NOW!

Kakashi (dryly): …and she's off boys and girls…

(meanwhile in the catering area)

Christian (on cell): Set off the Elmendorf Stink Bomb.

-RAW ZONE-

Edge: Vickie, don't feel bad… At least we don't have that bad odor you got going.

Naruto: We better step out for the moment.

(Step out)

Kakashi: Why do I smell horse poo?

Cole: Oh, God! Don't tell me-

13 buckets full of horse poo inside the Elmendorf Stink Bomb explodes on Vickie, but all you can hear is a very loud cartoon like farting sound as it goes off

King: HOLY $%!

Josh: No pun intended!

Cole: OH, MY GOD! IT SMELLS IN HERE!

Kakashi (wearing a gas mask, sweat drops): Why am I not surprised…?

(Meanwhile in the Catering Area)

Sakura (extremely pissed off, yet disgusted): NARUTO WENT WAY TOO FAR THIS TIME!

Demon Sakura (extremely pissed off, yet happy): YEAH! A REAL TRUE BEAUTY! NOT EVEN I COULD HAVE THOUGHT OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT!

Sasuke (disgusted, holding his vomit): IT STINKS LIKE $*^!

Christian is laughing so hard that he inadvertently puts himself through the catering table. Almost the entire arena is cheering and laughing (except for Vickie, Dolph Ziggler, Michael Cole, Michelle McCool and CM Punk and his gang

Sakura (to Christian): You, Edge, Konohamaru and Naruto had something to do with it…?

-Back in the RAW ZONE-

Cole: OPEN A DAMNED WINDOW OR SOMETHING!

Vickie screams and cries in anger, disgust and more or less (cause they ruined Vickie's nice summer dress that "she paid" a fortune for)

(Icky Vickie starts blaring and Vickie runs out crying, as the crowd cheers)

Cole: This is just too much…

-The next day, Naruto's House 8:30 a.m.-

(Naruto and Edge are having morning ramen when a knock was at the door)

A/N: Edge moved to Kohona to teach at the Ninja Academy after he retired from WWE

Naruto& Edge: The door is open!

(door opens)

Vickie (angry): YOU OWE ME A NEW SUMMER DRESS!

Naruto (sweating bullets): What are you doing here!

Edge (sweating bullets): Can't we talk this over, Vickie?

(cartoon violence and fighting is heard in Naruto's house along side Edge and Naruto screaming in pain)

Vickie leaves satisfied through the beating they got

END?