Everything Wrong with The Land Before Time XI: Invasion of the Tinysauruses
in 11 minutes or less
Spoilers!
(duh)
Invasion of the Tinysauruses? Ooh, it's so intimidating. (ding)
Narrator: But it's also made up of many millions of particles far too small to see. And these tiny things are just as important to life as the large ones.
Well, this is kind of new.
Narrator: Many eons ago, dinosaurs ruled our planet.
F*ck! (ding)
Beetle transition. (ding)
Ducky: Why did you do that?
Littlefoot: Come on, you know the rules. Everybody has to wait until Nibbling Day.
Ducky forgets this once so that Littlefoot can give us that exposition. (ding)
Petrie: Ooh. Lots of good ones up top. Okey dokey, here me go.
(he begins flying down toward the tree)
Littlefoot stops Ducky and Spike from taking a tree sweet, but isn't at all concerned about Petrie trying to do so. (ding)
Cera's dad: What are you doing there?
(Petrie gets startled and just start falling)
Ge'ez, just a sudden breath of speech makes Petrie immediately forget that he can fly. (ding)
The impact of a dinosaur a hundredth of his weight sends Spike rolling over. (ding)
Cera's dad: I asked you a question, young one. What were you up to?
Petrie: Me think me see flying pointy-bottomed stinger up on tree sweets, so me trying to chase him off.
Movie that's about not telling lies has a character tell a lie at the beginning and get away with it. (ding)
Cera's dad: That's why I've made it my job to pay attention to every single little morsel on that tree. And if even one of them disappears, I'll know it.
Even Ronan from Guardians of the Galaxy could have called his bluff. (ding)
Cera: He caught you so bad. Looks like you're going to have to wait until Nibbling Day after all.
Cera is still a brat. (ding)
Petrie: (voiceover) It was the first time us ever saw the tree sweet tree.
So Littlefoot and his friends found the tree when it was fully grown. No other Great Valley residents came across it in the time that it would have taken for it to reach maximum growth? (ding)
(Cera leaps onto Littlefoot's back and grabs a tree sweet from the branch that Littlefoot was trying to reach)
Cera thought, "I should eat that tree sweet. It'll make me look like even more of an asshole." (ding)
Littlefoot: You think I'm small?
Littlefoot is once again bothered by his size, something he got over in the second movie. S*it, he just made a life decision in the last one. He should be well past the point that something like that would get to him. I think we're now at the point where the writers have stopped giving a s*it about the characters' maturity progression. (ding)
Cera: I'm just saying you're not exactly normal size for a longneck, are you?
Littlefoot: I'm still growing.
Littlefoot, just fire back with "You're not maximum triceratops size either." (ding)
Littlefoot: I'm still growing.
Cera: Oh, is that what's happening. It's taking a while, isn't it?
Cera would be good at CinemaSins. (ding)
Petrie: Way to go, Ducky.
Ducky: I didn't mean to...
Sure, scold her for just starting to say the name Littlefoot. (ding)
Tria: Topsy, it is you.
I could have lived without knowing that that was Cera's dad's real name. (ding)
Cera's dad's left brow horn is as flexible as the egg shells in these movies. (ding)
Littlefoot: 'Small one'. For now maybe. But one of these days.
Is Littlefoot supposed to have a cold in this movie? If not, then this is the worst of his eight voice actors. (ding)
Grandma: And your grandfather. Why, he was once your size. And look at him now.
Littlefoot: He was? You were?
Confirmation that the writers have stopped giving a s*it about the characters' maturity progression. Littlefoot would be well beyond the point of learning that adults were once the size and age of their kids. (ding)
Grandma: Not by your age, of course.
Grandpa: Well...no. By your age, I had grown.
Thanks, *grandparents*! (ding)
Littlefoot: Maybe they're all right. Maybe I am small.
You admitted that to yourself in the last scene. (ding)
Littlefoot falling through the tree causes every single tree sweet to fall off. Uh...no. I think not. (ding)
(the one last tree sweet falls off after Littlefoot gasps in terror)
One object gets deducted from something after the other countless do at once cliche. (ding)
(Littlefoot passes out)
And nobody happened to walk by during the time that Littlefoot was out. (ding)
Skidder ignores the rule about not eating something bigger than your own head. (ding)
Petrie's mom is enormous in this shot. (ding)
Petrie: (referring to Cera) What's the matter with...
Littlefoot: I didn't do it! You hear me? I didn't do it!
That was about as dumb as anything Cera does when she's in peril. (ding)
Tria: Hey, I know you. I saw you running away when Topsy and I found the tree sweets gone.
Well then, you don't know him. You just remember seeing him. Choose words better; I was starting to think that you were around when Littlefoot was a hatchling or something. (ding)
Cera's dad: Well, what do you have to say for yourself, huh?
Does everyone really think that Littlefoot ate every single one of them? I think it would be self-evident if he did. (ding)
Littlefoot: And then he screamed.
Cera's dad: Shouted. Not screamed.
You're in the Land Before Time, Mr. Threehorn. You needn't be all that ashamed. (ding)
(Cera's dad finds a fragment of tree sweet with tiny bite marks)
Cera's dad: He's telling the truth. Look, those bite marks were made by something really small.
Even I could have taken a really small bite out of something with just two of my teeth. (ding)
Also, the tiny longnecks don't have that small of jaws. S*it, we saw one earlier swallow one whole. (ding)
This rainbowface's eyes turn red for a moment. Are there now demon rainbowfaces invading the Great Valley, as opposed the potential angel ones that invaded in The Stone of Cold Fire? (ding)
Cera's dad: Creepy crawlies
Ducky's mom: Creepy crawlies
Other adults: Everybody hates those little creepy crawlies
Finally, the adults get a musical number. And it's the worst one in the whole series. (ding)
And even Littlefoot and his friends seem to know it. They just stand around awkwardly instead of joining in as they normally would. (ding)
Cera's dad: Of course, you all know what we have to do.
(everyone else stands in silence, waiting for the answer)
Cera's dad: We have to hunt them down and exterminate them.
No one else put that together when they just sung an entire song about how much they hate them? (ding)
Grandpa: And they have as much right to eat the tree sweets.
(everyone else responds with rejection, including Grandma)
(in the next frame, she has the same expression as Grandpa)
Make up your mind, Grandma. (ding)
Ducky: Creepy crawlies/creepy crawlies
Really, you thought that song was good enough to warrant a reprise? (ding)
Cera's dad: Remember, these things are small and fast.
When did Littlefoot say that they were fast? (ding)
Movie doesn't show the collision of something and just shakes the frame when it happens cliche. (ding)
Grandpa: Petrie, are you alright?
Petrie: Me okay. But you look way lot littler from up there.
You didn't learn from Journey to Big Water? (ding)
Littlefoot: Who was that with your dad anyway? Have you known her long? Hey, think maybe he likes her?
sigh (ding)
Littlefoot: You wanna look for tiny longnecks now?
Cera: No! (it echoes)
No. (ding)
Skidder: Will you get up please?
Skidder waits 15 seconds to ask Littlefoot to get off of him. (ding)
(Littlefoot runs away)
Skidder: Was it something I said?
Character gives an unexpected response and the other asks if it was something he said cliche. (ding)
However, movie earns one sin removed for the detail with the dust specks floating around in the light. (reversed ding)
Tria: Oh Topsy, you say the silliest things.
I know, right? (ding)
Skidder: I ate a tree sweet off your nose. Sort of icky, but good.
Sort of icky, but good? That statement is senseless, but intelligent. (ding)
Littlefoot: Sorry, not me.
Skidder: You sure? 'Cause I could have sworn...
Littlefoot: Nope. Different longneck.
Why did Littlefoot need to lie that time? Did he think the tiny longnecks would tattle on him? (ding)
Skidder: This is Rocky, and his twin sister Dusty.
Rocky: No, I'm Rocky. And she's...
Dusty: ...Dusty.
Aha, the classic twins finishing each other's sentences gag. Wait... (ding)
Skidder: And over there's Chatter, and there's...
Big Daddy: Skidder!
Couldn't think of anymore names, so...interruption! (ding)
Skidder: Better hide! That's Big Daddy.
Adam Sandler. (ding)
A big shadow approaches, but it's revealed to be cast by a small creature cliche. (ding)
Big Daddy faints by standing on his back feet and rolling over his tail and onto his back. Any four-foot animal would just fall onto its side when fainting. (ding)
Big Daddy: We can't even sneak out at night to find food.
Skidder: It's true. We're awful hungry.
After eating an entire tree of sweets earlier that day? Do those plants just melt in your mouth? That would explain many other questions. (ding)
Convenient ledge that leads to just underneath the hole in the ground is convenient. (ding)
Littlefoot rakes the pile of leaves with his tail and doesn't leave a trail. (ding)
Littlefoot is dead tired in the morning after being awake to do something that would only take 15 minutes max. (ding)
Ducky: (offscreen) Aw. It is not them. Ouch! Whatever it is, it bites!
A venus fly trap? I'd sure like to see this stuff. (ding)
Cera's dad: She likes me. And I like her.
Cera: But I want things back the way they were before. When you didn't like anybody and nobody liked you.
That makes one of us. (ding)
(Cera sees Littlefoot up late)
Cera: Hmm...he's up to something. And I'm going to find out what.
Or you could just go and ask him. You know, like a close friend would more likely do. (ding)
Does Cera really need to grab Petrie, Ducky and Spike to spy on him with her? (ding)
Cera sends Ducky to climb up the cliff to Petrie's cave instead of just throwing a melon at him. I mean, it seemed to work well in the last movie. (ding)
(Ducky and Petrie scream as they fall to the ground)
Nobody gets woken up by this. (ding)
Also, movie doesn't show the collision of something and just shakes the frame when it happens cliche AGAIN! (ding)
Littlefoot decides to enter the cave on this one particular night. (ding)
Skidder: Not again.
(Cera falls on him)
Skidder could have easily moved out of the way in the time that he said "Not again". (ding)
Ducky: There is something going on between Cera and Topsy...
Ducky said this loud enough that Cera would have heard, and she doesn't respond angrily when hearing the name Topsy. (ding)
Big Daddy: I would normally say no. But you're going to do it anyway. So I might as well save myself the effort.
What a great lesson for kids. Keep doing what your parents say not to do until they stop saying no. (ding)
Dino quartet. (ding)
(right after Littlefoot lies down to sleep)
Grandma: Wake up, Littlefoot. The great circle is already rising in the sky.
We interrupt this prehistoric kids movie to bring you The Land Before Time 2. (ding)
Cera: Daddy, they wouldn't hurt anybody. (skip) I mean, why would they? We're so much bigger than they are.
Cera's dad: It's the little ones you have to worry about.
Cera's dad thought "I'm just going to say that and hope they assume that it's a legitimate answer to the question. (ding)
(Lizzy swings on a branch hanging from the cave ceiling near the hole)
This branch was never there any of the times that Littlefoot or his friends exited. (ding)
(Cera's dad and Kosh push a rock from a ledge above the hole)
You know you guys can just move one already on the ground and not risk missing, right? (ding)
Littlefoot: The tiny longnecks ate the tree sweets, but they wouldn't have if I hadn't knocked them all off the tree.
Nobody wonders how Littlefoot accomplished this. (ding)
Cera's dad is suddenly on the ground. (ding)
Petrie: D'oh! PLUS, Spike eated all the bestest tree stars me found this morning!
Littlefoot: I didn't do that. Spike did.
But Petrie was still adding a reason for why he's mad, like you asked him to do. (ding)
Gotta get sharpteeth in this movie some way or another. (ding)
(the mussauruses run behind the rocks, and instantly afterward the utahraptors pass right by)
Yeah, like they didn't see where they went. (ding)
Littlefoot: Who needs friends anyway? I'm big enough to take care of myself.
Cue the song "On Your Own" from movie #6. (ding)
Flying tears. (ding)
Raptors have to shake their head after missing their bite. (ding)
(a CG'd ground rotates for 9 seconds as Littlefoot and Ducky run across it)
It's a small world after all. (ding)
(the blue-green utahraptor is ready to attack Petrie and Spike)
(it roars)
Then do it already! (ding)
Big Daddy: Why don't you pick on somebody your own size!
Excuse me, why the change? Last time we heard from you, you said...
Big Daddy: They're big enough to take care of themselves. Now come on.
(ding)
The number of tiny longnecks changes from 7 to 30+ throughout the movie. (ding)
Again, just use a rock that's already on the ground! (ding)
Grandpa: I'm sorry we had to seal up that new tunnel. We don't want any sharpteeth getting back in.
Littlefoot: Great! That means you've gotta stay!
Not necessarily. They could leave the way they entered the Great Valley, which I guess was over the great wall. (ding)
Littlefoot: Did you see, Grandpa? I could reach. I'm bigger now.
Grandpa: Littlefoot, you grew bigger the day you stood up in front of everyone and admitted you were wrong.
That and you would grow bigger after another year. (ding)
Movie Sin Tally: 88
Bonus Round
SCREAMS
+1
+1
+1
+2
+4
+1
+1
+3
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
Movie Sin Tally: 117
Bonus Round #2
CGI
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
+2
+3
+3
+3
+3
+3
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+10
+10
+10
+10
+10
+20
+20
+20
+20
+20
+50
+50
+50
+50
+50
x2
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
+2
+2
+2
+2
+2
+3
+3
+3
+3
+3
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+10
+10
+10
+10
+20
+20
+20
+50
+50
x3
Movie Sin Tally: 3,459
Sentence: EATEN!