THE GACKTJOB GIRL

SUMMARY- Romance/ Comedy. You-san is temporarily incapacitated, so Gackt replaces him with…a girl! She comes and promptly falls in love with Chacha-san. A candy floss romance starring Chacha X O.C. and rest of Gacktjob i.e. Junji, Ju-ken etc. (large doses of Miyavi X O.C. keep sneaking in dunno why…). JROCK. Chachamaru. Camui Gackt.

CHAPTER 1

"Kimi wa seijitsu na moralist Kirei na yubi de boku wo nazoru"

(You are a sincere moralist, Running a pretty finger over me)

"Oh shut up" Gackt muttered to his cell phone. He was busy blowing up aliens on his computer.

" Boku wa junsui na terrorist Kimi no omou ga mama ni Kakumei ga okiru"

(I am a pure terrorist, Just as you hoped, A revolution is happening)

Gackt sighed…how he hated that song! He was so sick of it. Actually, that was exactly why he used it as his ring tone, so that he would answer the phone quickly to cut off the sound of his own voice. He reluctantly abandoned his joystick and grabbed his cell.

"Mushi –mushi?"

"Gackt-san? Its me, You", came You-san's voice from the other end.

"You darling! And how are you, my sweety-cutie honey-pie?" said Gackt silkily into the phone.

"Listen Gackt I have to tell you something important" said You, ignoring Gackt's over-friendly tone – he was used to random fits of yaoiness from him. "Today in the morning, when I was crossing this road…guess what? This huge group of girls wolf-whistled at me!" You chuckled at the memory.

"They must have mistaken you for me." Said Gackt serenely.

"Yeah well, but the thing is, I was in the middle of the road when they whistled so I turned and so I didn't see this car heading straight for me from the other side so…"

"NOOO! YOU'RE DEAD! Oh my poor You-chan is dead! Oh Jesus, why…"

"I'm not dead, you dope" You's voice crackled with exasperation.

"You're not dead?"

"Nope."

"Sure?"

"Quite sure."

"Well that's a relief then. I thought you were sending a message from 'beyond'. Coz, you know, I can hear dead people (and see them too). For further details, read 'Jihaku'."

"I have read Jihaku." You giggled. "It's a big, fat pack of lies – except for the bit where you described how you thought I was the greatest guitarist you'd ever met…"

"IT'S NOT!" Gackt gasped in horror. "IT. IS. NOT…FAT! Nothing about me is fat! I do 4000 stomach crunches, 6000 sit ups, 8000 pull-ups, yoga, karate, jujutsu, tae-kwando, judo, kung fu and tap dancing every single day so that I'll never get fat!"

"Yes, yes Gakkun, I know" crooned you-san soothingly. He had forgotten how touchy Gackt could be about that particular 'F-word'. "You have the most perfect body and you are the most desirable person after Helen of Troy to have graced this planet of ours. Now, please darling, could you just let me get to the point?"

Gackt relapsed into a sulky silence.

"The thing is, the accident left me with a couple of broken bones and a nasty twisted ankle. It's nothing serious but I'm gonna be bed ridden for a couple of months at least. I'm sorry Gakkun, but you'll just have to replace me with someone else for the time being, ok? Gackt? Hello? Gackt are you there? Darling, talk to me…sigh…I guess he's fainted with shock…"

Author's note –

1. This chapter is kinda short…more like a prologue. The rest of the chapters will be decent sized, I promise!

2.'Jihaku' means 'confessions'. It is Gackt's autobiography. In the first few chapters, he recounts how, after an NDE (near death experience) he could hear the undead and how he still has trouble sleeping coz he can hear spirits at night and loads of other crackpot stuff like that! Hehe…no… It is actually a pretty interesting read, and the bit about how he met You-san and was totally awe struck by him is adorable. Go read it if you haven't… English translation available on loads of Gackt fan websites like 'Cool like plastic' or 'Eien no yume'.