AN: Hello all! This is my second fan fiction and first ever chapter story. The characters are OOC (just warning you!) and chapter stories aren't really my thing, but I thought i might give it a go. Sorry if it's bad (which it probably is) so reviews would be greatly appreciated!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of these characters. The very rich woman living in England does. I am just a fan :]

Queen Bees and Wannabes

Chapter One - The dummies' guide to humour

Hermione stumbled on the trick step and nearly risked the tall pile of heavy thick volumes falling out of her arms. She heard snickering from behind her and blushed with embarrassment, which soon turned into a glare when she realised who it was. It was easy to recognise him with the white blonde hair, a colour too white that she suspected that a permanent glamour charm had been placed on it since birth. Or maybe he was some kind of mutant wherein the natural process of blonde hair to brown never took place. Hermione giggled at the thought but was soon put out of her trance by the sound of her name from his lips.

"Granger."

Draco was walking down the hallway with Blaise and Goyle when he saw a slender figured brunette miss the trick step and watched as her body fell forwards. He was about to catch her when he realised who she was, the Mudblood, and stood aside watching as the books she was holding threatened to collapse on her. Blaise snickered at this and was soon joined in by Draco and Goyle―Draco because he wanted to cover up the lapse in judgement he almost made, and Goyle because well… Goyle didn't understand what he was supposed to be snickering about but doing what others did was his ultimate rule for survival so he just followed along with Blaise. As the figure turned around, and now Draco was a hundred and ten percent that it was her, he saw the remnants of a blush followed closely by a scowl and glare. This soon gave way to a different expression on her face, one of ―perhaps amusement? ―and so he said her name to announce his presence and bring her back to reality.

This obviously had the intended effect because the blankness in her eyes returned to their usual brightness and she also acknowledged him.

"Malfoy."

Hermione inwardly reprimanded herself for spacing out (she really had been doing that far too much lately) and wondered what he could want this time. Couldn't it be enough that he had seen her once again make a fool of herself and be content with it? But no, she supposed that Malfoy could never be Malfoy without flinging some sort of insult at her once a day, and of course, she had just given him another brilliant opportunity to attack.

Unfortunately for Malfoy who was just about to make a winning remark about her clumsiness, Goyle suddenly got it into his head that somehow saying his insult which he had been saving all month for (he had read it in A wizard's guide to achieving humour) would earn him glory amongst his friends.

"Did you have a nice trip, Granger?" Goyle tried his best to dip his words with sarcasm, but this unfortunately came out a little more high-pitched and squeaky than he had anticipated. So really, what came out sounded more like this: "Did you have a nice trip, Gran― (on this syllable his voice went up) ―ger?" Puberty was a stage Goyle had never really passed, even at seventeen years of age. His comment was met by raised eyebrows from all around the circle.

Hermione knew that Goyle was stupid, but she didn't expect him to be stupid AND unoriginal. Really, being stupid was fine but once you opened your mouth then it just gets a whole lot worse. Like this situation. The comment Goyle had made was so highly unoriginal that even a third grader could have done a better job. It sounded like it came out of some kind of cheap remake of the 'For Dummies' series from the muggle world. Hermione had seen them in the library and attempted to read one, but the obvious crossing out with black marker on the title and insertion of the word 'wizards' had turned her off. She wouldn't be highly surprised if Goyle did possess such a book. The step by step instructions were easy enough to follow for someone who has even half a brain.

Malfoy was cornered into feeling shame at his follower's actions, and so without making the marvellous comment he was about to say, he simply nodded his head in the direction of their next class and said:

"Come on, let's go. It's not worth our breath talking to a mudblood."

Hermione felt her anger brew at this. How dare he? He was the one who had said something to her first. Hermione swallowed this anger and spun on her heels and continued on her ascent up the stairs, a second too late because by this time Draco had already reached the end of the hallway.

By the end of the Transfiguration class Hermione's thoughts had been swimming with only one thing. Why did she take Draco's shit anyway? Sure, he was the person everybody feared and would hate to be on his bad side, but he rarely liked to pick on others regularly except for herself, Harry and Ron. She could have made comebacks, but apart from when her friends were around she lost the confidence to tell Malfoy to take his attitude and stick it up his arse. She knew the reason for this clearly. Apart from her fellow Gryffindors and select few Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, no one would support her even if she did make a comeback, so why go through the effort. Perhaps if she was popular with heaps of friends then she would get Malfoy off her back. This idea intrigued her, and Hermione was soon fantasizing about the confidence she would gain, and the privilege of others respecting her. Though she was the brightest witch of her year and the best friend of the Boy-Who-Lived, she hardly received any admiration from the students, so this was a secret dream she yearned for. Awakened from her daydreams by a chorus of voices, she noted that they were from a large crowd which had gathered blocking access to the corridor that lead to the dormitories. Hearing the voices of Draco and Pansy this aroused in her an interest which she knew she shouldn't be having. Standing on tippy-toes Hermione barely managed to see the two people who were at the centre of attention, one with dark, sleek hair and the other a blonde. Pansy and Draco. Hermione didn't need to strain her ears to hear what they were saying, despite the murmuring and hushed voices from the crowd of students from all different year levels.

"But­―but Drakieee! You don't mean that do you? Pleaaase don't do this (sob) I'll be better! I promise! Just…just" Here Pansy's voice was consumed by a great dramatic bout of sobs.

"Pansy, let GO of me." Draco gritted out through his scowl. By this time Hermione could see that both of Pansy's arms were wrapped around Draco's chest and her head glued firmly to his back, much to the displeasure of Draco.

"Pansy, I said it's over. I can't stand you and you are nothing more to me than a slut that's been used one time too many. Hell, get your fucking arms off me woman!"

Hermione spotted Seamus standing at the edge of the crowd like herself and so made her way over.

"Psst…Seamus, what just happened? Why is Malfoy breaking up with Parkinson here?" Though she lacked experience in love, common sense was a top attribute for Hermione and even she knew that breaking up in the middle of the corridors was a bad idea. Maybe this was some kind of sick way to gain attention? But no, Hermione knew that Draco Malfoy, despite his evil ways would not lower himself to this filthy standard. Attention was something that said Draco Malfoy had been born with, and so such a shallow action would not be needed.

Seamus was surprised to find Hermione here and doubly surprised when she didn't exert her role as Head Girl and break up the drama. He was triply surprised and shocked when she seemed to be showing an interest for this gossip.

"Think Parkinson was saying something about the Hogsmead weekend before Draco cracked it at her. Probably something about a date from what I hear. Then, you know the rest. They've been at this for almost 10 whole minutes now." Seamus looked at his watch incredulously.

Hermione couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the girl. Everybody knew her as the school slut but it would have hurt to hear it from your boyfriend. Or ex-boyfriend. Pansy Parkinson was pretty, popular and had power (the three Ps) but the only mistake was a boyfriend who did not love her. Maybe if Pansy was nice then somebody would love her. Hermione knew that sympathy for Pansy was bad, that Pansy had probably slept with almost as many boys as Malfoy had slept with girls, but the feminist in Hermione raged at the unfairness of it all. The popular guys were considered legends for the number of girls they'd been with, but the girls were called 'sluts' and 'whores'. Here, Pansy was dropped in front of a huge crowd and suffered humiliation whilst Malfoy, the insensitive jerk, couldn't care less apart from getting away from the pair of weak arms that were desperately clutching his body to hers.

Draco finally tore away the arms that were holding him from behind. Giving a quick once over of the crowd and one last look at Pansy, who was now a miserable wreck on the floor, he strode off.

As the crowd started clearing, Pansy was still on the floor, kneeling as her legs sprawled on either side of her. Nobody moved to help her up because they were all terrified of this girl. Hermione at this moment felt an invisible force drawing her to the dark haired girl, and felt the stirrings of something within her heart.

"Pansy?" The pair of red eyes glared up at her and behind the Hermione saw many different emotions behind the glassy exterior. Overwhelming sadness dominated it. Without saying anything else, Hermione slowly held Pansy's hand and gently pulled her up.

Pansy was now standing on her feet and let herself be lead by Hermione to the Slytherine common room down in the dungeons. Along the way there, neither glance nor word was exchanged between the two of them.

Pansy sat at the edge of her bed. Hermione had situated herself on a nearby armchair and was waiting for Pansy to speak. Just as Hermione got up and turned the knob of the door, she heard the distinctive voice of the other girl, this time not plagued by tears.

"Thank you."

Hermione waited.

"Why are you doing this for me?" This was the question she knew Pansy would ask, but her own thoughts were confusing even to herself. She tried, honestly she did to put it into words but found that she could not.

"I… I don't know. I guess…I…"

"I don't like owing people anything." Pansy's voice was blunt. She proceeded, "name your price. What do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything…"

"Just name it already! I told you I don't have the fucking time to listen your fucking bullshit!" Pansy had in annoyance gotten up from the bed and was now inches away from Hermione.

Hermione was dumbfounded for an instance. In the next, she thought about her secret desire and oh-how-easy it would be for Pansy to give it to her.

"I want you to teach me how to be popular."

Hermione was expecting some kind nasty remark but all she got instead was an:

"Okay, just give me a few days to…sort myself out. Then we'll start."

Pansy's voice sounded weak and thin, obviously Hermione had underestimated the tiredness and fatigue Pansy was facing.

Without another word Pansy waved a hand at Hermione to leave her and Hermione willingly obliged. The door closed behind her with a soft click.

Like it? Hate it? Sadly i can't read minds so leave me a review to let me know! :P Thank you!

- Y