Oh wow, this one took me quite a lot longer to write than I thought it would. It started in maybe February and ballooned all the way to now. Reviews would be very much appreciated if it isn't too much trouble. Thank you so much for reading if you took the time to do so~
Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Everything will be okay. You've got this. Don't worry yourself more then you need to okay? You're going to do just fine.
Francis stared at himself in the mirror as he hurriedly straightened his tie. Tonight was a big night for him, and he was going to do everything in his power not to mess anything up. Tonight, he was finally going to be having an evening out with Arthur. It had taken hundreds of years to finally even get the courage to ask him out like this. And it had been another handful of days before Arthur said yes. Francis knew just how hard it had been for him to agree to such a thing. Just saying yes was probably harder on him, then asking him out in the first place had been. The last thing Francis wanted to do was to let him down. He let his hands fall to his sides, and he sighed heavily. It was probably a lot harder on Arthur then he realized. Although Francis was a bit older then Arthur, Arthur had seen and been through so much more he imagined. Arthur had lost a lot of people in his lifetime. The Black Death, the Battle of Towton, the American Revolution, The Great Smog in 1952, and so on. He knew it was hard for him to let people into his heart because he was afraid of being hurt, or having to experience another tragedy as he had before. He had become isolated and didn't let himself be around others. Francis had noticed how he seemed to talk more to his magical friends then he did to him or Alfred. He needed someone to help him back on his feet. But he knew it wouldn't be easy. There was a lot he was carrying on his shoulders, and Francis knew it would make it even harder for him to truly let himself relax and have fun. Arthur hid a lot of his insecurities and his fears, letting it consume him. so, tonight, everything had to be absolutely perfect. No matter what. Francis wanted to make Arthur smile for him. At least once.
Francis smiled a bit. To be honest, he had his own reasons for not asking Arthur sooner. Sure it was the nerves that usually came with such a thing. But that was only part of the problem at hand. He had a rivalry with Arthur, and he had it for such a long time. The Anglo-French war, the Franco-Scots alliance, and of course, the Hundred-year war where...where he lost Joan. The smile left his face and he sighed bitterly. It had taken a long time for him to forgive Arthur. And in all honesty, he still hadn't. But this was not the first person lost between the two of them. No, they had taken many important people from one another. Arthur killed Joan in the Hundred Year War. Francis sided with Alfred in the American revolution. Arthur took Matthew away in the Constitutional act of 1791. And Francis made an alliance with Arthurs brother, Alistair, in the Franco-Scot alliance, against Arthur. They had hurt each other so many times throughout history. And yet to still be willing to give one another a chance? That felt so special to him.
Francis glanced at his watch. It was just about time. He gave himself one last look over to make sure everything looked good. Hair was perfect. Grey pants were smooth and clean. The black jacket was also nice and clean. Flower tucked into the jacket pocket. Map folded in his back pocket for just in case, and wallet in the front pocket. Perfect. Haha, it really wasn't like him to get so stressed over such a thing. He was usually the sort of person to go with the flow and allow the chips to fall where they may. But this was different, and he knew that. So he really had to be careful.
He left his house after giving his spoiled, white cat a quick kiss. The sky was becoming just a little dark when he left. The blue had been replaced with a bit of an orange tint instead. Just as he had expected. He had a special night planned for Arthur. They would browse the shops, have dinner, and then go stargazing together. Simple, but with a lot of potential for something nice~ He was excited. Now, he just had to get to the meeting place. He told Arthur they would meet before the market-place at around 6:00. Perhaps they could shop for about an hour or so. Whatever Arthur wanted to do was fine by him!
So that's how he found himself standing patiently, waiting for Arthur. He glanced at his watch once again. 6:03. Where could Arthur be? Surely he wouldn't forget, would he? Francis sighed. His nerves were making him a little fidgety. He began to tap his foot and drum his fingers on his thigh. he wasn't impatient, he was just nervous really. Glancing at his watch again, he suddenly became alerted to another problem. Ah. Perhaps having so much coffee with his lunch wasn't the best of ideas. He was becoming just a little uncomfortable. Truth be told, he had been feeling a bit fidgety like this at home as well as he got ready, which was about a half hour ago. Perhaps he shouldn't have ignored it after all. Well, it didn't matter now. He couldn't leave his spot, or else Arthur might miss him. It was fine. He could hold it. It wasn't so bad right now anyway. Just a little uncomfortable.
6:10. Okay, now he was really getting nervous. Why had he not shown up yet? He resisted the urge to bite his nails as he looked around, trying to spot him. Damn it. His nerves made the pressure below just a little worse, making it feel just a bit more urgent than it really was. Where could he be?
"Francis!" He jumped a bit and looked to see Arthur, hurrying towards him. Oh, thank goodness! Arthur stopped in front of him, his hands on his knees as he panted. "You'll have to forgive me for being late. I'm afraid the road I usually take was closed down and I had to find another way around. I swear I didn't forget." Francis breathed a little sigh of relief as he smiled.
"It's alright. I'm just glad you're here now," he chuckled. Arthur wore a pair of tan slacks, and a green and brown sweater vest. Not the best date apparel he had to admit, but it was alright~ It suited him. He waited for Arthur to properly catch his breath before he spoke. "I have our night all planned out for us. We can do a bit of shopping until it's time for our reservation. Then, star-gazing. I know the perfect spot, where there isn't too much light. That way, the stars are very nice and visible. How does that sound?" He asked.
"That sounds rather lovely," Arthur agreed. "It's been too long since I've been out like this. It was very kind of you to...ask me out like this," he said, clearing his throat. He knew there were romantic intentions. He harbored feelings for Francis as well but had never been able to muster the courage to say so. Heh. He supposed if Francis had not asked him out like this, then they would still be secret feelings. So he supposed he could be grateful. "Well, go ahead and lead the way then," he said casually.
"But of course~" Francis chuckled. "Tonight is going to be just perfect, I promise!" He walked along the path, holding Arthur's slightly smaller hand in his own. He hoped to find a potential gift idea for him here. Arthur was never very open about his interests, so it was a bit hard to figure out what he may or may not like really. So, he planned to wait, and see what caught his interest. The two of them walked together, past clothing shops, food places, toy stores, and book stands. But something seemed to be a bit off...
Francis waited for Arthur to stop or have a look at something. Anything! But for some reason, nothing seemed to be catching his interest. Why was that he wondered? Did he need to take him someplace else or something of the sort? He just hoped he wasn't boring him. Arthur didn't seem to be looking for anything, or at anything. Almost like he wasn't interested. "Aha, mon chere?" Francis said. "Was there anything, in particular, you wanted to see? Anything you wanted to look at?" Arthur looked a bit surprised when he was asked this.
"O-oh! Were you waiting for me to pick something?" he asked. "Oh dear, I was waiting for you I'm afraid," Arthur explained to him. "I wasn't sure if you had anything planned or something of the sort. I just planned to follow your lead. I'm not so good at making decisions you see."
Francis laughed softly. "It's not really about deciding for me. It's just a matter of picking something you like. This isn't a test, where there is a right or a wrong answer. I'll be fine with anything you choose."
"Right," Arthur nodded, not really looking at Francis. Oh dear, had he made Arthur a bit nervous? He hadn't meant to do that. looks like he would need to keep his hands on the wheel because Arthur was feeling a bit too nervous to drive.
"Well, why don't we have a look over there?" Francis suggested, motioning towards a book shop nearby. "There might be something you like in there," he offered. He wished he could use an example. but now that he thought about it, he didn't know what sorts of things Arthur liked to read. Oh gosh, he should have figured that out ahead of time. It might have saved them a bit of this awkwardness.
"If you want to." Francis had to bite back a sigh. It wasn't about if he wanted to do it. He had suggested it because he wanted to know if Arthur wanted to do it. This was going to be a bit more difficult then he realized. But he wasn't going to give up. He had to try and make Arthur happy. He wanted to make him happy! At first, he had been a bit worried that it had been for his own selfish purposes. But he knew why he really craved this. It was so rare to see Arthur truly smile nowadays. And he just wanted him to be happy more than anything else.
He decided it would be best not to pressure him to tell him what he really wanted, and just guided him into the shop. The shelves had a thin layer of dust on them, and the elderly gentleman behind the counter gave them a kind smile. He hoped Arthur liked it here. He glanced at Arthur, who still held to his hand. Francis loosened his grip and let him go. "Go ahead and have a look around hm? If there is something you like, then just let me know okay? I'll get it for you."
"What? Francis, you don't have to do something like that. I brought my wallet, I could just get it myself.
"No no. You are my date. And this is my treat. Think of it as...as a gift. From me to you. Okay?" When Arthur looked hesitant, Francis smiled. "I insist." Arthur just nodded, still looking unsure, before going to browse. As he did, Francis sat down in one of the old easy-chair, and let out a breath that he hadn't realized he was holding. Was this going well? Arthur seemed so tense, almost like he didn't want to be there. Perhaps this was a bad idea after all. Had he just dragged Arthur out, not giving him a chance to say no? He hoped that wasn't the case. He smirked. Why was he getting so anxious? This really wasn't like him at all. He had courted a few beautiful people before, this was by no means his first date. But Arthur, he was different. He was just so special to him, in a way he almost didn't understand. He wasn't going to mess this up, no matter what.
Waiting for Arthur, he made a face. Oh dear. He had nearly forgotten about his other problem. It was starting to become a bit of a pressing matter, rather than just an irritation. It didn't help that his nerves were making it a bit harder to ignore. He pressed his legs tightly together, which seemed to help ward off the feeling. But just a bit. It was becoming quite uncomfortable. He glanced around the small shop a bit, but as expected, there was no restroom. Well...whatever. He could hold it till they got to the restaurant. He wasn't a child who had to use the restroom immediately once it started getting uncomfortable. He was an adult, and he would be fine.
Hm. Arthur was taking a little longer then he expected. He glanced discretely at his watch. Reservations were in half an hour. They had time. Right? Francis gently bounced his legs, trying to ward off the fullness of his bladder. It was really getting harder and harder to ignore as time went on. It was starting to come and go in waves. Where was that man?
"Francis?" He looked up to see Arthur approaching him, hands folded behind his back.
"Ah, there you are." He noticed that Arthur seemed to be empty-handed. "Arthur, did you not find anything you liked?" he asked.
"No, not exactly," Arthur said as he shook his head.
"Are ye sure lad?" the elderly gentleman behind the counter suddenly called. Arthur jumped a bit and turned to look at him. "Ye seemed rather interested in that book o' fairy tails. Did ye not wish to purchase that?" Arthur's cheeks grew rather pink in response.
"I-I was just looking is all," he huffed, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's just something that reminded me of the book I had as a boy. I didn't want it though."
"Nonsense. Ye was leafing through it like there was some sort of secret in there to find," the man laughed.
"Arthur, if you like the book then that's okay. I can purchase it for you, I don't mind," Francis assured him.
"I already said I didn't want it!" Arthur insisted. But he was mortified to see the man had gotten up from the counter and limped over to get the book. He came back a moment later with the thick book. A very persistent man he was really. Arthur sighed heavily as the man began to ring it up. "Francis please, this is too embarrassing," Arthur whispered harshly to him. His cheeks were stained with a red hue, but Francis smiled kindly.
"There is nothing to be embarrassed about silly. I told you before that I wouldn't mind getting something for you didn't I? This is simply my gift to you alright?" He looked at the old cash register. $30 popped up on the little slot. Hm, quite a bit for a book wasn't it? Then again, it was rather aged, and it was big too.
"Francis please..." Arthur tried, but he didn't seem to hear him. Francis paid the man, thanking him kindly. The book was handed to Francis as the man looked for a bag. Francis opened the book at had a look himself. Leafing through the pages, his nose twitched. This old thing was awfully dusty, wasn't it? He took in a bit of a halting breath, before sneezing. And immediately after that, he gasped and hunched over a bit. It would seem his muscles hadn't been expecting that, and his bladder leaked a bit. Not terribly so, but enough to dampen his undershorts just a bit. Whoops! He had to be more careful... That little bit of release made it a bit harder to keep control over himself. His bladder throbbed, reminding him to go as soon as possible, and asking to be released soon.
Arthur didn't seem to notice thankfully, as his eyes were on the ground. Francis quickly straightened out and handed the book to the man as he kept his legs together. The book was wrapped in tissue paper and then placed into the bag. "You have a nice day now," the man said with a tip of his hat.
"You as well," Francis said back as they exited the shop. He handed the bag to Arthur with a smile. "Lapin, you don't have to be afraid of asking for what you want. I want to make you happy. I really don't mind." Arthur was still blushing up a storm and almost seemed to be scowling.
"I...I hope you don't expect me to thank you for that," he said, his sharp tongue in place. Francis only chuckled. He was more than used to Arthur acting a bit crabby when he was upset or embarrassed. "I was trying to warn you, but you didn't listen. That dumb book could have been bought somewhere else for much cheaper. It isn't worth $30 Francis. That shop was a scam. Sure I like the book. But wouldn't pay that much for it frog," Francis wilted a bit, which didn't go unnoticed by Arthur. "Oh. Oh dear, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scold you like that." Arthur sighed. "I just didn't want you to go out of your way for me like that. Please listen to me next time alright?"
"Right, I will. I'm sorry about that," Francis said. Damn. It as only the beginning, and he had already messed up. Embarrassing Arthur like that was the very last thing he wanted to do. "Well, why don't we have a look somewhere else now instead? I saw a nice little antiques shop not too far away. Would you like to have a look?" He was rather relieved to see a little smile form on his face.
"My, that sounds quite lovely. If it isn't too much trouble, I would love to," Arthur responded. Francis smiled back at him and led him towards it. Finally, a real smile, just for him. That made him happy, even if it was rather small. It still meant more to him then Arthur would ever realize.
The shop wasn't too far away thankfully, just a few feet away. Francis opened the door for him, and Arthur stepped inside. Francis was delighted to see how he just seemed to take everything in. Heh. He loved seeing such an expression from him. It was almost cute~ "Like I said at the book shop, if you see anything of interest, then just let me know, okay?" Arthur didn't answer him, just stepping further inside and giving the place a look. He peered inside a glass case, filled with some old jewelry. Then, he went to browse the shelves, with Francis following along. He really did hope that Arthur found something he liked. He wanted to make up for what happened with the book. He walked slowly, giving Arthur time to browse the shelves. Vases, music boxes, old toys, picture frames, all sorts of things. There was even what looked to be an urn! How spooky...
Eventually, Arthur paused at a case full of small figurines. Francis waited patiently as he browsed, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Haha, to be honest, he was starting to be able to push his problem to the back of his mind a little more than before. He was just so glad that Arthur looked so content, rather than all anxious like before. But he couldn't seem to completely ignore it. As expected. Perhaps it would be best to go to the restaurant right after huh? That little leak back at the book shop seemed to have been a warning. The longer he held still, the harder it became to hold it as well as he had been. How could such a little problem balloon so quickly? When he was sure Arthur's back was turned, he bent his knees a little to try and relieve a little pressure.
"Oh, Francis..." He quickly straightened up again when Arthur turned around, holding a little figurine in his hand. "Would you just look at this?" His eyes were a bit wide, and he looked rather pleased. The figure in his hands was of a little girl with blonde hair and a blue bow. She had a delicate little face, with eyes that were gazing up so innocently. She was toting along what looked to be a cart full of puppies. And in her other hand, the one that did not hold the cart, she had a sign that said, 'Free Puppies.' Her face and the distinct shape that came with it was rather familiar.
"Ohh, I think I've seen these before. These were called eh...Precious Moments, yes?" Francis asked. He tried to keep a peppy attitude about him, but he was feeling a bit distracted and bothered.
"That's right. But I didn't ever think I would find one of these," Arthur said. "This one is called, 'God loveth a Cheerful Giver.' It's rather rare don't you know? It was made back in 1977, and it's so hard to find nowadays. Who would have thought it could be located in a shop like this one?" Francis chuckled a bit, which made Arthur blush. "Or, that's what Matthew was telling me at least."
"Is that right? Well, would you like me to get it for you?" he asked. Arthur's eyes widened as he put it back on the shelf.
"Oh goodness no Francis!" he insisted. "Something of that nature would be too expensive. I would rather you not," he said. Francis frowned. He almost wanted to insist, as it would likely make Arthur a lot happier then he had been. But he didn't want to embarrass him. Still, if it was rare enough to get Arthur so surprised, then it would be hard to come across again, wouldn't it? He had to think about that for a second. What would be the gentlemanly thing to do here?
"I understand," he finally said. "Here, why don't you keep looking huh? Something caught my eye earlier as well, and I wanted to have a look at it before we left." Arthur nodded, his gaze a bit wary. He really hoped Francis listened. He knew that sometimes, he could be rather impulsive, and did as he pleased quite often. If he tried to buy such a thing for him, he would be too mortified. Arthur turned and went off to have a look at a display of scarves that caught his eye.
In the end, he should have kept his eye firmly on the Frenchman. Once he was gone, Francis pulled the little figure from the shelf once again and looked it over. It was in a rather fine condition, other than having the colors be a bit faded from age. He wanted to give this to him, he really did. He truly meant him no harm, and he knew he was going against Arthur's wishes. But sometimes, he didn't know when to listen, and when not to, especially when it came to Arthur. Sometimes, Arthur would insist he was unhappy, when the reality was that he was so pleased, he was almost embarrassed. But on the flip-side, sometimes he would tell the others that he was just fine when the reality was he was on the verge of tears. Francis sighed. He wished he could just understand what Arthur was thinking. Why didn't he let others know how he was feeling? Was he afraid? Worried? Maybe he didn't trust his feelings with others yet, or he simply didn't know how to share so much. He was so confusing, and he had Francis confused as well. Well, for now, he supposed, he would purchase the little thing. If it made Arthur happy, then so be it.
He approached the counter with the little figure cupped in his hands. He held it carefully, so as not to drop it. The thing was made of glass, and it would truly tragic if it shattered. He felt a sudden hand on his shoulder that made him turn. Uh-Oh. Arthur stood there, his arms folded tightly over his chest. "Bloody frog," he sighed. "I told you I didn't want it didn't I? Stop going out of your way like that. It's quite honestly starting to get a bit irritating." Now it was Francis's turn to blush.
"Irritating? All I wanted was to give you a gift."
"A gift I don't want?" Arthur asked back. "Francis, I wish you would just listen to me. It's so annoying when my words go in one ear and come out the other with you. Why do you never listen to a word I say? Are you daft?" Whoops! He hadn't really meant to insult Francis. But sometimes, these things just slipped out. It was too late now. Francis also looked a little annoyed.
"I don't always listen, because I don't always know if you are telling the truth," Francis replied. "You are always hiding the way you feel from me, and from the others. It's hard to know if what you are saying is the truth or not sometimes." He felt a little bad too. He didn't want to scold Arthur. So he did what he could to keep calm. but sometimes, Arthur really knew how to push his buttons.
"Well I can assure you, I'm telling the truth now. Maybe it's a little too hard for someone like you to recognize, however, but I can assure you it is." Arthur rolled his eyes. Francis scowled a bit in return.
"Fine. No need to be so testy with me," Francis huffed. As he went to put it back, he could hear Arthur mutter something under his breath.
"Perhaps the reason I don't share my feelings with you is because a daft frog like you would never understand." Francis froze. He felt his blood boiling a little. Honestly, he did love, Arthur. But sometimes, the two of them could really grind each other up. "Well, are you going to put it back or not?"
"Perhaps not," Francis said, sighing through his nose. "Perhaps I don't understand, because you won't give me the chance to!" he said, turning back around to face him. A-Ah. His knees were becoming a little shaky. But he sucked it up and continued. "How can anyone help you or get to even know you, if you continue to push us away? It isn't fair to anyone. It isn't fair to me! How can you call me 'daft' when you yourself are making bad decisions?" Arthur went a little red in the face.
"That's not unfair Francis. What's unfair is being accused of hiding things and being distant, when you yourself won't listen! That's what's unfair! Maybe if you listened to me, and actually paid attention, then you wouldn't be as out of the loop as you are now." Goodness, such a spar over such a little thing. He scowled and turned his head away. "Just put the stupid thing back will you?" Francis didn't say anything. Instead, he went towards the counter again. He didn't really want to give this to Arthur anymore. But he felt a bit spiteful still. "Again with ignoring me? Hey Frog!" He scolded. Arthur grabbed his jacket and pulled. Francis stumbled back. And, as if in slow motion, the figure slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor, shattering into many pieces. Neither of them said a thing. They heard the woman behind the counter sigh and begin to ring them up. Francis shook his head a bit and looked at Arthur.
"Why don't you wait for me outside? I'll take care of this." Arthur seemed like he wanted to say something. But he decided against it. He stepped outside, for now, his head hanging low. Francis sighed heavily and approached the counter to pay. As Arthur had warned, it turned out to be more then he expected. $350 for such a little thing? Goodness. He waited as the woman looked for a broom. As she did, Francis groaned softly and gripped the counter with one hand, pressing his legs together tightly. He wished she would hurry. This was becoming quite a bit more urgent as time passed. He groaned again when another little spurt escaped him, wetting his boxers. This was not good, not at all. He was able to sweep up the mess after he paid, and stepped outside.
Arthur stood by the door, waiting patiently. Thankfully, he hadn't left. His eyes were focused on the cracks in the sidewalk, and he seemed so downtrodden. Once Francis stepped outside, the two of them met each other's eyes. 'Sorry' was exchanged between the two of them. "Perhaps, we could try again?" Francis offered. "There's still a little ways to go tonight right?" Arthur only nodded. He didn't seem to want to give up on tonight either. "Erm, why don't we start heading down to the restaurant then. I've made us some reservations, so we should be getting there soon."
"Fine by me." His tone made him sound rather disinterested, which really made Francis concerned. He reached out to hold Arthur's hand once again but realized it was stuck in his pocket. So he left it be for now. He quietly stuck both hands in his own pockets instead. The place wasn't all too far from here. Francis let out a soft sigh and realized with a jolt that he could almost see his own breath. Was it really that cold outside? He hadn't realized. He peered up at the darkening sky and could see the clouds rolling in. Oh dear, it wasn't going to start raining, was it? He should have checked the weather before he scheduled this date in the first place! If it rained on them, that would be a disaster! Glancing at Arthur, his brows furrowed. Perhaps getting wet wouldn't be the main problem here.
Arthur was staring at the sky as well. He seemed to have noticed the same thing Francis had. And he looked a tad concerned. It didn't take long for Francis to realize why. Arthur had always been afraid of storms, particularly ones with thunder. He didn't know if it would just be a drizzle, or a downpour, or a thunderstorm. Francis saw the way Arthur gripped the bag in his other hand even tighter then he had before. He was anxious, and understandably so. Arthur had a lot of trouble with loud and sudden sounds. Particularly things like thunder, or fireworks. If it was bad enough, it would send Arthur spiraling into a panic attack. Francis's stomach twisted up on him and he pats Arthur's shoulder. "Arthur, are you alright?" he asked. Oh, wait! Why did he ask that? He knew Arthur would answer positively, even if it wasn't true. He should have just started with the comforting instead. Arthur lowered his gaze from the sky to Francis and gave him a weak smile.
"Oh. Yes. I'm alright, please don't worry about me," he said calmly. Francis raised an eyebrow. Perhaps his expression was reading as one of disbelief. Because Arthur frowned back at him. "Francis honestly. I'm just fine. Please don't give me such a face." In all honesty, he was feeling a tad nauseated, just looking at those big clouds. He wanted to get inside as soon as possible. That way, he would be safe. He wouldn't hear anything. "Well, what about you? You're looking a bit tense yourself," he pointed out.
Ah, did he really? He hadn't really noticed that. But it was understandable if he was. He hadn't forgotten about his own little problem and had been walking with rather stiff legs. His body was a little tense, and making the urge to hold himself rather hard to ignore. The black belt around his waist wasn't making things any easier, putting pressure on his bladder. He would need to use the restroom as soon as he got to the restaurant. "I'm alright," he assured Arthur. "It's just a little cold, that's all it is. Let's just get to the restaurant quickly okay? I booked a really nice place for us tonight."
"Sounds lovely," Arthur nodded. He wondered what Francis had in mind. The two of them walked together down the path until Francis finally stopped them with a smile.
"Here we are! La Papillion~" He said proudly. He knew this place like the back of his hand. It had some of the most decadent food he'd ever had. The fish dishes were very good, and the dessert was perfect. Yes, this had the best...French food. Uh-oh. His smile wavered a bit. Ah, now that he thought about it, maybe a place with English food would have been better? Something that would appeal more to Arthur, rather than something that appeals to his own tastes. Ohhh could he be any more stupid?! He was supposed to be thinking about Arthur, not himself! If Arthur was displeased by this, it didn't seem to show. He only smiled politely.
"Seems nice. Thank you, Francis," he said. He gave a final glance at the sky, before looking at Francis. "Let's go inside now okay?"
"Ah, alright," Francis nodded. He couldn't help but feel a little relieved. Arthur didn't seem to be upset. He was certainly still anxious regarding the potentially poor weather. But that was understandable. He smiled and led Arthur into the place. He gave in the reservation number, and the two of them were led to their table. Francis and Arthur sat down at their table across from one another and were given glasses of water and menus by a waiter with a friendly smile. Arthur opened his menu and began to scan the dishes. As he did, Francis glanced around. If he remembered right, the restrooms were near the entrance. Right, the table was just a little farther away from there then he might have hoped, but that didn't mean he couldn't make it there. It would be just fine. He looked back at Arthur to properly excuse himself. But when he did, Arthur took this chance to speak to him.
"Francis, what do you normally get here? I'm afraid I can't understand half of the dishes here," he admit.
"Oh! Here, let me see." Francis slid from his seat, and sat down next to Arthur. "What did you want? Something with meat in it, or maybe a soup?" she asked.
"I'm not sure. Goodness, it would be so much easier if they put some sort of description under the dish at least." Francis only chuckled. The waiter came by and took drink orders after a bit, which thankfully Arthur could do on his own. Once Arthur was finally able to choose what he wanted, and the waiter took their orders for meals. Francis went back to his own seat with a little sigh.
"Francis, are you feeling alright? I know I asked you before, but you really do look a little out of sorts," he pointed out with a frown. "You aren't feverish, are you?" he asked.
"Oh. No no, I promise I'm alright. I suppose I just have a lot on my mind," Francis said as he cleared his throat. Ah, was it a little warm in here? He tugged at his collar a bit. Under the table, he kept his legs pressed tightly together. He was starting to develop a bit of a tummy ache. He kept one arm on the table, resting his cheek on his hand. And the other rested under the table on his lap. The temptation to hold himself was getting stronger, and it was making him sweat.
"Hm. Well, do you want to talk about it? Maybe I could help you out a bit," he offered. "What's on your mind?" Francis didn't answer at first. Well, he couldn't very well tell Arthur what the actual problem was. But he couldn't disregard him either could he? What was he supposed to do in a situation like this?
"I don't know. It's really nothing I don't think I can talk about it much," he admit. "It's nothing." Gosh, now he could excuse himself, right? But that didn't seem to be the case. Looking at Arthur, he quickly realized that he wasn't the only one feeling a bit tense. Arthur was tracing circles on the rim of his glass. He seemed a bit out of sorts himself. "What about you? Was there something you wanted to talk about?" he asked. Arthur said nothing at first. The only sounds were the clinking of utensils, and the soft music that played, nearly drowned out by the conversations of the people around them.
"I'm sorry for getting so cross with you earlier," Arthur finally said. "I feel like I've been behaving a bit rudely tonight."
"What?" Francis asked. He brought the other hand away from his lap and rested both elbows on the counter. "Why are you saying that?"
"I've been a bit uncouth with you, and I know that. I shouldn't have scolded you for purchasing the book for me, or for showing such concern for me earlier. And I certainly should not have argued with you in the way that I did. Please understand, this was my first date in ages. So I suppose I found myself rather nervous," he explained. He chuckled softly. "But I suppose that's not much of an excuse. I've never been so good at expressing how I feel. You know that by now I presume," Arthur said, his eyes focused on the table. He didn't want to meet Francis's eyes, which were filled with concern."
"Arthur, you don't have anything to apologize for. I can understand if you were nervous! To be honest, I was a bit worried myself. I just wanted you to have a good time."
"You were looking out for me the whole time huh? I really do appreciate that. But I worry that I may have mucked things up."
"Why would you say that?" Francis asked. Arthur's expression somehow became even more downcast, so he quickly corrected himself. "I don't think you messed up a single thing tonight. I've had quite a good time with you." He couldn't help but feel rather worried. Why did Arthur feel this way? If anything, he was the one who had messed things up. "I'm sorry if you are not happy. Please, what can I do to fix it?" he asked.
"Please stop!" Arthur suddenly said as he sat up. "Don't act like you can fix it. Not when there isn't anything to fix." He sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. "You went and planned such a wonderful evening for me, and I've gone and messed it all up. I was ungrateful for the things you've done for me, and treated you as a burden. And I'm sorry." Francis's brows grew higher and higher when he heard Arthur's voice crack a bit. "Say, Francis. Remember how you said that I hide my feelings too much?" he asked. "Well, this is why." Arthur sighed once again and managed to keep his voice as steady as he could. "I'm not as strong as you may think I am Francis. If I let out such emotions like this, and never hold myself back, you'll end up seeing everything. Everything that I didn't want you to see is going to come out. All of these walls I've managed to build up will come crashing down around me. I don't want that. It frightens me. You're a much more insightful person then I realize sometimes, and I was afraid that if I came with you tonight, all of these ugly truths would come out. That's why it took me such a long time to say yes." He finally lifted his head, and stared at Francis with his misty, emerald orbs. "I don't want anyone to see what's inside of me Francis. Not Alfred. Not Matthew. And especially not you."
"But why not me?" Francis asked. "If you were brave enough to say that at least, why can you not show me anything else? Why can't you let your true feelings out?" Arthur said nothing, only biting his lip. "Arthur you're distancing yourself again. If you do not tell me, I cannot fix it."
"Because you're perfect, alright?" Francis was quite taken aback by this. "You're always smiling, always laughing. Do you know how many people love you? Want to be you? Envy you? It isn't fair! I thought, that perhaps, if I could be a bit more like you, then it wouldn't be this hard. Telling these things to someone like you, that was the hardest thing of all." Arthur swallowed heavily. "The British empire, the people in it, and everything about my nation is strong. But I as myself? I do not think so. I..." he sighed. "Look, I don't want to talk about it anymore." Francis was dumbfounded. Absolutely dumbfounded. How long had Arthur felt this way? How had he not picked up on his struggles? How could he have been so blinded by his own stupidity, and just let Arthur cry alone in such a way?
"Arthur I...I am not perfect. Not at all," Francis tried, his hands a little shaky. But Arthur didn't seem like he wanted to listen. He placed both hands in his lap, and gave himself a little squeeze as he leaked. He was nervous, ashamed, afraid, and it was all just a bit too much. He leaked once again, and he could feel the warmth accumulate in his hands. He didn't look, but he could tell there was at least a small stain on those grey pants he was wearing. He was starting to panic a bit. He had to keep calm for Arthur. Arthur needed help. Someone to comfort him and tell him everything would be okay. Francis had to bite his lip tightly so he didn't start crying. Arthur didn't understand, Francis had so many flaws too. Sometimes, too many flaws. He wasn't as confidant as Arthur made him out to be. Arthur didn't know how many times he felt so weak, and powerless against others sometimes. He didn't know how many times he faked that big and bright smile. Arthur had no idea how many times he spent alone at home, crying his eyes out in his dark bedroom. He didn't see that. Francis came to a sudden realization. He himself had been the one to hide his feelings. He was such a hypocrite. He had tried so hard to make Arthur understand why it was bad to hide away, when he himself was too much of a coward not to do the same thing. He tried to say something, but he could not. He felt so numb. He just stared at Arthur. How miserable was Arthur feeling right now? Was he cross?
He saw his partner glance at his watch, and heard him tapping his foot. He did this often during meetings. But that was only at the end. When...he was getting ready to leave. Was he about to give up and leave? He couldn't! But then again, why wouldn't he? This had to have been such an awful experience for him. Francis stared at his lap, his legs trembling as he tried his hardest not to wet himself right there. He...he really messed up didn't he? He couldn't fix this. He couldn't fix a thing. He embarrassed Arthur, fought with him, broke something important to him, and even made him anxious and potentially made him close to tears. He did the best he could, and he still managed to fuck everything up. He pursed his lips tightly and faced the wall, trying to get his wits together. And for a moment, both of them were very quiet. The restaurant itself seemed to have become rather quiet too, with just a general hush going about. But very suddenly, and without much warning...
The shriek of a child rang around the place, echoing off the walls, and making the patrons jump. One of the tots, having grown rather cross at the denial of being released from his chair, had quite suddenly begun to throw a fit. Arthur sighed heavily and wiped a bit of sweat from his brow. Aha, at least this was a good ice-breaker. He looked to Francis was an awkward chuckle. "Haha. That startled me. I wonder if...Francis?" He paused, and his smile faded when he saw Francis's expression. His face was a dark red, and his head tilted to the ground. His violet eyes were welling with tears as well. "Francis, what's the matter? What has you so upset? Was it what I was saying earlier?" he asked, rather nervous.
"N-n-non," Francis stuttered out. Arthur had never seen him make such a face before. What he did not see, was what was happening under the table. Both hands were clutching tightly at his crotch, but it was not very effective. His bladder had finally decided it had enough. When he jumped, it had released itself, and a puddle was quickly forming under his bottom. It pooled on the leathery seat beneath him, and to the ground. He swallowed heavily. "I'm fi-fine," he managed to say. He smiled at him, but it was strained, and it was too obvious to see that something was the matter. Arthur raised an eyebrow.
"Don't lie to me, it's written all over your face. What's..." he paused. What was that? He could hear the sound of liquid spattering against the ground. It was a bit hard to hear past the chatter in the place, but it was close enough to hear. Did that mean that...? "Francis. Pardon me for asking but are you erm...?" Francis seemed to know what he was about to ask and shook his head. But it didn't help that tears were dripping down his cheeks and off his chin from the mortification. Arthur was quiet for a second. then, he ducked his head under the table, ignoring Francis's plea for him not to. He blinked a few times, surprised to see his concerns confirmed. Just as he had suspected, Francis was having an accident, right there under the table. He was very still for a moment, not knowing what to do. And he was to watch under it slowly pattering to a stop, leaving Francis sitting in a puddle of his own urine. He heard Francis let out a choked little sob, so he drew him head up again and sat properly. Francis's head was tilted down, so he nearly couldn't see him, and his shoulders shook. His stomach still hurt him quite a bit from the nerves, and he felt like he would simply burst into tears.
"I'm sorry," he whispered out. "I'm not as perfect as you tell me I am. I make mistakes, just like you do. I am just as flawed as you. Sometimes, I can be absolutely stupid. Disgusting. Childish. I am not perfect. I never was. And I never will be. Oh Arthur, I'm so sorry. I've messed everything up. This was supposed to be pe-perfect. And I've gone and-"
"Shush," Arthur said. Francis quickly stopped, and looked up after a bit. Arthur was removing his vest, which surprised him a bit. What was he doing? He handed it to Francis. "Here. It's a little short, but it will have to do. Tie this around your waist for now. Then, I'll take you to the restroom, and you can clean up as best you can, alright?" he said. Francis didn't move for now, rather surprised. The expression on Arthur's face, he had not seen all nice. His previously saddened expression, was now one of concern. He did not look cross, disgusted, or even annoyed. He just look worried. "Take it!" He insisted. Francis didn't waste a second more. He took it, and wrapped it around as best he could. Oh dear, it covered his crotch, but not the wet streaks that went down his legs. Arthur stood up and walked around the table to have a look for himself, which only deepened Francis's blush. "Oh dear. Well, that will have to do for now," he sighed. Truth be told, Arthur was more then used to this sort of scenario. Little Alfred used to have accidents all the time, both at home, and in public. So this was nothin new to him. For the first time all night, Arthur was the one taking charge, and making the decisions. He looked around for a second before picking up the cloth that was wrapped around his utensils. He unwrapped it and set the silverware to the side. He used the cloth to wipe at Francis's face, wiping away his tears.
"Come now. If you continue to cry, you'll only draw more attention to yourself," he said calmly. This was the same way he was with Alfred back then. He knew this was embarrassing, but it would only feel worse if he pitched a fit and got more people to see. If he was still upset when it was just t he two of them, then he would provide comfort. But for now, first things were first. After cleaning his face the best he could, he held the cloth to Francis's nose. "Blow," he said. Francis seemed to somehow grow even redder then before, but he obeyed. "Good lad," Arthur nodded. Francis tried not to express his slight displeasure the best he could. But Arthur didn't seem to waver in the slightest. He folded up the napkin and placed it on the table. After that, he took Francis's hand. "Come on, quick now," he said to him. "The faster he get there, the better. Can you stand?" he asked. Francis nodded and slowly rose to his feet, which were a bit shaky. He chanced a look behind him, and felt the tears already start to form all over again. Oh goodness, he had ruined the leather of the seat hadn't he? And frankly, he didn't even want to see what his trousers looked like right now. He suddenly felt Arthur squeeze his hand. "C'mon now. You're okay."
Francis was quiet as he let Arthur lead him towards the men's room. He tried to avoid the eyes that seemed to burn holes right into him. This was so mortifying. Once there, Arthur gave him a gentle push inside. "Go on. I'll be right there okay? I just need to take care of some things first." Take care of things? Francis nodded and went inside, wondered what those things were. But he quickly came to realize what it was. Arthur was probably going to try and clean up after him wasn't he? Or apologize to the staff for Francis's accident? Oh God. Francis felt so grateful that the restroom was empty, with not one here other then him. He walked down to the handicap stall on shaky legs. He went in, and locked the door behind him. With his back pressed tightly against the wall, he slowly slid down with a broken sob. He messed up. He messed up all night, and now, he had gone and pissed himself like some baby. He promised himself and Arthur that tonight was going to be perfect. But he couldn't do it. Arthur needed him, and depended on him, and he had let him down. What was the matter with him? He brought up his knees nd hid his face in them. Maybe if he was lucky, Arthur would just go away. Maybe he would leave the restaurant and not come back. He could only hope right?
A minute passed. Two, then five, then ten. But Arthur never came back. Francis sighed heavily and lifted himself from the ground. His eyes were red and watery for how much he had cried. And more people had probably come by and heard him no? How humiliating. He shook his head. He sat down on the toilet seat and used the tissue paper to clean up as best as he could. But it didn't help much. He was still such a mess. What was he supposed to do now?
He heard the bathroom door open, and he sighed. Great, another person. He heard a knock on his stall door. "Francis? May I come in?" He paused. Arthur? He came back? "I'm dreadfully sorry for taking such a long time. Please, will you let me in?" He stood up and slowly opened the door for him. As soon as he did, Arthur stepped in and locked the door behind him. "I'm glad some shops were still open out there. Especially in this rain," he sighed. It was only then that Francis noticed how damp Arthur's hair was. Had he gone out in that rain? Despite how anxious it made him earlier? But why? Arthur had a bag in his hand. He reached in, and pulled out something folded up. "I wasn't positive what size was right. Your hips are narrower then mine, so I just picked a size lower then mine. I hope that's right." Arthur was a little out of breath from jogging back and forth, and a bit flustered, so he spoke quickly, not looking at Francis as he handed him the pants. Francis was shocked. He went all this way, and put in so much trouble, just for his sake? Oh gosh... "I couldn't find a shop that carried undershorts, so you might need to keep those damp ones, just for now. I hope that won't be too troublesome. My apologies. Also, the waiter for very understanding. Apparently, this has happened before, can you believe it?" he chuckled, crumpling up the bag and stuffing it into his pocket. Finally, he looked at Francis, who didn't answer. He was gripping the folded cloth tightly in his shaky hands, and he looked like he was about to burst into tears.
"Oh, Francis..." Arthur said softly. He came up to up and began to rub the shaky man's back. "It's okay. It was only an accident, you didn't mean it right?" Francis didn't answer. So Arthur pulled him into his arms, and embraced him.
"A-Arthur!" Francis gasped.
"It's alright," Arthur said softly, rubbing his back. "I'm sorry, I haven't been too helpful have I? But it's okay, I'm here now. I'm not upset with you, I promise I'm not." He felt Francis's hands slowly wrap around him and his face bury into his shoulder. Arthur felt his shoulder grow damp with tears, and the clean trousers drop to the ground, but he didn't move.
"I'm sorry," Francis sniffled. "This was supposed to be our perfect night. I was supposed to make you happy. But I messed everything up. I'm so sorry Arthur."
"Ssh, it's alright. You have nothing to be sorry for," Arthur soothed him. "On the contrary, I should be the one apologizing. It's like you said before, you're not perfect. I feel like I may have said that just because I didn't know what more to say, and I began to expect too much out of you. I know you aren't perfect. No one is. But I suppose I simply...admired you. I always have. I'll admit, while this night hasn't gone the way I wish it had, and it may not be the ideal first date, it still means the world to me that you went out of your way to do this for me in the first place. Because it shows me that you care about me. That's all I've ever wanted Francis. To have that feeling of being cared for, and loved for who I am. You may have pointed out a few of my imperfections tonight. And I can admit they are all true. I hide too much. I don't let anyone see inside of me. Because I've always been too afraid. But I'm glad you've been able to look past those flaws, and still want to try. That proves that you truly do love me." He reached up and ran his fingers through Francis's hair. "And while it may not seem like it Francis, I love you too. I always have. I was just too embarrassed to admit to that. I love you Francis."
Those words echoed in his ears. His loved him! He really loved him! Francis's body gave a great shudder before he completely lost him composure and burst into tears right there on Arthur's shoulder as he held him tight. "There there. It's okay, you're okay. Just let it out. I'm right here." He held onto him, making sure he knew that he would always be safe, right here. Francis held tightly to Arthur's warm body. How long had it been since someone had held him like this as he cried? He wasn't sure. But being held in such a way, it made him feel like he would never be lonely again.
As this went on, Arthur kept his eyes shut. Why were tears forming in his own eyes like this? He wasn't the one that needed to by crying. But, then again, he supposed making such a confession in the way that he had, could make just about anyone at least a little emotional. Then when Francis had started crying, he could only assume that it meant he understood, and felt safe enough to cry like this. Well, then again Francis could be a crybaby sometimes he would admit. But he hadn't seen him cry genuine and emotional tears like this in some time. Arthur couldn't help but smirk. In all honesty, he hoped Francis never achieved perfection. Because if he did, he wouldn't be Francis anymore. He was flamboyant, emotional, over-the-top, a total flirt, and sometimes, he could really be an air-head. He never failed to irritate him. But that was all just a part of the Francis he loved. And that didn't mean there wasn't any part of him that wasn't perfect to him. His hair and sense of style, those little dimples, the way he always seemed to lift people back to their feet after a hard fight. No matter the circumstances, he always seemed to have a smile for others.
Well...except for this one he supposed. Perhaps in this future, he would get to see this rare and more vulnerabme side of him more often.
Arthur was patient, waiting for the tears to die down. Once they had, and Francis finally lifted his face again, Arthur used his thumb to brush away the tears that lingered on his face. "There we are. Doesn't that feel a bit better?" he asked. Francis nodded, a little embarrassed that he had seen him like that. Crying his eyes out in such a way. "Good, I'm glad. Come on now, go ahead and get changed. Once you're finished, why don't we go back to my house? It's a bit closer then yours I believe. We didn't really have our dinner, but there's nothing wrong to skipping right to dessert no? I've always found that a slice of strawberry shortcake never fails to brighten my mood." Francis chuckled softly in return, which made Arthur smile as well. "There we are. I've already missed that smile quite a bit."
"Heh, I could say the same for you," Francis admit, his voice a little horse sounding. "That's the first true smile I've seen from you all night." Arthur only shook his head, picking up the folded pants from the ground and handing them to Francis.
"Well, one good smile deserves another I suppose. You've been smiling for me all night, cheeky thing," he pointed out. "Anyhow, I'll be right outside the stall, okay? Just take your time, I'll be right there when you're ready." Francis nodded, and waited for Arthur to step out. Once he had, Francis was still. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve, and he too began to smile. Perhaps, tonight hadn't been as terrible as they made it out to be. Maybe, this really had been a bit closer to perfection then he realized. Arthur wasn't perfect, he knew that. But that was what he loved about him. His stubbornness, his mood swings, his unpredictability, it threw him off guard sometimes. But that just made him who he was. Plus, it all seemed to be brushed under the carpet when he thought of other things. His eyes, his smile, his adorable little pout, and that wonderful voice when he laughed or sang. He loved Arthur. And to hear that he loved him too, that made him so happy.
He was never going to let Arthur cry alone, not ever. And maybe, just maybe, he never had to either. Never again.